I took a month to get around to buying an Instead Softcup, and then another month to get up the nerve to try it. Now I have tried it, I’m done trying it, and I’m ready to give a report.
(photo from Amazon.com)
I’d like to start by praising the instructions. Here’s how they start:
“Remember the first few times you used tampons or wore contact lenses? Well, reusable Softcup also takes a little time to learn to use correctly and comfortably. At first, it may seem awkward to either insert or remove reusable Softcup…that’s OK, most women experience that.”
I found that tremendously encouraging and heartening.
I bought the reusable version (each one can be rinsed and reused for the length of one period), but there’s also a disposable version. Since they have to be changed at least every 12 hours, I figured the 2-pack of reusables would last two full periods, but the 14-pack of disposables would last at most 7 days—and more likely less than 5 days. It’s approximately the same price per box, so that makes the reusables a much better deal—especially because even with a disposable I imagine you’d still need to rinse it out and not just drop it in the trash as-is, lest the family freak out.
My own personal situation, for comparison going into this, is that I’ve had only c-sections and I don’t like the feeling of tampons. I usually use reusable cloth pads, and it was a little hurdle to get used to rinsing those out but now I don’t mind it.
So. Putting the Softcup in. You sit down on the toilet to do this. You pinch the round Softcup edge so it looks like a number 8. Then you slide it in flat and level like a cookie sheet into the oven. You heard me. Cookie sheet. You don’t insert it UP and IN like a tampon, you insert it ACROSS and DOWN like…nothing else, ever. This made no sense to me until I tried it, but now I want to look again at the anatomical drawings in the gynecologist’s office.
For a few minutes after I put it in, I felt a slight crampy feeling, which worried me—but that feeling went away, and then I didn’t feel anything. I was triumphant: NOW I had a tampon-like thing that was NOT A TAMPON!
Alas: within a couple of hours, I’d justified the prudent use of a back-up pad. I was a little discouraged, because the cup was nowhere near full and it had been nowhere near 12 hours, but I thought I probably just hadn’t done it right somehow, so I rinsed it (slight hurdle, but okay—I could get used to that, as with rinsing pads) and tried it again. The same thing happened again.
That’s when I gave up. Not because of the leaking per se, though that was discouraging, but because of something I haven’t discussed yet: removal. I don’t know what I was imagining, but I guess something…tidier. And maybe I would have gotten used to it and started doing a better job at it, and maybe I had it in wrong which would explain both the leaking and the messy removal, and maybe the leaking was the only reason the removal was messy—but sometimes you just find your own personal line, and I’d found mine.
Not only was removal quite an unpleasant feeling to both my hand and my Interior Regions, but also to my psyche: you have to REACH IN and FIND and then GRIP and PULL. And the circle is NO LONGER PINCHED NARROW as it was for insertion, and it is SURPRISINGLY STURDY PLASTIC. And then there I was, sitting, with one hand bloodied and holding something that needed immediate rinsing before reinserting, and I still needed to clean myself up as well. Goodness, what to do? Wipe with one hand while holding the other hand aloft, trying not to spill; then stand, go to the sink, rinse out the Softcup, wash hands; then go back, sit down, wipe again, put the Softcup back in? What a complicated mess! And impossible to do in, say, a work/public restroom. Luckily I was at home, but it was quite a procedure even so.
So my review sounds very negative, doesn’t it? I tried it, I didn’t like it, I’m not going to use it. BUT! I think it’s like cloth pads: some people might try them and say “UG, they feel like DIAPERS, I HATE them! And I’m not willing to RINSE and LAUNDER them, what a complicated mess!!” Whereas I find them cozy and I don’t mind the fuss. So it’s just a matter of finding the tool that works for your tolerances. And my experience with the Softcup told me that it wasn’t right for me (though I’m saving the second one that came in the box, just in case I feel like trying again later), but it also told me that it seemed to have good potential for a different sort of person: it seemed well made, and the instructions were very good, and overall it seemed GOOD. Just not for ME. (Probably. Maybe later.)
