We went to a middle school band concert (William “plays” trumpet), and what surprised us was how enjoyable it was. Though WAY TOO LONG. Dear heaven, sitting on bleachers for an hour and a half listening primarily to OTHER people’s children (the sixth graders played for the first ten minutes and then mercifully went to the bleachers; the rest of the performance was 7th and 8th graders) play instruments at a middle-school level is TOO MUCH. Half an hour was what I would have considered the absolute limit, and if that means splitting it up over several nights, then SPLIT IT UP. No, I don’t care how much trouble that is. I watched OTHER PEOPLE’S CHILDREN play instruments for an hour and twenty minutes.
There were two reasons we would call the event “enjoyable,” even though if you’ve heard a typical middle-school student practice an instrument you will find the concept of enjoyment incompatible with reality. The first reason is that parts of it were extremely funny. There is bad playing, and then there is BAD PLAYING. The band leader is conducting, the children are looking earnest with their shiny and expensive instruments, the audience is in their seats—and the ASTONISHING BADNESS of the playing made us squeeze our fingernails into our palms to keep from laughing. And parents are RECORDING it: phones are held aloft to preserve this special moment! We were pink and bright-eyed with the effort of suppression. Well worth the whole evening.
The second reason it was enjoyable was that some of the later playing (not the part with our child) was actually GOOD. Well, to be fair, Paul and I disagreed on this. There’s an elite, by-audition-only 7th/8th grade band segment that the band teacher astutely allowed to play for most of the performance, and I thought they did a really good job, to the point that I was glad to listen to them. I said so to Paul, who said “Eh” and put up a horizontal hand of eh-ness. I also enjoyed seeing one of Rob’s friends play: he’s one of these multi-talented kids who’s confident and good at everything and is nevertheless very appealing. And there was an 8th grade girl on bass guitar who was clearly aware of the coolness of being a girl playing bass. And it DID make me think “Hey, if William keeps practicing, maybe HIS playing could be enjoyable TOO!” So I guess I see what they did there.
My parents had 2 daughters in band covering the years from 1988 to 2000 and they have seen a LOT of hilarious concerts. My dad is a veritable connoisseur of bad middle school performances. I wasn’t even offended when it was my band he was trying not to laugh at. He was right: 6th grade bands turn EVERYTHING into a dirge. We played a memorable, if terrible version of Ode to Joy.
My favorite moment of all the eighty gabillion concerts we have attended over the year was when one of the fifth grade trombone players (mercifully not ours) blew his slide clear off and onto the floor. Clank! The director kept directing with one hand while she picked up the slide and reattached it to his trombone. I was in hysterics to the point that I had to leave the concert. But hilarity aside, band is my favorite of all kid activities for a dozen reasons. Mir Kamen articulated some of those reasons here, http://alphamom.com/parenting/big-kid/why-your-teen-should-join-school-marching-band/, but mostly I loved seeing my geeky kids diving into their social pool and paddling with gusto.
Max had a concert last Sunday. He plays in the intermediate band for our local Honor Band. Kids from all over the metro area are in this band, and they’re pretty good on the whole…but the concert lasts two and a half hours. Twice a year.
Toward the end of the concert they gave out awards. God help me. One million graduating seniors, teacher of the year. I wanted to shoot myself. Even the symphonic winds, who played last and are REALLY REALLY GOOD, were not enough to restore my will to live.
My point is that when people tell you that music enriches lives, they mean you child’s life. Not yours.
‘Tis the season. I’m going to a middle school band concert tonight.
My son’s been in band since 4th grade (he’s in 6th now) and it did surprise me at first how good they could be, if you exclude the beginning orchestra students. (Strings, to be fair, take a while to develop any proficiency.) But now that they’ve been at it a few years almost everyone sounds good. He plays in regular band all year and honors band in the winter and they go to all sort of festivals and competitions. It’s a big commitment once they get to middle school but it’s his only extracurricular activity so it works.
I was in band until I was out of college. I loved band. I thought our concerts were fantastic, particularly in college when the pieces were long and difficult. As a parent, however, who had children in band and orchestra, my perspective has changed. I cannot believe people willingly came to the concerts in which I participated – even in college, maybe ESPECIALLY in college! I also now understand why our director threw in a rousing Sousa march for the concert band! I’m sure it was little consolation as it was usually the encore.
