It is good, I guess, to get a periodic reminder that I didn’t do the wrong thing when I switched my major from elementary education to business. I have been VERY FRUSTRATED, because Henry’s teacher has asked me to work with him on his handwriting and I’m finding it…challenging.
I can see that he’s definitely having trouble with his writing: I’m saying, “Okay, now write a lowercase N!,” and he’s making a little hill with no stick, floating in the middle of the dotted-line area it’s supposed to be below. So I say, “No, remember it goes below the dotted line, and it’s a little stick first and THEN the little hill.” Meanwhile I’m thinking it would be super-useful if I knew the terms the TEACHER uses for these things. Maybe part of the issue is that she doesn’t say “little hill” and “little stick” and he has no idea what I’m talking about.
Though it seems like a bigger issue is that he doesn’t seem to have been taught to make his letters yet. I consider it my job to help with homework and reinforce skills (e.g., hold flash cards, practice spelling words, check math problems)—but that’s after the teacher has done her part, which is teaching the skills. If he’s making his O’s from the bottom and he doesn’t know a lowercase N has a little stick and he doesn’t know what the dotted line is for, then I’m not reviewing/reinforcing, I’m TEACHING. I’m not trained or qualified for that, AND IT SHOWS.
Let’s not pretend that “Just go talk to the teacher about it!” is an option here. What’s really going to happen is that I am going to keep working on this with him every day, and then next year he will have another teacher who will either teach him to write or will refer him for special services. He’s only in kindergarten, so I am not particularly worried about it. My main worry is not his writing, but that the teacher will think he’s bad at it because I’m not doing a good job teaching him.
Sounds like a frustrating place to be. You could (hypothetically) also go buy a book that teaches the letters, one at a time, with examples to copy, and just have him do a page a day. There are books that will show how to write the letters (where to start, what the lines mean, etc) and you can just be the helper.
But your plan would absolutely work too. Teaching one’s own children is HARD. It’s the overlap and conflict in relationships.
YES! One of those dry erase, spiral bound books really helped Deven get the hang of the letter parts and their order…plus, they can do it over and over, with or without your help. She LOVED that thing and still traces letters (and clock hands and animals and whatever else is in there) for fun.
We have this one: http://www.amazon.com/Wipe-Clean-Early-Learning-Activity/dp/0312499221
And this one: http://www.amazon.com/LeapFrog-Printing-Activity-Washable-19450/dp/B00ASJHIJO
Another thing we have done is draw dotted-line letters for Deven to trace. Good car game, for when I’m not driving, obvs.
Yeah, I personally wouldn’t worry about it too much unless you WANT to teach it to him. (It doesn’t sound like you do. But, if you did, you could probably find a simple practice book that would tell you/him exactly how to form each letter.)
In any case, poor handwriting is very, very common for Kindergarteners – especially boys.
We are having a horrible time with handwriting, too. Lowercase ‘a’ looks like a uppercase Q no matter how many days we sit at the table and work on it. ARGH!
There’s a list of verbal cues (aka pathways) for teaching handwriting on the right hand side of my blog.
Admittedly, I know all of these and it hasn’t helped us much. So with a grain of salt…
Hi Swistle- Li Dude who is also in kindergarten has issues with handwriting as well. If Henry’s school is anything like my son’s school I can say with a good deal of confidence that handwriting isn’t really taught anymore. It is almost expected that the kids can write their letters when school starts. Here on the East Coast/Mid-Atlantic area K is the new 1st grade. I too was very frustrated with trying to teach my son the proper way to write so I did some looking/asking around. We came across a program called Handwriting Without Tears that has been really helpful! You and your child can attend a session with someone who has been trained to teach the program but, if that isn’t avail be in your area the instructions in the book are really helpful and it would be entirely possible to teach the steps on your own. I like the book/program because it gives the kids hints and reminders on how to write the letters, where to place them, recognizing the spacing on a page for letters and then words. Another thing I might suggest for Henry is to use a short pencil and get something called a something called a Grotto Grip. It helps kids/makes them hold their pencil in the proper position.
