I have some frets to vent. They are all small. I sense Paul has reached his limit for small-fret-listening, and yet I still have fretting to do, and so here we are.
I am supposed to get my hair cut tomorrow, after months spent REALLY REALLY wanting to cut it shorter and being VERY tempted to just cut off big chunks of it myself and FINALLY getting around to making the phone call and then LONGING for the appointment to be sooner and waiting impatiently for it to arrive. I was thinking of something between chin and shoulder. And now I am chickening out. I’ve had my hair longish for a long enough time now that I am not sure what I DO with it when it is shorter. Also I am nervous she will hurt the new piercing. I worked myself into a very silly panic about the whole thing, where I was spinning around thinking “AAAAGGGGHH the embarrassment of cancelling!!!” vs. “AAAAAGGGGHHH not sure I want it shorter!!!”—until I realized I could just go to the appointment and have her take an inch off and avoid BOTH unpleasant outcomes. Now I feel less panicky but am back to thinking, “But should I get it cut shorter? I’ve really been sick of washing it and brushing it and dealing with it lately. And it’ll grow back out, if I regret it. But I don’t know what I do with it when I don’t twist it into a quick bun.” I wish hair-growth were more adjustable, so that it could stay put when we have a great cut, or grow ultra-fast if we regret one.
My new piercing is itchy. It is a little bit swollen and a little bit pink, and I have been searching online for information about infection, but it is not meeting the standards for that: it looks as if this is “irritation” rather than “infection.” The information I’m finding is soothingly condescending, like “You have to realize you have put a foreign object into your body, and your body’s job is to get rid of it. Have patience and give your body time to adjust.” But this itchy tenderness is making me even less want a hair cut: I’ve been pulling my hair way away from the piercing, and if it’s shorter I have to re-figure-out all my ways of doing that. (I can always just have her take an inch off. I can always just have her take an inch off. It will grow back. It will grow back.)
My weight keeps going up. I don’t really want to talk about it more than that. I just want to let you know that that is one of my fret clouds right now.
I’m taking the two older boys with me on a trip to see my parents, and the fretting about air travel has begun. What if the check-in takes forever. What if we miss our connection. What if it’s so tight that we have to do one of those panicked-dashes-for-the-gate AND we lose the earlier-boarding-for-a-better-seat we paid extra for and we all end up in middle seats in separate rows. What if I accidentally bring something I’m not supposed to bring. What if they don’t believe me that my 6’3″ child is a minor, and they demand to see his ID. What if I forget something. Soothing techniques: Remembering it has all gone fine in the past, even when things have gone wrong. Remembering that anything I might accidentally forget is almost certainly something I can re-purchase. Remembering that I always get all worked up, and then when I’m actually traveling I wonder why I got so worked up when it’s not really that big a deal. Adding “student ID” and “copy of birth certificate” to list.
I have a lot of errands to do before I go. Some of them are things I need to acquire for the trip or handle for the trip; others are things I need to do/acquire for the household I’ll be leaving behind. I tend to get overly worked up about both lists, feeling as if all those things MUST be done or LORD HELP US ALL. When actually, Paul could go to the store for milk, and I could buy saline in my parents’ town; and if it REALLY came to it, I could pay $1/pill for Dramamine at the airport.
There. I think that’s all. I sit ready to listen to your fret-venting now, if you like.
I am mid-fret too. Some are big and some are small.
Big: husband and I need to massively reconfigure our budget and be Very Mindful of Spending for a while. I am worried that we will misstep someplace and end up living in this crappy apartment for the rest of our lives.
Big/Small: Husband travels for work. Weekly. There is a whole subcategory of frets here
Medium: Leaving for a beach vacation in three days. Renting a house with Husband’s family, whom I love. What if we can’t stand each other after 10 days in a house together. We have traveled together before, we all still love each other
Small: Using a new petsitter for this trip. What if it all goes Wrong.
Small: What if we forget something vital for this trip? (Inconsequential…we’re renting a house in Delaware. We can buy anything we need, with the exception of the kids’ special snuggle friends, which we have established protocols for.
Small:
I’m getting married on September 24th. Yesterday, I sent my mom and fiance an email with the subject “Giant List of Shit We Still Need”…so things are going well.
