Hi Swistle!
I’ve been reading you sort of obsessively for many years, have five kids (including surprise boy/girl twins!), and finally have a question I don’t think you’ve addressed yet in the blog:
Where do your upper-elementary, middle- and high-school kids do their homework? We’re a year or so away from needing to use real beds for the toddler twins (our youngest), and when we do that we’ll reconfigure the two shared bedrooms to make them single-sex. We’ve been mulling a loft bed with a desk underneath for our first-grader, but if having five babies in five years taught me anything, it’s that the purchases that seem *so* useful at point of sale are often the ones we’re reselling on Craigslist three years later because…well, by then, everything has changed.
So do your kids have designated workspaces? Personal or shared desks? Are they in their bedrooms, or elsewhere? Do any of them work on their beds or at the kitchen table? I went to high school in the era of AOL dial-up and beige desktops, but while I used my computer a fair amount, I never sat at the desk for anything I didn’t have to type.
Of course, by the time my oldest (now in second grade) goes to high school, they might be stepping into algebraic equations via hologram, but I like doing the research regardless. Thanks for any and all insights.
Oh, this IS an interesting question!
My original plan, back before any of the kids were doing homework, was to have desks in the rooms. That’s what I had when I was growing up. Though, did I use my homework desk for homework? Heck, no: I used it to hold my frosty eye shadows, my frosty lipsticks, my curling iron, my assortment of hair sprays, and my Charlie and Chantilly perfumes. To do my homework, I sat on my bed. But I still had it in my mind that bedrooms should have homework desks.
Then we had our third and fourth and fifth children, and there was no longer space in any of the bedrooms for desks. The one desk I’d already bought (back when we had two kids and they each had their own room) now lives in our computer/office room, holding up a computer.
So! Now we have a 12th grader, a 10th grader, two 6th graders, and a 4th grader, and where the kids do their homework is “all over the house.” There’s no set place for it, though there are favorite/usual places. NOBODY likes to be in their rooms, they ALL have to be right smack up in the grills of everybody else, but a kid will SOMETIMES do homework in a bedroom if they are sent there by a parent (“No, you CANNOT insist that everyone else be absolutely silent so that you can concentrate in the middle of the living room!”) or if it’s after bedtime.
The two older boys often do their homework at the dining room table, which has become their office: their computers live there and their textbooks live there, so that’s pretty much where they live too. (We eat at our dining room table once a year, on Thanksgiving.)
The three younger kids tend to do theirs at the coffee table in the living room. It’s a nice big wide coffee table with short stools around it. (The kids also eat meals there.)
Sometimes a kid will perch on a stool at the kitchen counter to do homework.
This seems like the kind of question where it’s interesting to hear how a bunch of different households handle it.
I did my homework at school. Always. If there was a large project I had to work on (science fair, family tree on poster board, etc.), I would do it on the dining room table. My four other siblings brought home more homework than I ever did, and they would also use the dining room table, or the peninsula in the kitchen. None of us had desks in our rooms. There was only one in the whole house, and it held the only computer we owned.
My kids each have a desk in their room, and neither one has ever used those desks for homework. They perch on their beds, their floor, or the couch in our office. Very occasionally kid #2 will use the kitchen table or the island in the kitchen.
We have two elementary kids, but at the moment we have one desk in the kitchen and the dining room table. Whoever gets the desk first, gets it. Long amount of homework are usually done at the desk so I can help while I get dinner ready, and snacks are allowed at both places. We don’t have a place for them to do homework in their room and since they share, this feels like doom anyhow.
Well, this makes me feel better, because my 3rd grader does not have a desk, and whines about it. I’ve offered him my desk, the dining room table (though we do use it daily), and a bunch of other options. He always ends up sprawled on the floor in our playroom. But now I feel legitimate that he’d probably end up there anyway, and not just because I don’t want to buy new furniture!
I have a 6th grader and a 2nd grader and they do their homework mostly at the living room coffee table which is as big as some dining room tables. Mostly they sit on the floor. Sometimes one will use the piano bench and sit on the floor. The 6th grader only uses his desk in his room if I force him out of the living room because he’s demanding everyone be quiet in a common area. Big projects are usually done at the kitchen table.