I second the suggestion. We didn’t get trained, but I bought Handwriting Without Tears on a whim at the store and it’s been great for both boys here!
I don’t think that comment came out the way I wanted it to, and I don’t think you SHOULD have to teach him writing… anyway, I doubt his teacher will think poorly of you as I bet a lot of the students have the same issue. I teach my own K’er and his handwriting? Not good.
I am the kind of parent who emails teachers religiously…and I am pretty sure they hate it. They hardly ever reply.
I personally don’t tend to fuss about handwriting, probably as justification that mine is so bad. Not important…right??? :)
Something we are doing with our son that makes the “learning to write letters” process a little more hands-off (and seemingly fun for him) is tracing. I’m sure you’ve thought of or seen this, but I hadn’t until I saw his preschool doing it. Write out whatever–his name, sibling names, pet names, just the alphabet, whatever you want–on a blank sheet of paper, then slip it into one of those pocket sleeve protector things. He can trace with dry erase markers and it wipes right off, so he can use them over and over. That might at least get him familiar with how to write them/what they should look like. It’s been super useful for our son and he likes spelling out actual words and names and then getting to wipe off the marker when he’s through.
I also don’t think the teacher will think poorly of you–surely this is super common in kindergarten! (Also, Henry suddenly looks very old and grown and mature in this picture.)
It’s kindergarten. Is his teacher really expecting good handwriting? My youngest seemed to wrestle with the letter s. First it was backwards, then it was sideways (I assumed he had knocked it over to subdue it), and now that he’s in second grade, it’s fine.
The other day I was watching someone write an estimate and he was beginning his letters at the bottom. Let’s not tell our kids, but you can be gainfully employed without ever learning to start your letters at the top.
As a preschool teacher, I want to give you a high-five. That was hilarious.
It varies according to where we’ve lived, but we’ve lived in places where the teachers sent home work daily with my first grader of things I was supposed to teach her myself. Like you said – not reinforce, but teach. I have no patience and am not cut out for teaching (which is why I have an accounting degree). It almost always ended with me getting angry and her bordering on tears.
And regardless of where we’ve lived – they always seem to have plenty of time to watch movies at school. “Today we watched The Sandlot!” (or whatever) – and I don’t think every moment at school should be endless drudgery (is that a word?) but if they have time to watch movies (seriously – they watch a lot of movies), I think they have time to teach little things like multiplication tables and whatnot.
Handwriting at his age – is difficult. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Ugh. Yes, I second the suggestion to go get a practice book. You’ve seen them, probably? I get stuff like that at Barnes & Noble. Anyway, I’d think it could save a little bit of your sanity. Jillions of homeschooling moms can’t be wrong! (Haaa just kidding–they can. But seriously, I think a workbook could help.)
Also seriously? Handwriting is just the kind of reason I sent my kids to school to begin with. NOT MY JOB. Well, now it is since I homeschool. But that’s beside the point.
Does your school use Handwriting Without Tears curriculum? If they do, ask if the teacher will send home a copy of the manual–that will help a lot. They teach a song: “Where does every letter start? At the top!” to the tune of “If you’re happy and you know it”. That might help him remember some of the rules. They refer to the parts of letters as big lines, little lines, and curves.
I didn’t read all of the comments but got as far as someone mentioning Handwriting Without Tears – it’s an excellent program that we use at my school as well… I don’t remember if there are any tablets floating around your household, but HWT even has some apps that might be helpful for reinforcing the skills in a consistent way without you having to bang your head against a wall. If his school doesn’t use HWT the language won’t be the same as what the teacher says, but it will help him remember how to make the letters. Feel free to email me if you want to chat more about it – if this was really just a vent then ignore this comment and carry on! ;-)
I used to teach first grade and as a major part of the curriculum we taught handwriting. I expected that the kids could recognize their letters and write them when they started in the Fall, but we went over the correct way to write and it was a challenge for all students (start at the top, keep the lower case letters below the dotted line, all letters have to “sit” on the bottom line etc.) I’d keep practicing with him but wouldn’t bang my head against the wall if he isn’t getting it right all the time or push it too hard if he’s resisting working with you.
