This is the kind of thing where I write about it thinking cringingly, “Probably everyone else has already understood this—and probably at, like, age 8.” Nevertheless, my general blogging policy is that if it takes me significant time and/or effort to figure something out (how to get a SIMS child into private school, how to put powdered creamer in iced coffee, etc.), it should go onto the blog, because I am probably not literally the only one who didn’t know how to do it (and because I might need the information again later, because of forgetting).
So, here is what it is this time. Every Saturday night, I watch a Netflix disc, and I prefer to change into pajamas first. But every time I change into pajamas before bedtime, I feel uncomfortable and self-conscious and I think, “I’d really rather be wearing a bra with these.” And that feels ridiculous: I’ll just have to take it off again a few hours later, and why should I wear a bra with pajamas in my own house? So every week I try to talk myself through it: normal to have a body, bras a relatively recent invention, who cares what other people think, get over it, it seems like everyone else says it’s MORE comfortable without one, try to be more comfortable with it because GEEZ, etc. Every week it’s an issue.
This week, I thought something different. I thought, “If I would rather be wearing a bra…why don’t I just wear one? What’s the big deal?” So I did. And I was much more comfortable, physically and mentally.
My point is a little difficult to identify, I realize. I think it’s this: that it’s possible to spend a LOT of time and effort identifying underlying issues and giving oneself psych talks, when actually there’s an easier solution to the problem.
You are hilarious and awesome. My solution to this problem is to wear pajama pants and a tank top with a built-in shelf bra. It’s sort of pjs but I don’t have the nagging “something is missing” feeling. Solved!
this made me laugh. of course i freeboob like eighty percent of the time, so.
Freeboob – ha! I like that!
LOL – “freeboob” – love it!
My similar issue is I’d prefer to go freeboob in those situations, but fear that someone might drop-in. I guess it depends on how late you’re watching the movie…
Also, since my summer pajamas are basically Tshirts and shorts, and my winter pajamas are lightweight sweats – the whole thing becomes much easier as the weather cools. Sweats hide a freeboob much better than a Tshirt.
And again, freeboob – snort! So great :-)
i regularly freeboob in public. if i am working i often wear a tank top instead of a bra. so. apparently i have no scruples ;)
To me the point of wearing pajamas is to be comfy. Which means no bra. And yes, I proudly put on my pajamas WAY before bedtime. But if you feel the need to wear the bra then wear it. It’s all about what makes you comfortable.
I have the most comfortable nightgown that ONLY looks “good” with a bra, so I never wear it, because I’m very aware of my boobs being in the wrong place for the cut of the thing. I’M DIGGING IT OUT.
Ha! This made me laugh!
Unfortunately, I can’t relate to 90% of these comments/problems/solutions because I’m the kind of girl that could run without a sports bra (I DON’T but I COULD) and so it’s hardly noticeable if I wear my PJs with or without a bra.
I have a friend who is very good about pointing out these simpler solutions. When she does, it saves so much time!
Anyway, yeah, I know what you mean.
I had a similar experience (it took years for me to figure this out, though) related to pajamas. We have regular guests at our small lake cabin and there are certain holidays (Christmas: Santa gifts; Easter: Easter baskets) during which I often can’t shower and get ready for the day before our guests or hosts see me in the morning. I hated wearing my pajamas (with a bra) and I felt stupid and gross getting dressed in regular clothes. I’d “wish” I could be like my daughter who, in her teens and now in her twenties, would sleep in comfortable shorts, a sports bra and t-shirt. In the morning, she looked disheveled but “dressed” yet not ready for the day. Finally I figured out there’s no reason I couldn’t do the same thing – problem solved!
I definitely wear a bra with my PJ’s unless I’m in bed. That’s how I prefer it.
Me too! But I have a “sleep bra” (non underwired, gives me a uniboob!) that I wear if I want to wear my pyjamas for a long period of time and then go to bed. I also sleep in it if I know I’m going to be lounging in pjs in the morning.
