This last week before the election is really hard. I’m going with my Temporary High Stress Coping Plan, which is basically this:
1. Eating lots of things that just SMACK of holy nutrition, such as broccoli and carrots and eggs and bananas and smoothies and yogurt and blueberries and salmon. Making sure I get plenty of protein, because that seems to help. Making sure I eat nice big quantities, because a full stomach is comforting: I think it triggers a biological “everything is okay” feeling. Hunger causes stress, as it ought to for survival purposes.
2. Having on hand any edibles/drinkables that are happy and supportive. Cookies. Vodka. Chocolate bars. Cheese popcorn. Bailey’s Irish Cream. Good dips. Potato chips. Drambuie. Smoked almonds. Get it, gurl.
3. Exercising. It’s good for reducing stress. But it’s hard to do while stress-nauseated and existentially discouraged. So I don’t beat myself up if I can’t make myself do it; I do remind myself that it has been helpful in the past. Sometimes I say to myself, “Listen, just set the treadmill to, like, 1.3 mph and let your feet drag resentfully for five minutes.” Then once I’m ON the treadmill, I start to feel a little better and that makes me crank up the speed. I tell myself I can stop anytime, so that I don’t feel as inclined to rebel.
4. “Everything is going to be all right” music sometimes helps, but I’m not finding it very helpful right now. It feels like a promise no one has the ability to make at this point. I’m leaving it on the list because maybe you are reading this list much later, and applying it to a different sort of stress. In which case I recommend Odds Are by The Barenaked Ladies. Trudee mentioned it in the comments section awhile back, and I’ve been using it as therapy ever since. Also Tonight, Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae: La la la, whatever; la la la, it doesn’t matter; la la la, oh well; it’s all right.
5. Thinking of this as a literal physical illness that will pass. I’ve used this in the past when there’s been a confrontation or stressful situation I can’t stop thinking about, and I’m queasy with adrenaline: I think of it as being sick, and I remember how on other occasions I have felt this way and then recovered. I have to suffer through it for awhile, but it’s not permanent. This is not helping as much right now, when I don’t know on which approximate date to pin my hopes of relief. Election Day? Inauguration Day? A few months after that? Eight years after that? NEVER EVER???? I do think there will be some level of relief when the election is over, even though I am also concerned about the potential aftermath. Just having that day over with may help. If nothing else, it should bring a halt to the RELENTLESS CAMPAIGN ADS.
6. Finding distractions, when possible. Exciting books. Riveting TV series. Good phone games. I downloaded AlphaBetty Saga, which is sort of like Candy Crush and sort of like Scrabble. I’m watching Love, which I’m finding mesmerizing and uncomfortable in a very distracting way. I don’t know yet if I’d recommend it. There’s a lot of crude/naked/awkward.
7. Finding happy evidence of Good Humans, when possible. Museums. Trick-or-treating. Playgrounds. Animal shelters.
8. Finding things to look forward to. I like to think about Thanksgiving recipes, and I’ve deliberately decided not to think about them until November 9th, so that I have something to look forward to. I ordered See’s Candies, which are coming November 8th-11th. If you have the budget room, I suggest ordering/buying a few fun things (a book you’re on the waiting list for at the library; new pjs; sequined shoes) and not letting yourself open/have them until November 9th. Post-election presents, as a reward for surviving.
9. Doing practical things, if any. Sometimes there aren’t any. This time I found it comforting and helpful to do some emergency preparation, which we’re supposed to do anyway. We have a lot of water and canned goods and peanut butter and toilet paper and cat food now. I’ve been trying to keep up on laundry and groceries, as if preparing for a storm that might knock out the power. I also donated money to PlanUSA.org, the local library, and my preferred political candidate. And we can vote. It’s a drop in the bucket, but it IS a drop, and it’s IN THE BUCKET.