My biggest complaint with my Kinder daughter is that the teacher/school doesn’t use the paper with the lines on it! We get these blank pages sent home for the weekly homework which used to be a sentence with a word wall word and now it is a story of at least three sentences. Also the teacher keeps saying to have her “broaden her subjects” which I guess means she is tired of reading about the horse or the cat that my daughter always writes about. Well, too bad! That’s what she likes! you want her to write, who cares what the subject is? And we are not supposed to help them with spelling but when my child asks how to spell a word, what am I going to say? Yes, we try the sound it out method but I am not going to tell her that it is spelled correctly when she asks me. Sorry, rant over :(
I totally recommend the dry erase books too – we have a few and the tracing really does help. My K kid has awful handwriting, but I think all the boys in his class do, it’s the girls who L-O-V-E to color that have better handwriting. I think they work on those muscles more and their brain understands it easier.
I don’t know about your particular child, but my mother (who used to teach kindergarten) once told me that a lot of little kids are lacking in hand strength. Just making spirals or other shapes for him to trace (or mazes) could also help exercise his hand some, if that’s part of his problem.
My particular handwriting gripe with my daughter is that the school put close to zero effort into teaching the kids cursive. When there’s a form she’s supposed to sign her name on – oh my goodness! And it’s not just her, it’s all the kids her age. On the other hand, they can all keyboard like nobody’s business.
We got some Kid-O tablets this year. I cannot say that they’ve helped much, but they’re fun to play with! Here’s a link – I found them cheaper on Zoolily. (But, the little girl modeling them in this link has The Best expression on her face!) http://www.timberdoodle.com/Kid_O_A_to_Z_Magnatab_Magnetic_Writing_Tablet_p/458-100.htm
Beside HWT, I would also recommend the videogame route. Using the stylus on his Nintendo DS has greatly improved his hand grip skills as well as his INTEREST in trying to write, unlike the dry erase books I tried. Even tracing the “spells” in Harry Potter etc., has really refined his motor skills. The Leappad/Explorer has some pretty good games for that as well, (Mr. Pencil) is a new one I got for my 2 yo, for Easter and she is getting pretty good at writing her name already! Also the iPad, lots and lots of free apps that have them tracing letters to learn them. Plus they love them and they do it independently as a REWARD for eating vegetables. WIN.
I also suggest practice books. I have found them at the grocery store, department store and educational toy store, as well as stationary stores such as Staples. I prefer the ones that show an example, then have a complete line with letters that are dotted for tracing, then a blank practice line.
I come from a place where I believe we, as parents, are supposed to teach our children basic skills, and the teachers are there to help them practice and improve on those skills. I am a person who gets extremely frustrated ‘teaching’ my children things (hence the change in career paths from what I thought I wanted to do), but feel it was my duty to teach my children how to print their name, learn their animals, shapes and colours, use scissors, tie their shoes, etc., not the teacher. Having said that, I have a son that has developmental delays and can’t print worth a darn, and can’t tie his own shoes, but that’s not for lack of support on my OR the school’s end.
I agree on parents teaching animals, shapes, colors, scissors, and shoe-tying.
I wish I’d had this when people would ask us why we didn’t homeschool. Sometimes my look of horror wasn’t enough to explain.
My grade 3 girl just came home the other day with pages out of her math book to complete at home. Not homework, unfinished school work. I sat down with her and 5 minutes later told her not to worry about it and sent her off to play. Then wrote the teacher a note to send back with the pages saying that I can not teach her this unit of math, I can ensure she finishes uncompleted work that she understands only. I also said that she needs extra in class assistance with this unit of math, or to keep her in from recess for extra assistance.
She’s not a problem student and usually finishes up her homework in a flash. So these pages being sent home annoyed me. It was so obvious that the teacher didn’t even take the time to find out why the pages were not completed!
But printing in Kindergarten, I would not worry about. Sure practice with him, but it’s early….he’ll get it!
