I have a question about dressing girls.
Elizabeth wears a skirt almost every single day (her choice). In warm weather, she wears shorts or bicycle pants or cropped leggings under the skirt, so that she can still play normally without having to be careful of her skirt.
In winter, she wears tights or full-length leggings with her skirt. To me, it feels as if leggings are sufficiently covering, but tights might not be. Leggings are opaque enough to completely cover underwear, and tights sometimes aren’t quite as opaque, so that’s an issue if the goal is for the underwear to be hidden. But even when the tights are completely opaque, they seem….more underwear-y, somehow. And that does seem to be the societal perception, if I think about how we’d perceive it in the same situation with a grown woman. Individuals may differ on whether they think leggings are pants or not, but we’re not even having that discussion about tights.
So some days Elizabeth wears shorts or bicycle pants over her tights, but then that is a lot of layers, and it can be a little challenging in the bathroom. Other days I don’t worry about it (especially since she’s only 7) and she just wears the tights. But she is a bit of a “flip upside down” kind of girl, and when I see the tights I think, “Uh oh, her skirt,” but when I see leggings I don’t as much.
So what I’m curious to find out is what other people are doing for their daughter’s clothes. Are tights enough for decency, or do you add bicycle shorts as well?
In my mind, tights and leggings are equal even though I can sometimes see underwear through tights. It would never occur to me to add something MORE over tights.
I think tights are enough for decency, but sometimes not enough for warmth (and some days leggings aren’t either but they are warmer). Our solution is snow pants over everything on bitter cold days (even if there’s no snow). There was also one year when my daughter favored the jeans under a skirt look. At first I hated it but after a while I started to think it was cute, at least on a little girl.
It’s funny, though, because she has something we got second hand and I can’t decide if they are leggings (the seam pattern is like leggings) or footless tights (the material is more like thick tights) and it caused me to be unsure if they were okay to use as pants without a skirt. She thought they were leggings, though, so we went with that interpretation.
You just have to go with how that particular item looks and fits. You shouldn’t be able to see separate butt cheeks, you know? Of course, the physical maturity of the girl comes into play here, also. Just thank the Lord she’s still willing to wear the skirt over them.
I think as long as you cannot see the details of the various under-parts then it’s all good.
We have the exact same situation here. I consider tights to be sufficient. If Maddie flashes her underpants, it’s only a glimpse and a covered-up one at that.
I fully admit that the weather here doesn’t require tights or leggings for warmth all that often. Ours are 95% fashion choices.
For my three year old, I don’t worry about it, but my almost seven year old has a no-showing-underwear rule. If the tights are opaque, they are fine; if the are see-through, she has to use shorts.
I think that as long as she is young enough to still want to flip upside down on monkey bars, she’s young enough for tights to be enough.
My own daughter usually wears leggings in the winter for warmth, but when she wears tights I don’t worry about it. I might instruct her to keep her skirt down from time to time when she’s not in active play, but mostly I let it go. Girls will be girls, after all.
My daughter will only wear skirts and dresses, so her pants drawer is full of tights and leggings.
I don’t feel like they’re equal in covering up. This may seem arbitrary, but it’s what I’m comfortable with – I like tights with “long” skirts/dresses but not with short ones (above the knee). That’s for play clothes, of course – for church or dress-up occasions, it’s usually tights.
I know she’ll probably hang upside down on monkey bars etc. in both short and long dresses, but I think it’s more the everyday stuff like sitting crossleged on the classroom rug where flashing the tights bothers me. It’s easier to avoid that in the long skirts.
Can we also share leggings that hold up and don’t get holes in the knees within weeks? I’d love to get ideas. My favorites tend to be Carter’s or Tea Collection (on their $10 sale, and that’s still pricey), but I’ve given up on Target leggings because she goes through them so fast. Children’s Place seems hit or miss.
My rule is that tights are ok under a skirt, but not ok to just wear as pants – we had this argument last week. On the other hand, my little one is a bit younger. I think you should go with your gut on this one, if you’re feeling like something looks inappropriate, chances are someone else is too.
Tights are not sufficient for my 9 yr old. If she wears them, the skirt needs built in shorts or she wears bicycle shorts. Her school will not even allow girls to do most things in PE class (which they have every day) without shorts under skirts or dresses.