Perfect post for today for me. Sleeping has been difficult lately, due to fretting, I guess. So there’s the first fret – am I turning into my mother, who spent her last 30 years or so telling me that she couldn’t sleep? Or maybe, just maybe:
1 – It’s the beginning of a new school year (I’m a teacher – what will my class be like this year? My new teammate? The stupid things the district will make us do?)
2 – I have child who will soon be a senior (Which college? Which major? Which money? Wait – what money?!?)
3 – Her brother, who didn’t make it through his first year at a 4 year college, is now at community college, and can’t be motivated to get a job (any job – just put away the damn screens)
and 4 – A husband who opened a business last year, which is so beyond my level of comfort, and is not yet turning a profit and he is venting about employees, when, duh, I told you it would suck to run a business!
Thanks for letting me lay in bed and vent with you!
38.5 weeks pregnant is probably not the wisest time to open up about frets. For example, I just spent the past 2 hours reasonably sure my baby had died since she skipped her daily 6:30am in-utero dance party, so you know, very rational over here at the mo. (Just felt her flop over to the other side of my belly. Am sure she’s fine. Hormones are awesome.)
Try tea tree oil on your piercing. Mine was like that for several months and nothing else I tried helped. The tea tree oil cleared it up in about two days.
Swistle, SO MANY VENTS/FRETS. I did the big pre-school vent on my blog already this morning. But we are also having my in-laws stay with us for a week (start date unknown!) so I am fretting about that. And some minor (hopefully) health concerns. And – well, this is more grump than fret – the deer continue to eat the vegetables I’ve spent all summer growing, just as they are getting to the point where they MIGHT ripen and/or produce fruit.
I really love the idea of adjustable hair growth. LOVE.
And pre-travel frets are so yucky. Does it help to tell you that I recently traveled across the country and dealt with all the things you are worrying about and it DID turn out fine? It was all a big pain in the rear, but it all worked out.
I don’t know if we’re supposed to let you vent and not say anything or say things, but I do have a strategy for the hair cut! You should go and tell the stylist about your frets! Generally I have found that they are very good with indecisiveness, and sometimes I think they are secretly itching to offer feedback about what they think would look good on a person. (If it, after all, quite literally their job to make people look good.)
Also I have had all manner of air travel calamity befall me (well, maybe not ALL manner, but you know what I mean), and the secret is always to be calm, polite, and relentless with airline employees. Sometimes you have to talk to three or four people before you find the person who can do the magic thing that gets you where you need to be. (Often it’s good to look for your airline’s little “customer service” desk thingy in the terminal, if they have one.) Sometimes it helps if you say, “Well, I am going to airport A, but I could swing airport B too, if that’s an option.” They have lots of secret tricks available, including sometimes just straight-up booking you on another airline. Except for in extremely rare situations (massive hurricane, terrorist attacks, etc.) the worst thing that happens is you have to get a hotel for the night and then go the next day. You will be fine! And your boys will love traveling by plane!
Also if I’m doing the math correctly, the younger of your two oldest boys is around 14 or 15. When I was 14 I flew by myself (including changing planes once) to a completely unfamiliar summer camp. So it seems likely that your boys would be able to occupy themselves for a flight if you all get separated. (Maybe just make sure each boy’s carry-on bag has his own entertainment things and some snacks?)
I’m more thinking about the loss of “being able to get up and pee without having to ask a stranger to wake up and move, and being able to sit in the middle seat without worrying about my arm brushing a stranger’s arm” aspect, for myself. It was one of the reasons I wanted to bring TWO kids: we can have a whole three-seat chunk to ourselves!
Lol. That is the reason I only travel if both my sons are available to vacation with me. The older I get the more I am averse to touching or even getting close to strangers. Don’t even go to the movies any more.
Responses definitely welcome! I forget to say so, but that’s my default. That’s a good idea about the haircut. My stylist is nice and laid-back and is good with my fretting.
I love “calm, polite, and relentless.”
On traveling and forgetting things: the things i pack FIRST are things I cannot repurchase (ie: prescription meds, specialty things that are super expensive or hard to find quickly). Doing them first (and i mean they go INTO THE BAG first so that they are no way no how forgotten) clears some of that anxiety.
