I have a movie from 2013 to recommend, if you want to get a feel for how long my Netflix queue is: Now You See Me (Netflix, Amazon). It’s an action movie but with MAGIC. In fact, I would say it’s a MAGIC movie with some action, including one overly-long-to-the-point-of-dull car chase. I would like to say ahead of time that I found the romance plotline unpleasant: there is no way she should ever consider that disrespectful, dismissive pinehole. But I liked everything else, and the romance didn’t ruin the rest of the movie for me.
I have a book to recommend, but with caution:
(image from Amazon.com)
The recommendation is because it fell into that category of books I look forward to getting back to. The caution is because the plotline has a strong religious element that is not flattering to religion. My guess is that most people who were religious would think, “Well, but MY religion isn’t like that” and still enjoy the story, but I don’t know. I’d also like to say that I found it repetitive and tiresome how often the main character asked herself cynical questions. But it didn’t last forever, and it was not enough to ruin the book.
Paul has put up the tree, and the lights. Now it is my turn to supervise the putting up of the ornaments, and I realized I really, really didn’t want to. The whole idea made me tired. I am trying not to let current events drown the holiday season, but there is a spectrum of Doable/Undoable, and the ornaments were falling way on the joyless side—even considering that all I would need to do is supervise the children doing it. It was more like I didn’t want to see the ornaments.
I wondered if this might be the right year to do something I’ve thought in the past might be fun, which is to decorate the whole tree with only homemade ornaments. As soon as I thought of that idea, it opened up a little pocket of Doable. I broached the idea lightly to the children and they were ON BOARD, so that’s what we’re doing this year. I like the feeling this gives me of looking for ideas. I’m making dinner and wondering if I can find that gold paint we used to have and if it would work on dry pasta noodles; I’m emptying the trash and wondering if I could do something with the egg carton; I remember making paper chains as a child, and wonder if I’d have to make one for the entire tree or if I could just make one until I felt like not making it anymore; etc. But I don’t feel PRESSURE to do anything: with five children, the tree will get plenty of decoration whether or not I make any ornaments.
I’m making a couple of exceptions to the only-homemade rule. One is the chocolate ornaments I’d already bought. This is my third year buying those, and they were another little pocket of Doable, so I’m not changing that. The second is candy canes. Sure, I know people can make those. Not me—or at least, not this year.
When my husband and I were first married, we decided that our Christmas ornaments would be ONLY those we made ourselves, or gifts from others. That first year we made a lot of gingerbread cookie ornaments. Stars, people, cats. We had a lot fun making and decorating them and they looked great on the tree! Of course the classic popcorn-and-cranberry garlands are fun and really help to fill out the tree.
We designed and ordered our holiday cards over the weekend, slapped a wreath on the front door, and ordered tickets for the Christmas Carol at Ford’s Theater, which I’ve wanted to see for years. I’m actually excited about that last one. So, yeah, new is good.
This is the first year I will have a tree with a an energetic, young cat in the house and there’s no way I’m hanging up my mother’s fragile ornaments from the 1930’s. I was thinking of making all the ornaments out of colorful cut poster board type paper – just making flat, simple shapes. Excited to see what you come up with. I hear you on not being in the mood. I’m not either but maybe if I begin, I’ll get there.
My mother and step-father have fallen head-over-heels for an “adorable” hellion with claws, and have declared that this means they probably won’t put up a tree this year. I suspect this means they won’t put up a tree for years because that cat is young, and if they don’t put up a tree in deference to its mischief-making tendencies now, I can’t see them saying “screw the cat, let’s take our chances” in subsequent years. And given that our main family Christmas celebrations are at their house, I cannot help but resent it a smidge that this furry tyrant (who bullies my tiny dog, by the way) has stolen part of our traditions!
But they are really smitten with this cat, and fondly describe how they had to make all kinds of precarious maneuvers on ladders to rescue the blasted thing from the roof/trees/porch ceiling overhang/etc. all summer.
I think our hellions (ha!) are related! When ours was a kitten, I decorated large, fresh wreaths so you still get the greenery, the smell and the ornaments. It was hung high on a wall where he couldn’t get it. I could tell my niece was disappointed there was no tree, so I’m going for it this year.
