I just gave up on the book Hausfrau, and I wish I’d given up a lot sooner. I kept THINKING I should stop reading it because it was making me feel kind of depressed and sick and I was tired of the story interrupting itself, but then I kept going just because I’d gotten so far already and was still interested in finding out what would happen. And then two very upsetting things happened in the book. If I’d stopped reading it when I’d FELT like stopping, I wouldn’t have those things in my head.
Let’s talk about something else! Elizabeth wants to have her 10th birthday party at home, in our yard. This is the party I mentioned earlier, where I was braced for a big loud noisy expensive party, but I thought it would be somewhere ELSE, and that someone ELSE would be managing the children and cleaning up afterward. Instead it will be HERE, and the one managing/cleaning will be ME.
It’s the first time I’ve done such a thing, and I have a feeling there are a LOT of things people have learned from experience on this topic. I have some tips already from that earlier post. Elisabeth suggested: (1) have another adult around to help and commiserate, and (2) have an activity set up for the kids to do as they arrive, since some will arrive early and some late. Joanne suggested having the kids write their names on their cups and decorate them if they want to; that would be a good arrival activity. Katie suggested seeing if I can hire one or two of Rob’s friends to help out. These are all such good ideas.
The basic structure of the party is two hours in the back yard. I chose two hours because that seems to be the minimum party length, and I don’t want to do MORE than two hours.
I’ll have an arrival activity (decorating cups and/or a paper tablecloth, and/or running around in the yard), and also will be ready with a departure activity (probably more running around in the yard).
I’ll have a clipboard and paper for parents to write down their names and phone numbers. I will try to get all the parents to leave by putting on the invitation something like “drop-off at [time], pick up at [time],” and by helping them leave if they want to leave or don’t care either way (“Okay, we’ll see you back here at 3:00, then!”). I will not say “Go, have fun!” or “Enjoy your time off!” or anything similar, because I don’t know how to respond when other parents say it to me as I drop off one child and go home to deal with the other children.
If parents stay anyway, I will… I don’t know. I don’t know what I’ll do with them. It gives me some comfort to have been on the other end of that relationship: when Elizabeth was younger, she didn’t want me to leave her at parties so I stayed. Here is what I and the other parents expected: to have a place we could stand and chat with each other, in sight of the children at the party. That’s it. Usually the host DID offer us cake or something, but I always felt as if I and the other parents were Not Officially There: we weren’t invited guests, we were more like our children’s security blankets. Existing and taking up space, but not in need of any official hosting.
We’re going to decorate by hanging regular balloons upside down from tree branches, and tying helium balloons to the mailbox (I’ve LOVED this when I’m trying to find a birthday child’s house) and to the stair railings and to anywhere else that seems good.
If it rains, we will have the party inside, heaven help us all. I will try to make it seem like a madcap adventure as I hiss at the other children to “clear the dining room table, QUICK. No, just shove everything into a laundry basket or something and GET IT OUT OF HERE!”
I’m letting her invite a dozen children, not because I specifically chose twelve, but because that was her full list of people she wanted to invite and that seemed okay. She’s inviting all girls. I said casually, “Are there any boys you want to invite?,” and she said, shocked, “NO!” As if I’d suggested she might want to serve broccoli instead of cake.
I have heard that some people actually drop off uninvited siblings as well as the invited child. I am just going to hope no one does that.
We’re having the party on a Sunday afternoon instead of a Saturday, because we’ve heard Saturday can be a busy day for kids who are doing sports, or who have siblings doing sports. That explains why SO MANY birthday parties are on Sundays around here. I’d wondered.
I’m pushing for cupcakes so I don’t have to cut and serve cake. We’ll have paper plates and plastic utensils. Elizabeth wants to have pizza too, but one of the girls she wants to invite has a severe dairy allergy, so I’m thinking NO on pizza; it’s a good time to teach the difference between “having things your way because it’s your birthday” and “being a considerate host.” If the guest with the allergy RSVPs a no, then…well, but by then the invitations will already have gone out. Perhaps I could email parents saying “Oh by the way, we’ve decided to have pizza too.”
I don’t know yet what to have to drink. Water? I don’t really want to deal with soda, and milk is out because of the child with a dairy allergy. But water doesn’t seem very festive. Maybe I should decide to deal with soda. I could get those cute little cans. Or juice boxes. Or a selection: little water bottles, little sodas, juice boxes.
For activities, she wants to play simple games like duck-duck-goose and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey and ring-toss, but mostly just run around in the yard and play. We’ll get out the hula hoops and bouncy balls and other outdoorsy toys and have them lying around. She wants the game prizes to be very small so that people who don’t win anything won’t be as upset. Like, if there are lollipops in the goody bags, she wants the extra lollipops to be the prizes: then some people might get two lollipops, but everyone gets at least ONE.
I’ve noticed that for awhile there was a trend in our area toward NOT opening the presents at the party. That seems to have shifted back, and in any case I think we’ll have her open the presents at the party because it takes up TIME.
We’re not sure about the goody bags yet. We will have them, we know that. That’s all we know.
I am interested in ALL birthday-party talk. I am PARTICULARLY interested in tips, not only to make things easier and more manageable (though of course that is on my mind), but also tips to make things more FUN. I am a little worried, with so many of Elizabeth’s friends having/attending bounce-house parties and roller-skating parties and gymnastics parties, that duck-duck-goose in someone’s back yard will be a bit…dull. I don’t want to Pinterest every inch, but “This small thing was a surprising hit” can be INVALUABLE. And we have some money to play with: a location party would have started at around $250, and I don’t see any reason we can’t take some of that and redirect it to the Increase the Fun of a Backyard Party fund.
We’ve done the backyard party a few times and I think it’s easier than you imagine (I hope that’s comforting–it’s meant to be). I do pizza and cake, with a cooler full of various drinks–juice boxes, bottled water, soda and– THIS is very important–beer and wine for the grown ups! It seems like you don’t want the adults to stay, but in my experience it is helpful to have extra adults on hand to supervise and help manage food and drinks. If there is beer and wine (and optional pizza) I’ve found that the adults hang around, as it also becomes a bit of a social hour for us, too. I also wouldn’t worry too much about games/activities. In 100% of outdoor parties I’ve attended or hosted (lots) the kids end up just running around like crazy, maybe playing with some yard toys. One event that has been a successful organized “thing” is a pinata. The kids go nuts for that, but you do need extra adults to help supervise the swinging/getting out of the way of the bat. It’s a nice way to end the party. I think you’ll see that 2 hours go pretty fast!
On the other side of the coin, I would NEVER provide alcohol to the adults. One – they’re all driving to the party, you don’t want to be responsible for anyone driving his/her kid home with a single drink in them. Two – it’ll encourage the parents to stay and you don’t want that. If you think the parents will stay, have a veggie plate and sodas. That’s it.
This sounds like a great idea – I think parties at home are a blast! Have fun!
A couple things we have done that kids like:
1) pinata! We’ve made them ourselves with paper mache or bought them at target. Then I just pick up treat bags for them to fill and that is what the kids take home as their party favor. I have found this activity is best saved for last.
2) Another game idea: kids form two teams and line up. There is a bucket full of water at the beginning of each line (in front of the first child) and an bucket at the end (behind the last child). Each child gets a cup. The first kid in each line fills their cup from the bucket and then dump the water backward over their head. The second child has to catch as much of the water as possible. The kids keep dumping the water down the line and the last kid pours theirs in the bucket. Continue until first bucket is empty – Whichever team has the most water in the bucket wins. Only rule is no turning around.
3) I have never done this but one of the most memorable activities from when I was a kid was a party where the living room at their house was COVERED in yarn (and I mean covered). At the doorway, there was an “end” of the yarn spool for each kid and we had to wind our way through the room, through the yarn mess, and through each other and follow our yarn to the end where we got a prize (full size candy bars, all hidden under the couch). It was a blast! I still wonder how long it took that mom to do that! I am waiting until my youngest is old enough for friend birthday parties and then the older siblings can set it up for me :)
I did #3 for my daughter’s 9th birthday and they LOVED it. It took me and a friend over an hour to create and they killed it in about ten minutes but it was worth it!
My girl is a summer birthday and we’ve had backyard parties. She loves music, so we’ve brought music outside (used to be a boom box, but nowadays it’s a computer with speakers, so we can queue up favorite songs on spotify). Freeze dance is the most popular activity, or just dancing in general. We’ve even done the macarena.
We did freeze dancing too, and it was the most popular thing we did.
Yes, we’ve always done a pinata with home parties. I have made them from balloons with paper mache and also from cereal boxes – those ones tend to not break though when kids hit them. But that does take up a lot of time!
Another party game we like is a British one – pass the parcel. It does take awhile to prepare it ahead of time. See http://www.wikihow.com/Play-Pass-the-Parcel – we always do little gifts in each layer, like a lollipop or an eraser etc. But you don’t have to.
For drinks I like punch, usually some variation on this: http://blog.emeals.com/green-leprechaun-drink/ Soda and sherbet and sometimes water and frozen drink concentrate too.
One thing I noticed from having kids come to our house for parties – they really don’t eat the cake. They will have just a little or just eat the frosting. But you end up throwing most of it away as leftovers. Last year I even bought the little ice cream cups for parties, so I wouldn’t have to scoop ice cream – and they didn’t even eat those either.
