The visit from Paul’s aunt and uncle went well! Very well indeed! There were no major hitches, and the minor ones were along the lines of “Whoops, forgot to think about napkins, good thing I keep buying pretty paper napkins I have no use for, because now I suddenly have a use for them, SEE PAUL???” I’d also forgotten to think about dishes, and by the time I DID think of them I felt too tired out to lug up the boxes from the basement and wash all the dishes and find a place to keep them, so instead we just used our usual hodge-podge dishes, and if anyone felt this was less than fancy, they kept those thoughts to themselves.
I wondered, in fact, if they might have come away with the impression that we were rather poor: non-matching dishes, shabby recliners with actual rips in the upholstery, coffee table with about half its original finish, kitchen made up of an assortment of non-official fixes (such as having an island made out of what used to be a changing table), etc. When actually, it’s partly procrastination, partly wanting to make do with what we have, partly not wanting to buy nice things while our children are still wrecking them, partly not noticing/caring very much, and only partly a matter of wincing at prices.
The house had reached an acceptable level of cleanliness/tidiness by the time they arrived, so that it did not much embarrass me—and I think it is good to get periodic practice in “not feeling as if the cleanliness of my house MEANS SOMETHING about me,” and “just because some people take pride in a clean house doesn’t mean I have to feel shame in a messy one.” What I’d like to do, now that it is in fairly good shape, is try to KEEP it there. But I am remembering when I had the flu a couple of years ago and lost 20 pounds, and I thought, “I feel so much BETTER this way! Now that I am here, I am going to KEEP it here!” And yet slowly, inexorably, I went right back to my usual weight. In order to maintain a lower weight, I need to be actively ill; in order to maintain a cleaner house, I need to be actively anxious about impending houseguests.
I’m so glad it went well! What a pleasant relief for you to have it over with and to have good feelings about the time they spent there. If you wouldn’t mind sharing, could you let us know how some of the conversations you’d been fretting about went? I’m thinking of the “so, how much time did you actually want to spend together?” and the “we don’t go to church, but you probably will” ones.
Oh, good idea! I’m going to do another post!
You might be able to extend that “impending houseguest” feeling for a little while longer if you wanted. Perhaps you could have your wine-and-appetizers group over in the next week or two? Try to keep it clean until then. And then you’ve got Thanksgiving which might mean “impending houseguest” feeling. Then Christmas! I’ve never been super social, but having a clean house makes me willing to have people over (and planning to have people over makes me more willing to clean).
I’m glad your visit went well. I have to have guests coming over to really get ambitious about cleaning. Otherwise I clean whatever is needs it most, which is less stressful for me but then the whole house is rarely clean at the same time.
I am right there with you on the not wanting to buy nice things because the children are not done wrecking them! My husband was trying to convince me to get a new couch the other day and I finally said I wouldn’t even consider it until the baby is potty trained. And maybe even then, it will need to wait a few more years after he’s trained until he can be trusted not to hop on it with dirty shoes or something. Children are messy and they ruin things and I don’t want to spend my energy chasing them around scolding them for every minor infraction. So if the couch is old and they make a mess, they clean it up and I can not care if it ends up staining.
That right there? Is why I’m not getting the carpet replaced. Because even though it looks polka-dotted, it’s polka-dotted because we spill things. When and if I ever replace it, it’ll be with hard-wood floors and area rugs, because those are cleanable.
Hooray for a successful visit!
This is why I drive a beat-up car! I don’t want to constantly feel stress about muddy shoes/spilled drinks/long scratches down the side from when kids try to squeeze past it to get their bikes out of the garage. It’s all about making parenting less stressful! Well, that and being broke.
The worst part (or “worst” I guess) is every year getting a little less anxious about impending guests and not feeling the urge to clean as much. We’ve hosted Thanksgiving for both sides of our family for 8 years now and the cleaning has felt less and less of a priority every year. Normally I’d be FULLY in the swing of things by now and I just…eh. Don’t feel like it. I wish I had more motivation! I want my house to be clean, but I don’t want it enough, apparently.
Yay! I was thinking about you over the weekend, wondering if this was THE weekend! :)
OHHHH. Yes. That’s when my house is clean also.
I think when we use a short term solution to a long term need we get used to the short term very quickly and suddenly having no ceiling in our dining room (for instance) makes perfect sense until I see a photo of it and then OH HELL NO it looks that bad in here?? I get bent about fixing it for oh say 3 days and then slide right back awwww well it’ll work land.
I am not a daily bed maker. We’ve moved a few times and every time we’ve been in the selling process I marvel at how much I like the way it looks when our bed is made daily. Every time after we finally sell the house and no long have to keep it “show ready”, I vow I am going to prolong the feeling and make my bed daily. I think the longest I’ve lasted is 2 weeks. Apparently it’s just not my thing and I should learn to embrace it.
I’m lucky in that way we have an old house and when you walk in the mudroom through the entry door you see it first off so I make it every single day and it lifts my spirits once it’s done–I wish my room wasn’t right there but since it is I’m making that bed and keeping it looking nice which sometime means a giant pile of laundry just around the edge of closet that no one can see