I’m beginning to feel as if all nutrition information is like the medical information from the days when we still thought illness was caused by evil spirits instead of germs. One old woman tells you that if you have a wart you should put a certain leaf on it, then bury the leaf under a full moon; another old woman tells you that on the contrary, you should put the juice of a certain berry on it, then sleep on the non-wart side for a week. Meanwhile, the old man in a hut in the next village over says that the wart is a manifestation of a resentment you have toward a friend, and his neighbor says it’s that your blood is full of heat and you need to eat cooling foods.
I think to myself, “I will not try to get all COMPLICATED with Specific Eating Restrictions, I will just start with what I KNOW”—and I am lost first thing in the morning at breakfast. Do I eat a good hearty serving of whole grains? Or do I instead avoid grains and eat only protein? and should it be LEAN protein, or doesn’t that matter as long as I’m not eating sugar? Or is it important to eat grains and proteins and fats in particular percentages? Or is what’s REALLY important that it be a WHOLE food, not a processed one? a raw food, not a cooked one? Only foods that conform to an arbitrary limit on number of ingredients? readability of ingredients? (Yay, smart people and people who took Latin aren’t affected by the same things as other people!) Is breakfast the most important meal, or should I “listen to my body” (what does that…MEAN?) and not eat if I’m not hungry? Should I have a piece of fruit packed with fiber and antioxidants, or is fruit full of sugar that will throw off my whole day? Are legumes power foods that do everything but our taxes, are they not intended for human consumption? Does coffee speed up metabolism and also contain important antioxidants, or is it a dangerous dehydrating stimulant that will make me hungrier when I crash?
I like the “Just do the best you can” attitude and the way it avoids the pursuit of unattainable perfection—but it only works when we know what perfection we’re not attempting to fully attain. There can’t be a “best we can” when we don’t even know if fruit and whole grains are EXCELLENT for us or THE VERY THING KILLING US.
Eat whole grains under the full moon! Eat antioxidants between the spring and winter solstices! Eat proteins but only on days when the goddess’s face is visible on the side of the moon, and bury a pear at dusk on the days you eat whole grains! CONTROL THAT BLOOD HEAT. HARNESS THOSE BAD SPIRITS!
This should be included with every fad diet book/site. I still like what Michael Pollan says, “Nutrition is a young science, like surgery in the 1600s. Interesting to study, but I’m not sure I want to participate.” Like a leech to the spleen.
I’m partial to the Michael Pollan quote: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”
I totally agree. I’m so lost now as to what is good for me and what’s not that I usually just give up and eat whatever the hell sounds good.
You know how I feel about this (http://www.hilarity-in-shoes.com/2011/03/01/tried-and-true-diet-tips/)
I feel your pain, as I think a lot of us do…my new plan is to wait until I get rich and hire a nutritionist and a chef.
I’m with Michael Pollan also. And I subscribe to the belief that if it grows and is edible, it is good for you in moderation. Admittedly, the “in moderation” part can be tricky because I admit that a “moderate” amount of coffee is different from a “moderate” amount of spinach. Nevertheless, if it grows and is edible, it’s good for you in some way.
One thing that drives me bananas is the way people seem to think that EVERYONE should avoid gluten, that wheat gluten is some sort of highly processed, terrible poison, when in fact people who can’t eat gluten have an allergy, or even disease. A DISEASE.
It is absolute nonsense. Every person has a different formula for weight loss so don’t listen to anyone. And with that, I will give you the following assvice my husband gave me when I needed to lose 40lbs of baby weight. He said eat whatever you want whenever you want but you need to be 500 calories in deficit every day to lose one pound/week. You need 3500 calories to make up a pound so 7 days a week x 500 calories in deficit a day = a pound off a week.
So there’s my assvice. It worked for me, good luck!
Oh, you have put words to my frustration. I get so caught up in trying to do what’s “right.” Only recently have I put of my blinders and decided to do what feels right to me. I’m eating as close to the ground as possible (i.e., the less processed, the better), and trying to pay attention to what my body tells me about things I eat. Check back in 6 years and I might have it all worked out.
Yes, exactly! I feel the same way. Too much information!