My daughter turns 10 next month – I think I’m going with the “one friend sleepover” thing. :P
Sorry, thought about a couple more things:
After the kids have all arrived and finishing up the opening activity, I would lay out the ground rules (e.g., “You are welcome to go inside and use the bathroom but we are going to stay outside for the party” or “There are enough juice boxes for everyone to have one and then you can have water” or whatever).
Kiddie cocktails are a big hit for my kids and their friends for drinks – sprite and a big jar of maraschino cherries is all you need, so it is pretty easy.
And if you decide to do snacks, we have done a build your own mix. I put out big bowls of popcorn, pretzels, and gold fish, and then bowls of m&ms, gummy bears, mike n ikes, and the kids put together their snack mix (I’ve done either paper bowls or gotten some colored chinese take out containers from Michaels).
I always serve lemonade in a self-service dispenser. I mix it from powder then slice lemons to put in it as decorations and even my friend the caterer said “OMG she made homemade lemonade!” As if!
My sister’s b-day is in August, and her kids’ b-days are in June. Every year, my mom would do a tie-dye party for my sister in the back yard. The party favor was the shirt.
My sister changed that to stamping parties, where the kids would use stamps and ink to decorate shirts or tote bags for the kids to bring home. That, plus a pinata.
I vote fruit punch and water.
My son has been to water gun parties, where everybody gets super wet and brings home a squirt gun as the favor.
We threw a luau backyard party one year and it was fun. A small kiddie pool for filling water guns (I let the parents know ahead of time about possibly getting wet), a broom for limbo, and sand pails for goodie bags. Easy snacks set out with plastic dishes, water and lemonade in the self service dispensers, cupcakes with chocolate sea shells on top. The best part was renting a local shaved ice truck. They truck comes playing fun music and the kids each got a small shaved ice with the flavor of their choice. Since we weren’t renting out a place, we had the money to rent this instead. With that many girls, a craft of some kind might be good too and if it’s outside, no real mess to contend with.
I always find it helpful to have some kind of unifying activity planned – a piñata is a great idea – so that if the running around gets too crazy, or if someone is feeling left out or just quietly on the edge of the group (which can happen in group of 12 kids), there’s a point where everyone comes together and knows what to do. If you are interested in spending some cash, we’ve been to fun birthday parties with a hired entertainer type (balloon artist, magician, reptile wrangler, etc) who serves this purpose as well. Our rain plan is having the party in the garage if that’s an option – great spot for running around/pinata/cupcakes.
A few random tips…
*If you do bottles of water, you can wrap them in duct tape to make them look a little more festive. They make some really cute patterns of duct tape nowadays.
*We did a backyard party for my son, and digging for small items (coins, gems, etc) in our dirt pit (old flowerbed) was a huge hit. Of course we had to go and hide them beforehand. I am not sure if you would have a space for that, but the kids loved it. We gave them little cloth bags so they could collect their treasures.
*We did a backyard party for my daughter and painting was a huge hit. We turned a table on its side and taped the paper to it to use as an easel, and we had a bunch of watercolor paint sets I had found on clearance. We also had some plain cardboard “frames” (really mats) that they could decorate if they wanted to. Then everyone took home their creations as part of the goody bags.
*I am firmly in the camp that I do not give out prizes for games at birthday parties (because I hated that pressure as a kid, to try to win, so I never had fun). But, everyone gets a goody bag at the end.
Let us know what you end up doing. Fun! :)
We just had my 8 yr old’s at our house. In the winter. The plan was pizza, movie/popcorn, decorate cupcakes, done. The problem is no one (besides my kid) wanted to sit and watch the movie. It felt a little desperate at first, but then one of the kids suggested musical chairs and that was great. It killed a lot of time and they had a great time. I would have more events planned than you think they need, they move through fast. Pin the tail on the donkey is also fun (but fast!). Also, at Walmart for less than $10 I got a package with a cute polka dot backdrop and lots of fun dress up things on a stick (think: glasses, mustaches, etc) for a photo booth. They had fun with that.
I have done nothing but at home parties because I am a mean mom (also cheap).
1. Ground rules are a must. I would also mention that electronics are not allowed, because inevitibly some kid will have a phone or ipod and whip it out if they are bored. Boom, there goes your party.
2. If there is any game that might involve getting wet, at least let parents know as they drop off.
3. Piñata=yes
4. Have snacks besides the cake available. Someone will always be starving.
5. Your idea of little waters and juices is right on!
6. Have an outline of what you want to do and then add 2 more activities in case they rush through what you planned.
7. Have fun! It will be pleasntly quiet when they all go home.
Here is how I handled drinks at my son’s most recent party. He turned six.
– cups with names
– I bought a fancy-looking two beverage dispenser. Think two glass sun tea jars on a decorative stand. $40 and I’ve since loaned it out for other parties. One jar had fancy water – lots of ice and lemon slices, and the other one had some kind of juice blend.
This way, everyone could have whatever was appropriate, since there was one with allergies, and it was no big deal. Plus, when the juice got low, water was already right there and nobody complained.
Good luck!
Seconding the pinata recommendation. I’m so cheap, I’ve used pinata candy as their goody-bag take-home thing. I resent the goody-bags in a big way, but that’s my personal issue. One thing that I have found to be successful at little girl parties is to hire a teenager or two to come and do hair and nails. I think I paid them $20 and I made sure to include after- party clean-up as part of their responsibilities. It’s a win for everyone.
I agree with you on goodie bags–I hate them! I feel like most of the time my kids come home with junk that I have to get rid of. Lately I’ve been skipping the whole thing. I did have one kid ask about it at my 9 year old’s party, and I just said we didn’t have them and he was fine with it.
That’s a great idea about the hair and nails. Or you could do pedicures (again with parental notification ahead of time).
Just had my daughter’s ninth bday party at our house on Saturday! A couple other ideas:
— Brand new pack of 48 sidewalk chalk was a surprising hit (and super cheap on Amazon)
— As was the Gazillion bubble hurricane machine (amazon)
— They LOVED decorating their own cupcakes. Just ice them all in white and put out sprinkles, those edible eyes, some gel decorator icing in different colors, tiny m&ms (or other little candies), or whatever else catches your eye in Target!
— If you have a card table, you could buy five different colors of nail polish and have a little “manicure” station as another activity. Let the girls do each others’ nails.
I DREADED having my dd’s party at home, but it ended up being fine. I’m sure your children are gracious and lovely but don’t forget to cover with your daughter what she says if she gets a duplicate gift, or something she already has (and partygoers are aware of it).
At our parties the kids also LOVED the bubble machine. They are relatively inexpensive, and can be reused. We also have seen big cardboard houses that can be decorated with markers that were really fun.
I have no idea whether this even exists, but I wonder if you could Google “team building activity for 10 year olds” or something similar. As someone mentioned, in a group that size there are often a couple of kids who hover on the edge and can’t quite get engaged. Maybe a fun task that involved all the girls working together would be a nice way to start the party and get everyone chummy with each other. Love the pinata suggestion as well, and handing out a pre-decorated bag with the guest’s name on it makes it clear that the pinata spoils are the goody bag.
Another goody bag idea would be to buy small ziploc type bags at Michaels and build a make-your-own-necklace kit for each girl. I did this for my daughter – put in a cord, letter beads spelling the guest’s name and then a few handfuls of multicolored pony beads. It was surprisingly reasonable cost wise and better received than the handful-of-crap-from-the-dollar-bins (which I fully admit to trashing immediately when it comes home with my kids).
And finally, I never met a kid who didn’t like a water balloon toss. They make those non-tie ones now so you don’t have to spend hours preparing them.
We did a tie-dye party one year for my oldest. She has a late spring birthday, we live in Arizona, it was a perfect time of year to be outside. The tie-dye activity was fun, and something I could pull off, because I’ve done them myself tons of times. I bought each girl a plain white cotton shirt, and had everything prepped (prewashed, damp, etc) ready for the activity. I gave the girls the shirts, and a lot of elastics and showed them the different ways to roll up and band up the shirts. Then, they got to the dyeing. That took about 45 minutes, honestly. Then we did tie-dye cake (that I made from a box mix) and did some yard games like cornhole. I sent the unwashed shirts home with the girls in gallon zip lock bags, with instructions on how to set the dye (I offered to do it at my house, and some of the parents took me up on the offer) and wash the shirts at a later time. One caveat, dye colors skin too, and one of the Moms was super concerned about that. I had purple and green fingers for a week or so following the party.
Once we had a coin hunt at a friends indoor birthday party (if you should end up indoors.). A hundred (more??) or so pennies, maybe a few nickles thrown in, in public areas or the house. There were ground rules like, if you open a drawer, it would be visible (no digging through drawers). Maybe not so much ‘hidden’ as placed all around. I think the challenge came when we knew we had two pennies still unaccounted for….
I second the water and lemonade.
I’ve thrown lots of kid backyard parties! A few tips:
1. Cupcakes are fine but you should also probably serve some other kind of food. Kids are always hungry & it takes up time & smooths over social issues (kid or adult). You don’t need to serve a meal but some kind of of snacky things would work. Trader Joes has lots of snacks for folks with dietary restrictions. I’ve even done frozen pizza & gotten dairy free, vegan or gluten free pizza from TJ for the kids who needed it.
2. IME 10 yo girls love crafts. I have done many easy variations–decorate a cup/water bottle/t-shirt with paint pens, buy a bunch of beads & do bracelet/necklace stringing, or just a drawing station w/lots of paper & pens/pencils/crayons. Again, takes up time & gives a little party structure. Also, it can double as a party favor!