Wow. I’m impressed that you wrote about this in such detail. It’s usually such a forbidden topic of conversation.
I was also wondering about the cleaning process — what the heck are you supposed to be using WHILE you are cleaning it? And how to shuffle from toilet to sink and back again and ahhh.
I go back and forth between pads and tampons — pads work better for me usually but they have the issue of being uncomfortable and wet, no matter how much the brand tries to brainwash you that it’s “dry”. Tampons work well but always need a pantyliner “just in case”, and then for a several days after I think I’m “done” I continue to need pantyliners. :-(
I’m so jealous of my pregnant friends (and all of our moms) for not having to deal with this. Ack.
Oh this is a good review. I have used a D1va cup and it was SUPER tricky the first period. You have described precisely the way I felt the first time I used it. I will say the second period it was better and by the third I felt really comfortable using it and liked it very much. I found carrying a wet wipe with me helpful, especially at first. I think the removal part takes a bit of practice too…I found it best to break the seal by pinching it back to it’s figure 8 (though…carefully). I don’t use it now because I have a M1rena and am one of those lucky people that does not have a period with it.
I’m a bit older than you, but you could change the date to 1985 and an earlier brand name, and the post would be identical. I’m guessing they were invented by a man who didn’t really think through the logistics of changing it when you didn’t have a sink with running water in your lap.
So… this is not an exhortation by any means to “try this one different thing and you’ll suddenly love Softcups!” Hell, I’ve never even tried them; I have a Diva cup. which is reusable for something like 10 years. So I hope you don’t feel like a random stranger on the internet is pressuring you to do anything. But I’m puzzled by why the Softcup (which I assume is similar to the Diva) makes itself so much harder to use.
To get the Diva cup in, I pinch it like a figure 8 but then fold it in half, like a C. The trick there is that you have to unfold it inside you, which, yes, requires a certain amount of reaching in and twisting. But then it sort of pops open and you can just tell (after a few usages) that it’s in correctly and there won’t be any leakage (for me, anyway. I’ve never tried out anyone else’s vagina.) There’s definitely some tugging to get it out, but it has a stem at the bottom, which works much the same way a tampon string does, just more discreetly. Does the Softcup have a stem for you to grab?
The other thing with a Diva is that you insert it much the way you would a tampon with no applicator – no oven-sliding, it’s in and up. And I could never sort out the hands and the washing and the cleaning thing either, so now I don’t change mine while I’m on the toilet – I change it in the shower. (I’m realizing I also have a toilet that is very close to a sink, for the other time per day that I change it, so I can do the cleaning part after I pee. But I definitely don’t have to do it at work, thank god.
Regardless, I am happy to have found a solution that works for MY ladyparts, and it sounds like you have a solution (the pads) that works well for YOURS, which is what I would declare a win/win.
No, no stem: you’re supposed to reach in, hook the edge of the circle part with one finger, and pull.
How do you do THAT? With your 3rd arm that grows out of your knee? That sounds totally awkward/gymnastic.
Oh, no no no! That would make removal hella uncomfortable and messy.
I, too, use a Diva, which I love. Although it did take some getting used to. Like KP said, I use the stem to get it out, but I also kind of pinch the bottom to break the seal before pulling it out. There is no way I would be able to reach to the top to hook it without a gigantic mess. Ugh.
Also, for those who might consider a Diva, I use a pantyliner the first day, as I have some leakage then, but it goes away as my period lightens.
As for the rest of the removal, I pull it out, dump it in the toilet. Wipe with the clean hand. Waddle to sink (in home only!), rinse, re-insert, re-wipe, flush, wash hands, etc. I like that I go so long between changes, so I can usually make sure I’m changing it at home.
If this is something you think you might want to try again, I recommend the Diva over what you tried. The Diva also lasts longer too (although it might cost more as well). I don’t remember the package instructions, but I’ve been using mine for over a year now.