My son’s Kindergarten teacher asked us to only send “healthy” snacks to school. And, for a minute, I was completely stumped as to what that would even be. I mean, I know that cookies or candy would obviously not be a healthy choice, but beyond that, I’m lost. Are granola bars okay (sugar!)? Rice krispie squares (low fat, but no real nutritional content!)? Crackers? Popcorn? Sure, I could send freshly cut veggies with him every day, but I would think she knows as well as I that they would just end up in the trash.
I love the spirit in which this was intended because…OMG, what the hell IS healthy these days, right? I mean crimony!!!!
I’ve spent the last year pretty aggressively pursuing what is healthy for me, and after a year of it (and almost 100 lbs lost. Woot!) I’ve come to 2 conclusions:
1. There is no one size fits all way to eat. People’s bodies are different. People’s goals are different. People’s genetic makeup/symptoms are different. To say “everyone should be a vegetarian, it’s healthy” or “everyone should avoid carbohydrates, they’re unhealthy.” I mean — TO WHO? There are too many variables for those types of blanket statements, in my opinion.
2. If you are considering making a dietary change and want to gauge results, you have to commit to it for at least 30 days. I used to do a week of this here, and a week of that there — but it’s not enough. 30 days seems to be a great experimental period to gauge surface results. And if you don’t like the results…well on to the next because: SEE POINT # 1.
Anyway, you have a great knack for making polarizing topics entertaining. Thanks!
Linda is right; everyone is different. My sister lost 100 lbs on weight watchers and a strict NO FAT diet. I eat loads of good fat, and tons of protein to lose 84 lbs.
The only time I have worried about fruit in the morning was when I had gestational diabetes. I like the Dr. Oz book, You the Manual and You on a Diet because he really talks about what works for human bodies. It makes me insane, the stuff you talk about, to worry about my freaking BLOOD TYPE or something.
It is truly insane all the conflicting info on weight loss. I finally narrowed it down to “how do I feel?” both physically and mentally. I really started thinking about how I felt after I ate certain foods. I noticed when I ate sugar, I was more anxious and I didn’t sleep as well. If I eat protein and a fruit or veggie in the morning, I feel satisfied and have plenty of energy. By narrowing in and focusing more, I think I might have figured out a way to eat in which I won’t feel deprived but also lose some weight.
My grandmother likes to say, “Can’t eat the food, can’t drink the water, can’t breathe the air. Might as well just give up and die.”
My Granny, the optimist. I think the important thing is to listen to your own body and do what you think is best for you. For me, that means refined grains make me want to die of acid…but protein (especially that of the animal kind) does not give me any pain. (Shrug)
I am losing weight and still eating McDonalds ice cream cones at least once a week. Whatever works, right?
Love this post!
So many commenters making such sense… I quit listening to the the “no carbs,” “organic only,” “no processed foods” people. Maybe that works for them, but the truth is that, as with exercise programs, you have to figure out what works for you or you’re setting yourself up for failure.
What works for me is “everything in moderation.” I eat chocolate, but too much makes me feel icky. I eat pasta and bread, but too much makes me sluggish. I eat fruit, but too much… does unpleasant things to my stomach. Not enough water/too much soda makes me break out. I have a long memory when it comes to the food rules, so when they eventually contradict rules from 5 or 10 years ago, I just roll my eyes and go on as usual.
Eating hamburger helper once a month might make me die years too early, but so might a zillion other things not yet discovered or that idiot texting on the interstate. Meanwhile, I’m going to just try to get from day to day with my sanity intact.
Amen! And this feeling is also how I feel about the baby/child sleep advice. Conflicting, negative-campaigning advice. Nothing is right, everything is wrong.
FWIW, my “healthy” eating rule of thumb is that if I’m eating a lot of high-fibre foods and drinking lots of water, that will get me plenty of “healthy” food and elbow most “unhealthy” foods out of my way.
What I would really like is if that food goddess you’re talking about would tell me exactly what’s right for MY body. I know it’s different from everybody else’s, so they can’t tell me and it’s just too much work to figure it out myself. Plus, it’s always changing, depending on if I’m pregnant/not, breastfeeding/not, wanting to lose/maintain, etc. Arghhhh.
