I just got back from yet another frustrating experience at the lab where Edward has his blood drawn. It’s supposed to be much, much better to drive half an hour to an easy familiar location than to drive two hours to the scary big city with all the honking drivers who think everyone should be totally 100% familiar with their scary big city, and it OFTEN IS better, but just often enough it happens that we end up driving an hour round-trip for NOTHING, and ALSO I end up with lots of mental arguments going on in my head as I explain to imaginary technicians why what happened was something that shouldn’t have happened. This morning was one of those times.
I hate to have Edward miss school, but I was working this weekend (insert work-related conflicted feelings here) and couldn’t take him until today, and I was already feeling tense because we should have done it last week. We rushed around so that he and I could leave right after the other kids got on the bus. It’s a walk-in lab, so we waited more than half an hour, and then it was finally our turn, and they said, “Oh, yes, we got the paperwork, but to do this test we need a kit, and we don’t have that kit.”
This is the kind of thing that drives me batty. When they received the orders, and saw the orders would require a kit they didn’t have, why didn’t they call the doctor who faxed the orders and say so? Why doesn’t our doctor know that they would need to send the kit, since, as it turns out, they did send it last time? Why are we, the Clueless Patients, left to figure it all out, when we know NOTHING ABOUT ANY OF THIS? Doesn’t it make the most sense that they should talk to each other and combine their knowledge, instead of having me serve as mediator? Wouldn’t that, in the long run, save a LOT OF TIME AND TROUBLE? But I suppose the time and trouble saved would be the PATIENTS’ time and trouble, so there’s little motivation for the doctor’s office or the lab.
Even worse is that I tried to CALL the lab ahead of time to make sure everything was all set, and all they have is a 2-minute recording (their hours, their location, etc.) that doesn’t give an option to speak to anyone, and doesn’t give an option to leave a message. So the only way I could have prevented this situation from happening was to drive half an hour over there and ask.
Worst of all, when I tried to Use My Words and say all these things in a reasonable way, I started crying. And not just a little crying, but a lot of crying. And I kept crying the whole rest of the time we were there, which was like another ten minutes. It was excruciatingly embarrassing, and it wouldn’t stop. I was just so frustrated with EVERYTHING. To her credit, the technician was very kind at this point, and even sat next to me and gave me a side hug, and said kind things about how I must be so stressed and worried, and that of course made me cry MORE, and arg. Just, arg. And now we will have to go back in a couple of days, and they will recognize me as That Mom Who Cried So Much.
And I am feeling some despair, too, because I always thought that these episodes of frustration/rage-crying (which at least usually are not QUITE so lengthy and damp) would at some point STOP. I had in mind a future where I would be…”old enough,” I guess, not to do it anymore. And there is still hope: apparently a lot of women toughen up after menopause, because of estrogen dropping or testosterone rising or something. But arrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg.
I HATE frustration crying! Then the object of my frustration tries to comfort me, or worse, avoid eye contact and pretend it’s not happening. I’m not suffering some emotional breakdown, I’m so angry I can barely breathe!
So sorry, dear. They were totally wrong, in that entrenched, unreasonable way that truly sucks.
I have frustration crying all the time. It’s so awful. I feel like it’s a legitimate handicap, if you’re trying to have a reasoned debate with someone who does not suffer from this affliction. Once you start crying, now you’re the Emotional One and automatically have points deducted.
THIS! All of this! It happens when I’m arguing with my husband, and then all of my points are moot because “there she goes again…”
Oh that is hard! I am a frustration/happiness/sadness/nervousness/any reason at all crier so I am feeling you. But I mean – there is NOTHING you could have done in this ASININE situation! How frustrating! It makes me want to cry in solidarity. I cry every single solitary time I discuss my son in any way, but last year at an IEP meeting when I had to accuse an OT of being – well, not mean, but not understanding of his situation, I had to talk while crying and it just came out like tiny barks in between gulps. Then all I can hope for is that I seem crazy and they are afraid of me and will maybe do what I say. Ugh I hope it works out better the next time, such bs.