Kitchen table. 2kids, 12 and 8. Oldest has a bedroom desk but only rarely uses it for homework. This year he keeps a 2nd copy of a heavy book up there so sometimes he works there.
My daughter does worksheets on the couch, reading and math in her room, and research/reports at the desktop computer which is on a large desk in a central room. Lately she has had some projects that need to have material laid out, so I got her a small rectangular folding table for her bedroom. It’s kind of perfect because if she decides to do a messy craft, it’s something that’s easy to clean. Plus, it folds down to almost nothing if she wants the space back. We are rich in chairs, so it wasn’t an issue to pull one from somewhere else in the house.
It’s good to think of this stuff now, because at some point your kids will need room to spread out. I never liked doing homework in my bed; it was fine for sleeping but not so comfy for prolonged sitting.
I have two middle schoolers and an elementary school age kid. The oldest and youngest kid do their homework at the kitchen table. The middle kid likes to do hers on the floor of her bedroom. Unless she needs help, and then she’s back in the kitchen. My kids need a computer for homework almost daily, so everyone has their own chromebook- which I am awful at monitoring use of. It seems that middle school science has morphed into “watch a video and make a comment on it.” My oldest two have desks in their rooms- neither of which are used for homework.
Three kids – freshman in HS, 4th grader, 5th grader.
Freshman – in his room, at his desk. Tho he has a desktop computer and lots of his work requires the computer.
4th grader – she uses the desk in MY office for some reason (note she does not have a desk)
5th grader – no idea, he seems to get his homework done without me ever seeing him do it?? We REMOVED the desk from his room to make space!
Our school district gives iPads to each child so use of a computer is not an issue for us. My boys tend to do their homework at the kitchen island or I can help if necessary. I send them to their room though if they’re getting fussy about noise level. Then they just usually sit on the floor or bed.
I think the loft desk combo is still kind of a cool idea. If you’re sharing a room it be almost like having your own dedicated area with in the shared space. Might not get used for homework but I still think it’s a good idea.
I have a 4th grader, and he has always done homework at the kitchen table. He has no desk in his room, but our “office” is right next to his room, so he can use the desk in there if he likes as he gets older. Right now, the kitchen table works because my husband and I can supervise and are available for questions. Supervision is key, as there is a lot of stalling and staring into space instead of working.
My kids always did their homework at the kitchen island through middle school. By high school, though, they were ready to get away to a quiet space so they could concentrate better. My youngest son, just turned 15, moved himself upstairs in 8th grade to his room/desk- I think because he was copying what his sibs do. After all, as the youngest, no one else was downstairs but me. However, there had been some arguing about me playing music in the kitchen etc interfering with his concentration, so that’s probably why he moved himself.
The obvious DOWNSIDE of the working at their desk upstairs thing is that their school requires an iPad and also there is computer usage as needed, so he may spend some time up there goofing off. That being said, I am also highly unlikely to be looking over his shoulder all the time and ALSO not wanting to be super quiet while he works on the main level of the house. So my solution is random spot checks of electronic equipment, a filter, and finger crossing. :)
My kids (one high schooler, one middle schooler) have their own rooms with desks. We have a dining room table where we eat all our meals. The kids all have devices provided by school, but they aren’t connected to the house wifi; if kids need Internet, they either need to use my computer or my husband’s or use their phones as hotspots. The result is that that almost always use a family computer on the dining room for computer-ish homework.
The older they get, the more homework they do in their rooms, although they also sometimes have rituals, such as doing math first, at the dining room table, while drinking a soda.
We generally try to minimize distractions so that kids who want to work in the dining room can, but we are also quite familiar with Swistle’s “No, you CANNOT insist that everyone else be absolutely silent so that you can concentrate in the middle of the living room!”
We gave the older kid a desk at our old house and it was basically a flat surface to put stuff on. In this house, we repurposed that desk as the kid-computer desk. All homework is done at the kitchen table, except when it’s done on the floor. Or the stairs.
Yes! The stairs! WHY the stairs?!