Scattered seats – is that a super big deal? Yes no one wants to do that, but I thought your kids are all old enough to at least handle this for a flight? Can you take that off the fret list, now that they are older?
I don’t have any venting to do, but I always hate to see people fret when maybe they could get some frets out of the way.
No, not a super-big deal—just a small fret. When they were little, it would have been a huge fret.
Ah! What good timing!
1. I need to make a doctor appointment to discuss medications. Dread.
2. I need to have my teeth cleaned, and I need to remember to get a one-time antibiotic for that appointment. Dislike/dread.
3. I’ve been avoiding the scale because I’ve been eating a lot of ice cream. Dread.
Thanks for listening, Swistle and friends :)
Confession is good for the soul, apparently. Just scheduled my Dr appointment after re-reading my post and realizing I CAN DO SOMETHING TO FEEL BETTER. Ha!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8tKKV-5MEg
Swistle, just as for the “Dolly Surprise” haircut ;)
This is everything I want in hair. I would use a genie wish on this. (I would get it for everyone, not just me. Makes the wish-use feel more worth it.) (Also maybe we could change hair COLOR just as easily. That might be EVEN MORE AWESOME. SOMEONE FIND ME A GENIE LAMP.)
That’s very altruistic of you; I will accept that offer. It would make hair appointments longer but more fun, I think! Swistle Surprise!
Ha ha! I’m the same way! One of my favorite things about venting/complaining is that it seems to MOTIVATE me!
May you find some actions to relieve some of the frets.
A haircut is usually a relief and even better after you wash it and do it yourself the next day or so. I recommend getting a real cut, not just 1″. Do tell the haircutter about your ear and about your length concerns. She should be able to accommodate and advise
I forgot to add that I am always on #TeamHaircut. I chop mine every two or three years and I love it. Between chin and shoulders should still give you enough length for a low pony as long as the front isn’t super short. It will be small, but cute. I have many, many friends who never, ever change their hairstyle and that seems very boring to me.
Here is one thought on the haircut thing: I go between having long hair and having short hair frequently and when it’s shorter (chin to shoulder length) washing it is AMAZING. It’s so light and easy to care for! When my hair is much longer, I basically feel like a mermaid every time I wash it. It is everywhere. It takes 12 hours to dry. It gets Hot and Damp in the summer. I find a thousand long hairs everywhere. Etc.
YES, this is what’s driving me crazy right now! Huge heavy wet hair down my back in the shower! Masses of conditioner! The long hairs EVERYWHERE. (Why are there so many MORE when they’re LONGER??) Having to braid it at night or else it’s in my way when I’m trying to sleep. ARG.
Yay, open mic night for stressors! So, my husband decided that he’s sick of his job (this has been coming for a while), so we decided that this year is the year to find something new. We’ve up and sold our house, and R hasn’t quit yet, but he and I are actively looking while he lives with a coworker in Former State and I and our kids have moved in with my parents in Location We Are Looking In. They are awesome and wonderful and I am so lucky to have them. And my Dear Sainted Mother(TM) is driving me insane. I really feel like I can’t parent at all the way I want to, because every time I turn around, she’s giving them more snacks and treats and ALL THE SCREENTIME they could ever want, even though I’m more along the lines of “no iPads after 10 am, and maybe a movie in the afternoon”/”it’s healthy for kids to be bored once in a while.” My DSM is also not very disciplined and kind of an enabler for bad decisions, liking eating less than healthy stuff and spending too much money, so I’m really concerned about trying to stay strong and make good decisions myself (since I know I’m both an emotional eater and inclined toward retail therapy when I’m stressed, which is ALL THE TIME lately). I’ve been trying to figure out what to do about school for my kids, since we could literally move again any time, but probably not for months. I’ve considered homeschool, since they start school in literally a week here and the whole summer has been so full of moving that we’ve done absolutely nothing fun, but see above with my mom’s lack of discipline and my inability to parent the way I like. I can’t really expect much help, and probably more than a little hindrance.