I don’t know if I should have to teach my kids handwriting or not but I know that I couldn’t. BUT I do want to say that my girls, 5 and almost 4, do that Handwriting Without Tears at their preschool and they have magically learned to write all their letters in the last year or so and I swear they don’t even know they have been taught it. It has to do with learning sticks and curves and then, um, somehow they start to write letters. It’s a little hippy dippy and I have heard a lot about it from my older son’s occupational therapists, it’s really worked well for us. So if you are going to work with something, maybe you’d like it? There’s a little thing about it on youtube. Good luck, ugh, I am dreading my kids going to school. I mean, I WANT them to go to school but I am not looking forward to hearing about how I’ve surely been messing them up all these years.
the problem is that many kids do not have the kind of fine motor skills to be able to write their letters properly at age 5. it’s ridiculous that Kindergarten is now first grade and kids are expected to know it even before they start. I totally agree with the tracing dotted lines, either in a book or a dry erase board. but eventually it will all turn out.
If you seriously think that he could be referred for special classes why would you not go talk to the teacher? I do realize you don’t like to approach people but I feel like that one small step could make a huge difference.
I had to address some troubling issues with a babysitter once. once I was very uncomfortable and kept stumbling around but my mom gave me some wise words that I try to parent by now….”When it affects your children it becomes bigger than you. Put your mama panties on and deal with it.” I have to say that to myself at least once a month nowadays.
Good luck whatever happens!
If I seriously thought he needed special classes, I would still leave that to the teacher to decide/handle. I don’t see anything wrong with his handwriting; as I said, I’m worried only that she’ll think the problem is that I’m not doing a good job with him.
If I am understanding this correctly, the teacher sounds like the issue is more his STYLE than his skill. It sounds like he knows what the letters are and how they are supposed to look but his handwriting style is not what it looks like in the pictures. Is that right?
Because, if so, I would check this off your things to worry about list for sure. (and hers too) Handwriting is so personal and individual. It seems like children are made to conform to a certain style instead of simple legibility and none of us write the same nor like what it looks like in textbooks. *end rant*
It looks like he’s holding the pencil “right” but is it comfortable for him? Is it how he instinctually picks it up to use?
OR how’s his eyesight, if the crux of the trouble is staying within the guidelines?
I LIKE how you describe the letters! It’s visualization, which is good for teaching kids.
And: Kindergarten. Teacher needs to take a recess and relax. (:-D Lives are not going to be lost because he makes his “O” upside down.
My son is a lefty and handwriting has been a problem with him for years. I wish I’d known about handwriting without tears years ago. He’s currently 10 and in 4th grade so probably too old for that. But it’s been a thorn in my side for years. Teaches have been of little to no help so I just let it go. If its not important enough to them to teach him how to write properly, I’ve also got other things to focus on like his multiplication tables and fractions etc.
I have to step up here and vent a little with you. My son is in kindergarten and he’s going to have to REPEAT KINDERGARTEN next year. Let that sink in for a minute… He knows his letters and numbers, can write most of them. He can read simple sentences. His teacher wants him to be able to write longer sentences. Read books that a first grader can read.
The kicker of this whole mess? My daughter, who is in first grade is going to have to REPEAT FIRST GRADE also. *headdesk* Her teacher wants her to be reading at a second grade level, write more complicated sentences (ie: When told to write a sentence for her vocabulary, come up with a sentence like “Mary likes to ride her bike very fast down the steep hill on sunny days.” My kid writes, “Mary likes to ride her bike.”) and read books with paragraphs.
This is what it’s like moving from Virginia to Connecticut. There is a huge educational gap between some states. What they learned last year in preschool and kindergarten didn’t cut it at all. These teachers want a whole level above what was fine down south.
I am at my whits end.
/end rant and thank you for letting me vent
That is nuts. NUTS. My SECOND-graders write vocab-word sentences like “Mary likes to ride her bike.”
I know! But what’s worse is when we compare their work with the other kids in their classes, it is very clear that they would fail the next grade level up if they tried to go with the level they are at. It’s blindingly clear and it’s not even the end of the year.
Currently, every state has its own standards for what students are expected to learn. Over the next few years nearly all states will transition to the Common Core State Standards, so expectations for each grade level will be the same across the country. Hopefully this will make it easier for kids who move from one state to another!