They (9th grade, 5th, 3rd, Kindergarten) also choose the dining table, the living room, or get it done at school during free time. Rarely their desks or bedrooms, unless it’s studying for something at bedtime or if we make them go upstairs where it’s quiet.
Also, we bought the oldest kid a very nice desk, the middle kid a cheaper desk, and the youngest kid something that was on sale at Target, because I came to realize that the desks were not going to be used for that long.
Growing up as one of four, we did homework in the kitchen in elementary school. Middle and high school, we did it in our rooms. I had a desk in my room which I used for some kinds of homework, but also sat on the bed for others. Or worked on the floor, for big art projects. The family computer lived in the dining room and we didn’t need or use network access for homework.
We have my 10-year-old stepdaughter every other weekend and a recent baby. I do math with my stepdaughter downstairs at the kitchen table, mainly because she has a computer that she uses primarily for watching Netflix in her room– if she’s allowed to do math or other disliked subjects upstairs, she ends up watching Netflix instead of concentrating on her work. When she was younger, we did reading downstairs for the same reason; nowadays, she likes reading enough that she’ll do it without an eye on her. None of her homework has required real computer use yet, beyond looking up different zoo animals for one project last year.
The whole experience with the older one has informed my plans for the younger one. I work from home and am planning on giving my younger daughter a desk in my office. At least at first, homework will be done at that desk, the kitchen table, or in a comfy chair in the office. When she’s old enough for her own computer, it’ll be a laptop that lives in the office, not in her room. It’s not just about the distraction during homework– my stepdaughter stays up until 12:00 or 1:00 watching kid shows on her weekends with us because she has the access in her bedroom. I think it’s just too much of a temptation at that age, plus her dad has never had a bedtime or television time limits for her. (I really, really wish I could change this for my stepdaughter. I worry about the bad habits she’s experiencing with us. But I’m also a stepmom who came into the picture too late to dictate that sort of thing. At least with our baby daughter, I’ll have more of a say.)
Growing up my siblings & I did our homework at the dinner table. I am incredibly easily distracted and my parents were usually in the kitchen to continually redirect me. They were also nearby in case we needed help. My dad LIVED for helping us with our math homework (he’s an engineer) and would bust out the chalkboard to show us how it was done when HE was a kid and then get really upset when we didn’t understand “old math” (you should see how irritated he gets helping his grandkids now!!). When I was in high school I started doing homework in my room and…well…that was a bad idea. My grades were awful. My oldest (15) did homework at the table as well so we could talk while I was cooking. Now that she’s in high school she does a lot of it at my folks house after school before I pick her up (mainly because her 5 year old sister won’t give her any peace). My youngest is in Kindergarten and doesn’t have a whole lot of homework but when she does we do it together at the kitchen table or island. While I don’t do homework, I do work from home a lot and depending on the day I’ll either set up shop at my kitchen table or do it in front of the TV with Netflix playing in the background because I find I actually work better with distraction (the quiet is very distracting to me, which I find odd).
I have always needed TV or music playing in the background when I do homework, study, write, etc. Now that I work from home, I have the TV on all day even though I am not really watching it.
It could be because I learned to do homework at school when there were 20 other kids in the room talking, etc. My four other sibs were always around when I was working on big projects or reading a book at home. I just need background noise of some kind.
This is really interesting. We live in a 2BR NYC apartment (for reference) My daughter (4th grade) switches between the dining table, curled up on the couch or sprawled all over the room she shares with her brother. My son, 7, likes to sit at the table, with me next to him, or sprawled on the living room floor.
Our master bedroom is actually an office (we work from home), so our son (14, HS freshman) tends to do his written homework sprawled on the floor of the office, or on the floor of the kitchen if we’re cooking. He does his math homework either on the floor or at the dining room table, depending on whether he’s getting help from my husband on it (Algebra II/Trigonometry). He does his computer work at his very own computer at his very own desk in the office, or at the computer in the living room if we’re cooking (we cut the cord and stream video)
It’s pretty clear that he wants to be where the action is when he’s doing his work.