I have a young, verrrry energetic cat and chose a tiny tree that I move to a closed room (the bathroom) when I leave the house / go to sleep. Maybe you can convince your parents to do the same?
I am excited to hear what you and the kids make. I have decided that this is the year I am getting my own tree (although w 2 cats I am nervous) and while I do have decorations, I have always hung/displayed them in different ways and I don’t really want to stop doing that just to have a tree.
I didn’t want to send Christmas cards this year. It was not doable (for me) but my husband kept insisting. So I said he could do them ALL by himself. And then he did, which actually surprised me and the most I helped was saying my dad’s address while I was baking. But I’ve been trying to take a step back this year so I can actually enjoy the holidays versus running around feeling like I have to do this or that. And it sounds silly but I’m doing lots of letting go of things that don’t serve me. Which was some nonsense I picked up in yoga class the other day that really ended up being the best thing ever and not nonsense at all once I started reading how much of what I was holding on to were others expectations.
<3 !
Our tree has partial paper chains! My kiddo only had the attention span for about two feet. It looks fine (to me).
I watched Now You See Me this past weekend as well and wholeheartedly agree with your assessment/description.
I love Christmas almost aggressively, and refuse to let a bad election ruin it for me. (Though as I’ve mentioned in other comments, this is easier because I’m in Canada.)
We make a point of buying an ornament on every family vacation, and we all get ornaments in our Christmas stockings, so we’re using fewer and fewer of the cheap “starter” ornaments we bought early in our marriage. In fact, today we’re getting our tree so I’ll be able to figure out which and how many of those ornaments we don’t use anymore. The question is: donate them to a charity, pass them on to someone who needs them directly, or decorate a tree outside to spread some cheer to people who “just can’t even” this year?
Bread dough figures are awesome to make and color.
Liz, I can’t get the link to go where it should, but I would love to make those with my kids! If you see this, can you perhaps repost the link? (It may be that I’m just special, in which case, you can just smile and ignore this comment!)
You’ll have to add the sequel Now You See Me 2 to your queue. I recently watched it on a flight and thoroughly enjoyed it.
I also am having trouble Doing Things this year, and it hadn’t occurred to me that it could be lingering sadness/helplessness over Recent Events. I just feel sad, and not much into the holiday spirit at all. Maybe I should follow your lead and ease up on the self-pressure to Do Things.
My Dad entered hospice on Halloween. The election went horribly awry on my 40th birthday. It’s approaching 90 degrees here today, and I have a horrible chest cold. I’m trying not to be a Grinch for my kids (who are only 1 and 6), but we cut our trip to the tree farm very short yesterday and I don’t see the tree moving from its bucket in the backyard for awhile. And it’s only one of many Christmas traditions I can’t face yet. Here’s hoping things turn around in my head soon. We’ve only got 20 days to go…
Don’t know you, but I’m sorry. Sending good wishes to you.
I am usually a grinch about Xmas and we haven’t put up a tree in years. Small house, cats, etc. But this year our daughter is 3 and was begging to have one, so we put it up this weekend. She and I traced some gingerbread men and ladies from an online template, and candy canes (which I used a plastic coat hanger to draw, haha), on construction paper and decorated with markers and stickers. Not a lot of staying power, but adorable nonetheless. It was SO FUN. We put on just our collection of Snoopy ornaments and she loved it so much, it really got me more into the spirit than I’ve been feeling. I’m turning 40 shortly AND I’m pregnant and sick and tired. But now I have a lovely lit tree and she is delighted and it’s better.
Christmas does seem more undoable this year – I hadn’t put it all together, but yes. I think your idea of re-doing traditions is the perfect approach; it provides celebration without forcing tasks that seem inappropriate or overly exhausting.
But, I’m having a hard time getting buy-in from my family to re-do the most undoable of our traditions. My family is all adults (parents and grown children), and yet a gift-giving orgy is still the centerpiece of our Christmas Day celebration. I love exchanging gifts in general, but this task of picking out surprise gifts for half a dozen other adults who can buy themselves whatever they want feels impossible – we’re fortunate enough that we’ve bought for ourselves or already gift-given everything we want, so we’re about at the point of needlessly wasting money just for the sake of having something under the tree. This is the opposite of joyous – it’s stressful and exhausting and just plain undoable, at a time when no one needs more stress or exhaustion or undoable tasks. And the thing is, the family agrees that it’s become undoable. But when I suggest scaling down the gift-giving (maybe draw names or something), the response is “but what are we going to do to celebrate on Christmas Day if we’re not opening gifts?”