I have band kids and I’ve been sitting through YEARS of it and it gets progressively better and better and the top band in high school sounds almost professional.
My daughter also figured out that playing bass guitar was cool and asked for one for Christmas in 6th grade and looked VERY cool playing it in 8th/9th grade jazz band.
I’ve also learned to ask when specifically my child’d band is going on. Oh? Last? I’ll be an hour late, thanks.
Hehehe… I’d be recording it so I could watch it in snippets at home and laugh.
I played in band from 4th grade to senior year and my mom came to probably a third of my concerts. And sat in the back. And paid bills from her planner when I wasn’t actually playing. At the time I resigned myself to having one of “those moms” but now I can totally see her point. At least she put the checkbook down when it was my group’s time to play.
But bless her, she purchased my clarinet, purchased an endless supply of reeds, and purchased a black blazer when it turned out my boobs were too big to fit in the ones issued by the school (yeah, that was super fun in 10th grade).
My kid’s middle school offers videos of their concerts for sale . NO THANK YOU. It was excruciating enough to sit through it the first time! Not even the hilarity of the badness can keep me interested a second time. But someone must be buying them, or they wouldn’t bother selling them. Baffling.
My husband comes up with any excuse to avoid band concerts, completely unashamed. I kind of envy his attitude, but I’m both more patient and feel more obligated, sigh.
It IS enlightening to see how very, very much better the older/honor bands are. In our middle school the 6th graders perform on their own night tg but they have the 7th/8th honor band come in for a couple of songs. I think that’s a pretty good setup.
My daughter’s school has the nasty habit of planning the performances so no one can leave or arrive late. They’ll have the 3rd-5th grade choir sing a couple of songs, then the K-2nd grades, then the 5th grade plays their recorders, then the choir gets up again, then all the grades sing together–it’s brutal.
But what’s kept me laughing this year are the parents who record it all on their iPads–holding them up, blocking the view of everyone behind them. I keep threatening to bring my laptop with the webcam on top and hold it up during a performance, just to see if anyone says anything.
Ha! I don’t have kids yet, but my favorite part (and my mom’s) of my younger sisters (12 years younger) elementary activities was sort of the same thing. During holiday and band concerts, the badness was enjoyable. In the kindergarten years, the highlights were watching the kids who weren’t singing. One time, my mom witnessed a signle shoe make it’s way up and down the bleachers from a bunch of kindergartners. Highly entertaining. Who’s shoe was it? What was the kid going to do without the shoe? So many questions.
Same thing with middle school and lower sports. There was always some girl crying during, after, or before basketball games. It was fantastic.
H….funny you should mention college bands. My sisters are in several college ensembles (i.e. wind ensemble, orchestra, marching band, jazz band, private recitals). As the much older sister who lives closer than any other family, I try to make it to several concerts a year. I always ask my sisters if I am going to like the concert. As a general rule, the more sophisticated, difficult pieces are the ones that they like, and the ones I hate. But throw in a march or an old standard, and I love it (and they generally hate playing those).
My dad has perfect pitch, so watching our elementary/middle school performances was actually physically painful for him. He would walk around outside until it was our turn to perform.
This also brought back memories of the time my high school tried to combine the band and choir concerts into one night. Three bands, three choirs. Close to three hours. I think my little brother fell asleep in the audience.
My dad still laughs about my 5th grade band teacher introducing our first band concert with the warning “You’ll be hearing some beginning sounds tonight.” I should go call him and thank him again for attending all those piano recitals, choir and band concerts over my school years.
When my niece lived with us for a year she was in high school orchestra and the concerts were indeed physically painful. My husband and I would count down the remaining songs on the concert program. “3 more to go!”
Oh, I enjoyed this so post SO thoroughly. I couldn’t stop laugh-smiling and identifying with every single sentence. My overriding impression of the years I spent in band is indeed summed up by the word “funny.” There’s just such a spectrum of people types in any given band, I think. My favorites are the “bad” section who fancy themselves rebels (BAND REBELS,) and of course the director him/herself, who takes it all so seriously and gets moved to tears all the time. Man, I enjoy the human pathos of band.
Also, this sentence, “We were pink and bright-eyed with the effort of suppression.” pretty much sums up my entire high school experience. Love it.
Have you ever read David Sedaris’ story, “Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristol?” It is about a Christmas children’s pageant not a band performance, but I think everything he says holds true for both.
Ha ha, yes!