3. Drinks! I usually do Capri Suns, they are easy & seem more “big kid” to the kids than juice boxes. And definitely get a few alcoholic beverages in case any parents stay (or for yourself!). I usually buy beer plus an inexpensive cava (Spanish sparkling wine).
4. If you want to spend a little more, once I got a lady to come do waterproof glitter tattoos for 2 hrs. I think it cost $150 which is a lot but it was SO POPULAR. All the girls looooved it & the tattoos lasted almost a week.
Backyard parties are great!! I’m sure it will be wonderful.
So many great ideas already!
I’ll second the idea to hire some teenage (or pre-teen) girls – I used to do this when I was about 13 or 14. I loved crafty stuff and i loved feeling like i was being given responsibility, so other parents with kids my little sister’s age would “hire” me to come over and help with the party. That included coming up with craft / activity ideas, wrangling children / making sure they were all involved and entertained, and helping to clean up. If I made any actual money it was a pittance. Getting girls to come do their hair / nails is an AWESOME idea, I wish I would have thought of that back in the day!
One of my favorite bday parties of my own included a decorate-your-own-cupcake activity like someone else mentioned, and we always loved water-themed activities at outdoor parties.
LOVE the piñata idea! Some friends of mine give money piñatas as wedding presents, and so I’ve grown to appreciate them quite a lot recently. And if you’ve got crafty kids, they’re a lot of fun to make.
Seconding the decorate-your-own-cupcake project – it’s fun, and a good way to make the cake part last longer. (Though I don’t know how the sprinkles, etc. are on the dairy-free front … if that’s not easily discoverable, then maybe other crafts would be better.)
I think that the idea of having A Hired Thing would be fun – the shaved ice truck, high schoolers doing hair and nails, etc. It’s definitely not necessary, but since you’ve got a bit of room in the budget, that can make it feel decidedly different from a big group play date.
My last suggestions would be to take 2 advil beforehand, be sure you’re drinking water if you’re outside more than you normally are, and to build in recuperation time for yourself afterwards. I’ve had a *much* better time working at events since starting the advil habit (they can get SO NOISY), and building in time to slink away post-cleanup for a bit definitely helps me be less snappish when I do rejoin ‘regular’ life.
Good luck! This sounds like it’ll be a lot of fun for the kids, and I think you’re doing a great job in helping to make it do-able for yourself, too.
As others have said, crafts are typically a big hit with this age group. You can get inexpensive, plain canvas aprons at craft stores that you can either decorate with their names ahead of time as a keepsake, or let them decorate their own. Then they can paint, decorate their own cookies/cupcakes, whatever with no risk to party clothes.
We once did a make-your-own-sugar-scrub craft when my daughter turned 13 or so, and they loved that; I just found a recipe online and they put all the ingredients in cute little jars. Another time I made extra-big sugar cookies and let them decorate them to look like mini-pizzas: red frosting for sauce, fruit strips cut in circles for pepperoni, cut up gummi bears for green peppers and pineapple, etc. They LOVED the activity although I’m not sure they ate much of the cookies.
Another thing you might consider is hiring an inflatable of some sort, if your yard is big enough. My kids have gone to several parties with water-slide-type inflatables and those were a huge hit.
We’ve done quite a few of our birthday parties at our house. I find that a lot of times, the kids just want to run around and have fun. Playing kid music is sometimes fun if Elizabeth isn’t super shy about dancing with her friends.
I like the notion of squirt guns but I always get the cheap kind with the “one pump, one squirt” finger trigger so the kids don’t get too wet (like super soakers are WAY TOO much water).
I really like the idea of letting them do manicures on each other–fun picking out bright colors, stickers, etc. but very little actual effort from you!
Depending on how severe the dairy allergy is, you might want to ask the parents for suggestions for a pizza-replacement meal (they are VERY used to meal-replacement!) and to make sure that the cupcakes/frosting are okay (if they’re made with milk or butter). I find that fruit-based popsicles are usually a hit for outdoor parties and would allow the dairy-free child to enjoy a birthday treat.
I am halfway through Hausfrau and am at what appears to be one of the stages you went through: Give up? Oh but I’m already halfway through… Stage. Now I’m teetering between Give Up Now or Glutton for Punishment. So conflicted!
Okay, off to read the rest of this post!
In my middle age, I have decided that life is too short to read all the books I want to read, so I no longer slog through books that have failed to win my love. I don’t have a set number of pages I make myself read, even. If I’ve read enough that I want to know how something turns out, I dig around on the Internet until I find out. So far, I have always thought, “Yeah, that would not have made me glad I kept reading.”
That book is The Worst. That is all.
I haven’t read the other comments so I hope I’m not repeating someone. The presents is where it always flies apart for me. It’s helpful to have a separate table for guests to put their presents on when they arrive, and then have the birthday girl and everyone else at a *different* table, seated, for presents. It was worse when they were younger and everyone wanted to “help” open gifts, but the kids always get excited and crowd around the opener. That makes it hard to see (I like to write down what she’s getting so she can do thank yous later) and also more likely that small pieces get lost. Oh! Often the person who gave a gift is in a red hot hurry for the birthday girl to actually open the packaging and take it out, and things get lost. I just tell them, No, no NO we are not opening any packaging, sorry.
Also, two hours is plenty. I’m always exhausted.
Another thing I do is take a picture of the person who gave the gift with the birthday kid. That way I don’t have to write down who gave what, and you make sure you have photo documentation of every guest. If Elizabeth is the kind who likes to write thank you cards, it’s nice to throw a copy in there too. That’s always my plan but I don’t think it’s ever actually happened.
Oh! Also, a fun game we’ve played is shrinking islands. It’s like musical chairs, but easier. Put a blanket down on the ground. Have the kids walk around it while you play music. Stop the music and everyone jumps on. Now they get back off, you fold it in half, and then play music again. Again they walk, stop music, jump on. As it gets smaller it’s harder and harder for them to fit on, and anyone who can’t stand on is out. In the end, there’s only room for one person. Fun!
Someone already suggested decorating their own cupcakes – if you can handle the possible mess, I bet everyone would really enjoy that activity!
It sounds like you got this! Sometimes simple, low-key parties are the most fun for everyone involved. If you have a party at a roller rink, for example, there’s probably going to be at least one kid who doesn’t like roller skating or doesn’t know how. The simpler the activity, the more likely it is that everyone will want to participate. Generally speaking, all the kids really want to do is hang out with each other anyway!
A few tips:
1) I like the idea of having the kids decorate their cups as they arrive, but it’s also fun to just put out a bunch of art supplies and let them make whatever they want. Or you could have some cups for them to decorate if they want to, but also put out paper, markers, glitter glue, pipe cleaners, etc. Also, cover the table in butcher paper so they can draw directly on it. For some reason kids appear to think that’s way more fun than just drawing on regular paper, and it’s easy to clean up since you just have to take off the paper.
2) As for drinks, have you considered lemonade? It’s festive and summer-y without being soda. Buy a big jug of it or make your own.
3) In my opinion, the best party foods are “build your own” type things–pasta with various sauces, pancakes with different kinds of syrup and fruit, taco bars, etc. That way everyone can make what they want and picky eaters/kids with allergies don’t have to worry about being served something they don’t like or can’t eat. Taco bars tend to be the easiest: all you have to do is make a big batch of taco meat, heat up a couple cans of refried beans and some taco shells, and put out things like salsa, sour cream, cheese, and guacamole. Easy, and most kids will eat it.
4) When I was growing up, my dad would always put together a treasure hunt for my birthday party every year until I was about eleven or twelve. He’d write a bunch of clues and hide them all over the house, with each one leading to the next. The last clue would always lead to the goodie bags. That was always a HUGE hit–like, every year when I’d invite my friends to my birthday party every year, they’d always say, “Is there going to be a treasure hunt again this year?” If you don’t want to put in the effort of writing and hiding all the clues, maybe it would be a fun project for your older kids? (It also means Elizabeth won’t have to be concerned about some people not getting prizes, because everyone works together and everyone gets a prize.)
5) Set up a photo booth–hang up a sheet or curtain as the backdrop, and then put out a bunch of silly accessories: hats, sunglasses, feather boas, or whatever else you have in the dress-up box. Then have the kids dress up and take silly photos. (In this case it would probably be best to have another adult or older kid around, so they can man the photo booth while you deal with other things.) Girls this age tend to LOVE things like that, and if you have the parents’ email addresses you can send them the photos after the party is over. Or better yet: have the girls decorate picture frames at the party to put the photos in. (You can get the photos printed later, and then Elizabeth can mail them or hand them out at school.)
6) If weather permits, water fights are always a hit. Just make sure to mention on the invitations that everyone should bring a swimsuit.
“Every year when I’d invite my friends to my birthday party every year…” Uhh, redundant much? Oops.
Oh man, I LOOOOOOOVED treasure hunts as a kid — both creating and solving them! I remember my parents doing something similar at least once for my birthday, but more often my friends and I just made them for each other. So fun.
