It’s interesting that the word “fine” can mean extra special (fine china, fine dining), or okay/normal/maybe-not-quite-okay (I’m fine, it’s fine), or tiny/precise (fine tuning, ground fine), or a penalty (pay a fine), AND THAT IS NOT EVEN ALL THE THINGS IT CAN MEAN. It is also interesting that I dropped a peanut M&M and it went RIGHT DOWN the front of my shirt. This tells me I need to sit up straighter. Although then I wouldn’t have caught the M&M.
Yesterday Edward had an appointment with the pediatric GI specialist, and things are continuing to go fine with the Crohn’s disease. I like how the specialist always makes it clear that this is the state of things for Right Now: we have not “fixed it” by finding the right medicine or whatever, and things could change at any time, and things that work now are Things That Work Now but not necessarily Things That Work Later. Which sounds discouraging, but actually he’s a cheery doctor. “Great!,” he says. “This is what I like to see! It looks like the 6-mp is keeping him in remission right now, and that’s what we aim for. Excellent. I’ll see him in the spring if everything continues this way—but if there are any changes, any changes at all, call us right away.” I feel like he’s optimistic but on the alert.
Also, he’s the kind of doctor who looks at the file BEFORE coming into the room, which is rare in my experience. He says things such as, “Remember when we talked back in May, I told you that Edward’s blood test showed he does not have immunity to varicella? We’ll be testing for that again today.” I hate when I have to remind a doctor of something that is an ongoing/current issue, and then they look back in the file to find it because they weren’t remembering about that at all and so wouldn’t have addressed it at this appointment except that I brought it up. Even though I know perfectly well doctors can’t possibly keep all the details of every patient in their minds, I like them to have a system in place that lets them remind themselves of ongoing-issue details. A system that is NOT “Wait for the patient’s mother to bring it up, and then have no idea what she’s talking about.”
Well. That was kind of a lot of talk about the specialist. Let’s talk some more now about city traffic, because it makes me soooooo sad. I just hate it. I hate it so much. People keep HONKING, and who can tell what the honking MEANS? Do they realize a honking sound does not communicate anything except displeasure or possibly greeting? It doesn’t communicate ANY OTHER INFORMATION, not even “who I’m honking at.”
I am not usually claustrophobic, but I have to breathe carefully to avoid feeling that way when three lanes of traffic are crammed into two-and-a-half lanes, all crammed between two rows of 50-story buildings, with pedestrians and bicyclists inches away from the cars and everyone breaking the rules willy-nilly. Then an ambulance tries to get through. It is MADNESS. I think I could LIKE city living if I didn’t have to DRIVE in it. But after driving in it, I don’t think I’d want to WALK in it, either.
I like them to have a system in place that lets them remind themselves of ongoing-issue details. A system that is NOT “Wait for the patient’s mother to bring it up, and then have no idea what she’s talking about.” —- YES! I hate when doctors do this.
City driving is AWFUL, and I’ve lived and worked in Chicago for a little over eight years now. I didn’t even move my car here for the first four months I lived in Chicago because the thought of driving here was so scary. It’s a bit better now that I’ve been forced to do it enough to be at least a little used to it, but it still stresses me out far more than I would like. Is there any kind of park-and-ride option for your city? Even if it takes longer, I find great relief in being able to make someone else drive me around in cities where I don’t drive often enough to be comfortable.
I haven’t driven in Chicago in more than a decade, but the one time I did, I got terribly lost (and scared to death) because the exits don’t loop around so you can go back if you miss one or take the wrong one. This was before cell phones and GPS and I was lost alone in the dark (in a rental car) because I missed an exit and couldn’t figure out how to get back. NEVER AGAIN!
I am a big-time honker. I usually mean “MOVE IT – GO!” Either the light has turned, or you could have made a turn during the break in cars there, or even sometimes if I’m stopping to let you go and you haven’t done it fast enough. It’s really the length of the beep that conveys meaning. If the light just turned, and I see you are not looking, quick beep. Stuck behind you at an intersection like you are waiting for a written invitation to proceed? Longer beep. If you are doing something egregiously dumb -driving on the wrong side of the road/wrong way on a one way/cutting me off or about to hit me, well, I lean on the horn and don’t let up. You will know I mean YOU if this is you, because it will be accompanied harsh words and hand gestures. Of course, I grew up city driving (Boston) and it is pretty much they way it’s done here. I am sorry as I realize this probably contributes to people not liking city driving :/
I am so with you on this. It is exactly what I do as well. Quick Tap is just a gentle nudge that” hey, would be so kind to get off Facebook and turn already.” Laying on the Horn is the equivalent to me screaming, “Asshole you are about to kill us!” Actually, it’s not the equivalent, is the accompanying sound and action to me yelling, “Asshole you are about to kill us!”