Another Diva user here. I LOVE mine. I only empty it twice a day–in the morning and at night in the shower. I use a backup pad on day 1 only as well, and it was wiggedy the first time using it but now I can’t imagine going back to tampons or pads. Not having to worry about it or mess with it for 12 hours is the most freeing feeling in the world to me–totally worth the learning curve and the little bits of ick. (but tampons and pads have some ick factor too.) I also trimmed the stem pretty short because it irritated me, so I grab the bottom of the actual cup, pinch to break the suction seal, and then pull it out. And if it’s sealed up correctly, I don’t actually get a mess on my hand at all.
Also, this is kinda gross but in an emergency (public bathroom, camping etc) I have pulled it out, dumped the contents into the toilet really fast and shoved it back in without rinsing it–but then I rinse it really well the next time I take it out.
The softcups are a totaly different shape to the diva, mooncup, etc. They are more like a diaphragm that doesn’t “collect” fluid so much as “dam” it up. I have heavy periods and the result of the softcup leaking / changing was like a horror film, but I’ve been using a mooncup happily for ten years.
I have the keeper? I think? And it took me several months to get comfortable using it. Turns out my problem (there are CRAZY message boards for this) was that the stem was too long and was jabbing me in VERY UNCOMFORTABLE PLACES unexpectedly. So I cut some of it off, and it was much, much better.
As far as changing it at work, I don’t, unless I’m afraid it will leak. (The leaking was a whole different issue, that was just me not getting it in there far enough or it not popping open all the way. No leaks after the first month or so.) Then I keep a couple wet wipes with me in my purse. I dump the um, contents out and swab it with a wipe, reinsert, wipe my hands with another wipe, then proceed to the sink for serious handwashing.
Anyway now I’m happily pregnant and don’t have to deal with any of the nasty business for a while.
I obtained a Diva Cup, had Serious Issues inserting it during trial runs (like, it would take over half an hour, literally), got it jammed in good when my actual period actually started… and it filled up completely in about 3 hours. So there I was, at work, with a brimmingly full and heavy cup jammed into my junk. I excused myself to the bathroom during a small meeting where my absence was VERY much noted, removed it, dropped it on the floor, got blood and clots EVERYWHERE, had to clean it and reinsert it… and that took 20-30 minutes. During work. During a small meeting where everybody knew I was in the bathroom.
2 weeks later I conceived.
I’ve never liked the feel of tampons, but I’m capable of inserting them… at least the ones with applicators. The Diva Cup was irritating to use and physically hurt my hands/wrists with the whole origami and holding and craning to insert and everything else. I’m half convinced my body did everything it could to get pregnant solely to avoid having to use the cup again.
I am sorry to laugh, but I have TEARS rolling down my cheeks, imaging the work bathroom scene. That sounded HORRIBLE.
Strange, i also got pregnant (about two cycles) after I first started using a cup. This was my second baby after about 8 months of trying to conceive.
Haha – your “origami” reference – hilarious!
Did you write about trying out a cup when you let wrote about reusable pads? Because I remember that it was after I read about your reusable pads that I went out and bought some and bought a Meluna cup as well. That was about three years ago and I’m still using them today. I’m really grateful that you introduced me to period cups (maybe unknowingly) because it has made my periods so much less of a hassle and so much less waste and money and mess. It took me about 6 months to get used to the insertion, that’s the part I found most difficult. What I love most about it is feeling clean and dry almost like I’m not on my period. (Leaks do happen on the very heavy day, that s when I wear my reusable pads), but my periods are super long (8 days) so the cup really make a huge difference to my life.
No, this is the first cup-type system I’ve tried. I might have mentioned the cups, though, because I remember Jonniker had a hilarious post about it, so I might have linked to it and/or talked about it.
I think the comment section brought up cups back when Swistle wrote about cloth pads.
Oh, oh, oh! I can comment on this!
I love my diva cup, but it took me a long time to get to that point. I started about a year after giving vaginal birth (which left my pelvic floor rather saggy). The cup didn’t even stay in first, let alone trap fluid. After a month or two of kegels, squats, and psoa stretches every day, it worked MUCH better. I realize you don’t stretch out as much with c-sections, but I was under the impression that you do still stretch some. Perhaps that is one culprit behind your leaks.