Renting a jumpy house has long been my must-have for backyard parties as it occupies kids of many ages for the entire time. However, as this is all 10 year old girls, I would lean toward a more specifically “themed” party. I think theming is helpful because it makes all the little decisions along the way easier, you pick the color/design whatever that fits the theme best. Like a Tween Dream party with lots of loud dance music. Maybe have someone come and put streaks/chalk/braids in their hair. Or face painting that looks like “make-up”. Since we are heading into summer – maybe cool flip-flops or sunglasses as favors, a lip glosses. I would not let the dairy allergy prevent me from serving actual food – both my kids have nut allergies and I have brought my own cupcakes (and epi-pens) to every B-Day party they have been to forever, and for that reason I ALWAYS stay. I liked the Luau idea too – ham sandwiches on Hawaiian rolls and a big fruit salad – and lots of Lei’s. If it’s deeper into the summer you could even get a slip n’ slide and pretend they are surfing, limbo contests, relays balancing coconuts on spoons, etc. Anyway, I always love a theme!
Agree that a theme – however simple or minimal – actually helps make the party easier and also serves to make it seem way more planned/fun. The theme can be as simple as “pink” and then you have pink lemonade, pink plates and napkins, decorate your own pink cupcakes with pink candies, do a pink painting craft to take home, have a pink silly string fight, paint your nails various shades of pink, decorate your own pink flip flops, have a pink flower piñata, eat pink glazed donuts off a string, search for some kind of pink wrapped candies you’ve pre-hidden all over the yard etc… Or ‘cats’ (doesn’t Elizabeth like cats?) or rainbows, or beach, or whatever…
Having a theme doesn’t have to make it all pinterest-y…it just ties it all together.
Re. goodie bags – maybe there is 1 nicer thing Elizabeth can give to all her guests rather than a bag of things from the dollar store. Perhaps a coupon for an ice cream cone (sherbet for the dairy allergy) if you have a nice little ice cream cone place in your town (roll up the coupon, put it in a balloon, blow it up, tie on a string, guests take a balloon home and pop it to find out what the surprise paper is). Or find a craft or toy on sale and buy a dozen and everyone gets a nice-ish take home gift. Or, as others have said, if they do a big craft as part of the party, that becomes the take home thing and you’re all done.
I bought store-brand bottled water for my daughter’s first birthday party, and wrapped festive Duck Tape around it. I bought this roll: http://www.amazon.com/Beacon-2-Inch-10-Yard-Multi-Cupcake/dp/B00JBFFXNO/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1431987957&sr=8-3-fkmr0&keywords=cupcake+print+duck+tape and wrapped it around 24 bottles the night before the party. I tossed them into an ice tub an hour before the party.
We also had canned sodas, fruit juice (for kids) and beer, since it was a gathering with mostly our own family.
Treasure hunts have been a hit at our birthday parties (you can find pre written clues online) and 2 hours should be the max time for kids parties, in my humble opinion.
If the guest’s food allergy is severe, please ask the mom or dad if they want to stay. My daughter has anaphylactic food allergies and I stay unless the hosting parent has epipen training (nurses, paramedics, parents of other kids with epipens). I don’t expect anything other than somewhere to stand, and I will even go wait in parked car for two hours. Mine is still six, so maybe elizabeth’s friend is better at telling what she can and can’t eat.
And if you are serving dairy products to the non-allergic guests, please make sure to have them wash up afterwards.
I have done at home parties and I find the planning easier if I have a theme. If Elizabeth would like an art party, you can get inexpensive watercolors and paper (watercolor pencils and crayons really reduce the mess, I buy them at blick art supplies), beads and beading wire, tote bags and fabric gel pens.
You can do all the crafts outside if it’s nice, and if not, they are still too busy to trash your house :)
I’ve also done a gems and geology party, a fashion design party, and I’ve been to a makeover party. If Elizabeth has a theme I bet we could crowdsource the activities for you :)
I’m glad you thought the cup thing is a good idea, I always do it. I will give a tip, and that is, get some solo cups or just a tougher cup in general for that because we used kind of papery party cups this past weekend for my six year old girl’s party and they got a little week. I don’t know if you’d want to mess with this but I made punch for the party and it was a giant hit. I started it years ago and damned if my kids don’t love it. It’s simple, I just do one thing of sherbet, half a giant thing of fruit punch, and a 2 liter bottle of sprite. I ran out of punch, with only 15 kids and I wished I had had another thing of sherbet. We just had fruit punch and sprite, and I ended up pouring that in but those six year olds were *freaking out*! “This is so spicy! Can I have some of that OTHER punch?” Ha! But if you have a big bowl, it’s a nice option because there’s no trash from it and as I said, they really liked it.
Our guests were six so, younger, but it really went well and it does go fast. I had pizza and cake, we got the pizza for like 11:30, so up until then the kids made their cups and got punch, I had out some cheese goldfish and popcorn left over from what I sent in to her classroom on Thursday. We ate pizza at 11:30 and then did cake at around 12:00 and we did have her open gifts, I find kids really do like to watch their gift being opened, but I laughed when I read what you wrote because I totally do it because anything to fill the time! Doing that, and having them play around in the yard (we have a small bounce house and trampoline, mostly for my son, but it’s a hit at parties) and we had some dress up stuff out in the toy room and boom! at 1:00 it was over. Cupcakes ARE so much easier, I wished I had them but I have to buy a giant delicious Costco cake for $18 because I am addicted.
Oh, a few moms stayed, one of them who stayed brought her two year old but I didn’t care, my three year old was here too so it was fine. Another was just staying, she made it kind of clear and that was fine too, maybe her daughter was funny about it, maybe she was, but she basically could talk to the other mom so I could get stuff done. Even if they stay, you will probably be busy, or SEEM busy, and then you won’t have to talk too much.
We also had music, just our phone with a Radio Disney channel from Spotify on it playing on our stereo thingy. It was fine and I think that Veronica, my birthday girl, had a really good time. It’s so hard to get ready but in the end I was glad. I hope it goes great!
That punch is Fantastic. I did that for a shower I threw. Everyone loved it. I used rainbow sherbet and it was very tasty and pretty. I was just thinking that would be the kind of girly and grown-up feeling thing girls that age would like.
This makes me simultaneously excited for and dreading my daughter’s future birthdays. So much to think about! I love your idea for the drop off and pick up language on the invitation.
I would set out some paper bags (fancy ones if you feel like it, lunch sacks if you don’t) for them to decorate and then make a make-your-own-trail-mix station. I did that for my second grade class at the end of the school year one year and they were THRILLED.
I also suggest face paint. You can make your own with non-toxic regular kids paint mixed with 50% clear hand soap. It works better than the store bought face paint and doesn’t stain. (I bought store bought face paint for a birthday party and everyone had stained faces for two days afterward.) Put it in little jars (baby food sized jars are excellent) and paint brushes and let them paint each other’s faces. This is also something I’ve done with my class when I was teaching elementary school and it was so popular I started doing it every Friday for behavior rewards.
I’d also do some kind of theme, just a loose one. Just something as simple as paper palates, napkins, and cupcake picks.
As some others said, PIÑATA. Then they can make their own goody bags from the loot. We do this with every kid and its great. We also have a general rule that the birthday kid goes first and then it’s youngest to oldest, and everyone gets n (for small n – 3 ish) whacks before the next person gets a turn. It kills time, and it’s fun, and you don’t have to pre-make treat bags. If you have any Mexican supermarkets nearby they often have amazing, huge piñatas for pretty cheap.
Granted, my birthday party experience only goes up to five year-olds, but so far I have hosted every party for Felicity at home, so I have some relevant experience, I think.
1. Plan more activities than you’ll need. Running around the yard may or may not work, depending on group dynamics and so forth, so you need a bunch of back-ups (also in case it rains). I had a written-out list for our parties so that I wouldn’t forget all the brilliant plans I had made. Some games were a hit and some weren’t, or didn’t take as much time as I needed them to, so it was great to have extra ones on the list.
Some suggestions for very easy games/activities: piñata (as suggested by many others above); Hot Potato (you can get a cheap Hot Potato toy that plays music on Amazon); water balloon toss; egg race (if you’re ok with eggs breaking in your yard); bean bag toss or ring toss; any kind of relay race; scavenger hunts for the goody bags (I made up poems for each kid that were riddles for them to solve that would give them the location of their bag, but that was for a much smaller group; for this size group, I’d do a series of clues, one leading to the next and ending at the goody bags); Red Rover; Mother May I?; Red Light/Green Light; passing an orange down the line without using their hands; freeze dance using an iPod playlist.
2.. I always just offer those little kid-sized water bottles as the only drink for the kids. I realize I’m a Grinch for not serving juice, but there is so much other sugar being poured into them that I find it balances things out. That said, I love the idea of a big jug of lemonade that others have suggested.
3. I definitely agree with the arrival activity, because there will be at least a 15 minute window of people showing up, and you can’t start an organized group activity until everyone’s there. Making paper crowns, decorating something (cups, etc) with stickers/markers, or some party-related craft are all good time-consumers.
4. I’ve been having F open her presents at the party because I think many kids find it deflating to bring a present and not get to see it opened. AND because it takes up TIME! Here, it’s mixed; at most venue-based parties, they don’t open the gifts, but at some of the home-based parties I’ve been to, they do.
As a mom of a kid who had milk allergies, if you make or buy dairy-free cake and frosting, you will make that kid’s day. I think we used to buy regular Dunkin Hines mix, because I don’t bake much, and it had no milk or casein/whey in it. Or ask her parents what they recommend.
BTW, as a kid I always loved backyard parties the most!
Yes definitely piñata. If I went to a backyard party as a 10 year old & there was no piñata I’d be ?!