So here’s my question, wise Swistle and insightful readers – suggestions for alternate Christmas Day activities? What do half a dozen adults do on Christmas Day other than open endless gifts, or sit on the couch staring at each other in boredom? (Apologies if I’m hijacking the thread here – I’m desperate, and I know Swistle and readers are always so smart on these kinds of issues!)
Anyone play an instrument? Sing/play Christmas carols?
Watch Christmas movies?
Build gingerbread houses? (From a kit?) This is weirdly successful for us.
Volunteer?
Go for a drive to an area that is really done up in Christmas lights/decorations?
Looking forward to reading more suggestions.
We scaled back by alternating drawing a name out of a hat so each person gets one gift or doing a Chinese Auction (where you pick a gift out of the pile or steal from another). It maintains the feel of sitting around the tree but scales back on the gluttony. We keep the dollar limit high ($50-100) so it’s not crap. The Chinese auction is fun and we declare the giver of the most stolen gift the “winner” so everyone tries to bring something desirable. It’s more fun than the gift orgy and you usually come home with something you don’t have to regift.
I was going to suggest a similar thing: there are many ‘games’ that can be played around giving gifts. We often play one with 2 dice, where each number means something (1 = unwrap a gift, 2 = take a gift from the person on your left, 3 = take a gift from the person on your left and give it to the person on your right, etc.). Easily keeps you going for a few hours :)
We don’t actually do the gift-things on Christmas, so after Christmas breakfast/brunch we usually do boardgames, go for a walk, read books and drink wine, and then it’s time for dinner already :)
We are a xmas boardgame family as well! My mom (or in more recent years, I) buy a new board game or other multi-player game that we play while drinking prosecco all afternoon :D
Bake? Play games? Decorate something that hasn’t already been decorated? Make art? Everyone buy themselves a thing that can be shared in an entertaining manner? Sleep in, wander in when ready, sit around reading with festive music on and nibbling on something normally deemed too sweet for breakfast, exchange smaller number of gifts, do things with them, go for a walk, cook, eat, watch a movie? My family (five adults) still goes with the big pile of gifts–which still works reasonably because some of us don’t have the money to buy the things we want but can eek out enough for materials for homemade things of high enough quality for presents. Besides the presents though, we tend to have a sort of slow meandering day just hanging out with each other in a relaxed way with food and lights. One year the cook fell asleep and we decided to hold off on Christmas dinner until the next day and I got to try out my fancy new pan making something quick and lovely. Everyone was happy with that. It’s all very relaxed, and we love it. (There’s still soooo much prep though, one way and another.)
Play board games?
Do Christmas crafts?
I second gingerbread house making, that is a lot of fun
My siblings and I plus our husbands and wives (13 total) draw names and do an exchange with a $30 limit. We started about 8 years ago, and it’s still fun. We still buy our parents gifts as well. Some people are more challenging to buy for than others, but I like a good challenge. If I had to buy for everyone…just…no.
As for the rest of Christmas, we hang out, eat, play games and get drunk. We play Win, Lose or Draw every year and it’s guys v. girls. It gets heated, but it’s one of my favorite traditions in life.
We eat. Then nibble. Then eat again. (I’m being totally accurate, by the way. We have brunch, nibble all day, then have Christmas dinner.)
We also go for a walk in the back forty at one point. There is often a puzzle worked on. But talking and eating and drinking tea and coffee is our thing.
If people still want to open something, what about drawing names to do stockings? Lots of small stuff there instead of one big gift? Or everyone brings one small item (max $10) for each other person’s stocking?
