After writing yesterday’s post about attractiveness waning with age/fertility, it seemed fitting to spend the afternoon watching At Middleton, a movie that appealed to me because it is about a less-than-one-day affair between two people, Edith and George (not as old as they sound; SWISTLE, NAME-CONSULTING SERVICES, LET’S DO LUNCH), each of whom is old enough to have a college-aged child. Bonus: the actor playing Edith was 40 in real life, not, say, 8 years older than the actor playing the daughter. The actor playing George was more than 15 years older than the actor playing Edith; I will mention that without further comment.
Boy. I really didn’t like the movie. I am struggling to come up with adjectives. Forced. Fake. Embarrassing. There is a scene where Edith and George sit in on a college theater class. The class is doing one of those things where two students go up on stage and improvise a scene, pretending to be a married couple. It is, as you might expect, forced, fake, and embarrassing. Edith, unrealistically, speaks up in the middle of it, saying no married couple would talk to each other that way. The teacher, mistaking George and Edith for a married couple, tells George and Edith to give it a try. They produce a scene SO forced, fake, and embarrassing, I almost couldn’t watch it. At the end of their horrifying scene (“When did you stop loving me? Did you ever love me?”), there is slow, impressed clapping. Two of the students WORDLESSLY JOIN HANDS. It is the worst.
In fact, that is how I would describe it: THE ENTIRE MOVIE IS EXACTLY LIKE THAT SCENE. It feels as if the whole thing were produced by students sitting in a theater class trying to come up with Meaningful Emotional Scenes—as warm-ups, before doing real acting with real scripts. I kept being reminded wincingly of poetry I wrote in high school. A SETTING SUN SHINES THROUGH A KISS.
The dialogue was. It was just. I mean. I wish I’d taken notes so I could give exact quotes, because believe me when I say I am not going back for any. An adult says to a college student, “Not bad, kiddo. Not bad at all,” and the kiddo beams. One character asks another character “Are you happy?” One character insults another character she just met that morning by saying, “I know you better than you know yourself!” A college student says to his dad, “You were right, Dad.” I mean seriously. At one point, one of the parents briefly and politely interrupts a tour group to ask directions to a building her daughter is in. A parent in the group says, “Excuse me, but those of us who DIDN’T abandon our children would like to continue with the tour?” Why did that happen?
The meet-cute is NOT CUTE.
About half an hour in, I was pretty sure I was not going to like it. An hour in, I was actively suffering. But I COULDN’T stop watching it, because I was DETERMINED to see someone attracted to someone my age. Well. And what I saw was someone famous for being able to pretend to be things and feel things he isn’t/doesn’t, get paid to pretend to be attracted to someone my age, while I winced and suffered.
More movies to try, please. Actors who are, say, 40 and up. (Bonus points if the male lead is not 15-20 years older than the female lead.)
I know you’re not as old as Maggie Smith and Dame Judi Dench, but I really enjoyed The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel for interesting later life antics and romantic entanglements. And a sequel’s about to be released!
I liked that one, too!
I refuse to see movies where white people star in a movie with brown people as a backdrop, but glad to know it scores on this point at least!
I somewhat inexplicably loved _City Island_ and recommend it for these purposes. It’s the same lead actor as in _At Middleton_ (agreed– so terrible…despite Vera Farmiga being so good usually, the writing just bit), but I found him delightful and loved Julianna Margulies (she’s 48, wikipedia tells me) and Emily Mortimer in it.
Yes! I liked that one a lot! I think Netflix recommended At Middleton to me based on how much I liked City Island!
This doesn’t really fit your criteria, but have you seen “The Lunchbox”? It’s an Indian film that I saw recently and really loved. But it does feature a younger woman and an older man, so might not be what you’re in the mood for.
that is a great movie!
Have you watched The Thomas Crown Affair (the 1999 version with Pierce Brosnan and Rene Russo)? I recall hearing at the time that Pierce Brosnan insisted that his female costar be someone his age, and from what I recall of the movie (it’s been 15 years since I’ve seen it, obviously!), the chemistry between them was pretty good.
This is one that sprung to mind for me also.
I did see it, yes, and I remember hearing something like that—that it was Pierce Brosnan who insisted. It made me think more highly of him!
This is probably a bad idea because I have not seen the movie, but there is a movie with Laura Linney about Franklin Roosevelt and a woman he likely had at least an emotional affair with called Hyde on the Hudson. I am recommending it because I read a lot of presidential biographies, which are surprisingly reassuring about the attractiveness of women past 40, given the propensity of powerful men to have affairs with them. And because its a true story about an affair, its not some heartwarming story someone invented to sell movie tickets to women….which would make the attraction aspect more believable to me.