No kids here, but I saw one of the bed/loft combos at Ikea this weekend and said to my husband I would have LOVED one of those growing up. I sort of wish I still lived in my studio apartment so I could have an excuse to consider it…
My 6th grade son has a desk in his room, but it houses a microscope and his “samples.” He does his homework at the kitchen island, unless he needs the computer, then he uses our desktop which lives in a nook of the kitchen If the homework is just reading, he is usually on the living room sofa or curled up on top of the heating vent in the living room.
I have four kids, three are in school. The kindergartener (who has the most homework of the three!) and the third grader do their homework at the dining room table. They have a desk in the room they share, but haven’t used it. The seventh grader rarely has homework, but does it at her desk in her room when she does. She did her homework at the dining room table when she was younger, so I am expecting the younger kids may start using their desk when they get a little older and don’t need my help so much with homework anymore.
My daughter always did her homework on her bed. We had bought her a really nice desk, but I don’t think she ever used it for homework-not one time. In fact looking back, I don’t even remember her ever sitting at that desk-she used it for storage of books and various beauty products.
Really enjoying this post. I have an 8th grader who has a fair amount of homework and a 2nd grader who has almost none. Back in the day, I figured we’d eventually get a loft bed/desk underneath set up for Oldest when he started having serious amounts of homework. However, he is an extrovert who has never wanted to spend a single moment alone (this gene skipped a generation from my mom to my children, but I digress). So he’s always done his homework at the kitchen table or the dining room table (the dining room is right off the kitchen). At one point he got extremely upset that Youngest was being SUPER LOUD so he couldn’t concentrate. Rather than go to his nice, quiet room, however, he just put on noise cancelling headphones and kept working in the kitchen. Eventually we converted our dining room to an office because we never used it as a dining room and we needed an office. So now he does his homework in the office at a long table we put in there for both kids. He does almost all of his homework on a lap top so he could technically do it anywhere, but he just wants to be near the family. Youngest seems to be headed in the same extroverted direction so I don’t think we’ll get her a desk in her room unless she really advocates for one at some point. My kids just don’t seem to want peace and quiet.
This is SO interesting! The coffee table idea is brilliant! We are replacing our aging ottoman someday soon and I will keep in mind the homework function if we buy a coffee table.
My kiddo does homework at the kitchen table (our only table and where we eat every meal). But she’s in first grade, so we have a ways to go. I did it sitting on the floor in my bedroom (never at my desk), or at my mom’s kitchen table or in the living room.
But I have more questions for swistle!: how do you deal with computers–who gets one, where are they kept? (I grew up in a household where families had one if any computers and mostly used for word processing–I think we got internet when I was 17). Also, where does everyone keep their kiddo’s backpacks? And school supplies at such?
Paul and I each have our own computers. Then we also have Paul’s old computer for children to use. Rob and William both saved up money to buy used laptop computers, so they each have one of those. BEFORE Rob saved up for his laptop, he bought an old desktop computer at a flea market for $40; we bought that from Rob when he bought his laptop, so now that is a homework-only computer for the children to use. (We were having trouble with kids putting off their computer-based homework, then monopolizing the kid computer all evening or over a weekend, so that the other kids were “punished” in a sense by their sibling’s procrastination.)
We have a small bedroom that we use as an office, basically filled by the four desktop computers (Paul’s, mine’s, the kid computer, the kid homework computer). Rob and William have their laptop computers set up on the dining room table.
Thank you!
Growing up, I always did my homework at a desk (and at nearly 30, my first desk continues to move with me because it is the perfect size for small, city apartments). Pre-high school, my desk was underneath my built-in loft bed (which I highly recommend). It limited the mess of papers to a confined space because I didn’t want my school stuff interfering with my play area. This had the added benefit of making it easier to keep track of things. We moved before high school and ended up in a two-story house and I did NOT like having my desk upstairs in my room. Whereas before, I could hear what was going on in the kitchen/living spaces, now I felt isolated, so my desk was moved downstairs into the study, where I could do homework within hearing distance of the family (and often with my dad at the opposite desk). The only time I used the kitchen counter or dining table was when I was doing a large project or needed help.
I really liked having my own workspace, decorated and (dis)organized the way I liked it, but for me, the most important part was where that workspace was in relation to everyone else in the house.