It’s interesting to me how often eating for health and eating for weight loss are lumped together. Eating for weight loss can be WAY different than eating for good health, in my opinion/experience.
I can easily give advice about weight loss. Nutrition? I’m right with you.
My opinion? Listen to your body.
LOL, you are a genius with words, and I love this post :) You make such a good point! I just try to stick with low fat, high fiber foods, and get as much fruits and veggies as I can. I had gestational diabetes, so I know there were lots of rules when I was pregnant about not having fruit or dairy (or hardly any carbs at all!) first thing in the morning. However, my grandma is diabetic and her blood sugar does something weird where she ends up HAVING to eat those things first off in the AM! So unless you have pre-diabetic tendencies (and then your doctor or nutritionist can give advice!) I don’t know that it really matters WHAT you have for breakfast (at least in the fruit versus no fruit debate. Donuts are probably universally not recommended!)
Brilliant, as usual Swistle. There is so much quackery out there.
Lots of level-headed comments, too. I appreciate who ever said that nutrition is a young science. Very true.
It is annoying. The other day I was reading about this family that subscribed to only whole foods for so many days and in the article it said something a long the lines of the worst thing was when the daughter (who was 3 or 5 or something) was upset when she couldn’t accept a doughnut from a friend. I mean really? Seriously? I just. I don’t know.
I try to stick with foods that are generally agreed to be healthy (fruits, veggies, whole grains) and then do the other stuff (mac n cheese, chips, ice cream) in moderation. But who knows if my idea of moderation is really correct.
i had to stop reading the good calories bad calories book because it was so confusing and depressing. I was SHOCKED, so shocked, by some of the things i read in there that I went out and bought a large bag of doritoes and ate the whole thing.
sarahbb- Yes—there is so much in the comments section here about weight loss, but what I meant was nutrition.
LOVE.
I’d also like to add how frustrating it is to CONSTANTLY be reminded how horribly unsuited our current environment is to our Essential Nature or whatevs. SO OVER that.
Oh my pasta, you hit the nail on the head. I am so confused all the time about what I’m supposed to eat to be healthy, what I’m supposed to avoid, how much or how little, and I would like to say all that causes me to lose my appetite, but no.
I wish I could live in my grandmother’s world, where she believes butter contains no fat. But then,she’s almost 90 and it great health, so what do I know?
Lol, I completely understand. 2 weeks ago my doctor told me I am diabetic and have high cholesterol. Well! Hello crashing black wave of sadness and depression! Avoid carbs! Avoid sugar! Avoid dairy! Avoid meat! Except fish, but only 2x a week and only certain kinds! There is NO easy way. My doc told me (read:yelled) that I NEED to eat in the morning as it helps start you insulin production and keeps it more level throughout the day. I HATE eating breakfast. *sigh*
My day now normally consists of:
Oatmeal/9 grain hot cereal (1/2cup dry)w/ 1/2 apple or banana chopped in, walnuts on top
OR
1 cup cherrios w/skim milk
-Black bean/quinoa burger (homemade/baked)w/ketchup and onions – no bun
-salad with quinoa s&p
-tuna salad wrapped in lettuce
At dinner I have to accomodate my husband also. The rule is 1/4 of plate is lean protien, prefferably cooked without oil. 1/4 of plate is grain (only whole grains now). 1/2 of plate is non starchy veggies. Sometimes I do 3/4 of plate is veggies with some starchy veggies thrown in instead of grains.
My life sucks right now. I spend at least 15 minutes everyday crying. And many hours feeling sad and depressed. I now have to take 3 extra pills a day and test me blood sugar. Were it not for my ridiculous dietery restrictions my new philosophy would be to do what makes you happy, but use a touch more common sense.
Good luck on your quest for better eating, but have a snickers, cheeseburger and a Mojito for me, eh?