I have found the stress of the World Series to be helpful in distracting from election stress. But that will be over tonight and perhaps is only distracting to Cubs/Indians fans. Watching comedies has also been helpful. Rewatching Gilmore Girls, for instance. I have enjoyed Master of None, Catastrophe, Fresh Off the Boat, and Atlanta in particular.
This time next week the election will be over. (Right?) Remembering that helps too and I am treating any post-election pre-worrying with Halloween candy and more comedies.
The new Gilmore Girls episodes are coming out in a few weeks, so that’s something to look forward to.
Thank you for reminding me of the helpful potential of good dips.
Love it.
Team Distraction here! I have some Christmas handwork I’m doing to Netflix, because it doesn’t have any campaign ads! I just loaded some stuff on my Kindle in case I have some downtime before bed. Finally, our high school football team is headed to the playoffs, and that is a huge distraction. We also need to do some shopping this weekend to get my girl ready for her marching band’s trip to Philly to march in their TG parade. Too busy to tune in to the election! Besides, the only control I do have is my vote, and that never takes me long at my polling location. We will have deputies there, and my only decision is do I want to go in before work, or after.
Omg! Swistle mentioned me in her post! :) (Isn’t that song great?! That one and Pinch Me always make me feel better, even given that the latter does happen to be about depression.) If this helps at all, I think your posts are fantastic and full of wisdom and reading them (and the comments) gives me evidence of Good Humans.
I’m Canadian so the vote isn’t one I can participate in. But it impacts us all in some way, so it’s still stressful. Plus I’m currently in toddler + baby hell and not coping well so these are all still helpful. Shipping US products to Canada is usually stupidly expensive so please savour your See’s chocolates a little extra for me!
My husband and I both did early voting at the local registrar’s office, so I now feel like I can legitimately tune out any and all election noise. I’ve cast my ballot & I can’t change it now. Also a double thumbs up to Netflix, Amazon Prime, and Pandora, NO (political) ADS!
This list is making me weepy today. I am so stressed out over this election and the AWFUL AWFUL political beliefs of my family.
Something that’s helping me is thinking about (mostly hypothetical) Christmas gifts I could give to my family that would make me feel better. Like, maybe this year EVERYONE gets a copy of The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander. Or EVERYONE gets something by Ta-Nehisi Coates. Or Roxane Gay. Passive-aggressive gift giving ideas is getting me through.
Hope you’ve read this post. It’s one of the BEST.
Oooh, thanks for the link!
I must say, whenever I can grab faux fur throws at a good price I go for it: my daughter is 10 and they make great birthday gifts for her friends, who all LOVE them.
I am doing this too! The gift giving I mean! I am actively seeking out items made or written or created by women, people of color, and other marginalized groups. Even if the items themselves are sparkly wine glasses or ornaments and there is no way to know it was made by a woman, it is making me feel better to spend my money in that direction.
I have the same gift-giving fantasies! (Excellent book choices, btw.) But then I remember that a lot of people got the way they are by not reading. Like, ever. So those awesome books would not transform the minds of the people who need them the most because the books would never even get cracked open. And then I feel doubly sad.
You are very wise. I am well-stocked on Jelly Belly jellybeans, peanut butter-filled pretzels, wine, vodka and chips/hummus. Beyond that, I’m rewatching random old episodes of Supernatural (I take comfort in the hotness of the actors), MacGyver (the original, though I do enjoy the new version as well) and old horror movies such as Halloween (though these will be harder to find on TV now that we’re into November). Lately I’ve been dealing with a relatively-minor-yet-still-stressful health malady which has finally begun to resolve itself so I’m finding my stress levels are slightly reduced in the last few days…let’s just hope that lasts and I don’t end up right back where I was a month ago. GAH. Hurry up, November 9!
There’s a NEW MACGUYVER?!?
YES!! It’s on CBS and I find it enjoyable and distracting, not too heavy to make you feel nervous, just fun and exciting.