Your last sentence exactly sums up my husband’s take on this; he thinks they’ll want to be in the common area, no matter how many desks we set up elsewhere. I’m hoping we can compromise with a setup like the first one you describe–desks on the main level, but not smack dab in the middle of our (fairly modest, for a five-kid household) living space.
Swistle, thank you for posting my question; it’s especially fun to read your answer, but I’m loving each of these responses!
My 6th grader did her homework on the coffee table in the living room until recently. Now that my baby is 3 and can’t think of anything better to do than plague her sister she does it at the dining room table which is separated from the main part of the house by a baby gate. Unfortunately the play room is off the dining room so the time she spends doing homework I have to toddler wrangle exclusively.
My kids are in K and 2nd grade so still need a LOT of parental involvement, so they are at the kitchen table. You remind me how much I preferred to do homework in my bed, though! My kids’ school is big into flexible classroom seating, so I can’t picture them ever wanting a desk.
We homeschool (4th, 3rd and kindergarten; there’s also a 3 year old) and most of the school-related work is done at the dining room table that we eat at only once a year. Sometimes I will take a kid over to the living room couch to read together or to explain something without being totally disruptive to kids working at the table. Or, if my 9 year old son is feeling particularly vocal or tooth-grindy (sensory issues), he will take some work to the kitchen. For the most part, being asked to move to one’s room is considered a punishment even if it would be more convenient or comfortable.
The older kids used to have bunk beds to help with space, which sounded like a genius idea when my daughter was a sweet, calm toddler and the baby was a newborn. When that baby turned into a monkey-toddler that bunk bed had to be dismantled.
We have 2 designated kid computers which are laptops w/docking stations & monitors, at a sort of counter/work-station area in the playroom/kid TV room. The computers can be pushed back so the counter/table can be used for non-computer work. We also have a dining room table that we eat at every day bc it is our only table.
7th grader sits at the computer desk most of the time, occasionally at DR table. She uses the computer quite a bit for school, her school is big on google docs, google drive etc. I often make her go to the computer desk & put on headphones, even if she doesn’t have computer work, bc the rest of the family noise is pretty distracting.
4th grader usually uses the DR table, she has HW every night but not too much, can usually finish in 30 min, occasionally a bit more. She rarely needs the computer for HW.
1st grader only has a tiny bit (10 min) of HW, he is usually on the floor.
Our “playroom” is morphing into a kid rec/TV room. We still have our preschool table/chairs which the 1st grader uses. I’d like to get some other kind of table but the space is pretty small! And the kids can/do use the computer workstation area when they want to draw/color/cut/etc.
I love reading all of this. I have twin girls in 4th grade and a kindergarten boy. The girls share a bedroom. They each have a desk in the open, upstairs loft area, but they are overrun with craft supplies and other projects; only one child occasionally does homework there. They usually end up doing homework everywhere else downstairs; kitchen table, dining room table, family room…the girls each got Chromebooks for Christmas so that there will not be squabbling over homework/playing on our one family desktop; we shall see how that goes. We do not allow electronics in bedrooms after bedtime currently, but we make a lot of rules that we end up changing later, so…
It seems the kitchen/dining room table is the most popular place. When I grew up – in elementary school, I did it at the kitchen table. As a teen in my room on my bed. My son pretty much exclusively used our dining room table throughout his school career.
My 4th grader does her homework at the coffee table in our living room, even though she has a perfectly nice desk upstairs in her bedroom. She also wants to be where the action is, even if in her case that just means pass-through traffic since her brother, who doesn’t have homework yet, doesn’t hang out in that room. When she has to use a computer, she uses the one in our TV room, which is the designated kid computer.
She got a sewing machine for her last birthday, so she’s repurposed her desk and doesn’t seem to mind using it for that. She actually generally really likes hanging out in her room; she just doesn’t like doing homework there.
8th grader and 5th grader here!
Oldest does her homework at the desk in the famly room. We have a split level so she can hear what else is going on/ask for help with algebra, but the desk faces a wall so less distraction for her. She has a loft bed/desk in her room and the desk is basically her makeup area.
Youngest rarely has homework so he does it at the kitchen table. No loft or desk in his room.