Oh, I’m sorry, I hate when I do that! And then if anyone is nice to me when I am frustration crying it just makes me cry more! That is super annoying that they did not have the kit AND you had no way to contact them by phone. It’s like they intentionally try to make things harder for patients!
I do this. it is the WORST. <3 <3 <3
SWISTLE this made ME cry – you poor dear. How MADDENING!!! It’s bad enough when you could have taken a preventative action; then there’s at least something to do for next time. I would have cried too. And I don’t know that I would have been able to express the issues to the techs et al, so: good on you for pressing on despite the tears!
Arrrrgh arrrrgh arrrrgh.
Oh! Bright side! Maybe having made yourself more, er, noticeable than usual will mean that they remember you and Edward and take more care with things regarding you both in future? Yes! That is what will happen! They will feel so bad for THIS mess they will be more helpful than usual every time you deal with them. I have no doubt!
Yes! I wanted to say this, too! Maybe being “That Mom Who Cried So Much” will make them make sure next time they get the orders to check and see if they have the kit and then either get it or call you to tell you not to come in!
I’m a frustrated/angry crier, too, and it really, really sucks.
Agree! This frustrated cloud may have a silver lining, because they will remember and SURELY they wouldn’t want this to happen again, Awfully sorry, though, for you and for Edward, because it just shouldn’t happen this way.
YES! Mark me up as another person who immediately thought that you have just ensured that they will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have the kit available.
I used to cry out of frustration often, and then we went through a two-year stretch of awfulness where I cried a lot out of sadness and grief, and now I don’t cry at all ever, so . . . it gets better? Sorry, a little dark humor there; I can sympathize with the frustration crying and I’m sorry it happens to you. It is embarrassing and just makes you feel more frustrated, which leads to more crying. Arg indeed.
We have the same lab issues with my daughter–the doctor sends orders, the lab doesn’t have the kit, they don’t answer the phone, etc. So irritating, especially when you’ve taken off work/taken your kid out of school/etc. to do the whole thing, and ESPECIALLY when as you know with GI-related lab tests, you sometimes have to bring a particular type of sample with you and that’s a hassle all on its own and you get to the lab to find it was ALL FOR NAUGHT. Extra frustrating.
oh UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH i am so sorry. I am also a frustration-crier and it is THE WORST. I don’t imagine this will be too helpful, because I can’t give any helpful HOW-TO elements, but after a few years of working in corporate America back when I was a young gal in mostly male-dominated fields, I did somehow figure out how to tamp down the frustration-cries, for the sake of my career and not being seen as That Emotional Lady Who We Shouldn’t Involve In Projects. So I can’t explain how to make it happen (MAGIC?) but there is hope that it can get better. Although I suspect frequency-with-which-one-must-practice-this-skill probably has something to do with it as well: if I only found myself needing to stop the frustration-cries every few months, rather than, say, every few days / hours (THANKS PREVIOUS SHITTY JOBS WITH MANY JERKY PEOPLE IN POSITIONS OF POWER) I imagine it would be harder to develop the skill in a reliable manner. Like learning to play an instrument or something: you need practice to maintain a level of proficiency.
Anyway. Not particularly helpful, but I definitely empathize.
This is me, too. There is a scene from “Friends” where Rachel has to have a hard conversation with her boss who treated her unfairly and she says, “Just to warn you, I may cry. [She cries.] But know, it’s not out of sadness or anger, but JUST BY HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU.”
I hold on to that whey I cry. Yes, many times it’s from sadness, but lots of time – in work related or marriage related situations or in a situation like yours – it’s just ALL TOO MUCH and I cry. The tears are always Right There. “Frustration crying” is a great term too.
I have found that if I can get the crying out first, I can be stern or have the hard conversation better. Like, if I can get the frustration out with a conversation with a friend or my husband or my boss first, then I can go have the hard conversation with whomever (doctor, colleague, etc.) much easier. But situations don’t always present that way!