I actually like to watch MacGyver after I’ve watched Quantico (a super engaging spy drama that keeps you guessing and therefore keeps your mind busy). I use MacGyver as a light chaser if a particular episode of Quantico has been intense.
I have been just buying a LOT of stuff. For me it has been helpful that work has been EXTREMELY busy, in an all consuming way, so I really only have the night hours to lie awake and fret. WHY DO WE EVEN HAVE CHILDREN IF THIS IS THE WORLD THAT THEY ARE BORN INTO.
But then I buy a baby cardigan with gnomes on it, and that helps.
I bought plane tickets to DC for the inauguration. They were inexpensive now, and I wager they will be very expensive in one week’s time. I decided that I was doing it as a gesture of FAITH to the UNIVERSE. I BELIEVE, see? I BELIEVE SO MUCH I PUT MONEY INTO BELIEVING. I think it will work.
If it does not work, I have decided that I will be a protestor at the inauguration, civilly disobeying, and that will feel good too.
Tonight, Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae had a weirdly calming effect on my son when he was an infant. I would play it for him, and he would stop his colic-y crying for a few minutes. This son is now 5 and in Kindergarten. Tears, tears, I wouldn’t have believed anybody who told me I would miss all that crying, but from this vantage point, I dooooo
Have you listened to the mitford books by jan karon? I am finding them extra soothing right now.
Hi Swistle, in terms of practical things to do, have you considered volunteering with Get Out The Vote efforts? I was nervous about phone banking but you can do it from home, they give you a script, and the call recipients are screened to be people who are likely to be receptive. There’s evidence that just asking someone about exactly how they plan to vote makes them more likely to vote on the day (or vote early where available). You can also sign up to drive voters to the polls who might otherwise have trouble getting there, etc. Or volunteer at the local GOTV office. I find doing something practical to help is really helping with my stress!
I forgot to mention this in my earlier comment – I found this helpful as well! I volunteered for my state’s Democratic party. It only took two hours and I did phone banking (WHICH, as a phone-phobic person, I thought would be awful but after the first two calls or so it was fine) and now I feel I have done my part to help ensure my preferred outcome. I mean – I USED A PHONE. TO CALL PEOPLE I DON’T KNOW. TO TALK TO THEM ABOUT POLITICS. I live in one of the reddest states in the nation so it’s probably not going to make a huge difference but… the drops, they are in the bucket.
you killed it! Good job.
Trudee and Swistle, thanks for sharing Odds Are! That is excellent and I need that album in my car.
Two movie things to recommend: I recently enjoyed To the Ends of the Earth on Netflix, it’s a short BBC series (3 long episodes) starting Benedict Cumberbatch on a sea voyage to Australia circa 1890.
On Halloween I watched Moonstruck with my kids, it was as wonderful as I remembered.
Foodwise, I want to share how frighteningly easy it is to make cheese dip: http://www.budgetbytes.com/2016/02/5-minute-nacho-cheese-sauce/.
Comfort and hope to one and all!
My husband the redneck, and me the NY Jew, do not agree on politics. At all. He is furious that I am with her. I cannot even discuss it with him so…. he’s wonderful other than that though.
Once again, I am SERIOUSLY BUMMED that you cannot be President, Swistle. It would be INCREDIBLE to have a calm voice of practical wisdom leading the country and GETTING THINGS DONE.
We are planning (hoping for) an election night celebration.
So far the menu includes screwdrivers (for the orange color) and little teenie cocktail weenies, because. And maybe balloons, because they’re full of hot air. I’m nervous about the outcome but still hopeful. I voted, my husband voted, my mom, sibs, and most of my friends have voted already. I am 63 years old and have voted many times, but this was the first time I teared up in the booth.
Election night menu planning! This is something that can keep me occupied for the weekend!
Brilliant.
Also: Don’t Worry Baby, by the Beach Boys, and Let It Be. Old school, but both have helped me be more peaceful in times of stress. It’ll be better soon. It’s gotta be.