Also, it’s just a big learning curve. I appreciate the stem on bottom, which makes removal entirely mess-free. If it went in correctly and you catch it before it overflows (which should only happen with abnormally heavy flows), you never touch blood at all.
It also taught me some things about periods I never realized before. A normal period is only 1-2 oz over the whole duration, and the diva cup is, I think, a 2 oz contraption. So overflow is unlikely, unless you have very heavy flow. That helps it stay clean, because the cup never gets more than 1/4-1/2 full (with light-moderate flow). If you’re still interested in the cup route, I highly recommend a silicon, reusable forever, stemmed version. Mine was between $10 and $20. Maybe $15? Worth every penny.
I have a Diva cup and you got the learning curve phase description right on. The first few months it was like a murder scene. But now I love it and only change it at home where my toilet and sink are right next to each other. BUT, I have even used it camping on a pit toilet with no running water. And it worked- I just had to use wipes to clean it. I still prefer it to tampons and pads- more comfortable when inserted properly, cheaper, and the messiness doesn’t phase me as much anymore.
You have got to put a warning on this post to not read while at work. Crying. Hysterical laughing crying.
I just started using the Diva Cup and after 3 months I am 100% sold.
Love my Moon Cup! Like other commenters, I had a 3-4 cycle learning curve figuring it out and I wound up cutting off the stem for the same reason the above commenter, Christy, did. I have a super long and heavy flow and once I learned to read the signals (mainly that an episode of cramping meant that I’d need to empty the cup within the next 30 minutes), I was hooked. I did learn to carry individually wrapped disposable wipes when out just in case I need to “take care of business” in a public restroom which I guess negates the environmentally-friendliness of the cup, but two of those (one to clean the cup, one to clean my hands before exiting the stall) worked beautifully even while camping. I *love* that I don’t even feel it most of the time (unless it pops open against my cervix – ouch) and that I only have to bother with it twice a day on the lighter days.
I was honestly surprised when my ob/gyn’s nurse told me that I was the first patient she’d encountered in the practice that used a cup instead of pads or tampons. It’s definitely not for everyone, but I’ll never go back to the alternatives.
Your review took me back to my college’s roommate’s incredibly hilarious experience with the sponge for birth control. over 20 years later and I still crack up at her description of getting it out.
Have you considered natural sea sponge (reusable) tampons? I can’t feel them at all. (I am not sure if there are many different brands/types but the ones I got are from Jade & Pearl.)
I am laughing so hard. Oh, my. It is icky to learn but I will never ever go back.
I started with a DivaCup and it took me a few months to even remotely feel like I was getting it right. I decided to try Lunette. It is made in either Finland or Norway. My problem with the DivaCup was that the sides were TOO bendy and I could never get it to break the seal at the ring on top. (And I was not about to crawl around up there any more than already necessary to break the seal myself. WTF Softcup??) The Lunette is a smidge more rigid and also a bit shorter, and thus, when I pinch it,it is enough to break the seal. And that is important. It makes removal so much easier. A stem is really quite necessary for removal, I’d say.
Also – I was totally startled the first time I broke the seal and a heard this weird shnucking sound come out of my vag. I think I even giggled out loud. I am 14.
Oh, yes. The walk from the toilet to the sink. It is tricky. The first time is a journey done in panic. On heavy days I just waddle over to the sink like a penguin with a handful of toilet paper jammed between my legs. I have removed it at work before. I wiped it out well with toilet paper first, then used a disposable lady wipe. While I am not so skilled as to not ever have any blood on my hands, I do manage to keep the lady bits clean during removal, so clean up there is easily done with just some toilet paper.
Also – for anyone still interested, I fold mine to look like a 7. Pinch closed like an 8, then fold down one corner. I find it easier to insert and that I have more luck with it unfolding nicely.
Swistle, I have to say I am REALLY SURPRISED that so many of your readers use a softcup-like Thingy! And with such positive reviews! This definitely has me reconsidering my approach.