I’m so sorry about this. I hope the next appointment goes much better.
UGH. I am also a frustration crier. It only happens when I am immensely frustrated/borderline furious, and usually when I am trying to reason with a person in a position of authority (of course). It is mortifying and if I could change just ONE THING about myself it would definitely be this trait.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. I don’t understand why they couldn’t just get it together. The patient shouldn’t have to deal with any of this! It should all be handled behind the scenes. You should never even KNOW they need a special kit or whatever.
I am all arm-flappy in sympathy. I have the same cry-response, and it is SO EMBARRASSING. Awful. I’m so sorry.
Your post made me cry. So…solidarity! I think it’s so much more frustrating when the situation involves a kid. Also, I can’t believe the lab/doctor didn’t think this one through and YOU ended up having to deal with it!! I cry in frustration too, and I HATE it. I work in construction (not in the field) so my co-workers are primarily male and I get so angry at myself when I have to deal with a difficult situation & end up with tears in my eyes because I’m frustrated. I’ve had to walk out of several meetings to compose myself. It’s hard enough to get taken seriously in my “field” and crying makes it so much worse. Like someone pointed out above, you are instantly seen as emotional and points are deducted even if they are ALL VALID points! I also just burst in to tears in a meeting this morning because our COO said “we need volunteers for this team building activity, it will involve blindfolds & close contact” (I have a STRONG aversion to people touching me and also being BLINDFOLDED) so I started sweating, went beat red and gave a nervous laugh which then launched me off the emotions cliff and I started crying. UGH. It’s THE. WORST.
Yes! I used to work in construction too, and I remember a particularly bad episode of frustration crying. I was at my desk, and it felt like a thousand people asked me about something (can’t remember what it was) a thousand times. I didn’t know the answer/solution, and then my boss AND the owner were at my office door while I sat frustration crying pretty darn hard trying to explain I had no idea about the situation. Ugh.
I work in a field where adults periodically end up crying in my office, over things that are important to them, but might not seem important in the greater scheme of life (i.e. not because they have just heard life-altering bad news). Know that frustration crying happens to many, many people, including those you think would have nerves of steel. In my experience it happens especially frequently when it’s parents dealing with something regarding a child, because we are all trying so hard to do our best, and life is busy and difficult, and can’t it be easier?
I almost always come away from those interactions feeling more empathy toward the person who has cried, and I am always glad to see them again afterward so that we can have a happier interaction. The only time I’ve can imagine mentally labeling someone as “that person who cries” is if it happens repeatedly AND seems either manipulative or that I should get back-up from a mental health professional for the meeting. This is almost never the case. Most of the time it’s just a human being a human, which is what we’re all doing together.
Also, I’m sorry for the ridiculousness at this lab. I imagine it’s especially frustrating for you as someone who has worked in a similar field, because you know it can be done better.
I totally agree with this. I have been in situations where people, men and women, cried in frustration-and it made me feel even more empathetic towards them. Sometimes life sucks and we are all human, and we have to let it out. I don’t usually cry in frustration, I get an icy cold demeanor that actually turns almost all people off-but a few months ago I escalated a knee injury and had to go to my doctor. I cried through the whole appointment, from blood pressure check to Xrays and back to the doctor. I simply couldn’t help myself-it was actually very weird, like my eyes were leaking without my consent. It wasn’t even the pain, it was true frustration at what I was dealing with.
Swistle, I think the reason you might have cried is because it is a situation you really have no control over, and it concerns your child. I am a very detailed person who tries to have all her ducks in a row at all times, so then to meet up with medical personnel who have such a “whatever” attitude to things-drives me nuts. Going back to my knee injury, I went to my doctor last week, because I feel like I need an MRI. I had my Physical Therapist send all her notes to him, and when I got there, it was obvious he hadn’t read anything. Then I had to explain all, and he kept telling me I needed to “hurry up-we don’t have enough time for this.”. I always liked him, but now-looking for a new doctor. I would have cried, except I was focused on kicking him in the nuts.