I’m growing my hair out so I’ve been searching for and buying pretty scarves but I think I need more yummy snacks. I have a weekend visit with family members with opposing beliefs and I am already dreading it. My new strategy for that is to say in a friendly but firm tone, “We probably won’t agree so why don’t we discuss something more fun like what we’re doing for dinner/ the weather/ how cute the dog is etc…”. Cannot wait until this is over.
I had summer guests, and on the very first day he started slamming on my politics. Within 5 minutes! It wasn’t directed towards me (because he didn’t know my feelings), but it was his go to humor. I held up my hand and said “no, this is my house, and we have very different political viewpoints. I am sure we can agree not to talk about this.”. He respected it for the most part, but the few times he was heading in that direction, I would shake my head and say “we aren’t going there!”.
I teach middle school and we are “actively discouraged from discussing sensitive topics”. So any time it comes up I tell my kids that my classroom is a politics free zone so they’d better find something else to talk about.
If I’m not allowed to tell them that/why they’re being unreasonable/why what they’re saying is NOT FUNNY AT ALL, I don’t want to listen to them be unreasonable/jerks!
I have been hiding from Facebook and ALL news sources (I do a less restrictive news fast all the time, but I’m not surfing Google News at all and am intentionally turning off or blocking out the news elsewhere, too). I’m reading a fun series of books (the Sasha McCandless series, its on Kindle) and I bought myself a Bartlett For America tshirt (from The West Wing). And I’m going to start painting my daughters rooms this week, which will definitely distract me. Less than 1 week to go! We can do this!!
Again, and always, I love you. Having someone else put my feelings into words is such a comfort and one of those ‘good human’ evidences.
I’ve also been enjoying this gift guide (http://www.caitlinhannah.com/blog/) today as a nice distraction.
I’ve also already voted so am really just tuning some things out right now.
Hi, Rachel! I’m so glad that you’ve enjoyed the gift guide. Thank you for sharing!
“Post-election presents, as a reward for surviving.” I LOVE this idea! I think I will implement it immediately.
I think it’s important to think more long term than “just hold on until Tuesday night” because no matter who wins, this election is going to leave a ton of fired-up people around the country virulently livid, and scary stuff might very ensue.
We’ve got to just moderate our own anxieties because it’s not going to stop next week. Yes, self care, delight in small things (pets, random acts of kindness, entertainment), and distractions can be helpful. I also find it helpful to remember that because of the way legislation works in the US, it’s very difficult to get drastic changes in procedure passed. So crazy/scary changes will not happen quickly, or ever.
That said, I totally sympathize; I’m a twice-a-week therapy attendee, and my therapist has said a few times times these last few months that there are many articles coming out about how this year’s nasty, volatile, frightening election season is causing spikes in distress for many people. It’s just an unprecedented, surreal thunderdome.
Yep.
New books from the library. (Janet Evanovich just started a new series, and her previous new series is also quite fun and distracting). Liz Moore has a new book out. Not light, but always good. Deanna Raybourn, if you like Victorian mysteries with several strong female leads. Stephanie Barron. Anything she’s written.
Netflix. We had ditched it lately because we never had time for it, but we’re back in and enjoying a back log of stuff we haven’t seen yet.
No news if I can help it, but lots of outdoor time as I live in the north east and we are enjoying a little reprieve from yucky weather. Soaking up all the fresh air I can before winter hits.
Podcasts. Malcolm Gladwell’s new podcast, Revisionist History, was one I had on tap a long time before I started it as sometimes I’m just not in a Malcolm Gladwell mood. But, this was great. Also, Michael Ian Black’s How to Be Amazing, Lore, and One Bad Mother.
Thank you for this series Swistle. I too stocked up on emergency supplies. Donated to PlanUSA.org, my candidate of choice, and have a placed a series of small orders from various websites all arriving at different times. Keeping things lively as possible.
I’m personally planning to binge watch The Crown once it comes out on Netflix on Friday. I also just straight up gave up Facebook and am only checking my largely non-political Instagram for the next several weeks.