She is 9.5 now, so she prefers to wear leggings with her skirts these days. She says it is cooler to wear leggings than tights.
We do tights or leggings for my 5 year old and I view them as pretty much equal. If the dress or skirt is short, though, then I usually go with leggings. Short for me is somewhere above the knee.
I generally prefer leggings over tights, but mostly because she’s 5 and leggings are easier for her to manage, bathroom-wise.
I think that the regular tights (thin, nylon-y) don’t offer the same coverage as leggings, but some of the thicker, more opaque tights do.
Seems to me that the conflict comes from the fact that leggings would be ok without the skirt, but tights would not. For my 4 year old, I don’t care either way what goes underneath, since she is not a flip upside down type, and likes to be very lady-like when she sits in a dress or skirt. My 9 year old wears leggings under a skirt, as she definitely would be flashing her business to everyone without them!
I tried some cropped tights from Target this past summer and they were too sheer. They were OK under the skirt that had built-in shorts, but not a regular skirt so they were shoved to the back of the drawer. It’s all leggings, all the time here but once it warms up, that’s just going to be too many layers of tight clothing.
I’m already thinking of next winter when my daughter’s school will require uniform compliance, which specifically bans leggings, whereas tights are OK. I have no idea why this is, but I find it stupid since tights ARE more sheer.
I’ve also determined that purchasing a few good quality items that have substantial shorts (bike short style) AND the skirt that’s twirly and flippy, like she likes, is worth trying to piece together several cheaper pieces for a less than satisfactory result.
I would say tights are fine for decency sake, but my girls do leggings for the most part in the winter because they are warmer. And for some reason, I feel like tights are harder to go to the bathroom? No idea why I think that. Plus my 4.5 year old doesn’t like the bunching aspect of tights. I mainly get dresses and find matching leggings, and in a pinch I get white or off white leggings. Not as fancy for sure, but seems better for school.
Ruthie- I KNOW, or sometimes the knees will get all faded—and just after a few wearings. It drives me crazy, especially since leggings are overpriced to begin with. ANYWAY. I tend to buy the Target ones or Children’s Place ones, or Lands’ End if they go low enough. I especially like to get the Target ones if I see them at 70% off, because then I’m less mad when they get holes in them.
Oh, this is my life! I have a sensory kid who will only wear dresses (without buttons of any kind, even decorative). She easily has 30 pairs of leggings. My solution during the winter is to have her wear them with high Ugg-like boots and wool socks (certainly not the expensive ones, instead just boots with fuzzy warm insides). I feel pretty confident that it’s enough to keep her warm without a heavier pant or tights (which I perceive as a gigantic pain in the butt to keep hiked up, but that might be my own experience with them).
I wait each year for spring so I can clear out The Children’s Place’s collection of capri leggings. I can’t stand how longer leggings look when they overlap with socks (which is nicely obviated by the boots) soI love the capri length. TCP leggings hold up relatively well. Certainly some knee ripping but not much. I wait for a sale, get a coupon, and buy multiple pairs of each color. This is the perfect time of year to go. Only one problem, in the last few years, their color palette has shrunk – hard to find more than the typical pink/purple/white/gray but that’s usually good enough.
I try to only buy tights that are opaque enough to hide my daughter’s underwear and then we treat them like leggings. She’s 6.5 and definitely not concerned about flipping upside down or spinning until her skirt flies up. As a bonus, the thicker tights are less likely to get holes than the see-through ones.
I feel like I am constantly pushing Land’s End when it comes to girl’s clothing-but I swear they were a lifesaver for me when my daughter was young. The leggings may be a bit more expensive, but I don’t think we ever had a pair wear out. I ended up giving them away when she outgrew them, and they were still in fine shape. Granted, my daughter is 18 so this was quite a few years ago, but hopefully their quality is the same.
We use them pretty much interchangeably but I don’t know if we will later. I do cringe a little more when she displays the tights. We have a bunch of bloomers that we use under dresses in the summer- we may start using those over tights when she starts school.
My daughters are almost 10, 8 and 5.5. They will NOT wear tights. They don’t like the feeling on their feet. So, leggings are what they wear. My oldest wears short booty shorts under all skirts, even ones with built in shorts (they go to a school that requires uniforms- and skirts are a popular choice with my kids) on her own choice. In the winter, they wear leggings under all skirts.