I usually clam up, don’t make my point at all, but try to pretend everything is FINE FINE FINE so I can get out of there, then cry when I get in the car. This is TERRIBLE. Once I start I always wish I’d just cried in the office so they’d REALIZE how much frustration they’d caused and feel bad. Not only did I not make my point with words, I didn’t make it with tears, which are at least better than NOTHING. (In my mind. At the time.)
I do this too, and learned this trick from a friend. I say, “And now you are going to think I am this emotional crazy lady instead of hearing what I am saying.” This actually cues them into my words instead of my tears.
Sorry about the stupid mix-up. I hope things go smoothly next time and you get good test results.
Argh, what a DEEPLY frustrating situation! I deeply dislike and resent the socio-cultural norm against crying in public/in the presence of others, because if there were ever a situation in which crying should be widely accepted and understood, it is EXACTLY this scenario. The combination of powerlessness, anxiety, and anger would result, in most people, in either crying or violent rage, so let’s just accept that and find a way to react that doesn’t imply weakness or bestow shame on the person who is emotional. The people in that office should be mighty grateful that, in your case, your reaction was crying and not, say, throwing a chair, because either response was warranted. I hope that if nothing else, your reaction sparked in them a desire to fix this RIDICULOUS non-system they have going on and make things easier next time.
Also, I am a Crier at Inconvenient Times (such as in parent-teacher conferences, even if they’re saying perfectly nice/neutral things), and my problem is that once I start, it’s impossible to stop. Seriously, the crying will just GO ON and it’s like I have no control over it even when the situation is over. Hours later, tears are still leaking and my nose is running like crazy. And my eyes get VERY red and my face splotchy, so there is absolutely no hiding it. Even if I just briefly tear up, it’s OBVIOUS what is happening, and if anyone expresses concern or asks if I’m ok, it usually triggers the full-on crying. And then I get embarrassed and also touched by the other person’s kindness, and it’s just a perfect storm of ugly crying. Sheesh.
Oh, dear. I thought my days of Inconvenient Crying were mostly over since I am no longer in school (I once cried as a professor gave me praise on a half-finished project; they weren’t even happy tears) or in an office environment (crying in the middle of frustrating meetings). I did not even THINK of parent/teacher conferences or other situations at my daughters’ school. Eeesh.
That is so very frustrating. I mean, they are a lab, right, and it’s not like he’s patient zero. Surely they get requests pretty regularly for this test. And if not, what kind of crappy process do they have that they wait until the patient/customer shows up to say “oh sorry we can’t do that” AND they act like you’re the crazy one?
Yesterday I was at my breaking point with my 2 year old and then she nearly took a header off the toilet and I cried. She was so confused. Everybody’s right, it’s that much harder with kids.
WHY wasn’t there a PROCEDURE to get that kit when the order came in? It should have been automated! That would have sent me right round the bend. Tears seem the appropriate response; milder at least than putting a pen through someone’s eyeball. Well done you.
I am so sorry Edward is going through this. I have been thinking about him.
I’m so sorry. I do this sort of crying, too. Actually I had an incident at the bank in January. Humiliating.
You know what, though? Sometimes I think it’s a really good thing for people working in these places to be confronted with the results of bad policies or a bad job done, and by this I mean the emotional toll it takes on customers. I think maybe someone should be forced to see it. Because you shouldn’t have been put in the position you were in, and to then feel like you must take it like some kind of machine, well, I think that’s an unfair expectation. We are dealing with humans and not machines, and a reminder might not be a bad thing. Not that you’d cry on purpose, but you know what I mean, maybe? Your crying fit was a public service. So, thank you.