He’s in kinder – their handwriting is supposed to be wonky! If you want to practice, I’d go buy one of those practice books where arrows show the direction of the letter.
And…if he never gets better…there is a very real learning disability; disorder of written expression.
Sometimes even putting a sheet of colored paper under a clear sheet, helps them to stay in the lines (weird eh?)
I would like to join in on the rant about classes/expectations being way too accelerated these days. I recognize that that wasn’t really the point of your post, but I find it too enticing to pass up the opportunity to complain. We live in the Mid Atlantic and you would not believe the competitiveness and stress surrounding school– ELEMENTARY school. Well, clearly Shannon (above) gets it. Dude, it is insane. If your kid isn’t “GT”- which is a Full TWO YEARS PLUS ahead in a subject, then OMG there is something wrong, sound the alarm! It’s just ridiculous. Kindergarten teachers expect kids to be reading and writing when they walk in the door. No time to teach basic skills, people!
My kids have done relatively well but by middle school, I move them to a parochial school that has a slower, more developmentally appropriate pace. My eldest is just finishing up her senior year and she has come out successful, scoring well on the SAT but not being steeped in the cutthroat, crazy competitive culture. I can’t wait til my youngest finished fifth grade this year so we can all breathe a collective sigh of relief and leave the competitive nastiness behind us.
Another vote for Handwriting without Tears. ツ It’ll give you the tools to teach him so you won’t have to stress about the process.
Oh my this brought me back to my own childhood and handwriting WITH tears and lots of them. I was an excellent student and could read and write very early but my handwriting looked like a serial killers and still does today. My mom used to keep me inside during the summer torturing me by making me copying pages of text from magazines. Fast forward to adulthood, I’m an artist and sometimes designer (who mostly types) and a few years ago my art was used for an album cover for a semi well known musician. The kicker: the musician insisted that I hand write the liner notes because he liked my “unique” writing style and I got paid extra for it!
Word to this post – I have had exactly the same experience, with this issue, in kindergarten. It seems that the teaching process is – show them a letter; have them practice that letter with a single worksheet on a single day, letting them make the letter any way they feel like as long as they get generally the right shape at the end – and that’s it.
All three of my kids got the “they need to work on handwriting at home” note, and I was amazed at all three at *how* they were attempting to make letters. They had NO idea about things like starting at the top, circling to the left, circles before sticks, etc. I was starting from scratch each time.
And as you point out, if I don’t drill my kids on this – then they continue to get frowned at at school for their poor skills. GAH.
My son had worksheets that really helped him learn his letter formation – which was kind of challenging as he also had to unlearn almost two years worth of making letters that all looked fine but had the starting points assbackwards. I still don’t know how his teacher missed it (FOR TWO YEARS) especially as I asked her to work on it with him (FOR A YEAR AND A HALF) .
And then one day, I bailed up a substitute teacher and she printed stuff for him to practice and it all happened within, like, five minutes. My god.
Anyway! That’s why these links, which might not be the links she found back in the day, but I hope these ones are a) free and b) helpful too :)
http://www.theschoolrun.com/handwriting-curly-caterpillar-letters
http://www.hostmastr.theschoolrun.com/handwriting-curly-caterpillar-letters
http://www.hostmastr.theschoolrun.com/handwriting-one-armed-robot-letters
http://www.hostmastr.theschoolrun.com/handwriting-long-ladder-letters
http://www.hostmastr.theschoolrun.com/handwriting-zigzag-monster-letters
He’s in kindergarten though, right? Like, THE FIRST YEAR OF SCHOOL IN THE HISTORY OF EVER. And he’s five or six?
I’d be shoving Henry’s pencil up his teacher’s nose before I got him to work on his letters.
In a child’s mind, there is SUCH a fine line between “way to go, awesome writing, dude. Let’s do some more!” and “kiddo, you’re really bad at this writing stuff so you need to work hard at it so you can be almost as good as the rest of your class. Chances are though….*shrug*”.
Nah, screw that.