I used a diva cup and will do so again when my period returns after pregnancy/breast feeding. I was a fan of the instead cup though so maybe not helpful for you. I hate tampons.
Swistle, thank you for reaffirming my decision to stay mainstream and not try something like this. I was always hung up on the insertion without ever considering the removal. No thanks. This is a timely post because friend just texted me a picture of home crocheted reusable tampons. Again, no thank you.
Huh. As a longtime, very satisfied Keeper user, this makes me really curious about Softcups! I wonder why insertion and removal would be so different from the Diva/Keeper/etc type cups? I … can’t quite envision a cookie sheet ending up in the right place. I too make an “8” and then fold again into a “C” shape to insert, and I make sure I have placed it directly over my cervix. To remove, I pinch the body of the cup (I cut off the entire tail long ago) to break the suction, and it comes out pretty neatly. I dump the contents in the toilet and am ready with some TP in my other hand to wipe/dab any drips from my ladyparts and the edge of the cup, then I waddle to the sink with my pants down to rinse and reinsert. Easy peasy. You know, considering.
Well thanks for reviewing this but this just reaffirmed that I’m not going to be trying this. I’ve got a pretty heavy period with occasional clots and I would rather change pads a couple of times than deal with one of these. I don’t even really like tampons that much.
(I don’t know if it’s ok for me to say a brand name but I am totally in love with Always Infinity. I loathe regular Always, these are nothing like regular Always. NOTHING like them.)
I have used and loved the Instead cup for YEARS (never got up the nerve for the Diva Cup), but only use the disposable. And seconding whomever above said they change it in the shower. That’s my go-to as well. I don’t seem to need to change it more than twice per day, but since it’s disposable, in the garbage it (with plenty of paper) goes long before I’m up to (thoroughly) wash my hands. Maybe there’s something fundamentally different about the disposable version compared to the reusable version? Also, hooking from the bottom and not the top helps, as does standing to get a better, ah, squat position for removal.
So, on a whim, I Googled “toilet with a sink”, and this is an actual thing! Not only that, it’s apparently a green thing. So now we can save the world and make our lives easier at the same time–three cheers for environmentalism!
Ooh, interesting stuff. Disclaimer: I used a diaphragm both for birth control and as a menstrual gadget for many years (some decades back). Then came the husband with a vasectomy, the unsuccessful reversal, the years of infertility treatment, the eventual pregnancy, and the c-section. Somewhere in there, the diaphragm wandered off. So for some time I used tampons but I always missed the ease of the diaphragm. But I wasn’t going to go back to my OB just to get a device to use for menstrual stuff.
I tried a Diva cup and I was committed to it but had real trouble using it. I don’t know whether I bought the wrong size (though it was whatever was recommended for someone with my history — pregnancy, c-section) or whether my cervix is just weirdly high or what, but several times it got stuck so that the cup was up but the stem was also up and crammed against my pubic bone so it was basically stuck and just: oh for heavens sake that is a pain to disentangle, just let me say (really, the first time it happened I had visions of needing to go to my GP and explain the problem, which were marginally less horrifying than the related visions of explaining to my DH why I needed to go to my GP. But I worked it out, literally…). But I was committed to the idea, the environmental friendliness, and not having to buy the darned tampons. So. Then one night I dropped the Diva cup in a portajohn pot (I am not kidding), and so that was that. I started shopping around for others or a new one (see? committed!) and ran across Instead.