And I live in mediumish sized city in the South..
Yes. I hear a honk as I’m nervously trying to figure out whether it’s safe to turn or not, and I think “OH NO! I might be doing something wrong!! I’d better pause and figure it out!!” Think of it not so much as waiting for a written invitation, and more as Incredibly Nervous Swistle About to Cry Because She Can’t Figure Out These Crazy Streets and Everyone Keeps Honking.
I agree with you. I don’t consider a tap on the horn to be aggressive or mean on my part, and I don’t take it that way from someone else. In driver’s ed, we were taught that the horn is simply a form of communication, or can be. I very rarely lean on the horn – if I do, I have a really good reason.
I think the trouble is that it’s rarely as successful at communicating as the honker thinks it is—and DOES sound aggressive/mean to many of us.
I totally agree, Swistle! I live in a Anchorage, where drivers are pretty courteous compared to other places I have lived-I was amazed when I moved here from the Chicago area, how many drivers would stop to let you into traffic. If someone starts honking at me, it does seem aggressive, and if anything it makes me lose my concentration-trying to figure out what I have done wrong.
My pet peeve is people who honk thinking you should turn during a break in traffic-lots of times as the first car you see what the car behind you doesn’t-and our roads are extremely icy for most of the winter-and cautious driving is really important!
One last thing-as my grandparents got older, they drove more slowly and carefully-they were good drivers but slow. I used to hate when people honked at them, it made me feel so bad. So, unless someone is about to hit me, I NEVER honk my horn.
I wonder how many readers instantly sat up straighter after that first paragraph. ::raises hand::
My husband’s million dollar idea is that vehicles should have 2 horns, one for a “friendly honk” (like, “hey, they light’s green, it’s time to go” or maybe “hey, I’m behind you, don’t back out any more”) and the other for the “asshole/emergency honk.” I told him it wouldn’t work because there’s too much decision-making in the determination of which horn to honk.
Hey, that’s *my* million dollar idea too!
My OB was GREAT about stopping to look at my chart before coming in to appointments, and she’d make notes on a post-it of my lab results or things to ask about (and she always remembered my other child’s name, too, which was nice!) I’d prefer a doctor was a few minutes late because they got prepared than come in early but not have looked at my chart yet.
Re: the doctor checking the chart prior to coming in – My OBGYN does that and I adore him for it. I know he can’t possibly remember ALL THE THINGS so I know he’s reading the chart before coming in, but the fact that he’s making an effort to do that, I love him for it. I don’t like when I have to say “uh, no remember you did XYZ last time?” So great.
Re: city driving – I frequently have to go to downtown Detroit for meetings and…no. Even if the traffic is light…there are SO MANY BUILDINGS! And…what parking structure do I use? What do you mean this is a one way street? I can’t. I much prefer parking in a parking lot that’s in front of the structure I want to go to. You know, like Target!
My OB was TERRIBLE about re-reading my chart, and you’d think seeing someone once a week at the end of your pregnancy would make you more memorable, but there I was 4 days before my scheduled c-section and he asked me, “If you’re still pregnant at your next appointment do you want to talk about induction?” I said, “If I’m still pregnant at my next appointment we’re gonna have a problem because you’re supposed to be getting her out on Monday!”
One of mine found a heartbeat, then said everything sounded great and started putting away his equipment. I said, “…Do you need to find the other one?” HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS TWINS. And my “measuring 10 weeks ahead of schedule for a singleton birth” measurement apparently hadn’t gotten his attention, either!
!!! I hope he was suitably embarrassed by that blunder.
Thank you for the update on Edward. I’d been wondering.