Unless writing letters at home is fun for Henry, stop it. Stop it right now. If he’s getting corrected at school, let home be the place he can letter write because, “YAY! I CAN WRITE! I AM AWESOME!”. One day it’ll morph into the “YAY! I CAN WRITE! I A AWESOME! Except. Wait. That doesn’t look like the ones in mah books. YAY!I AM STILL AWESOME!” phase at some point, and then he’ll be ready for help.
Because I know EVERYTHING.
Obvs.
YES what Aibee said. It’s kindergarten for the love of Pete, what exactly is she expecting???
To answer your question as to if teacher will think you are doing a bad job with your son: no.
I’ve been an early elementary teacher for 25 years so I do have a bit of experience with this. The teacher will think you are doing a bad job if your child shows up to school reaching of urine or with so much grime embedded on him/her that it has to be the result of not bathing for months. Or you drop off your child in the morning and when you open the car door beer cans roll out. Or you show up at school drunk. What I’m saying is, you have to be pretty out there to even show up on the radar of doing a bad job or being a bad parent.
Also, teachers today are told what to teach by people with no background in education. That’s why you see things like handwriting practice in Kindergarten. Most Kindergarten teachers have a background in early childhood and hate this type of thing.
You could also ask what style of manuscript they are teaching and buy that book or look it up on line. I love D’nealian, but does anyone teach it anymore? (not at all sure of the spelling, guess I could look that up, too)
With 45 comments, I wasn’t sure I had anything to add. I was wrong. Commiseration, ahoy!
My son is in daycare. She technically does pre-k work with him, he gets tested by the county, and has homework every day. The thing is, he has HOMEWORK EVERY DAY. Sometimes it’s easy – find the cone, find the cylinder that is behind the cube, what is 78+3 … but then there’s the writing assignments: “write 5 words that start with ‘sh’ and write sentences with two of those words”. Seriously. In (virtually) pre-k. Does this seem like overkill? This one page takes 45 minutes to accomplish, along with a snack and a smoothie.
This summer it’s the goal to get him to learn to read. He can read individual words (he’s great with my grocery list) but stringing them together in a sentence that he understands is difficult. On one hand, I think it’s great that he’s so smart! On the other hand, he’ just five!
And on the handwriting thing he started writing at 3 (daycare, again) and now he actually has pretty decent handwriting. Henry will get there.
My sons couldn’t write “properly” until age 12 or 13. I can’t believe the teacher is raising this big a stink about it in KINDERGARTEN.
Hi Swistle, I’m a bit late to this party but I wanted to point you to a website that I used with my 6 year old when his teacher wanted him to practice writing. This is it: http://www.handwritingworksheets.com/. The site allows you to create your own printing practice sheets that say whatever you want. They make letters or words so the child can first trace, and then there are blank lines for the child to copy and make the letters himself. So you can have your kid practicing his name, or for my grade 1-er I wrote simple sentences that made a story about him or a cheesy joke or something just totally silly that I knew he would find funny (the words “fart” or “butt” anyone??). I was able to print a bunch off and it’s all free so I spent an hour making a tonne of worksheets and they lasted us for a couple of weeks. I made him do just one a day because if it was too much it became a punishment. But if it was silly and lighthearted it was somewhat fun. Hope this helps!
This is GREAT. I just made him worksheets with his name, “pee,” “butt,” “diaper,” the names of our cats, etc. SO FUN!
I’m suggesting this because I think i remember reading that your mom lives close?
Since the school obviously isn’t teaching handwriting and you don’t like doing it, could you get your mom to help? I can sit my kids down at the table and try to make a game of learning something and everyone (including myself) ends up frustrated and in tears. My mother-in-law can do the EXACT same thing and the kids will come home telling me about all of the fun things she let them do because Mema’s house is so much more awesome than our house. My mother-in-law knows this and so sometimes I ask her to help them learn things and the kids have NO IDEA we are conspiring against (for?) them. So maybe get some of those dry erase books, fun letter tracing books (I know they have them at the dollar store with popular cartoon characters), etc. and just leave them at your mom’s house and she can show them these fun new things she got him to “play” with and he will be none the wiser.