We only keep one or two pairs of thin tights for with special-occasion dresses. Otherwise, thick knitted tights that hide the underwear and I think that that’s fine for under skirts/dresses at most ages for most kids. Although, I do think that the seams on tights do make them a little too underwear-like but a little kid can get away with it. If I had a 9+ y.o. who was careless about flashing the tights, I’d probably prefer leggings or bicycle shorts over the tights.
I tend to get rid of tights as soon as they’re approaching too short. I don’t mind bunching around the ankles or knees nearly as much as I mind a gap under the crotch or how they’ll pull underwear down.
Also, I’ve had to tape a “glossary” on my daughter’s dresser because often her father or grandparents dress her after I’ve left for work and she’s been dressed in weird combinations for pre-school(empire-waisted T-shirt and tights!)
I think as long as she wears underwear she is covered up–isn’t that the point, to not see her body parts? So then why do we wear other things to not see the things that cover up the body parts? And a third layer seems really crazy! But maybe I’ve lived outside the US too long…..
–Emily
I try not to buy any skirts that aren’t skorts, for just this reason. Yes, leggings under skirts are fine, but if it’s tights, I make her wear shorts under the skirt too. Someday she’ll rebel, but for now this is just the rule in our house. We buy these from Old Navy http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?vid=8&pid=735891012 because of the thin waistband, so they’re good for layering. We don’t do it often though, because I dislike the look of saggy tights bunched around the ankles, and that’s what mostly happens when she wears tights.
I don’t have any daughters, but I don’t see the diff between leggings and tights under a skirt. I wouldn’t wear just leggings myself, unless it was to a gym.
I’ve found really nice thick tights for myself on Amazon, and even some fleece-lined ones! I think that would be enough.
I am brand new in the world of tights as Egg received two pairs for his fourth birthday. I think tights under a skirt are not enough unless it is a long skirt and there is little chance of being upside down.
Yes – the challenge at my household is explaining to my husband the differences between tights and leggings. In his mind, they are the same.
This is a problem because, as Mr. Stay-at-Home Dad, he’s in charge of dressing the 3 boys and our 5-year-old daughter. I can handle strange combinations of navy shirts/black sweatpants on the boys, but there have been a couple times that I’ve come home from work to see my daughter dressed in only tights (purple ones, at least), and a tunic-y shirt that would NOT pass as any sort of dress. And she went to kindergarten like that. Yikes.
To counteract – I try to lay out all the kids’ clothes before I go to work, and I’ve tried to expand my daughter’s wardrobe to contain more pink/purple/teal sweatpants that can coordinate with the pink/purple/teal t-shirts she has (thank you, OshKosh online with a coupon code.) The times we run into trouble is when we start mix-and-matching the tunics/dresses/skirts that we got through generous hand-me-downs.
Can we also talk about easy hairstyles for dads to do on daughters?
One of my girls wears dresses or skirts nearly every day, year round. We usually opt to wear leggings (Lands End) in both summer and winter that are fantastic. Or, we’ll wear thick knit cable tights (winter only, footless, Lands End) that are also great.
We rarely wear tights unless we are in a Christmas or Easter-type dress because tights are not nearly as comfortable, not nearly as durable, and don’t offer nearly the same level of protection (warmth, visual and/or if they fall down and scrape a knee).
The girls absolutely love this ensemble and if they came in my size, I’d wear it, too!
My girlie is a freshman in high school, but when she was in elementary school, this was our life (she preferred dresses until 4th grade and still wore them quite a bit until she moved on to middle school). We always bought leggings for under dresses when it was too cold for bike shorts/knit shorts. She wore a LOT (probably 80-90% of her wardrobe) of Gymboree; I was a PRO at their sales and buying a season off and stocking up at clearance sales/online sales/etc. So the leggings matched her clothing AND were unbelievably high-quality. We “handed down” her stuff and the mom said it all looked like new!
I agree with the folks who said that tights cannot be worn alone, so they aren’t “enough” even when they are opaque.
To me most of the winter just feels too cold for a dress or skirt, even with tights or leggings. However, once it warms up a bit, my 4-year-old starts asking nonstop to wear her skirts.
For warmth, I like first leggings, then thicker tights. The thin, see-through tights only feel right on those days when we debate whether she even needs a jacket or if a long sleeved sweater is warm enough.