Le Weekend with Lindsay Duncan 64 and Jim Broadbent 65. They’re age-matched, although older than you. But you get Paris scenery and a few really impressive scenes sprinkled into the stilted ones.
The movie I love for its dialogue and subtlety is also with Jim Broadbent: Another Year. His wife is Ruth Sheen (she is also his age) and they show the steadfastness of love in such a touching way.
Come to think of it, thank you Jim Broadbent for being in movies with women that actually could have been your wife! Now “leading men” types should give it a shot!
“I was actively suffering” — haaaaaa! I have felt this way so many times while watching movies lately. I hadn’t heard of this one but now I know for sure to avoid it.
I always go for comedy!…..Something’s Got to Give – would be my top choice, I was thinking about it this AM (before I read this post) whilst also thinking about your post yesterday. Diane Keaton and Frances McDormand have some really great scenes where they discuss this exact topic.
Oh, plus those two are divine.
I remember liking that one!
Oh! 2 Days in New York: Julie Delpy (45) and Chris Rock (50). And it’s a funny funny comedy about French people in NY.
I know you watched Boyhood, which was directed by Richard Linklater, who also did Before Sunrise/Before Sunset/Before Midnight, perhaps the ultimately age-matched couple: Julie Delpy and Ethan Hawke (44). I love that they change right before your eyes into these parents with kids. As with Le Weekend, there is a variety of quality to the dialogue. But you see them go through time and yes, of course they are still sexual!
Enough Said was good, and seemed genuine and the couple was well matched age wise.
It did give me the “oh, yeah, James Gandophini died” sads though
I was going to suggest Enough Said, too. Maybe I liked it more because I knew it was James Gandolfini’s last film, but I thought it was great.
Also, Togetherness is not a movie, but a show (on HBO or Showtime, I think) which portrays a married couple in their late thirties (who are actually plaid by actors in their late 30s.) Sometimes it gets a little raw, but I enjoyed it.
Stanley and Iris w/Robert DeNiro and Jane Fonda?
Date Night with Tina Fey (44) and Steve Carell. Or Crazy Stupid Love, also with Steve Carell, whom I obviously love, trying to get over/ win back his wife, Julianne Moore.
One of my all time favorite movies is an older film now: Enchanted April. Two middle-aged women go from invisible to visible in love because of a month in Italy, and a younger woman goes from way too visible to much less visible (which is mostly what she wants), and an elderly woman is able to make connections. It’s the loveliest film. I never get tired of it.
This is one of my favourite books of all time!
I liked Crazy Stupid Love a lot! I remember seeing Enchanted April, but I don’t remember it at all; I’ll have to see it again!
Last Chance Harvey?
Yes! (As a late-20s female) I was going to suggest this one.
Although Dustin Hoffman is 20+ years older than Emma Thompson.
It’s a TV series, but Last Tango in Halifax is really delightful.
This is 40.
Leslie Mann is actually a 40 year old Mom playing a 40 year old Mom. Paul Rudd is 43 playing 40. Ignore the multi-million dollar home and the stupid businesses (a boutique music label and a clothing store) and it’s actually pretty realistic. So close to the truth that my husband and I have cringed because it hits REALLY close to our lives. But it’s funny too, and I really like it.
No suggestions, just wanted to say that NO ONE does reviews like you, lady. I get so excited when I see a Swistle movie review.
I never heard of this movie, but I am amused to find out that Vera Farmiga plays the mother to her real life sister, Taissa. Also, wow am I not interested in seeing this. I don’t have great recommendations although I did like This is 40. (Also, I am SO annoyed when the actress playing the “mom” would have been like 12 when the kid was born. I’m looking at YOU Fresh Off the Boat, where Constance Wu at age 26 plays mom to Eddie who is at least 11 or 12, and whose “husband” is played by a forty year old actor so we can’t even play like it was an accidental teen pregnancy. Seriously, this peeves me SO MUCH.)
OMG yes please watch This is 40. It is so very very very close to the bone in my life (except, as prev mentioned, the buckets of $$$ they have).
Tina Fey and Paul Rudd did a movie together…Admission? I think that’s it. Stupid funny but some lovely plot lines about academia and youth vs age that are quite delightful.
Saving Grace. Not sure of who except a younger Craig Ferguson. Totally worth it.
There is a nice romance between Frances McDormand and Ciaran Hinds in Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day, which I enjoyed.
Love Saving Grace!
Enough Said, for sure!
I liked “Chef,” which has Sofia Vergara and Jon Favreau, both in their 40’s, as love interests. And Meg Ryan was 40 and Hugh Jackman was 33 when they made “Kate and Leopold.”