Thank you for this post for many reasons! I did a volunteer orientation tonight and that made me feel much better. And, as one earlier commenter said, there’s still baseball. And then there’s “Bloodline” and “This is Us” to catch up on. Good luck to all of us.
Hey Swistle,
You Send Me by Roy Ayers (sp)
Give this one a listen. It’s a soothing remake that I listen to all the time.
Bonus : It reminds me of the HS boyfriend. sigh.
You are the best! I think I’d like to sit down with you over a glass of wine and discuss all things elections :)
I have very similar coping strategies. I am avoiding all news/analysis now that things seem to be going in a wrong direction. I’m treating myself to a few special/favorite foods. I’m trying to watch soothing TV shows (for me Modern Family does it for the comedy and old school court room and/or murder dramas are my drama of choice (as silly as it sounds I find shows like Matlock and Perry Mason and Diagnosis Murder very comforting—I am not 90, but I act like it!) I seek out polls, but only those that make me think things are going to be OK. I also spend a lot of time thinking about the electoral map and how many states my candidate can lose and still win.
I have an election day tradition which includes buying a bottle of champagne and a bottle of vodka. I drink the vodka to take the edge off on election night and then I switch the the champagne if my candidate wins. I also take the following day off. :) I order pizza from a place that I love and that is a 25 minute drive from my house.
It will all be over in 6 days, I hope. And I am hopeful that we’ll have the outcome that I think will be the best. I think that part of the issue with me is that I really like and respect our current president. So it is a bit sad that he’s finished.
Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles. There’s a sassy cover of it on Youtube by Nikki Bluhm that is very soothing.
Also it may be too late for this (OR NOT), but when the campaign started, I used a word replacer app on Google Chrome to replace the word Donald with Lord, and the word Trump with Voldemort. It makes reading the news a tiny bit more bearable but still scary.
Just reading these comments here made me stressy as all get out.
For example, and I know I’m in the political minority just reading these comments, but I really hate that someone called her husband a redneck because of his political belief. (Of course I’m in the deep south and am certain I have the same beliefs so I guess I’ll own my redneck-edness)
I have never been so stressed during an election. I truly hate the ugliness of it all. there is a local candidate here that uses a clip in one of their ads of Trump mocking the disabled reporter. I have seen that clip at least 100 times and makes me sick every time. But I am not sure who I am angriest at about forcing me to see that clip over and over – the local candidate who is running the ad to discredit her opponent for supporting Trump or her opponent who never disavows anything Trump does.
I don’t think election night will be a relief. I think, whoever wins, it is the beginning of even more ugliness and less effective government.
As for coping with stress, I have been binge watching the Arrow with my husband. We can’t agree on politics but we can enjoy that story together. And I do appreciate the fact that women in that show are every bit as mart and strong as the men.
Bizarrely, I just saw an article about Ebola and it reminded me about that terrible time, and how stressful it was, and how I had to insulate myself from a lot of the news coverage in order to function, which reminded me of this thread. So I guess the takeaway is, at least this election isn’t as bad as Ebola? Yay?
That totally reminds me of when I was in college. We had an intensive quantitative chemistry class that was crammed into 4 weeks. 4 hrs of lecture in the morning, 4 hrs of lab in the afternoon, plus homework and exams each week. Every time we’d start to whine a bit, our professor would say “Remember! At least we’re not in Chechnya!” and we’d have to repeat it. (This was 1998, so that crisis was going on).
Omgosh, count me among the severely distressed abt this election. It’s in my mind a lot and the closer we get, the more I want to cry and vomit.
There are some good tips here. I’m already avoiding the news but I’ll employ some of the techniques and coping mechanisms.
It does help to know I’m not alone. There are others who are also very stressed over this and can’t wait for it to be over and I hope that once the frenzy passes we can all breathe a breath of fresh air, remember who we are and work together.