Give out the plastic goody bags to fill up w the candy that falls out. When each child’s bag is filled they’re done collecting (so every child gets some). As children fill, twisty tie the bag, write their name on it, tell them they get it at pick up time. Activity/goody bag all in one.
Red rover, telephone, tag all worked for us.
Yes to fruit punch, lemonade, water. I wouldn’t give pop/soda to a bunch of ten year olds but that’s me. I wouldn’t do alcohol either..just seems sketchy at a kid party on a Sunday.
Definitely need more than just cupcake imo or it looks…chimsy. Ask the pizza place to cut in 16s instead of 8s…goes further.
I think if the dairy girl rsvps yes you should just contact her parents and ask them what to do. Way easier than guessing. One year I had a guest with diabetes, one that was lactose-intolerant, and one that had smashed their pancreas in some freak bicycle accident. Mom had fun with that one.
Finally: the last big party I had at home, one of the parents dropped off their kid… then came back awhile later with their two (large) dogs… are yard was so open she thought they might like the chance to run around for awhile ?? Loll. Prepare for anything.
I’d suggest bubbles for the backyard part…it seems like a good time filler.
Also, how about lemonade or Capri sun pouches for the drink?
Hmm…trying to think of other helpful party tips.
There’s so many great ideas in these suggestions! I’m writing them down for future parties :)
One of my favorite games to play around Elizabeth’s age was Sardines. It was almost always a game at my birthday parties, although I know that my mom would always set clear limits (backyard only, don’t break anything, etc.)
We only had backyard parties when I was growing up, and my mom said that one of the nice things about it was that so many of our friends had bounce house/laser tag/Chuck E. Cheese parties that the simple activities she planned seemed really novel and exciting because no one else did them.
Maybe a linen tablecloth–or just a large flat place-mat or doily–that all the guests can sign as they arrive, and your daughter could keep it as a souvenir of Turning Ten? Or add signatures/messages to at a future birthday? (For weddings an anniversaries and birthdays, I love the idea of tablecloths with guests’ penned signatures that are embroidered later.)
A fake photo booth (just someone with a camera), a “Happy 10th birthday, Elizabeth!” sign, and an assortment of party hats, over-sized sunglasses, mustaches, boa scarves, etc. for silly party photos?
I like the idea of having guests decorate cupcakes. Or even just set out 10+ small cups or cones of scooped ice cream in a dish-tub of crushed ice and have the kids add their own toppings to make their own ice cream sundaes.
Pre-printed pages or blank cards with questions for the guests (“What will Elizabeth love about being 10?” “What do you love about the birthday girl?” “A favorite Elizabeth story/memory?” Whatever) set out with markers, stickers, etc. that you can have them add to a binder or folder as a guestbook/card collection for Elizabeth?
10 is fun! :) Good luck planning.
One of my son’s grade school friends was very allergic to dairy and nuts. His mother would always bring a green salad with chicken on it, and a cupcake, so he’d have something to eat. Even when I offered to serve green salad with chicken on it to the whole party, she’d still bring it. I think she had control issues (and he was VERY allergic). Anyway, if Elizabeth wants pizza, you might drop the mom an email and tell her that and ask what you can serve that her daughter can eat. Maybe you can just get one without cheese, or something. Or serve green salad with chicken on it as a side dish. :)
With severe allergies, I think it’s not so much control issues as not knowing whose allergen-handling skill-sets to trust. One of my friends has a child with a severe peanut allergy, and people will be sincerely and good-heartedly and considerately and carefully trying to make something that is peanut-free, and yet will still innocently make mistakes, like not realizing that seemingly-peanut-free Ingredient X has peanuts in it. One reason I’m nervous about the child with severe dairy allergies is that I’m so ignorant of dairy-allergy issues: I think I could even do something idiotic such as carefully choose a dairy-free cake mix and then, whistling merrily, put a tablespoon of milk into the frosting. ACK!
Nerf gun parties are popular here for 10 year olds. Everybody brings their nerf guns and hosts supply loads of ammo and everyone shoots everyone and trades guns and teams up and trades teams and whatnot to infinity. The girls who come to our house enjoy it as much as the boys. See how much a bounce house runs at your hardware store. For $120 ish our hardware store will deliver, set up, take down the bounce house.
Dang, these are some good party ideas. By FAR the most popular thing we’ve ever done at backyard parties are Diet Coke/mentos geysers. You can google it and there’s also a special tube you can buy on Amazon, but it’s essentially just dropping mentos into a 2 liter of diet coke (diet so it isn’t sticky). We will get one two liter per kid and let each kid have a turn (helped by an adult) and everyone loves it. A dad did once think we were giving his five year old a 2 liter of diet coke as a party favor, but that kind of just adds to the awesome.
Loll that’s hilarious/awesome!
Swistle, as the parent of a child with severe allergies, I just wanted to say how touched I was that you had thought of the dairy-allergic friend. An email to the parents letting them know what you plan to serve (so they can bring an allergy-safe version), and asking if there is anything you can do to help their child enjoy the party (i.e. they might bring non-candy treats for piñata time), would mean a tremendous amount.
Also – I saw a poster above making a light joke about the mom of a severely allergic child who seemed to have “control issues.” I just wanted to say how much these little comments hurt parents like me. Reading that anecdote about the mom and the salad, and the idea that someone might roll their eyes, pierced my heart a little. My boy is anaphylactic to multiple common foods. A well-meaning adult handing him the wrong cup, from which someone eating cake had just taken a sip, could be disastrous. Or if his fork touched a smear of ice cream on a table cloth. Or if the same knife or cutting board is used for his food and a food containing dairy, egg, nuts, etc. And on and on. I know most people have never considered the kind of terrible, relentless vigilance that life-threatening food allergies require of a parent. But please know that the mother with the salad is just trying to help her child be a part of a celebration. Mary, sorry to put you on the spot. I know you probably didn’t mean anything hurtful.
It’s really hard for parents who do not have a child with life-threatening allergies to grasp the cross-contamination issues involved. Those with severely allergic younger kids have to have control issues – absolutely! I’m sure they’d rather look like a control freak than spend the night in the ER. One other big thing to know for the party host: Hand sanitizer does not equal allergen-free hands! Wash with soap and water!
All that said, as a host, there’s only so much you can do. I would still serve the pizza (because Elizabeth wants it), but I would mention it on the invitation. When/if the mom of the child with allergies RSVPs, inquire is there’s something you could serve that’s more suitable for her to eat. If the mom then says she’ll send something, just let her send something.
I’m not a parent of a severely-allergic child, but I have nannied for several and I also have food-handler’s training, so I’m super-vigilant about cross-contamination with allergens. It’s incredibly frustrating (and honestly feels a little insulting) when a parent explains their kiddo’s allergies in detail and I do an hours-long clean of my kitchen and prepare all the food to fit their needs, and then the parent shows up with separate food anyway. I absolutely don’t mind doing the work, but honestly, I’d rather just know in advance if you’re going to bring your own food so I can relax on that front.
I’d prefer to figure it out in advance, too. I don’t mind at all if a parent doesn’t know my allergen-avoiding skillz set and would rather not gamble their child’s life on it, but I do mind if the plan changes.
This is why I would just let the mom bring food for her own child!
Man, I love so many of the ideas here. My preschooler wants a birthday party this year. I’m going to try to convince her to go to Disneyland instead (we live in SoCal), but if I can’t, I’ll be rereading these comments for sure.
I just want to add my voice to the chorus recommending a treasure hunt. We used to do this when I was a kid and our extended family would get together. My sister was excellent at clue-writing, and my mom would buy a big batch of mixed candy, divide it all up into ziploc bags, and use that as the treasure. I liked it so much better than the few parties I went to that had pinatas because you don’t have to elbow everybody else out of the way to get treats, or worry that more timid kids will get stuck with two pieces of candy (as I did, ahem). You can also write kids’ names on the bags and tailor the candy to eliminate chocolate or things with nuts for kids with allergies.
Swistle! This is the perfect party! I’ve been throwing a version of this for eight years for my son and daughter. We have kids that attend who are allergic to dairy, gluten, peanuts, air. We order pizza but then I get a frozen mini soy cheese pizza for the kid with the dairy allergy and an alternate dairy free treat for cake time.
It sounds like you have the activities covered. I love the suggestion up thread for mentos and soda rockets. Last year we did giant bubbles. Here’s a link to the recipe: http://happyhooligans.ca/homemade-giant-bubbles/ you can get glycerin at Michael’s in the Wilton baking aisle.
Instead of gift bags what about a pinata? Dum Dum lollipops are free of all the major allergens. The rest of the stuff could be non food. At Target they have those little ball maze things (tiny metal ball that you tip through a maze) in the Spritz section. Five Below probably has some good stuff too. Plastic bracelets, self inking stamp pads, lip gloss, cute erasers.
Two hours is perfect. It’s good that you have activities but I think part of the charm of this kind of party is that the kids just run around and play. I always feel nervous when I have to do planned activities. I never feel like they are long enough and I’m always beaming into the kid that looks bored and fretting. Do you have one of those parachutes like from gym class? One year I got a bunch of balls and let the kids do “popcorn”
I’m going back to read the comments for inspiration for this year’s party. Good Luck! Please write a recap post party :)
Love these ideas for the pinata fillers. I would much rather my kids come home from a party with fun junky toys I won’t feel bad about throwing away in a few days than a bag full of candy I have to police. I love giving out party favors but if you don’t want to, my kids have never noticed when they’ve gone to parties without favor bags.