I agree! An angry reaction to a bad policy is easy to brush off as some person who is being unreasonable or having a bad day; seeing someone weep as a result of a bad policy, especially someone who is working hard to be reasonable, is a helpful anecdote to take to the Powers That Be that perhaps something needs to be re-thought.
Ugh, I do the frustrated crying too. So inconvenient. HOWEVER, I have come to realize that very few people handle anger/frustration particularly well in the moment. Like, most people cannot manage the calm, quiet “I am angry about this situation and here are my well-ordered reasons why and here is what should have happened” right there when the thing is happening. And the other ways that anger manifests are generally not any better than crying. I would rather be the crying person than the loudly yelling person, or the person who gets really nasty. Or even the person who just gets flustered and quiet (which I also sometimes do) because, as someone said above, at least crying shows people that you are UPSET and that they should probably fix something.
Hugs. I hope they get their act together next time.
I once got yelled at at work by a mean client who then refused to deal with me. When I went to fill in the [very firm, very professional] superior who would need to call him back, I started CRYING in her office. She looked at me for a moment and then said, firmly but kindly, “Sometimes when things like this get to us, it’s because there are other things behind the emotion.” And at the time I wanted to die, because I was so humiliated and embarrassed, but later I realized she was right. There was A LOT of other stress piled up behind that one phone call. So. You probably were stressed and worried and it’s all fine.
Except for they way they treated you, because that its not fine. That is bullshit. And I personally think a letter to the doctor AND lab outlining how absurd it is to force two people to waste an hour plus out of their school/work day in futile pursuit of a basic, common test they are being paid to perform is ridiculous beyond words. Want me to write it for you? BECAUSE I AM PRIMED.
I’m a frustration crier, and I hate it. At times like these I draw inspiration from the great Tina Fey: “Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”
Oh, you beat me to the punch! I was so going to quote this too! I’ll just add that I was once told by my teacher-mentor at Mayo Clinic that studies show that the young doctors that cry at work actually are the most successful later. More likely to become chief residents, what have you. So after that, I felt like it was not so taboo.
Yes yes yes to that Tina Fey quote, and also, I totally hear you. I have frustration tears in my eyes just from reading what you wrote and I definitely would have cried in that situation too. Solidarity.
Yea I work with someone who says never let the boys see you cry. Oh please! It happens.
Swistle I’m sorry your time got wasted like that, and all the ensuing frustration.
I do this too, and I hate it so much, but I am seriously feeling better seeing all of the wonderful commenters here! and I love the Tina Fey quote!
I am a sympathetic crier, an angry crier, and a stress crier. And it has definitely gotten worse with age, which just doesn’t seem fair. Fistbump of unnecessary crying solidarity. Hope the office gets its shit together for next time, that really is ridiculous that no one could have possibility realized there was a problem sooner. Argh.
I agree that it might make the people at the lab have more empathy towards you and Edward and give you better treatment next time. Even though it might be hard to face them it will be harder for them because they didn’t do their jobs and the result made someone cry! I would feel like crap if I worked at that place. Well, at least your hair looks good. Love the new look.
OMG how very frustrating. I just HATE shit like that, like, hello, lab, please get your shit together so as to not be total jackasses that inconvenience your patients.
But also – I am a frustrated crier and although I have found it terribly embarrassing at times, I also find it can really work to your advantage. I’m not sure if that’s the case in your situation, but I have found that when I’m frustrated enough to cry it gets action on the part of others. Perhaps when you go back they will remember you and go out of their way to make things easier for you. I hope, anyway. I feel you, I really do.
Also – it really must be stressful and scary every time to go get blood, and have to get it monitored. It’s not an easy thing, having a child who has medical issues. It’s really, really hard.
Hugs, Swistle. xoxo
Well my mom who is 70 and, therefore, well through menopause has promised me a “dry old age,” by which she means that she almost never cries anymore. She used to cry at all kinds of things (and I’d make fun of her as a teenager because teenagers are horrible and now karma is a bitch, but I digress). Now, nothing. Sometimes being post-menopausal seems like it will be nice indeed.