I found several women reporting they just wash the disposables and find they last forever and so far (just a few months in) I’ve been good with that approach. And having 6 (7?) in a box is great, because now I have a sealed one stashed like, everywhere I might likely need one if I forgot to bring my opened one along — you know, in the car, in my desk at work, in my spare purse, in my gym bag, etc. My insert approach is less 8 and more uppercase I (as just a straight line) and I’d say more at a 45-degree angle than cookie sheet, and it works like a charm. And unlike the Diva cup, which I found required lubricant to insert, I can just insert the Instead with no problem (I wonder if the disposable versions are more flexible than the kind you tried, Swistle?). If I need to change at work (in a stall), I just dump it, rub it out with TP and reinsert and use a wipe on my hands and then wash my hands once I am at the sink of course, otherwise I wash in the sink at home (and yes, the shower removal strategy is ideal, but not always practical). I have no problem hooking the thing out using my middle finger, though, again — years of experience inserting a removing a diaphragm, which is a skill from another era. And the Instead things are so darned cheap as compared to the Diva — I say if you are interested, just give them a try and see. Obviously that is not directed at Swistle who has done so and not liked them, but for others, I mean.
YES! The removal was highly unpleasant. I felt like I’d been caught at a homicide scene or something. My bathroom is tiny (I can easily reach and use the sink while still sitting on the toilet), so that part of the removal process wasn’t the issue, but I can’t imagine trying to change one of those if I were somewhere other than my miniscule bathroom.
I normally use a Diva cup and love it, but tried out the Softcups because they can be worn during sex, which makes things much less messy. My experience is that they work great when they’re in right, but maybe 20% of the time it’s not in there perfectly and leaks. And while I can always tell when the Diva cup is inserted right, I can’t tell when the Softcup is.
I tried these before taking the plunge on a Diva Cup, with the same issues: always leaked at least a little, and was an utter disaster mess of awfulness to remove. But somehow I still took the plunge on the Diva Cup, and I’m so glad I did, because it TRULY does not leak for 12 hours, and it is possible, with practice, to remove, dump in the toilet, and rinse, with minimal ick on your fingers and no mess anywhere else. So if that’s the direction you’re headed, I encourage you to keep heading that way, because it is awesome and worth it. I remove, rinse & re-insert mine morning and night only, and have nothing to worry about all day out and about. Oh, and since I see others sharing this info, I fold mine into more of a U: push one edge in and down, and pinch the top of the resulting U together before shoving it up there. I think that, unlike the Instead sitting right over your cervix, the Diva sits below it. It MUST be situated quite differently, because the top lip creates a seal (as others have mentioned), whereas the Instead opening is gigantic and just kind of catches most stuff without sealing? I guess? Which maybe explains the constant minor leakage. Anyway, love the Diva once you learn how to do it; Instead, not so much.
Yes, I agree that the U/punch down one side insertion method was the way that I finally found to insert and not have leak issues. After I give it a good spin, I also kinda push up and then pull down to get it to seal all the way. I can go 12 hours easy and do the same as you first thing in the morning and then when I get home from work I change it out. I’ve found that if I “bare down” if you will, that I don’t have to shove my hand all up inside myself to get it out. Changing in the shower has piqued my interest and I think I’ll try it next time.
Sarah – we are menstrual cup technique TWINS.
I think you are right, you need to find a system that is right for you. I hate pads and imagine I would despise reusable ones even more. I’m a diva devotee, too… mostly because I am cheap. Also because it kinda makes me feel like my period only lasts one day, it’s so low-user-involvement. The changing issue can be annoying (I agree with the shower-user, works like a charm), but it is only an issue on the first night (because for me, at least, I do need to change it a lot on day 1), and I just use backup tampons that night, because who really wants to empty a cup when they are half-asleep?
(I can’t believe I feel so strongly about the diva cup that I just wrote an entire comment about it…)
Man I wish I had read this blog and the comments when I was still having periods! I didn’t know these cups even existed! They do sound messy but what isn’t during that time of month. I was laughing and nodding at what I read. Thanks Swistle for posting this.
I tried using the disposable version of the softcups, as a conception aid (there is a great deal of info about this around the internet), and I did not like them. I had the same sort of crampy feeling after insertion as you, Swistle. I also had trouble with removal, there was a particularly scary time when I really truly thought the cup was trapped. After much struggle and escalating panic, I did finally get it out. It would have been worth the trouble if I go pregnant that cycle, but I did not.