Also, my Loving, Wonderful Parents, Whom I Love and who are always willing to help EVERYONE with ALL THE PROBLEMS has also let my brother and his wife and their FOUR dogs (one of which is a little demon rat thing that I’m SO CLOSE to kicking, and one of which is a pit bull, which my mom is terrified of letting my kids near even though he’s the laziest creature on the planet) move in with them this summer too, since they can’t find a place to live that will take their dogs, even though we made arrangements with them first. And every morning I can’t help but think that last time my husband was looking for a job it took us 9 months—literally my entire pregnancy with Oldest—to find something. I’m so tempted to find us an apartment, but then we lose the cost savings of living rent free, but THIS SITUATION COULD LAST FOREVER, PEOPLE. (On that note, if anyone knows a headhunter that specializes in engineering, please, please tell me!)
“Open mic night for stressors” made me lol
Not sure what your preferred area is, but my brother in law works for a company that helps place employees and engineering is one of their industries! http://www.aerotek.com
I’ll have to look at that one! Thank you!
Hair: If you go a squidge past shoulder length it is still long enough to put up into a quick bun, with just a few pieces hanging out and on your neck. You can also do a nice easy pony where you don’t pull the pony all the way through and it’s a little bun-like knob. I dont know what your hair texture is but as long as it’s not stick straight, I air-dry and use a little leave in, either alterna caviar cc or bumble & bumble don’t blow it – and it’s almost easier than putting it up.
Piercing: When my belly piercing is a little irritated Dial anti-bacterial soap is great.
I love the word squidge.
Having just traveled by air twice in two months, after NOT traveling by air for the past EIGHT YEARS, I relate very much to those particular frets! It will all go fine but I HEAR YOU so much.
My current small frets are as follows: Where did my now-7th-grader put the locker shelf I bought him last year? Or did he just leave it there? School starts next week. Also, WHY won’t the mom from whom I’m buying 3rd grade textbooks (used), respond to ANY email, text, message I send her? Do I really have to CALL HER UP? REALLY? Why is my stupid skin acting like a teenager with splotchy, dry, discolored nonsense happening? Do I need Vanishing Cream?! Has it come to that now? Night Cream is not enough??
Oh thank dog, a place where I can fret without driving H completely insane! So many frets large and small. Small: I have to schedule doctor’s appointments for myself and kids (this is not insurmountable, I just don’t want to do it. BLEH). Kids are going to the beach with my inlaws next week and will possibly either tear each other apart or make my inlaws totally nuts and certainly will be allowed too much screen time, snacks, and dessert (they will survive, I fret anyway).
Medium: there is one second grade teacher who would be a disaster for Youngest to have, what if she gets put in her class? (Youngest’s 1st grade and K teachers and principal are all well aware this would be a disaster and the chances of her being assigned there are small and if she is, we go to battle – soothing/not soothing thoughts)
Big: we are remodeling our kitchen starting in early September. We have no definite start date yet, we haven’t finally decided on anything but the general design and cabinets, we have packed up zero % of our kitchen and every time I mention we should get started H pooh poohs me like it’s too early. WE HAVE SO MUCH CRAP TO PACK UP, why aren’t we starting? Where is it all going to go? How long is this remodel going to take? What if it’s a disaster? Oh god, it’s costing $$. So much fretting (I trust our architect/project manager implicitly, it will be fine, we will all survive and if it’s really crap we’ll eat out all the time and deal with it). FRET
Current frets:
In a walking boot temporarily because of mystery pain in my foot that I thought was a foot cramp, but may be a fracture. Why, yes, I DO walk a mile from the train station to my office and another mile back 2 days a week. AND these two days are the most restful days of my week because the other 5 I am with my 3 kids (6, mischievous 3.5, and can’t-be-reasoned-out-of-her-deathwish 2 year old girls).
I have cleaned five giant trash bags of stuff that I could sell at a garage sale. I hate interacting with people, but the cash would be nice. GAH
We are going on a weekend away with the kids and we will all be sleeping in the same hotel room. Will we sleep at all this weekend?
Husband is closing up shop on his business and being hired in October. This makes me unreasonably anxious. He says he will have to travel 1 week a month, but will be home all weekends. Currently, he is putting in 80+ hours a week including nights and weekends. The children are consistently surprised when he is home for dinner. (There are five plates, mommy! Who is coming over?) I will have to find a babysitter for the times he is gone.