For modesty, I tend toward what a few others have said, along the lines of her being too young for a brief glimpse of her My Little Pony undies isn’t worth worrying about. (Mine isn’t an upside-down on the monkey bars type of girl.) As long as she isn’t showing skin, I’m not going to stress about that yet.
The mention of husbands not getting it reminds me that just last night my husband pointed at our daughter’s tunic-length t-shirt with 3/4 sleeves and asked me if it was a dress several sizes too small. I explained that it was supposed to fit like that. He was so confused. It was quite cute.
The other day my 3.5 year old got herself ready for ballet, I gave her underwear, tights, her shoes and her little ballet dress. When she took off her tights later, after her class but while her sister was still in class, I never thought a thing about it until she BENT OVER and her BARE ASS was exposed for everyone to see. I said, Veronica, what the hell? Where are the underwear I gave you and she said I had TIGHTS, MOMMY! Sheesh!
Anyways, my girls are big jerks about only wearing skirts and dresses, EVER, but they don’t like tights so it’s all leggings all the time. I would think tights are enough for decency (but you obviously can’t go by me) but not for cold. I will be so glad when it warms up so I can stop having these FIGHTS in the MORNING.
I skipped the whole issue by basically NOT buying dresses for my girls for school. Real helpful, huh?
Anyway, IF/WHEN they EVER wear a dress in the winter, then I try to get them to wear leggings OR those thick, woolen tights which are NOT see-thru when they are in P.E. or recess or whatever. But my OTHER issue with those clear-like tights is that they are not durable enough for a girl to PLAY in, and my girls PLAY, they do NOT sit demurely. And I do not want to pay lots of money for lots of pairs of soon-to-be-ripped-up, cheap tights.
In the spring, they wear shorts underneath. And bobby socks.
My initial reaction was “Tights are fine at this age for coverage!” but then I remembered that my husband had suggested the same thing for my three year old the other day and I scoffed that tights do not equal leggings. So, I think some little shorts underneath would be best…
I only buy thick tights; thin ones just snag too easily. So they are often thicker than some of the crappy leggings out there! I also never buy white or light pink — that is just way too much work to keep clean.
That being said, I think tights & leggings are equal. They are both fairly thick and if a dress flies up once in a while, who cares, no underwear can be seen.
HOWEVER, my pet peeve is leggings are not pants! I would never let my daughter (or myself) where a top that didn’t cover at least the butt with a pair of leggings. So seeing a kids’ butt with leggings or tights on, either doesn’t matter.
And while on the topic, underwear should NEVER be worn under tights when wearing a leotard! (ie. at ballet).
I try not to say this out loud on Teh Interwebz but I teach middle school and we as a faculty are horrified by how many girls are wearing just SKINTIGHT leggings and a t-shirt to school. We can see their Hello Kitty underwear sticking out of their low-cut leggings, we can see the outline of their underpants and it’s sooooo inappropriate. I’m a grown adult woman and I do not like seeing so much of these girls’ bodies. I cannot imagine what it’s like for the hormonal teenage boys. I do not understand why their mothers are letting them out of the house like that…except that when the moms come to school for any reason, they’re wearing skintight leggings too. Leggings are not pants. LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. They have separate clothes they are required to wear for gym. They have plenty of time to change. But we cannot say anything to any of the girls because our dress code doesn’t specifically mention leggings and because then we are asked why we are looking at the girls like that and we’re accused of being sexual predators. If they’re not wearing leggings, they’re wearing skintight jeans that show just as much. It’s really frustrating and I don’t think there’s anything I can do about it. I want to stand up and APPLAUD when I see girls with a skirt or dress over their leggings!
I have many feelings about this, sorry.
If my almost 4 yr old is wearing tights, then they have to be the thick knit tights that are almost like leggings. Then again, my daughter is still in the stage of liking to run around without her pants on at home.
As long as the tights are not sheer, I prefer tights. Strongly. I just really dislike the look of leggings that stop at the ankle under a skirt! Fashion faux-pas.
I think as long as it’s not bare undies under her skirt (when she’s upside down) – it’s fine!
I always dressed my kid in thick knit tights (MP/Lands End) & it never crossed my mind that seeing her bare tights would be somehow…undecent.
I think leggings under a skirt are cute – there is nothing faux pas about that!