I agree with Christine about too-young parents being irritating, but to be fair, Vera Farmiga is 21 years older than her sister Taissa.
That’s funny, I just saw Chef this week!
I loved RED! But it’s action, so not sure if that’s what you’re looking for. But looked it up, and the younger female lead was born in 1964. And it has Helen Mirren, who is awesome
I loved that one! I liked the Helen Mirren romance.
I guess Meryl Streep is kind of a cliche for an older actress — she’s now 66 — but I really loved her in Julie & Julia. I didn’t like the book very much, but the movie was great, because it was just so well cast. Streep and Stanley Tucci (incidentally now 55), totally in love, just made that film.
I liked that one too!
Ooh, and Judi Dench with Billy Connolly in Mrs. Brown. What a great movie. Kind of getting to be an old movie now (1997!) but so lovely.
How about It’s Complicated with Meryl Streep, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin? It definitely made me lol.
I liked that one!
Following along with the Steve Carrell theme, I really liked Dan in Real Life. Chocolat was also really good.
I loved Dan in Real Life but thought I might be overdoing it on Steve Carell. :)
Juliette Binoche comes to mind. She is 51, smoking hot, and she tends to play complex, sexual, conflicted characters who are definitely framed in the story as desirable, intriguing, etc. (Because, yeah – obviously. She’s a total babe!) Or maybe Charlotte Rampling? 69 years old, gorgeous. Maybe do a search on Netflix and see if any of their recent films appeal to you. I think you might have pretty good luck in the French-language section in general, now that I think of it!
Bummed this sounds so terrible. I was going to give it a shot based solely on my long-standing Andy Garcia crush, but maybe not.
I saw a preview for a movie for a movie called Ride last night starring Helen Hunt (51) where her apparent love interest is Luke Wilson (43) which might be interesting – though she is playing an uptight Mom and I’m worried her age might be played up as an issue to the love story, but this was not apparent in the trailer so maybe there’s hope.
how about the way, way back?
I remember really liking Japanese Story at the time, like early 2000’s? And Toni Collete was probably early to mid-30’s when she made that. It was a movie that really stays with you and the relationship between the two characters so interesting. IMDB or Netflix could probably let you find out enough to see if you are into the general subject matter.
Also, my husband told me that Madeline Stowe is in a tv show now, which I know nothing about, but I always really liked her, so might check that out.
Enough Said: A movie recommendation, not a comment to this post.
It’s a rather cheesy TV show (and it was cancelled after the second season this year), but the Witches of East End has Julia Ormond (50) and Mächden Amick (44) as both very desirable women with age-appropriate love interests, and one thing I really like is that you can see Julia Ormond’s wrinkles! I mean, she’s still utterly stunning, but it’s not like Juliana Marguiles or Halle Berry (both 48) who are stunning *and* look like they haven’t aged a whole lot in the last 15 years.
The Kids are Alright was good (Julianne Moore (49 at the time) and Annette Bening (51), and I think most things with Julianne Moore are a good bet. (While I really liked the movie Don Jon, and she’s paired with a much younger love interest, it’s got a plot point that references a child dying that might make it a bad fit for you. Plus, she’s definitely a supporting rather than a main character.)
Oh! And Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries is a fun Australian TV show on Netflix with a *very* romantically active lead played by Essie Davis, who’s 45.
I’m very glad to have this string of recommendations to comb through – I took a similar thread on movies and shows with plus-sized actresses whose characters are desirable, and watching them was honestly pretty transformative. It’s depressing how thoroughly we (I) internalize message about who’s attractive and who’s invisible, especially since the range of women in the first category is so terribly restricted in pop culture. And as a fat lady who’s coming up on 40, I’m really just going to get farther and farther out from those norms, so I want to do what I can to throw off the social conditioning around it.
Oh, so I’m not the only one who watched Witches of East End! It was really good and cheesey.
I binge watched Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries last month-I love this show!!
I immediately thought of Enough Said and I was suprised so many others have already said it. I thought the chemistry between the two actors was amazing, I loved the subtle realistic plot, let us know what you think!
I am going to recommend Persuasion (the Ciaran Hinds version, not the more recent BBC one). Technically, the characters are not that old, but for the era, she was already what they call “on the shelf,” meaning considered well-past marriageable age. And there are competing love interests that are decidedly younger in both appearance and behavior, so thematically, it kind of fits. I love many of the movies (and books) of Jane Austen, but this one by far gives me the most triumphant feeling in the end. I really wish it were not past midnight here, or I would go watch it right now.
That’s a fantastic film!