Ouch, didn’t mean to sound insensitive re: air. Bad, dumb.
Your party is going to be great. Just don’t stress out — keep it as low-key as YOU want it. One thing I’ve done instead of goodie bags (hate the junk) is buy a $3 gift card for each attendee to the local ice cream or frozen yogurt place. I think once I handed them out with a lollipop attached.
I’m betting the kids will find ways to entertain themselves (why do they just like to run around and squeal? It baffles me but is so cute). Can’t wait to hear the post-party report!
Wow, I’m really surprised at the number of people here who are saying that a pinata is a must. We’ve done pinatas a few times, at the request of my youngest, and they have been of mixed success at best. Issues: it’s often hard for the kids to actually break it open, so it takes FOREVER, and with 12 guests it will take FOREVER until your turn comes around, so people get bored and go off to do other things; if items fall in the grass, you suddenly have a dozen kids clawing at your lawn, with some items certain to go missing, while if it’s indoors, there’s limited space for everyone to scrabble, and some kids end up with nothing; if you have a food allergy, it’s very hard to go the simple “candy” route and you’ll spend a fortune on bouncy balls, little rings, and toys from the dollar store (a pinata holds a LOT more than you’d think).
Also, given that Elizabeth is turning 10, I think a pinata is maybe too “little kid” like for her crowd.
We have done many home parties and we’ve found that boys are happy to have free form, let’s run around and play stuff, but girls prefer more structure and organized activities. You might still get a few who are running around and playing, but you’ll have at least half gazing up at you with big eyes wondering what you have planned for them. Two hours goes by pretty fast, though – if you plan maybe two or three things, along with present opening and snack, that should be enough.
We have always had success with decorate-your-own cupcakes – each girl gets a cupcake and there are bowls with sprinkles, marshmallows, chocolate chips, etc. for decoration. Just make sure to pull the bowls away after a set period of time (maybe 10 minutes) or you’ll have serious sugar highs to deal with. If you are feeling adventurous you can mix up a couple colours of icing and let them ice the cupcakes, too – I think at age 10 they should be able to handle it easily.
We did an outdoor party last summer and it helped keep things fresh by bringing out certain things at certain times – i.e. “and here is some bubble stuff! Go crazy” and “and now, here are some water balloons, go crazy” and then “and now, here is a fun craft, go crazy” — Rather than just having everything sitting out right from the start. If it looks like rain, be sure to have some crafts on hand – something as simple as bead stringing is good.
Lastly, I second the idea to have goody bags be “one big thing” rather than a bag of little things – I just like it better as a parent.
About the piñata – those are some good points & bring up some things I thought were common knowledge-y but aren’t.
For stuffing: you stuff with just the amount of candy you need/want and then either insert a piece if cardboard or Easter “grass” (or even nothing) to fill it up. We never bought stuff just to make it full. I’ve also never heard of one with anything besides candy – that’s cool.
You cut the bottom open reall wide & only tape it closed w scotch so nothing falls out. Then it’s way easier to break.
Second the distaste for pinatas–I was a children’s birthday party coordinator at a health club for eight years, and piñata parties were always the ones where someone started crying, or pouting, or throwing a fit, or becoming physically aggressive, or complaining about “No fair!”, or just being a general asshat. That, and the pinatas were often tough to break apart, so the child’s older sibling or even parent would have to be the one to dismantle the thing in the end. I watched it play out time after time.
I totally second your thoughts about pinatas. Boring, takes a long time (not in a good way), and then turns into Lord of the Flies. There’s a reason so many AFV videos feature pinatas! Also, ten is definitely on the outside age range for one in my area.
I was starting to think I was totally alone in my distaste for pinatas. Both of my kids have cried at parties with pinatas because once they burst, other kids raced in like maniacs, elbowing them out of the way, and they ended up with nothing. This wasn’t just one time, it happened at every party at which there was a pinata that either of my kids attended 6 years apart. It might be better with older kids, but after Oldest got to be about 6 or 7 we never saw them again at parties and we are eagerly awaiting their disappearance from parties Youngest attends.
However, so many other great ideas there that I’ve started keeping a list for Youngest’s 6th birthday party in July. Your commenters are life savers!
you know the store bought piñatas are basically a cardboard box and take forever to even break open—we did it once and never again
We had at home parties every year except one for my son, from ages 5 to 11 (after which he stopped wanting parties) and every year from 4 to 9 for my daughter (the last two were slumber parties). I think it’s unlikely she will stop at 11.
Consistently popular: Piñatas and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey (or variants, we’ve done pin-the-tail-on-the-cat, pin-the-leg-on-the-spider, pin-the-ring-on-Jupiter, and pin-the-wing-on-the-bat). We’ve never done this but she went to a party once where they did a sack race and the kids loved it. That seems like it might fit in with what you’re planning.
I like a mix of quiet activities (board game, crafts) and running around like maniacs because different kids will have different needs in terms of (over)stimulation and that way everyone’s happy some of the time.
I hope I don’t come across as a mom with control issues either. When my kids were diagnosed with severe food allergies, I was told that if the median time from ingestion to cardiac arrest is fifteen minutes. FIFTEEN.
Usually contact with a small amount of the allergen just results in some hives. But it depends on so many factors – weight, amount of allergen, how much other food the child just ate, how active the histamine system is on that day – that the doctors said they can’t predict what will happen.
So I stay.
I hope your guest’s allergy is less severe, but please don’t think the mom is some kind of psycho for sticking around or bringing her own food, if she does.
Yes, and I’ve heard people suggest that if there’s an allergic reaction you can “just use an epipen”. The epipen buys your child maybe 10 or 15 minutes, according to my allergist. That might make all the difference, but who in their right mind would think it’s worth chancing it with their child’s life?
I know it’s hard to comprehend if you don’t have an allergic child yourself. Many people don’t believe in allergies, which????
Also, in regard to the backyard party idea, I think kids today really enjoy more low-key activities like that. Everything in their lives seems to be so regimented and geared toward success in life that just enjoying being with their friends is delightful. I’d have ideas for games, etc., but I think they’ll all love a more relaxed party. Hiring teenagers to do the nails/hair thing sounds fabulous to me!
Of course I would be fine with the mother staying (nervous about how/if to entertain her, but not at all thinking she was a psycho—as I said, I used to stay at parties with Elizabeth just because she WANTED me to), and I’d in fact prefer she bring food for her child. Elizabeth has a tree nut allergy that has so far been non-life-threatening, but if it WERE life-threatening, I don’t think I would want to put her life in the hands of someone whose allergen-avoiding skillz I wasn’t familiar with.
Wow. People are really coming through with great ideas!
I have a fond memory of making puffy paint T-shirts at a party. . .
As long as the weather is cooperative I find backyard parties easy for activities and clean-up. We just had my son’s backyard party and we did a little obstacle course that was a huge hit. I tried to use a combo of backyard toys we already owned and bought a few things. They ran around the yard to various stations. We had an egg walk station (walk from one point to another balancing an egg on a spoon…plastic eggs and spoons from Party City), sack race, dig through a tub of balls to find a small ninja toy (this was a boy’s party could obviously choose whatever small item the birthday party child likes), crawl through a tunnel, dig through a sandbox for a small ball. I found this was a fun activity and the winner just got a congratulations because all the kids got “prizes” when they dug through the balls and sand box. To take up more time I then had them do the egg race and sack race individually just for fun. It was like a little field day and they loved it.
I second opening presents at the party because it takes up time! Good luck and I hope the weather is beautiful!
If it looks like it’s going to be an indoor party, you can plan to do photo booth pics like they have at wedding receptions now. It means having props gathered, a backdrop such as a sheet hung up, someone (a teen?) taking pictures and somebody else printing them out to take home. IMO that’s a great favor for kids because it isn’t junk. If you want a party craft, they can decorate a foam frame for it with stick-on jewels.
I have to say, I generally hate the plastic crap that most people do for favours and have a mini-war with my husband over it as he seriously thinks that the favours are the best part for the kids. If it were up to me we wouldn’t do them at all, so we compromise and either give something crafty and non-plastic, or $5 gift cards to the local bookstore.
My son is a June baby, so we always to outside parties for him. One year I went to Home Depot and bought wooden dowling and string and looked up a recipe for the soap solution and we made GIANT BUBBLES. We went to the park to do the bubbles and let the kids play at the splash pad there as well. Everyone got to bring their wands home as favours.
Now that we have a pool, we have pool parties: swimming followed by pizza or BBQ hotdogs, drink boxes, cupcakes or ice cream cake. Done. We invite parents to stay because there’s that many more eyes on the pool, at least 1 adult is in the pool with the kids at all times, and anyone that isn’t a super-strong swimmer wears a flotation device. We also lay down the ground rules regarding no running, safe water play, etc.
My daughter is now 9 and she’s a winter baby, so her parties have been indoors: pizza-and-a-movie at home, a dance party event that coincided with her birthday so we just bought all the kids tickets, etc.
Don’t worry though, 2 hours goes by FAST!
Commenting AGAIN to say that I hate and despise pinatas for all the reasons mentioned, lord it takes forever, I hate to see kids pushing and shoving to get to candy, those damned things are so hard, ugh. I also don’t do gift/favor bags anymore. I did them for my oldest’s first and second birthdays and then stopped, because I dream of living in a world where we don’t do gift bags and that dream starts with me.
