Tonight I had a flashback to apartment living: I was in the bathroom and Paul was listening to music on the other side of the wall, and MAN. I had forgotten how music at a reasonable volume sounds UNTHINKABLY RUDE on the other side of a wall. The wall was VIBRATING, and all I could hear was BOOM-bah-bah BOOM-bah-bah BOOM-bah-bah until I wanted to pound on the wall for old times’ sake.
But the music was not even loud on Paul’s side of the wall. It’s just that the music was CLOSE TO THE WALL. I wonder how many misunderstandings have arisen from similar situations? One side: “WHY do they have to BLAST their music DAY AND NIGHT?? Have they NO CONSIDERATION for others??” The other side: “WHY do they have to POUND THE WALL when I listen to ANY MUSIC AT ALL?? Have they NO CONSIDERATION for others??”
For example, in the apartment we lived in when Rob was born, our next-wall neighbors had what sounded like a full-sized piano but was probably a small electric keyboard. They unwisely put it against our shared wall. They also had two elementary-school-aged children. By the time we moved out, I could have bashed that wall down with my bare hands to get at that piano, and felt glad of the blood and shattered bones my hands would have become.
That is the rule, in apartments: if it makes sound, it does not go against a shared wall. The CD player. The TV. The mixer, if possible, though not as big a deal if it isn’t, because it’s used so briefly and occasionally. The headboard, certainly. None of those things go against a shared wall, even if the external wall is chilly or the interior wall is inconvenient.
Unfortunately, the floor is sometimes a shared wall, and there is no way to put nothing against that.
I go to bed earlier than my husband and he likes to play music on the stereo (music that I like!) but something about it playing when I am tired makes me want to throw the stereo out into the RAVINE. Same with him watching TV when I am up in bed. Must he have it SO LOUD? We will be that elderly couple with the man wearing the wifi headphones with the sound blaring and the wife smiling peacefully with the show playing a reasonable volume. Have you seen those ads in parade magazine? I think the tag line is something like “this will save your marriage”.
As I read this, the hipsters who live above me are either having a rave or training the worlds largest puppy (or potentially doing both).
This reminded me of the apartment we lived in when we first moved here. We had a toddler – our upstairs neighbors complained to management the first night we were there because he cried! Yet they had a horse sized dog that pounded on the floor (our ceiling) all day and night. *shudder* I could never go back to an apartment for love or money.
Our tv is on the shared wall between our living room and the kids’ room, and I ALWAYS worry (however I think the fireplace absorbs the sound because it’s never a problem).
When Ed and I were in our first apartment, I was working 3 jobs and going to school full time. On the off chance that I ever had a morning off, all I wanted to do was sleep. The old lady who lived upstairs from us picked those mornings every time, without fail, to REALLY scrub her tub, vacuum for at least an hour, or slide her furniture all over the place. It was horrible.
Small, old lady lived upstairs all by herself. We thought we were so set for a quiet neighbor after a string of vampires who bathed at midnight without fail, and the giant rottweiler downstairs, or the preacher and his wife with the 5 am fifties religious music that was so loud you could still hear it in the shower. But, no. The little old lady had a mini-trampoline right above our bedroom. And the elderly are notoriously early risers. It was the WORST. “Flashback” is exactly the right word.
I lived upstairs in a two family flat for a few years. It was me and my cat and we are both very quiet individuals. I would walk around with socks. I got complaints from the downstairs neighbors weekly that I was too loud. It was just the floors in that place. They creaked with every step.
This terrifies me, because I live downstairs (sobs) and I just know that the woman who I have grown to loathe with every fiber of my being is probably walking around up there in socks think “Ugh, can’t a person move in her own apartment??” But honestly, she sounds like she is coming through the ceiling every time she takes a step! I’ve written her what I hoped were polite notes saying “I know it’s just the ceilings but please, PLEASE, try and step lightly over the bedroom if it’s either very late or very early..” Granted, she keeps terrible hours and that’s really the bulk of the problem. I just wish they did more to triple reinforce the floors in apartments. Living underneath someone can make life a living hell, and I’m sure it’s annoying for the upper-story people who just want to move freely in their own home. I honestly didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at Swistle’s piano story. So my life right now.
This is the exact reason I was driven out of apartment living and why I refused to look at any condo or townhouse arrangements when we bought a house. The worst year of my life was spent living downstairs from a group of 20 something guys, who had just purchased guitar hero, and a nice speaker system for their TV/video game setup. Thump, thump, thumping bass through the floor for HOURS every day. It was awful. You’d think you’d get sick of playing guitar hero after a month or two, but I am not kidding when I say they kept it up for a good 10 months and probably were still going after that but I moved out when my lease was up.
We have 4 kids 5 and under and just moved into a townhouse. My friend showed up to visit and our older couple next door neighbor was out and asked her if she was the new neighbor. My friend kindly said “no! I’m her friend, but they are nice people with four kids” and our neighbor just looked at her and said “yeah. we’ve heard them.”
I’m hoping she meant through an open window or when we were outside or something but otherwise, oops! Sorry older empty-nesters!
Oh man, shared walls etc are often a problem. Just a piece of advice…never, ever, put your bed against a shared wall!! Sorry, it’s not really what you’re thinking, just that in trying to sleep you will hear everything coming from the other apartment.
I knew a (young) man who told me his neighbor was playing really loud music one night, so he pounded on the wall and yelled, “Hey! Can you hear my TV?” the loud-music-guy called back, “No,” and my friend yelled, “Neither can I!”
My nextdoor/shared wall neighbors OFTEN profusely and awkwardly apologize to me about the noise their child makes. Like I’ll run into them in the hall and they’ll be like “Oh hey! We’re so sorry about all the NOISE, you’ve probably heard him crying A LOT.” And I’m like shrug, no, not really and when I do hear him it’s not a big deal.
It kind of… makes me wonder if they’re actually trying to hint to me about things they hear ME doing?
Shared walls are one of the things I fear most in this world. I have so much anxiety over them that I could never live in an apartment again. My most recent shared wall living space was an upstairs/downstairs duplex and fortunately I lived upstairs. Even hotels stress me out sometimes though.