Like many previous commenters, I use a Diva Cup and love it. It sounds like the Softcup is less effective and more difficult to use (though I have no personal experience to make any promises). Others have explained the insertion process and removal process, so I will just say that I generally empty it in the shower in the morning, which is fine as long as I lock the door and there’s no chance my husband will stroll in while I’m emptying it or immediately after, which I think would be kind of awkward, to say the least. At night, I empty it and clean it in my kids’ bathroom, which has a sink RIGHT next to the toilet, so I can just reach over while still sitting down and rinse the cup quickly before reinserting. After a couple of months of practice, my hands no longer get messy, so I’m fine to wait to wash them until after the whole process is over.
Also–my sister is one of those people who needs to empty it every few hours on the first 1-2 days of her period, so if those days fall on a weekday, she uses tampons and pads because those are easier to change multiple times a day in a non-home bathroom. It wouldn’t bother me as much, because I stay home with my kids and could mostly avoid having to empty it in public, but that’s definitely something to consider if you work outside the home and have heavy periods.
I should also add that back before I started using a Diva Cup (last year) or reusable pads (about 7 years ago), I got a yeast infection almost every single month after my period, whether I used tampons or pads. For some reason, my pea brain never put two and two together, until I tried the reusable pads and realized months later that I hadn’t had a yeast infection in, well, months. I’ve never had one since (again, about 7 years). So if anyone reading this gets chronic yeast infections, a cup or reusable pads might be something to consider.
I have tried this style (can’t recall the brand) and while I wasn’t totally sold and don’t generally use them now they are a lifesaver for period sex! The hubs and I had an anniversary trip scheduled (without the kids) and I started my period on the day before we left. Frantic internet searching led me to the softcups and they worked brilliantly!
Period sex is the primary reason I would be interested in a cup…so NO to the Diva Cup and YES to the Softcup in that case? DISCUSS.
We tried diva sex once, and it wasn’t bad. I was more uncomfortable because I knew it was there. But he didn’t need long, and I imagine a long or hard session would have been uncomfortable for at least him. If you want to use it regularly for sex, I would go with something more softcup-shaped, because it doesn’t come with a hard nub on the end.
Had to chime in here just to say I’m a (apparently lone) DivaCup dissenter. I have one and tried it for three months, only to give up. It never felt comfortable, leaked a lot, and clean up was nuts. Reading over these comments, I would guess that I need to do a few Kegels to make it all happen but really…I’m not that committed. So pads it is!
This has been a highly entertaining and informative comments section!! The vision of so many of you ladies waddling to the sink with your pants down has me giggling ;-)
The first thing I thought of when I was reading your explanation was that it sounds just like inserting a diaphragm.
I had heard of the Diva cup, but mostly used tampons. After kid #1 (who is now 28), when I got fitted for a diaphragm, and remember the nurse-midwife saying that she knew patients who used it to catch menstrual flow. I used it some for that purpose (i.e., sex during my period), but didn’t like that it stained/discolored the device, and found the process a bit messy. Changing in the shower is a great idea, but does that mean you shower twice a day? Egads.
Sorry, I’ve got to snicker at the gals who are worried about their husbands walking in on them while tending to this. Yes, it’s messy (or can be), and I certainly wouldn’t want my kids walking in on this, but my HUSBAND? The man I’ve been married to for 30+ years and have sex with? We’re too close, and have seen and done too many things together for anything like that to be an issue.
It always makes me giggle to remember that urine and blood are sterile body fluids until they hit my vagina. It still grosses me out and they ate my fluids. It was helpful knowledge knowing that some of these forms of lady time maintenance are out there and can help with the chronic yeast issues. What are you going to implement with Elizabeth when her time comes?
* ate = are. Also if the Elizabeth question is too personal, so sorry. You always handle these fun icky personal situations with such decorum.
I remember when I was little, there was some big Sampler Box that parents could send away for. My mom did that for me, so I had this box of, like, 2 of this kind of pad and 5 of this kind of pad and 3 of this kind of pad, all set to go. Maybe tampons too, but I don’t remember. I do remember it was really helpful to try a bunch of different things, so I think I’ll probably do the same for Elizabeth.