I grew up in a place where driving was like survival of the fittest (Boston) and honking was virtually required, often accompanied by a rude gesture or shouting out the window. This was all perfectly normal to me until I moved to a place where no one honks or shouts rude things, ever. The whiplash of manners and what was acceptable was insane. It took me years to learn to drive like someone from where I live now (for the most part, sometimes the Boston still comes out). Now, I don’t drive when I go back to Boston to visit because I know I don’t have the edge and would probably be killed.
And then there’s me with my doctor, where I was hoping she wouldn’t notice that I hadn’t gone for the abdominal ultrasound she referred me for six months ago, but she said “have you done the ultrasound yet?”, and when I said no she cocked and eyebrow and said “WELL then, I guess I can’t give you the results.” Sigh.
We have recently gotten roundabouts in our smallish town. I have seen more than one elderly driver come to a dead stop on a roundabout after being honked at and terrified. Makes me so mad. Like, have some patience for others! This is the Midwest for crying out loud, that’s someone’s Nana! Also, I had a neighbor honk at me while turning into my driveway, and it was a long not nice honk which makes me want to honk at his house every time I drive by at 5:30 in the morning! (Isn’t there an unwritten rule about rudely honking at people you may encounter on a regular basis?)
Ugh, I totally agree about honking. Car horns should only be used to inform another driver they’re about to back into you. They are not a tool to express one’s feelings.
I honked quite loudly today to let a mother in one of those vast white Jeep Cherokees know that she was about to back into my much littler car. And then basically leant on the horn without stopping because well, she wasn’t. I think she was too busy with her phone conversation to actually turn her head while reversing.
I hate school pickup, I really do.
Oh, the honking. Not a city driver either. I have been honked at for not turning when the car behind me thought I had enough room to go. It did not make me turn. It just made me mad.
The thing is, the car that is honking? Doesn’t know my car. Doesn’t know me. Doesn’t know what my car’s acceleration time is like or my own reflex speed. It also (in many cases) can’t see the on-coming traffic as well as I can. BECAUSE I AM IN THE WAY. So, I have been honked at for not turning when there was, in fact, a bicyclist coming down the road who I might have killed if I had gone when the honker thought I should. Grr.
Can you tell I have issues with being honked at? If I’m not paying attention when the light turns? Fine, honk at me. If I’m about to back into you, please honk at me! But don’t try to tell me when it’s safe for me to try to make a turn in my vehicle. It just makes me want to sit there and make you wait even longer.
My children’s eye doctor does a half-way thing where he comes in the room without looking at the chart, but then proceeds to read the notes from the last visit while in the room. Out loud. So, I think he’s trying to make sure we both remember exactly what happened last time, but I’m never sure what to say in response and yet, it feels wrong to just sit silently.
We’ve been having a lot of fun with the word “fine” lately – whenever Colin uses it (age 10), his dad responds, “You mean like ‘all the fine ladies’?” This, naturally, leads to intense horror on Colin’s part, to the point where he now follows up each use of the word with, “And no, Dad, I don’t mean like ‘all the fine ladies!'”
Our daughter’s doctor, who I otherwise like, came into the room at our 15-month visit and said, “Hi! Now, I haven’t seen him since he was born, right?” and I had to be like, “No, we were here with her last month actually.” I totally agree … look at the chart before you walk into the room. The correct chart, even.
I’m not a honker, but sometimes I wish I was; last week someone stole a car space I was ready to move into (he drove from the opposite side of the street to park in the wrong direction so that he’d get there before me) and I just sat there with my Shocked and Disappointed face on, which he never looked up to appreciate. It ruined my whole afternoon – I feel like beeping would have vented some of the frustration I then took out on my kids/vegetables, but my brain doesn’t work quickly enough to be able to discern which situations are honk-worthy from which aren’t.
Did you know there’s a Fiesta knife block?!!?! http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/store/product/fiesta-reg-masquerade-6-piece-cutlery-block-set/1042323310?categoryId=12874
YES! I think it’s so pretty! And that way you get to see the pretty handles on display, instead of mostly in the drawer!
My last name is Fine! Every time someone asks for my last name, like for a prescription or restaurant reservation..I often wonder if they think I misheard them and am answering to a “how are you”?
My maiden name was Fuller and I came from a large family where after you ate and said “I’m full” you always would hear “I’m Fuller!”
You would think the Fine’s would think this was SO fun..”no, I’m FINE!”…but it hardly ever happens!