I messed something up bank wise and, though the fees will be reversed, my balance currently shows an ELEVEN THOUSAND DOLLAR negative balance. (Check was in my daughter’s name with my name as a guardian for medical bills, I deposited check in my account and paid bills 3 days later without realizing you cannot deposit a check for a minor child unless that child also has an account at the bank. I had to CALL the bank, talk with many people, and firmly advocate for fee reversal….just….GAH).
I feel ancillary stress about the negative balance. DEEP BREATHS.
Yay! I need a fret place! I share hair and weight frets. My weight is creeping up and it is already up there. And I am exercising, so it must be the eating. And stress. My hair is long and some days I want to chop it shorter, chin or shoulder length, but some days I like it. Most hate days. But I worry about short hair and chubby face, will it accent my recent pounds?
More frets – Oldest daughter going off to college 7+ hrs away from home. I’m feeling anxious/sad about her leaving. She is feeling anxious about getting ready and school. I am trying to help her without adding my anxiety or making me worry more.
Four other kids starting school next week, so supplies, clothes, stress of reentering into schedule and rush, plus testing, back to school, stuff.
I don’t feel very happy or satisfied with my life at the moment. I think a part time job would help but also worry about adding more to my fretful/anxiety filled life. I just know being at home and not organising, cleaning, making home life grand, is not working. I feel stuck and grumpy.
Thanks, Swistle!
We’re leaving on a week-and-a-half trip on Saturday and I have too much work to fit into what’s left of the week and I really don’t want to leave the house in its current state because 1) I don’t want to come back to it like this and 2) It will be mildly embarrassing for the cat-sitter to see it.
Frets? Why yes, I have a few. One might be that The Husband is talking to me as I type, which makes it difficult to articulate them at the moment…
As to the hair issue – yes talk to your stylist, this is their chosen field and if they are competent, they should be able to help.
Whenever I’m fretting about packing/forgetting to pack something, I always remember this line from “Coal Miners Daughter” : Anything we can’t buy, we’ll make. Anything we can’t make, we’ll steal!
If you cut your hair closer to shoulder, you should still be able to put it in a ponytail and a low bun, so maybe that’s a good compromise? I cut all mine off last winter, started growing it back and then cut it off again today. I would love to have a Chia Pet head.
I am fretting today over a presentation I have to give tomorrow for a job that could set me up for the next 6 months. Will I forget to bring something? Not know where to park? Forget to say something vital? Will I get asked a question I can’t answer? Will they hate my presentation? Ugh, so many frets I wish I had skipped coffee this morning. The funny thing is I have done this enough times that all of those things have happened to me and I managed to still be alive and breathing today.
Something that has reduced my anxiety is Uber! I always worry about my car not starting (past history of old cars) or not being able to find it at the mall, or losing my keys, or whatever. Now I tell myself I can get home, no matter what, and I am much more comfortable when I am out and about.
Large: 38 weeks preg. Just want to be done with work, baby birthed and sleeping in my arms.
Small: 2.5 yr old is crying and wants another show but it is bed time and I am tired. Bedtime! No more shows! Trying to get through last bit of day without wrecking it with yelling.
Good luck to everyone with their frets.
This is timely as I was going to Tweet you to warn you that even after warning and pointing out my cartilage piercing to beauticians when getting my hair cut, they ALWAYS manage to snag it and yank the earring right out when they comb my hair. I now just take out the earring and avoid all the issues.
Hair fretting: We moved recently and I had to leave my trusted stylist. First attempt at finding a new person was a disaster. Hair completely wrong color and weirdly fried so that 1/3 of my long bangs broke off and now just stick straight out from my head in the most unfortunate way possible. I want the color fixed but am terrified of trying again and possibly further destroying my hair. I can’t seem to make myself make the appointment, but can it really look any worse?
Also, almost 30 weeks pregnant so I’ve reached the point where my body/weight feel genuinely completely out of my control, which I dislike. Also getting close enough to actual birth to have to think about some of the inevitable unpleasantness that all involves, even though yay baby of course, but still.
Temporary bandaid over piercing to prevent comb snagging?
Before I delve into my frets: I have to say that you are right to worry about your piercing and a hair cut. (I’m sorry). I have two hoops high up on my ear, (and have for 20 years) and almost every time I get a haircut, the comb snags one and yanks it out. Hoops are obviously prime for that, and it has never actually injured my ear, but for 15 years I have removed my piercings before I get my hair cut. So I am fretting on your behalf about it.