Ha! You and me both.
I don’t have kids, but I hated piñatas as a kid! I was afraid of the stick (both when I was trying to hit and when others were swinging it). oh and then the sadness when I only ended up with one measly piece of candy. One mom gathered up all the candy and distributed it so we would all get our fair share. But maybe I was a weird kid ( I also hated public Easter egg hunts).
Love your ideas! I think it will be great! Great month for a birthday party! Two hours sounds perfect. Opening gifts and cake takes up a big chunk of time. So that’s great!
Just wanted to second the suggestion for non-sugary snacks–and access to food at all times. Even if its just two big bowls of pretzels/crackers/chips/whatever. Kids (and parents) always seem to be starving at parties. The worst party I went to as a parent there wasn’t any food out and everyone, EVERYONE was dying. Moms were digging in purses for old granola bars and kids without moms were looking sad they didn’t have an old granola bar! They FINALLY brought out ONE pizza and there was enough for each kid to have one slice and the parents were eating their kids leftovers in a starving fashion. Ha. So, that is my biggie! Water bottle for adults too! I have done at home parties every year because I’m too cheap to do them somewhere else and now its gotten much easier because the parents don’t stay as often.
Can’t wait to hear how it all goes! You’ll do great!
I’m not sure I have anything new to add but I wouldn’t totally rule out bounce houses for big kids. My daughter (same age as Elizabeth) still loves them and bounce house+squirt gun can be fun.
Also, I tend to err on the side of more structured activities, less running around with hula hoops but for unstructured time, big balloons are often a hit. the 15″ party store size are especially fun.
I second the idea of snacks other than cake (a giant bowl of homemade popcorn works well) and lemonade for a beverage.
Have fun! Two hours goes quick.
BUT WHAT IF IT RAINS???
Sorry, I’m an obsessive planner, so I would definitely have a back-up plan, even if it’s watching a movie in the living/family room.
We just hosted my son’s 10th bday party (but not at our house) and the celiac kid brought his own food & I made a dessert that could be assembled in different ways – a big chocolate sheet cake (not gluten free) and then strawberries with whipped cream (from a can). The gluten-free kid had strawberries with whipped cream (obviously not good for a dairy allergy). A dairy allergy may mean that a lot of baked goods are also off the table, not just the pizza. Maybe look for something labeled “vegan” or contact the parents in advance? In my case, the mom of the celiac kid told me she’d send something with him to eat that was safe, so I just went with pizza for the other kids.
Also, for each activity I planned, there were 1 or 2 kids who just weren’t that into it. I tried not to take it personally & they usually came around with the next activity.
We defaulted to opening presents at the party too, even though we’ve been to other parties where they don’t. One idea the party folks had for us is opening presents with the bday kid sitting in a chair & an empty chair next to bday kid. Then, as each present is opened, the gift-giver sits next to bday kid. It gave me a chance to take some cute photos & was really fun/enjoyable for the kids.
Whole Foods carries a dairy and gluten free chocolate chip cookie in a box:
http://www.pamelasproducts.com/products/cookies-and-biscotti/cookies/
They also have a school safe brand that is peanut and tree nut free:
http://www.treasuremills.com/products/
That’s a great idea to have the kid who gave the birthday girl/boy the gift to sit next to them.
Oh – and the bounce house was still popular with the 10 year old boys.
I love birthday parties at home!
Timing of party: I’ve found that 2 hours is PLENTY. With my youngest son I’ve started having his parties be only 1 1/2 hours. Once thing I’ve learned: No matter what you plan, you’ll end up with free time, so plan MORE and have EXTRA games/crafts (a board game such as Twister can fill the 20 minutes of “what do we do since we’ve finished all the games and cake and the parents won’t be here for another half an hour?”).
Food and drink: Cut the cake into very small pieces. Water is great, as are juice boxes. When I offered soda at earlier parties, they’d drink four sips then leave it, then ask for another cup 10 minutes later. Big waste. So water and juice boxes were what I’d offer. Lemonade was a good choice too for summer parties.
Games my kids have enjoyed: Freeze dance. Musical squares (think musical chairs, but with paper squares instead of chairs). Memory game (where you have a tray of 20 items and take one away after each minute, then at the end you go over the list and see who has the most correct). Pin the tail type game (I’d take a picture of my birthday child, enlarge it to poster size, laminate it, then have the kids stick a bow or a package — or something like that — on the birthday child). A huge favorite game from my daughter’s party (when she was 12?) was breaking the girls into small groups of 2 or 3, giving each group a bag of stuff (lots of dollar store items, ribbon, plastic table clothes, t-shirts, bows, duct tape, etc.) and having them design and make an outfit,followed by a runway show.
Parents attending: Some will because of many reasons (my youngest has social issues as well as food allergies, so I stay at parties if I don’t know the family well). Give them a job if you don’t know what to do with them! I loved having another parent take photos since I was so busy with the activities and food. Another can help with the food — a second set of hands for this is always welcome!
Goodie bags: After a gazillion parties I’ve given and my children have attended (okay, maybe that’s exaggerated just a bit), I prefer either no goodie bags or something instead, such as a $5 gift card to an ice cream store or to Target or other store the birthday child enjoys.
This should give you comfort: I recently hosted a FOUR HOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY IN MY HOME WITH 8 10-11 YEAR OLD BOYS. And I’m still alive. And the house is still standing. My son did not want any organized games at all. They all went in the basement and screamed a lot and laughed a lot. They played some Just Dance on the PS4, some of them built Legos. They ate a lot of chips. They came up for pizza and ice cream cake, and it was fine. I would suggest LESS time than four hours, but you’ve covered that. I found that at this age they all sort of occupied themselves with minimal intervention on my part. One child found the noise overwhelming so she came upstairs and petted the dog for 20 minutes. At one point they watched some of a movie, I think.
When I do loot bags I simply fill them with candy and gum. That’s all the kids really like anyway. I put them in brown paper bags that my son wrote names on, then I punched a hole in the top and tied with ribbon. Cute, cheap, fun.
My son asked for food bank donations instead of gifts, but some guests brought small gifts anyway (like a pack of Uno cards, a chocolate bunny, etc.)
I have done big parties at a gymnastics centre, and once I did have an uninvited sibling dropped off. She was older than the other kids and to be honest, it was awful. I had to keep her from bossing around the little ones and barreling in front of them. I hope that does not happen to you.
For drinks, I’d put out a juice box selection.
Wow, the suggestions above are great. I skimmed through, so I’m hoping I’m not repeating.
If you do a pinata, you can order/make a pull string one so there isn’t a bat or hitting. Although I guess 10-year-olds can probably handle the hitting one, but if you don’t want that.
We just did a birthday party outside where I found a huge container and froze (in layers, in my chest freezer, it took a few days beforehand) a bunch of trinkets in water. The kids had squirt bottles (cheap mustard/ketchup sets from the dollar store), salt shakers, toy hammers (robbed from little brother’s toy stash) and tried to melt/chip away at the ice to get the stuff out. It was fun! Some kids worked diligently the whole time and some would come and go. Plus it was “water” play without the kids getting soaked.
If you want to do some sort of game theme, google Minute to Win It ideas. There are a bunch of fun ideas from the game show that might update some of the old party games.
I recommend little water bottles and juice boxes/lemonade boxes.
Kids at parties have also loved the photobooth ideas mentioned above. I just hang up a disposable table cover, write on it with a Sharpie (Elizabeth is 10! or whatever). If you go on etsy and search for photobooth ideas you can get downloads of fun props for less than $10. I don’t have a color printer, so I just send them to FedEx/Kinkos on-line and have them printed on shiny cardstock. I pick up, cut out and tape a chopstick to it (leftover from too many take-out dinners).
I like the idea of a hired (a friend of Rob’s?) teenaged face painter.
If its hot I like to have an umbrella/pop-up tent or something with shade so you don’t have kids sneaking off into the house.
I like the idea of card games as favors – Uno, Old Maid, War, Crazy 8s. Maybe 5 Below or the Target $1spot has some.
(I haven’t read all the comments above)
What does Elizabeth want for dessert at her party? We once had dirt cups, which was a lot of fun (layers of chocolate pudding, layers of oreo cookie crumbs, with a gummy worm on top, though you’d need lactose free pudding). Sometimes we had ice cream cakes (usually bought from Baskin Robins). I also really enjoyed the cookie-cakes (basically an enormous cookie). We also had the traditional cake some years. But the choice was always up to the kid. Of course, we didn’t consider allergies as much in those days.
About the pizza, my husband went vegan for Lent this past year and on pizza Fridays, we got him a normal pizza, just without the cheese.
From my experiences with making rolls, sometimes bread dough has milk in it, though it can be made without. You might want to double check on the cake mix. If I recall correctly, Oreos are totally lactose free, which is kind of scary.
I’m not sure if Oreos are dairy-free, but the ones in Canada are definitely egg-free. They’re one of our fall-back bring-along desserts for our allergic son.
So, no dairy, no eggs, what the heck is in Oreos? Besides pure deliciousness and sugar of course…
We do birthday parties at home in an area where almost all the other kids do them at big fancy places. If anything I think the kids enjoy having a change of pace, a slightly different sort of party to attend.