I cry at inopportune times and have tried this with some success (when I can remember to do it) – pinching the skin between your thumb and index finger really hard when you feel about to cry. I guess it distracts you?
http://cupofjo.com/2015/02/how-to-stop-yourself-from-crying-2/
Not long ago I burst into tears at the blood donor place when they told me I couldn’t donate blood anymore. I was so embarassed, especially since probably many people would be happy to have a cast-iron excuse not to have to donate blood. On the other hand it’s been many years since I’ve even been close to crying at work. Maybe because my job is less stressful these days, but also I think I’ve gotten more confident about work as I’ve gotten older.
Ditto to everyone, of course, but another potential perk of being post-menopausal: my grandma told me her leg hair just stopped growing. I wish I had thought to ask about armpit hair before she died.
Jesus, I’m frustration-crying ON YOUR BEHALF reading this. What the fuck kind of incompetent jackassery IS THAT?
I once heard an explanation for this kind of response: emotional flooding. It’s not just the one thing, it’s a pile-up of the feelings that came from everything before.
They need to move past it not being their time and money being wasted. They are not able to treat patients if this procedure can’t work.
Have you seen this “Trapped in the System: A Sick Doctor’s Story” (http://nyti.ms/1iIolZe)? Seriously, it is almost the exact same story you are telling and it happens to a doctor who should be able to navigate the healthcare system. I hope you can take comfort in the fact that you are not alone in dealing with these hoops! The deck is stacked against us!!
I’m so sorry. :( I had one of those at the CAR RENTAL place the other week. Seriously, who gets upset about a car rental? Me, that’s who! (But seriously, after I called ahead of time to confirm that they could drop me off at the car repair place and they said “yes!” they said “no!” when I showed up 15 minutes after the initial phone conversation. They then suggested I come back the next day WITH MY TODDLER AND BABY IN TOW and they could drop me off then after I switched car seats from the rental car to the shuttle bus. All this to go 2 1/2 miles down the road! NOT COOL, CAR RENTAL PLACE! Anyhow, I had a complete breakdown and left with the rental car because I had no other way to go. After cooler heads prevailed (my husband), I went back there and then had to sit around for an hour and wait for husband to pick me up to drop me off at the car repair place. So sitting around the very place I had the breakdown for an hour after the breakdown was additional insult to injury.)
Sorry to make this all about me , but AAAGGGGHHHH!! EEWWWW!!! EEEKKKK!!! I totally get your frustration and tears in this story and am still worked up about mine (obviously).
I have no shame in frustration crying. I do it all the time. I did it to the lab when I was pregnant to the phlebotomist. I don’t even remember the circumstances, but he was so sympathetic. Which made me cry harder. But somebody pisses me off, they’re gonna see me cry.
Solidarity in frustration crying! Wow, there are a lot of us.
What I particularly hate is the way that a frustration- or helplessness-induced cry at the beginning of the day often throws the rest of the day off-kilter. It’s hard to get back on track and I feel residual blahs all day.
I’m sorry, what an upsetting situation. When you go back, can you ask for contact information for a superior or manager? Can you explain the situation to them and ask how you should handle situations like this in the future? Advice I’ve found helpful is to try to explain the situation as being about avoiding trouble rather than trying to assign blame (“It’s so hard for me with my kids and my job to get to a blood draw like this. What can I do so that this runs smoothly in the future? Who can I talk to?”).
It really is an unreasonable situation, and I hope you find a way to fix it.
Oh, Swistle…I feel your pain. I, too at age 43 am a lifelong member of the rage/frustration crier club. I have come to accept that it’s what I do and probably isn’t going away. *sigh* I’m sorry for your horrible lab experience.
I once read that we only truly release stress by either laughing or crying. So I actually think the crying is quite healthy. I find it difficult to cry even when I should and, as a result, I find myself constantly stressed and anxious and it comes out as anger. So, even though it’s embarrassing to cry in public, I admire you for it. Hopefully their sympathy with translate into more successful visits in future!