I have recently moved, and still cannot find anything. And the mental real estate it takes to just find things is HUGE and takes all my ooomph that I would need to do something. And the doors are different and don’t auto close, so the kids have left them open and we have two elderly indoor cats who aren’t safe outside. So then when the door is left open I have to go find the cats and make sure they are inside but I don’t know their hiding spaces in this new house. Fret fret feet.
And I need a haircut but that means finding a new hair person and I hate doing that. I always feel very awkward and drowned rat unattractive. So I am probably going to just grow out my hair so I don’t have to deal with it. Ugh.
And old house hasn’t sold and that’s a big fret.
And I get panicky thinking about it. So.
Next fret is air travel for me too, and leaving our pets for the first time with new pet sitter.
Fret fret fret.
So, as you’ve discussed possible jobs for yourself, one job that came to mind recently was to be some kind of analyst since you are naturally a person who analyzes situations and people very well and also communicates your conclusions well. And then when reading your post today it reminded me of the position of being a risk analyst. Not sure if it would actually work as far as finding something in your area, being flexible for family needs etc but it seemed like something you could possibly enjoy doing and would be very good at.
So, so many little frets and big frets right now.
My oldest begins kindergarten Monday (yes, Monday!) This is giving me all sorts of frets (will I get in trouble for parking and walking her to class, how long will parking and walking take, did I seem overeager by being the first person to sign up for all the volunteer things on the website, did I violate some protocol by volunteering to bring ALL the boxes of band-aids on the classroom wishlist rather than just signing up for two boxes, will my daughter be crushed that I can’t make her first family reading day because my youngest has a mandatory preschool meeting, etc.) Also, I only just got the school supplies list, which made me frantic to go out and buy, buy, buy and I spent WAY too much money (mostly on new clothes for her, most of which don’t even fit quite yet because I couldn’t justify purchasing more in her current size). Damn Target and their stupid $5 kids clothes. I also managed to find the most expensive backpack and expensive pencil box around, which were of course the ones my daughter wanted, immediately and irrevocably. I’ve more or less made my peace with the overspending I’ve done, but of COURSE there’s always something I forgot, or Just One More Thing we don’t actually need but that I’d LIKE to buy for her. Or for me. All this money fretting seems necessary because …
We just spent quite a lot for me to get laser eye surgery. After four or five years of my doctor suggesting it and me deferring, I decided it was time, it took a sizeable chunk out of our end of summer (did I mention school starts Monday?), and I still can’t see 100 percent and won’t be able to for another few weeks at least. It is not horrible, but it is annoying, but I knew going in that it would happen, so I feel like I don’t even have a right to be annoyed. And of course, in the middle of my recovery …
The cat got horribly sick. And we left him at the vet for an entire week for a treatment based on the doctor’s “best guess” about what was wrong, which of course cost even MORE money, on top of what we just spent on me and my eyes, and then it turns out that what they thought was the problem was apparently not the problem. Today, he is undergoing exploratory surgery (more money!), and there’s a very good chance that he has something so serious that we’ll end up putting him down in the next week anyway. And yet, there’s small chance it’s something he CAN recover from, and so we are left with decisions, decisions. And I feel like every decision is horrible because it either costs so much money or it makes the cat suffer or it’s putting money over our pet or something. I told my husband that we should spend at least as much on the cat as we spent on my eyes but we have hit that amount and now I don’t know what to do. It’s not putting us into debt or anything, but it’s so, so stressful when we don’t know the next thing that will be coming down the pike.
Finally, my mother appears to be in the early (but swiftly progressing) stages of dementia/possibly Alzheimer’s, but of course we don’t have any kind of diagnosis, either because my parents aren’t keeping her doctor apprised of all the memory loss that’s occurring or because her doctor (neurologist) is a complete and utter quack who’s been prescribing all sorts of “treatments” for various things that may or may not have any effect on improving her memory but that he does not appear to follow up on at all. Attempts to steer my parents in a different direction have been unsuccessful, and having to figure out how we might be able to contribute to my mother’s inevitable need for care without actually packing up and moving the entire family to an area I’m not keen to settle in is literally keeping me up at nights. As in, shortly after my surgery, I had three days of insomnia so severe, I now throw myself down on the couch the second I feel sleepy because I’m afraid of my bed.