I wonder if a Yankee Swap (I’ve heard it called other things too, but I forget what, and there are TONS of variations for the rules) might be just the thing: it makes fewer presents last longer, and turns it into a game. Downside: if people don’t go into it with the right attitude (which I’d define as “I’m not likely to get anything I want; I resolve that I will buy for myself the thing I wanted but didn’t get”), things can go south. It helps if you have a bossy/friendly person in your family who can be like “LISTEN UP PEEPS. HERE’S HOW THIS IS GOING TO GO DOWN”—ahead of time and on the day. You can make it themed (all booze, all small luxuries, all things the person themselves would want to receive, all foods, all ornaments, etc.) or not, silly or not, assigned (people draw slips to say whether they should bring a serious or gag gift) or not. I’d pick one of the variations that goes on for many rounds of grabbing and swapping, and then end with a champagne toast, a Christmas movie, Christmas Bingo, and singing to Christmas songs from people’s childhoods (maybe everyone can bring one or two songs and they can be put on a Spotify list or mix tape or whatever, depending on the family’s tech level).
I like it best when it’s “The most useful thing you own or found out about for under $30, that no one else knows about.” For me this would be food prep gloves, a melon baller, parchment paper, and Glad Press and Seal. People know about them, but I use them FOR EVERYTHING.
My mom would probably say her electric kettle.
My dad would say the dish drain and drip pan he uses under the sink in his bathroom to hold the cleaning supplies.
White elephant! With all adults, you can really find some funny things. I have given a french horn-lamp, a “hands-free phone” (phone that’s strapped around your head) and a well-loved murder mystery jigsaw puzzle with wine. Stealing the wacky or coveted presents is fun and leads to a lot of laughter.
Another idea is minute to win it games or card games such as rummy or up and down the river. We gamble with quarters, too.
There are so many good ideas here.
My family has always enjoyed watching Christmas movies, visiting light displays and playing board games (though our big tradition is Thanksgiving bingo), but I think an afternoon of baking and decorating cookies would be a lot of fun. It could be as complicated or as simple (Pillsbury log!) as you want it to be, and if you provide a few tins, everyone can bring home their leftovers and feel like they are coming away with a little present.
I was also going to suggest a Yankee Swap gift game. That way you only need to buy one gift (or one gift per person in your immediate family) instead of one for everyone in your extended group.
Maybe also some easy board games? Or card games? Dominoes? Spyfall is a game that you play entirely through your phone, for free — your phone gives you a location, and you ask each other questions to try to suss out who is the spy and doesn’t know the location. I’ve also seen online where people make up trivia games about their family members and all play together. Although that may be more work than you are wanting to do. Celebrity is another great game I love to play, and all it requires is pens and paper.
Or maybe have a Christmas movie marathon — the cheesier, the better. Encourage talking over the movie.
So this might tie into the Yankee Swap idea, but what about instead of gifts-you do a swap of Christmas ornaments. My husband’s work does this at their Christmas party, and believe me-it takes FOREVER! So you all buy a ornament, wrap it and put it under the tree. Draw numbers, and you start-when it’s your turn you can either pick a new ornament, or grab someone else’s. If you grab another person’s, then they pick another from under the tree.
I love games, Yahtzee and Scrabble being favorites. We always watch White Christmas, that is a tradition. Listening to carols, eating breakfast, chatting, or going for a nice long walk together.
Thanks for all the great suggestions everyone – this gives me a lot of ideas to work with!
You totally didn’t ask, so unsolicited but…
I recommend making mini 3D snowflakes. My kids (and I) love making these. We decorate for Hanukkah with them, but I think they’d look adorable on a tree. You’d want to make them really mini — like, use one cut up piece of paper for all 6 arms — because if you use 6 normal pieces of paper, it’s huge. But these give me tons of joy and even pretty young kids can do them well. And feel artistic/accomplished. Instructions here (if you haven’t done it before):
http://www.instructables.com/id/3D-Paper-Snowflake-In-Four-Easy-Steps/
Pipe cleaner is fast magic for making ornaments. Red and white bent in half and twisted make ridiculously easy candy canes. Glitter glue turns construction paper into something special. If you have any extra school pictures, or just feel like printing one of each kid, photo ornaments are a lot of fun. We still love the ones from a long time ago.
I like your homemade ornaments idea. Sometimes something new is refreshing. Also, what kind of chocolate ornaments do you buy?