I often ONLY put on the pajama PANTS. Because I don’t like to be braless for long periods, but I also don’t like the effort of taking off my shirt twice or having to do the bra-through-the-sleeve thing. And I mostly wear t-shirts anyway, which are already basically pajamas.
I wear an underwire bra to watch movies AND to sleep every night, all night, to prevent any additional downward momentum! I have always subscribed to you have to suffer to be beautiful! I blame my mother for this.
I wear an underwire bra 24/7. I sleep better with “the girls” supported.
I have a soft sleeping bra.
I have a similar issue with the “sitting on the couch bra-less” thing if I’m in my PJs – things just get way too saggy, to the point where it’s not comfortable to me. I do sleep in tank tops with the built-in shelf bras a lot (though not always), so if I’m going to lounge around in my PJs outside of bed, I’ll usually where that. It helps me feel more comfortable.
I have sports bras in a size larger than if I was using them to exercise, pretty comfy, adds a support and another layer for modesty.
I wear a comfy nursing bra with jammies before bed. (The stretchy kind that are like a sports bra but NOT TIGHT.) I HATE going without a bra too. So feel ya sister!
Dude. I release the hounds THE MINUTE I get home. No bra from 5pm to 7am – that’s my motto. Of course, I had a reduction in 2001, so sagging isn’t an issue, but yeah. The girls have gotta be free!
“Release the hounds!” Best boob reference ever. My sister calls her breasts her puppies, so this is totally getting passed on to her the next time she sighs with relief and unsnaps her bra under her shirt while hanging out and watching tv with me.
Oh, me too! Maybe not as soon as I get home from work, but often before dinner (so I don’t spill on my “good” clothes). I sleep in a tank top or Tee-shirt (no pants — too hot), but put on elastic-waist shorts (“yoga pants” or leggins in cooler weather) to lounge around in in the evenings, or until I’m done working out on weekend mornings.
If someone comes to the door when I’m bra-less, no biggie. I either crack the door enough to see who it is, and communicate through the crack, or I grab my bathrobe (it’s fleece, like a long hoodie).
If you’re more comfortable in your bra, then yes by all means, wear it. I don’t necessarily find my bras UNcomfortable, but by the end of the day I’d rather have it off.
I am not comfortable without a bra. If I wear PJs before bed i wear the bra and take it off before sleep. Unless I wear a shelf Cami. I just can’t do it, and being braless isn’t any more comfortable for me than having one on so it’s not like I’m putting myself out.
Good for you for just doing what you’re comfortable doing!
You are not alone with the bra/no bra dilemma. If we are on vacation or somewhere with other family/friends, I always wear a bra once I leave my own bedroom. If I am at home and there are no house guests, it depends but someone else mentioned the tank top with shelf bra compromise and I am a big fan of that.
To the more general topic, I often find myself guilty of overthinking things and when I finally come to the solution, I wonder what took me so long!
I am not comfy without some sort of breast support & reading Facebook threads full of people talking about how they take off their bra as soon as they are in the house make me feel like there is something wrong with me. But I keep mine on anyway. I have a nice soft bra I put on with my PJs or I leave my underwire on. Depends on whether I am watching tv in the living room or laying in bed. I don’t sleep in the bra generally but I can if I fall asleep watching tv. I can’t sleep in an underwire.
I always wear a bra under my pjs while I’m still up and about because otherwise I’m just uncomfortable. And then I wear a sleeping bra to bed for the same reason. I figure if I have to suffer having giant boobs, at least I can try to minimize discomfort.
I feel a little like a man reading all of these comments. I am a AA cup, so I have no concept of what it feels like to want to wear a bra for “support”. Even when I was nursing and a C cup, they weren’t saggy and they shrunk right back down after. That being said, I always wear a bra under my PJs if I have company staying with us because I don’t want them to see my nipples through my shirt (They can stick out quite a bit if cold and even in a relaxed state, they are not flat). I feel like it would make everyone uncomfortable (myself included). But in my own house, with no company, I prefer to be bra-less or in a sports bra.