Big fret: where should we move next year after our lease is up on our too-expensive, can’t-stay apartment in our Big Expensive City? The noise, dirt, crowds, and overall money pit vibe of this area is no longer doing it for us. We want to live somewhere quieter and drastically cheaper, where we can garden and sleep more easily (I’ve counted a dozen horns & one motorcycle since I started typing this). But where? How do we make it work, how do all the pieces come together? My husband can work from home, but I’d need to find a new job or face a massively draining commute.
Big fret: I’m overworked and severely underpaid at my current job, the workplace culture is toxic, I’m the only female employee, and my boss seems to resent when I do anything well. He’s colder than an iceberg towards me while lavishing attention on my male coworkers. ItMs a dead end. I’ve got to get out. But how? And how to get the timing right in tandem with a move?
Big fret: will my husband get the contract job position he’s going for and seems fairly set to receive? If not, what will we do? I need to push him to be more motivated to have backups, but how…
Big fret: clock feels like it’s ticking to have a baby. I would do it right now but that would mean staying in my bad job (which only gives a measly 2 weeks paid maternity leave anyway) for much longer than I’d like, because does anyone hire pregnant women? Feeling defeated by the structures we live under.
Small/medium fret: Zika. I’m sure it’ll reach our city soon. I’m not concerned about it except for pregnancy. How can I prevent it? We could plan only trying during winter…Nov, Dec, Jan… but that still risks the final trimester…
Small fret: a dear friend is clearly upset with me but won’t explain why. I have some idea of what it’s about, but she’s pretending nothing’s wrong while giving me the cold shoulder. It’s triggering ghastly middle school social conflict memories. I would be able to brush it off but we were very close and I’m just so disappointed and confused. I really trusted her, and wish she cared enough to work it out.
Small fret: I seem to have some problem with my gumline above one tooth. Dreading dentist.
Small fret: last week was the first time I’ve ever really used my newish, stingy work insurance for something besides a simple primary care visit. I have no clue what the bill will be. It has a high deductible. I’m glum.
Big threat: the world seems to be in a worsening state.
Side note: the organization I work for has had so few female employees in its history that *not a single employee has ever been pregnant or taken maternity leave*. I’d be the first.
I’m late to the party but would like to join. My 2yo is starting preschool and I’m pleasantly obsessing about, but also fretting about, her lunches. Up until now she has been at an in-home daycare where all meals are provided. I have been buying all manner of reusable bags and boxes and tupperware and it’s really so fun. Mainly to avoid thinking about the actual packing.
I’m also fretting about my hair and my daughter’s hair. We both need a cut badly.
Also, I just found out I’m pregnant! So there’s that!! EEK!
I think it is probably wrong of me to be excited to fret to other people…but I will!
Frets…
My daughter is going back to college, and supposed to take her cat with her-but they aren’t allowed! She adopted her the last week of school, and hid her-but unless she can get the cat declared an emotional support animal, the cat cannot go.
I have my husband’s mother, father, aunt and uncle coming up in a week and a half. I do not feel in any way ready for this. Thankfully they rented a motor home, but I know they will be spending lots of time at our house.
My older cat, who is 19-has a brain tumor and it is a struggle every day to give him his medicine, get him to eat, make sure he is comfortable.
I’m a substitute teacher and school starts in 2 weeks.
I am pretty sure I have sciatica, and have had it for 2 months. Getting to the point I can barely bend my left knee-and I am wondering how the hell I am going to deal with being on my feet for 8 hours a day when school starts.
The political situation is so stressful for me, that I actually passed on seeing a woman being nominated for President of the US. I missed that historic moment.
The fact summer is almost over, and I have done almost nothing remotely fun!
Could you have the piercing in a sensitive skin area? My ear gets itchy and red and puffy sometimes as a reaction to the metal. But just the right ear. Hydrocortisone cream or cold (like an ice pack or a can of soda I just opened) have helped. Sometimes, though, I just have to take it out and try another day. Gonna try the tree oil and antibacterial wash now, too. I really love reading your comments section.