Let’s see, I got the ornaments at HomeGoods, and they are Fine Hollow Chocolates. Hm. Oh, here’s something: “Made in Germany by Riegelein Gmbh & Co.”
Between our first year in a Real House and our first year with a baby (as well as a healthy dose of still being in complete denial about the election) I have found I am Super Into Christmas this year. Photocards for the first year ever, with a cute baby on them! New fake, pre-lit tree purchased! Holiday lights and decorations up all over the house! Cute party dress ordered for baby to go visit Santa in! BRING ON THE TWINKLY LIGHTS AND CELEBRATION (…and keep blinders on re: state of the world. meep.)
We have not done a family picture since the littlest was 6 months (so three years ago), and I swore up and down we would do one this year. So I decided we would brave the (not that) cold and do it Saturday morning in front of a local city tree (my husband takes the pictures with a remote). And now a stomach bug is trudging its way through our family, and I estimate that it will hit the last member right about, oh, Saturday. This is completely indicative of my entire holiday this year.
The biggest problem I have with the holidays is that I can’t let go of things that other people expect of me because nobody expects anything of me (except for presents, obviously). I put the expectations on myself. I want to make it magical and special and Fun for the Whole Family and then life inevitably interferes and I end up feeling really disappointed.
I will also say that this was the first year I looked at our ornaments and said to myself, “Wow, these kind of suck.” I brought a lot of very nice, homemade craft ornaments (think lacework and cross-stitch, not playdough and popsicle sticks) from my childhood to our family, and my husband had almost no ornaments. So I’ve supplemented with stuff the kids made and I tried to start a tradition of getting everyone but me a new ornament every year. But my old homemade ornaments are really starting to wear, some have disappeared, and the stuff I bought for the family has little to no meaning. The kids school ornaments are cheap and falling apart, with reindeer losing eyes and pipe cleaners getting bent out of shape and photos coming unglued from their “frames.” I would like to go through and purge my collection and start a new family tradition, but so far I have few ideas of what would work best for us.
Do you travel? I mentioned above that we buy an ornament on every family trip and it’s totally fun to pull them out at Christmas and go “Oooh, remember when we went to Vermont when Sage was just a baby and got this?”, and “Man, I loved Jamaica that year! Hope we get to go back!” and stuff like that.
“Santa” brought my sibs and I each three new ornaments every year. My mom started a Hallmark collection for us when we were very little – I get Mary’s Angels, and luckily for me they are still going almost 30 years later. My brother got Cinnamon Bears, but once they were discontinued, she just picked something else. There are five of us, so you get the idea. Once she married my stepdad, my two stepbrothers were included as well. On top of our collections, we also get the Hallmark son or daughter ornament, and then an ornament relating to something we like. My brothers would get something sports related, and I have a lot of Wizard of Oz and ballet stuff, etc. Three ornaments per year X seven kids = a very festive and full tree. Once you get married, you get to take your ornaments and put them on your own tree. I got married in September, so this will be my first year with my nice, sentimental ornaments, and I am so excited. Our family Christmas tree is one of my very favorite things in life, so to get to see 31 years worth of memories in my own home every day is so special to me.
My mom also loves receiving ornaments as a gift, and she has no qualms about purchasing ones she loves for herself.
Yes, the decorating can be so pressure-filled. I have abandoned it with glee and freedom. Now I have a tiny tree that lives in the corner of the living room year-round and for Christmas I plug in the lights. Boom. Festive.
One year I put up a regular tree but just put stuff on it: a box of jello, the new-in-package toothbrushes for company, some junk mail, etc. It was sooo trashy and so funny.
It’s funny, I haven’t felt like looking at our ornaments, either. Even my kids haven’t wanted to put ornaments on the tree. At my house, we are all drained from current events.
I saw you mention one of your children likes origami, and that’s what has felt good to me this Christmas. I’m not very good at it, but folding the paper is very relaxing. I made a bunch of those “balloons” (these ones: http://www.wikihow.com/Make-an-Origami-Balloon) and strategically placed them over some of the lights on the tree so they’re like little lanterns. I think they look peaceful. I did some cranes, too. I stuck some in the tree and hung some from a chandelier. I think next I’ll work on a paper chain.