Not sure how things will shift next year when I have a middle schooler and high schooler!
My sister and I always did homework at the kitchen table until high school, then we studied in our rooms back in the Stone Age.
Growing up, I think I usually did my homework at the dining room table. I had a desk from mid-elementary school onward, but it was too cluttered to ever actually use. Plus, if I did my homework in a “main” part of the house, my parents would usually be nearby to help with difficult problems.
When I was in high school and rarely needed help with my homework (and didn’t particularly WANT my parents to be looking over my shoulder), I did my homework in my room. Again, my desk was never really in a useable condition, so I usually did it sprawled out on the floor or on my bed using a binder or something as a writing surface.
We gave our daughter a small vanity instead of a desk. She either did homework at the computer in the living room (office space is in the corner) or at a table, or on a sofa. Eldest son had a desk and only used it if he wanted quiet.
That said, I commented because we gave our dd an Ikea hi-lo bed when she was 5 and it has been in every configuration over the years. Loft, mid-height, and low. Currently, it is at low height with space for her storage boxes underneath (she’s in college, lives in the dorm, so in the summer, you have to put the stuff somewhere!), and sheers as canopy. She *still* loves her bed. I’d definitely buy it again.
My 7th grader has been doing her homework at the dining room table or on the living room floor for a long time, with computer work at a desk tucked into the common space between the two rooms. She complained about distraction, and wanted a desk in her room so much she offered to pay for it herself! Of course we bought one, a tiny one (her room is not large.) It remains to be seen how much she uses it.
4th grader does his homework in the living room on the coffee table, no complaints.
My 8th grader usually does his homework at school but on the rare occasion he actually brings it home, usually he does it in his bedroom at the desk. Sometimes he’ll work at the kitchen table while I’m cooking dinner, but a lot of it is computer-based and his laptop stays in his room.
The 3rd grader used to work mostly in the kitchen, but I’ve noticed in the last couple of months that she spends more time in her room too. She has a desk but no chair (desk is a hand-me-down mostly used for storage) so sits on the floor. Every so often she’ll bug us about getting a desk chair, but her room is tiny and filled with stuff so there isn’t really space for it, plus I’m not really confident she would actually work at her desk reliably anyway.
All the posts are very helpful. Our oldest is in pre-k so I wonder about this. Thank you!
6th grader at project based charter middle school. Almost all of her homework is on Google Classrooms, so she’s been sitting at our desktop computer in our non-dining dining room that’s more of a computer/craft/play room. She just got a Chromebook for Christmas, so she doesn’t have to sit there anymore. She did some homework on the sofa with it and some on her bed. We have a single school desk in her room but she has never really used it for homework.
3rd grader. He doesn’t really have much homework. He gets it done at school and then just has to read, which he does by listening to audiobook CDs in either our room or his. On the rare occasion he does have a worksheet, I’d rather he’d be at the kitchen table, but he will more likely grab a lap desk and sit on the sofa. (No TV on.)
Kindergartener. Not really any homework either yet.
Kids are currently in SK, Gr. 2, and Gr 4. I am conflicted about how to set this up for when they have longer stretches of homework. They are young enough now that homework is usually done and packed up by dinner or easily set aside, which is necessary because we only have only one eating table.
RIght now the three kids share one bedroom but shortly the two boys will be moving to a separate room. Their bedrooms are more than spacious enough for desks and it almost seems wasteful not to set desks up in them. BUT I am very concerned about computers/electronics in bedrooms. So then we’ll have to be wedging tables or desks into our under-sized living space, which seems less than ideal also. … dunno yet but I am much appreciative of the time everyone has taken to share their thoughts.
I have one homework doing child. He does have a desk in his room, but he doesn’t do HOMEWORK at his desk.
He mostly does his homework on the couch, either using the coffee table or a clipboard. He does computer homework on the (shared family) desktop computer. Very occasionally he sits at our dining table. Often he flops on the floor.