Arrival activities are brilliant, decorating cups definitely works. Opening presents at the party has always gone well for us. If we’re lucky the kids want to open some of the presents and play with them which also takes up more time. We did a pinata once which went over really really well – it was one of those with a lot of little strings hanging down instead of the ones you hit with a stick. The other thing we’ve done that worked really well is cookie decorating – I bake a whole pile of big sugar cookies ahead of time (you can just keep them in the freezer for a few weeks) then mix up different colours of icing in little baggies and cut a tiny hole in the corner. It makes a mess but it isn’t something they get to do every day, and then you can pop the cookies into a baggie for them to take home in the goodie bags. Pin the horn on the unicorn also went really well – we let them decorate the horns before they pinned them on which also took up a bunch of time.
Final thought – for drinks at a birthday party we always do pink lemonade. It isn’t something any of the kids around here usually get, so it is a bit different and a lot fun. The other crazy drink I’ve seen is a punch bowl with sprite or 7Up poured over orange sherbet. It goes all fizzy and crazy and tastes delicious (and is dairy free).
Good luck!
Sorry, sherbet usually has milk in it.
time filler and fun game–2/1!! take all the little goodie bag treats and make a pike for each kid–take the crepe paper streamer stuff and wrap one of the goodies in it and keep wrapping and adding goodies until you have a baseball sized ball of goodies and paper, the paper should cover all the goodies, wrap the outside a few extra times and then tape it off. repeat until each pile is a ball–on party day show them the bowl of balls–have them sit in one room or outside like in one part of the yard and hide one in another part of the yard–whoever finds it gets to open it–keep going until everyone has one–we’ve wrapped parachute guys in the center, punching balloons, cheap gem rings, starbursts and all kinds of little treats in them—they’re quite fun!
we also decorated our own treat bags–use plain colored small gift bags, markers, stickers and have them put their name on it
and decorate your own cupcake is way to easy and fun–provide cupcakes, pre made frosting tinted a few colors and a bunch of sprinkles EASY!
My son is allergic to egg, but has to actually ingest it to react, so I always offer to supply any food the hostess needs and try to tactfully suggest kids wash their hands after the meal if there’s egg in the party food. Most people are happy to check if the pizza dough, hot dog buns, etc. contain egg and let me know or switch brands. The cake is usually the issue and I bring a cupcake in that case. The parents of the guest with the allergy can let you know what measures need to be taken in terms of avoiding contact with dairy at your party.
BTW, I’ve seen comments suggesting you avoid lactose, and as a lactose-intolerant person with a son who used to have a dairy allergy I just wanted to do a quick PR announcement: lactose is milk sugar and people with lactose intolerance have digestive issues with it, but if it’s been treated with an enzyme, or the person takes an enzyme supplement, it can often be gotten around; whereas a dairy allergy is a reaction to the milk protien, and the repercussions can be much more serious.
I didn’t read all the comments so I don’t know if this has been mentioned but, decorating/frosting your own cupcake can also be fun and take up time! ( I’m not sure about the severe dairy allergy kid and frosting). It also gives you a nice back up activity if you end up inside due to weather.
One activity my son liked when he was 8-11 was organizing a treasure hunt/mystery with clues for the guests to solve. He did that four birthday parties in a row.
I tend to be exhausted from cleaning/preparing before parties, so the less I have to do DURING the actual party, the better. The idea of “leading” kids in activities or games is unappealing and stress-inducing. I like to be in the background just making sure no disasters happen. For this reason, I would have three or four “stations” but organize/direct very little:
1.) water guns/squirters/water balloons/giant bubble maker in one corner of the yard. If it’s hot enough, you could do a slip’n’slide. So fun. For my niece’s party, this is ALL THEY DID for two hours. They didn’t care about anything else we had.
2.)plain white tank tops (cheap, so have a BUNCH – at least 2 per child) & puffy paint including glitter puffy paint.
3.) cupcake decorating and/or cup decorating
4.) OPTIONAL: glitter tattoo artist…and each kid takes home some glitter tattoo materials.
All of the above can definitely be done with your price point.
I think having a tattoo or even face painting person there would be fun and you could probably find that for a reasonable price. Otherwise girls + outside I think just buy all the outside stuff your kids always beg for but you never want to spend the $$ on (maybe I’m projecting. heh) Sidewalk paint, the bubble machine, squirt guns, silly string. It looks like Amazon sells a 12 pack for $20, so your yard would be a mess but I remember LOVING silly string and never being allowed to have it, so to me it’s definitely a party item.
I think with 2 hours, you figure the first 15 min is everyone arriving and greeting each other, then play for 45 min, then eat for 20-30, and if you do gifts then you are pretty much to the end of the party. They can play more to kill time if need be. I will keep my fingers crossed for good weather for you b/c as fun as the outside stuff sounds I don’t think I could handle 12 girls in MY HOUSE for two hours.
OH I AM SO EXCITED TO COMMENT ON THIS.
here are my suggestions!
first 45 minutes: arts and crafts station. i’m picturing 2 tables set up next to each other (you could do this inside, too) Have the following available:
http://www.orientaltrading.com/sticky-fish-shaped-collage-boards-a2-57_6093.fltr?prodCatId=550179 plus a bunch of old magazines so they can collage these cool fish
They can create their own goody bags: http://www.orientaltrading.com/diy-drawstring-backpacks-pcs-a2-48_2397.fltr?prodCatId=550179
Supply them with tons of fabric markers. Also, each kid can sign Elizabeth’s backpack. Or they can all sign each other’s.
Cups: http://www.orientaltrading.com/diy-cups-with-lids-and-straws-pcs-a2-57_9106.fltr?Ntt=diy%20cups or similar.
Also give them paper lunch bags and regular markers.
Next table over, have a make your own snack mix table–bowls with cheerios, goldfish, m&ms, chex, whatever. Kids can fill the bags they just decorated. You can also offer a big bowl of fun punch plus a pitcher of lemonade and one of water. 10 is old enough for them to be responsible for their own eating and hydrating needs.
One more table–have face paint or nail polish station. Kids can paint each other’s faces/nails.
second 45 minutes:
scavenger hunt! Tell the kids you are counting down from 30 (or have Rob or William do it) and they have to split themselves into three or four teams by the time you get to zero. Then each team gets a list. This is most fun if you can involve some neighbors, but it works if you just hide stuff in the backyard. Make what they have to find goofy–like a human pyramid and they have to show a ref (you, Paul, Rob, William) in order to check it off. If you can get neighbors involved, though, even better–give each neighbor a couple items that the kids have to ask for (you’d have to tell them in advance which houses to go to, obviously). Like a funny hat, or a dime from 1997, or whatever. Alternatively, you could do a treasure hunt with clues. Alternatively alternatively, if it’s a warm day, ask all the kids to wear white shirts that can be stained and give each kid a water shooter. Divide them into teams and have each time load their shooters with different colored water.
Make sure you have some backup games for this time–board games if you are inside, outside you can put out lawn games (bocce, etc).
last 30 minutes: decorate cupcakes (you can either frost them in advance or give them frosting), sing happy bday, eat cake!
Favors: the backpacks and cups and collages, and then put some candy in baggies as the last thing on the scavenger or treasure hunt, OR if you want to be especially awesome, buy book sets and do that instead:
http://www.amazon.com/Weird-but-True-Collectors-Boxed/dp/142631194X/ref=sr_1_15ie=UTF8&qid=1432149069&sr=8-15&keywords=book+sets+for+kids
We will expect a FULL REPORT WITH PICTURES.
I thought of a fun activity that I did as a child, that could work well at a birthday party (as long as no one is eco-crazy). We painted Styrofoam cups and then baked them in the oven, which causes them to shrink. I don’t remember how long, or at what temperature, but you might be able to find something online if you are interested.
Also, you can get a bag of rhinestones fairly cheap, and the girls might enjoy making crowns/wands for themselves, perhaps as a leaving activity. That could be a rather nice party favor, especially if the crowns are somewhat sturdy. If they pick the rhinestones they want at the beginning of the pick-up window, they could finish their crown at home.
The backyard birthday parties that I remember always had a piñata and a water balloon toss. We also did cake and opening presents. I also remember swimming in our pool when we got it, and I think we did other bathing suit activities like water guns before we had the pool.
The first thing that struck me as I read your post was how thoughtful Elizabeth is!! I LOVE that she is considering the prize situation and coming up with her own solutions to prevent hurt feelings and a potential party damper. I also really love the idea to create your own snack bowls, that would certainly be a big hit with my picky kids and they always need snacks. My favorite party activity is definitely a scavenger hunt, I remember them fondly from my childhood and I think it’s a brilliant idea to put the goody bags at the end. I know if you Google or Pinterest them you can find them for a variety of situations including one appropriate for the backyard or even indoors, this would take the pressure off worrying about weather since it would be fairly simple to print those off morning of if you had already narrowed down a couple of free printable contenders. Having older girls there to help with crafting projects would also be fantastic, my daughter would love the chance to hang out with someone a bit older since she looks up to them so much, and my 14 year old niece would be on cloud nine if she was tasked with this kind of job at party. Hope it all goes as planned!!
Everyone has been suggesting excellent activities, but it seems to me that your expert in 9-10 year old girls says they’ll want unstructured play time, and maybe a few low-key games. If every other party has a bounce house, then perhaps hula-hoops will be a novelty. Perhaps your rain plan can be some crafts, a scavenger hunt, and nail polish.
That book is so bad. I can’t believe all the good reviews it has… I finished it. Blah.
I donated it. I couldn’t pass that one along….