What a horrid, incompetent lab. My little brother had to get a lot of lab work done as a teenager, and I remember that my mom was constantly frustrated with the difficulties of working with the labs. She did a lot of frustration crying. I also do a lot of frustration crying, including an incredibly embarrassing incident in college involving a replacement printer that my father tried to order me from out of state….that could only be picked up at the store with the same credit card that bought it. I went out to my car to cry and got approached by multiple strangers to see if I was okay. It just made everything worse.
Also, places that don’t actually let you talk to a real person on the phone are one of my pet peeves.
It’s nice to find so many people also afflicted with frustration and other forms of inconvenient crying, but I’m curious where all of you are in my real life. I’ve never actually seen another person cry in frustration, that person is always me. I would never actually wish that on anyone I know, because it’s so awkward, but I’m surprised it’s never happened.
I find as I get older (or perhaps because my kids are still young and the tension always seems to be at an 11 in our house), I do much more irritated snapping than crying. I’d frankly rather cry. When I get snippy with people it reminds me of all the times I wondered why my dad couldn’t keep his temper (irritable, not explosive) in public. Hahaha, joke’s on me. Turns out I just had to become an adult with children to become a total anger ball.
I think you should be very proud of yourself — in that situation, frustration sobbing seems like a much better alternative than frustration yelling or frustration anger or frustration sarcasm. You even had the presence of mind to appreciate the lab tech’s kindness!
I am also a frustrated cryer. and once I gave notice to a boss that was a little bit intimidating and he was blindsided I have my notice. I was frustrated with the job and I wasn’t given the territory I should have been given one when somebody else left so here I am giving him my notice and I’m crying and at the end he try to make me feel better by cracking a joke because he was embarrassed and I laugh/snorted and snot flew out of my nose and I didn’t have a tissue so I died and here I am again tenures later dying all over again.
‘Why are we, the Clueless Patients, left to figure it all out, when we know NOTHING ABOUT ANY OF THIS?’
Second comment to say this is one of my greatest frustrations. When the people in charge DON’T take charge, and I as a paying customer, and/or perhaps as the least knowledgeable person in a situation have to take charge and lead, direct, resolve things. Arghhh!
When I try to sum up my last few years of health issues, it’s so hard to do so in a way the adequately captures it. This is in large part because of the seemingly endless tiny things like this that are just NOT so tiny. It’s the constant effort and frustration and work for the basics of things like lab work and doctor’s visits and x-rays and CT scans – things that go toward solving the problem but aren’t actually fixing anything, necessarily, on that day. It isn’t just the big procedures or the issues themselves: it’s death by a thousand paper cuts.
I haven’t read the other comments so I don’t know if I am just repeating what people have said. But as someone who can start to see a sliver of light at the end of her shitty tunnel of health bullshit (official medical terms), I want you to know that this it is completely, totally, 100% okay for this to feel frustrating and overwhelming and cause you to burst into tears at surprising (and unsurprising) times. I will also tell you, for what it’s worth, that in my experience it can be very alarming/disarming because it doesn’t always hit you when you might think that it should. I have burst into tears at such a comically wide variety of times I can’t even tell you. Off the top of my head: a doctor greeting me at a follow-up appointment, getting on the operating table (normal), an assistant putting on a wrist band with nary a doctor in sight, waiting on a prescription, and in the recovery room, when not in pain and with a good result I burt into tears in front of four surgeons. They assumed I was in pain. I was not. I mumble-cried “It’s just been such a long ROAD!”.
In other words, many straws are being placed on the camel’s back – sometimes several a time, sometimes not- and there’s no way to know which one will make the camel temporarily collapse. The camel will get up again, and the camel will be fine. But there might be Collateral Public Place Crying in between. And that, I am pretty sure, is why camels store all that water in their humps. THE END.