Oh, I love this. I have these little moments now and then too. I tend to call them “duh” moments but in my kinder moods I call them moments of clarity.
The one that springs to mind for me most was many years ago, not long after I’d moved out of home. I’d burned the bottom of a saucepan quite badly and I was fretting like anything over trying to get it clean. I’d tried quite a few things.
…but then I realised that it was OK to just throw it out and buy a new one. I didn’t have a lot of money, but I could afford $15 for a new small saucepan, it wasn’t like I was going to be doing that all the time, and it was SO FREEING to realise I could just do that. I realised that it was because of programming from my mother (I’m not criticising her at all mind you) – we never had a lot of money and we always always ALWAYS fixed anything that COULD be fixed. So abandoning anything, even a small cheap saucepan, was a very bad thing.
Ah, another. I remember going through boxes of my old school things and finding two reports which weren’t terrible but were less than stellar. They were from when I was 14-15. I was 25 at the time, working.
…and when I realised there was no reason to keep them it was such a joy.
Okay, now i”m giggling even more that I read the tweet as “Easter Solution”. I’m going to hell, I know it.
I’m a bra all-the-time person, even before the family moved in next door. I think it’s a mixture of how it was growing up and the size I am. I don’t sleep in one but am getting really close.
Do what makes YOU comfortable!!! It’s your only Five Minutes Peace during the day.
It is a fact that if I take my bra off before 7pm, someone will drop by. And trust me when I tell you, nobody wants to see me with no bra on. That being said, I still very seldom wear one from say, after dinner until I get dressed the following morning.
I don’t have pajamas. My clothes fall into two categories: at-home clothes, and not-at-home clothes.
So when I get home from being out for the day, I change into my at-home clothes. Yoga pants/lounge pants, and two tank tops. Always two. I can’t wear just one. I almost always wear a genie bra with my at-home clothes. Comfy, stretchy, but not uncomfortable because it’s not a sports bra.
I refuse to wear a real bra at home. It’s like telling my boobs they’re not good enough on their own. They deserve the courtesy of relaxing too.
I have no problems walking around the house braless (or entirely naked, for that matter), but I have young girls. Adriana yells at me to get dressed sometimes if I take too long to do so after my shower, so I feel like I have to start paying more attention to these things. And I would definitely bra it up if I had boys (especially teen boys), because I would be a lot more self conscious if I didn’t.
My easier solution moment was about lying. I used to tell lots of random ass white lies all of the time, like making up excuses to not hang out with someone or something. Then one day I realized…wouldn’t it just be easier if I…didn’t? And I have never looked back.
I am LOVING all these phrases for going braless. Releasing the hounds! HA!!
I’m also a big fan of the “comfy bra” solution. I have one that’s shaped like a sports bra but with no smushage (would be highly terrible as an actual sports bra) (i think the technical term is “bralette”) that just sort of corrals the girls without any wires or tight bands.
OMG> How did I never think of sports bras!???? Ya’ll are so smart! My mom always fretted over this for years when visiting us. Would come down at 7 a.m. fully dressed because she didn’t want to be bra-less in her pjs. I finally said ” Just put a bra on when you wake up! And stay in pjs” And she said it was a major light bulb moment. And actually, it was for me too. I don’t have much up top, but hate the nipple sitch. So always a bra. Always. Until bed. But, I think the sports bra thing is a great idea.
My only other experience with this is a major mental breakthrough that other peoples’ problems and anxieties don’t have to bring me problems and anxieties. I JUST learned this like this year. Ridiculous, but mind blowing.
Dr. Maureen is my twin! This was my recent-ish “easier solution”. I haaaate dealing with a bra AND pj top when I’ll just have to take it off or change it later (I’m not ready for bed even though I’m totally in my pj’s! Argh!). And while in theory I’d like to be “free”, in practice, I just…don’t.
Wow, I never realized other had this issue also. I feel more comfortable in a bra so I hardly ever get in my pajamas before bed, but I need to find a “sleeping” bra because that sounds like a really good solution. I never had this problem until I was 30 and gained weight.