This is a very interesting question. I’m a grandmother now so I can tell you where I did homework in the late 60’s and early 70’s and where my children, with little ones of their own now, did homework. I did mine on my bed unless I needed to write a paper (needless to say, no computer back then). Then, I would sit at my desk in my bedroom. My 3 children, all in their late 30’s and early 40’s, did their homework in their rooms, usually on their beds. The real reason I’m writing is to make a comment and ask a question. I found, and it’s still true today, that I need peace and quiet to concentrate at my work. I can’t have people around me chatting or noise directly near me. My grandkids do their elementary school homework at the kitchen table. I wonder if this is the best environment. Haven’t there been good and valid studies that show that distractions while doing homework are not good as the ability to concentrate and absorb what one is learning goes way down? Of course, kids want to do homework in the middle of everything and/or while watching tv but are we doing our children a disservice by not insisting that they go to a quiet place to do homework? Also, does it not put more weight on the importance of doing homework if we don’t mix it with the household goings on? I’m not insinuating that those of you, including my own children are not doing things “right”, just another prospective.
I’m very interested in what others have to say about this. As someone who requires a quiet space in order to concentrate and read, I think it would have been a useful skill to be able to focus regardless of what is going on around me.
It depends on the student. Some benefit from a busy environment, some benefit from a quite environment.
I don’t even have kids yet but I am very concerned about electronics in bedrooms. Once I had my own computer in my room I definitely talked to friends on AOL instant messenger all day and while I was a good kid I definitely could have gotten into trouble/accessed the Scary Internet easily. My parents were very strict so I didn’t go to them for things but also not tech savy so I was able to do what I wanted. My husband, on the other hand, says he learned a lot from playing video games online from an early age and it made him who he is today. While I don’t doubt that playing Civilization etc. increased his reading skills and gave him a lifelong interest in history, I also think that we have to find a balance that doesn’t mean kids get unrestricted internet stranger game play.
I guess we’re already sort of talking about it here but I definitely would appreciate a post on raising kids in the age of the internet. You’ve talked briefly about it before, but not sure if you’ve talked at length about cell phones/computer access. I guess it’s a really personal decision (and I’m sure “judgemental sanctimommy” and parental hovering stuff comes to mind) but I feel like there has to be a right way to find a balance. Of course the kids should be raised to make good choices and to earn trust, and of course people know howto handle these issues based on their particular children, but I guess I’m not sure how far the line should go. Do you check the browser history everyday? Is that crazy? Do you not allow social media profiles and then once allowed, demand facebook passwords? I would have been mortified if my parents tried to get my passwords, but at the same time what if some creepy person got in contact with me and I was too young to know “nice internet stranger” from “BAD INTERNET STRANGER”?
There’s also the issue of me thinking my husband’s internet stranger video game time was probably fine because he was male so even though bad things still happen, I would worry more about a daughter. And then I feel HORRIBLE because how protectionist of me to be more concerned for a possible daughter than a son.
*Deep breathing*. Well. I suppose it will sort itself out, but I am interested in how people have sorted these issues themselves.
Interesting, I made a comment above about concern about electronics in the bedroom but my main concerns aren’t stranger danger but rather cyber-bullying/general unkindness, excessive procrastination/time-wasting, and poor sleep habits.
Those are actually even bigger threats (and more likely to actually happen) to be honest, and I’m concerned about those things too. I just remember spending all hours of the day/night doing whatever I wanted online (mostly talking to people I knew in real life, but still) and then staying up doing homework until 3AM while taking power naps every half hour because I was exhausted. It definitely wasn’t healthy and while I didn’t get as much supervision because I was a good kid, I think I could have been more successful had I not had quite so much private access to the internet. I’m torn because I very much believe if you’ve raised a good kid who respects your trust you shouldn’t hover over their every move…but I also think the parents need to stay super involved and up-to-date with the kid so they continue to make good choices and your parental spidey-sense alarm bells have a chance to go off if needed. I don’t know. I actually do see a TON of benefit to kids learning how to use the internet and communicate online (I actually became great friends with my eventual husband on AOL instant messenger), but I’m just nervous because I certainly knew people who were up to no good online. And I feel things are even more crazy out there now than they were then, though that may just be because my perception is now from a grown-up brain.
Ditto this. Except I didn’t have computer access in my room until university. I was a teen in the days when most families had one desktop in the home and a dial-up connection.