Right. Remember when no one was supposed to eat egg yolk? Now it’s all, egg yolk is awesome! And full of some specific mineral whose name I cannot recall that we NEED for brain function. Our brains are not going to function if we eat no egg yolk. Or how no one was supposed to eat carbs, and then started eating highly processed no-carb breads that acted as a gas-giving substance. Or – OR – I am a vegetarian and many other vegetarians eat these highly processed “certifiably vegan meat-like products.” Those are gross. Is it really better for the earth to eat such highly processed food?
AAAAGGGHHH! So many decisions. And “new health sciences” are being discovered ALL THE TIME. WHAT ARE WE TO DO?
Love you SO MUCH!!!
It’s true. It’s way confusing. I pretty much eat some sort of fiber cereal each morning (1 cup only) and there are days when it TOTALLY fills me up for nearly 4 hours and other days when I’m reaching in my “lunch bag” for something to munch on during my morning commute.
This is why I just say “screw it” and eat a lot of brownies. True story, a couple of years ago I started eating more “real” food and cut out processed stuff almost all together. I now feel soooo much better but I’m also fatter than I ever was before. You just can’t win.
I love your writing so much, you are too funny. Sorry I assumed you were talking about weight loss when you really just meant nutrition – they are closely married in our society. So, you want to eat healthier but don’t want to lose weight? Okay, just different from the norm. So why do you want to eat healthy then? For shiny hair? Or long nails? What? Break it down for me. And please be gentle….
linda- Nothing specific-specific, more like…longevity, and keeping things in good working order as I get older. But so far we’re waiting for science to figure out something, ANYTHING, that holds up as true!
YES! My main concern these days is eating for WELLNESS, not even weight loss per se, because I do eventually want at least one more kid and am desperate to avoid another miscarriage. So I’m trying to get healthy well in advance, and… it’s so CONFUSING! And I want to feed my kids well, and that is confusing too. The only thing I know for SURE is that breastmilk is always healthy, so I guess I should just nurse everyone until kindergarten. Sigh.
I can relate to this post very much. I’ve started watching my diet again for reasons of health firstly, and weight secondly. I’m generally a whole-foods person, but the paleo diet thing has really thrown me for a loop. What if they are right?! My solution is to try not to think about it too much. I think it helps that I was on the whole foods train a few years ago, felt really great & looked good (to myself), so I know what worked for me then & can just do it again. (I understand that there are places where the two overlap, but I am definitely not eating in those places on the imaginary Venn diagram.) The most discouraging thing to me is that the more I try to make positive changes, the more I research to try to make the best ones, thus finding more information that makes all positive changes feel completely for naught unless I am doing this one specific thing, taking this one specific supplement, etc. And let’s not even talk about the detrimental effects of my chlorinated shower water, which negates ANY OTHER HEALTHY THING I COULD POSSIBLY DO.
I’m not so much concerned about eating for nutrition. I’m sure I should be but my ancestors (and I mean like great grandparents) lived on fried chicken and biscuits and gravy. I’m just worried about weight loss (they all lived to be int heir late 80’s but they were all fat as hogs. Go figure.
ha! Love this post!!!
I follow the paleo diet but a lot of those ppl are crazy as loons. I’ve seen discussions go on forever about a BANANA.
ZOMG, the BANANA IS EVIL! DON’T EAT IT, it will KILL YOU.
People and their first world problems.
Oh – I love this!
One of my husband’s aunts (who is trying to avoid developing diabetes and therefore VERY concerned about how her body processes sugar) was recently told by a doctor not to eat grapes – that (FOR HER) it was like candy.
I know his advice wasn’t that we all stop eating grapes, but it made me feel like completely giving up. If I am living in a world where giving the children grapes isn’t healthy then forget it – potato chips for everyone! :-)
Among the problems here is that we are SO FOCUSED on losing weight at all costs that most people have lost track completely of how to eat normally. Pandangon had a great piece about this recently when there was a mini hullabaloo about Michelle Obama ordering a shake and fries or something. People were all ‘well, she’s the healthy eating queen!’ and the point Pandangon was making is that we have totally lost perspective on what to eat because all anyone wants is to be thin. And broadly speaking, diets do not work and in fact often do far more harm than good, and active fat people are healthier than inactive thin people.
I really love The Fat Nutritionist about this, and in fact am going to take one of her courses. http://www.fatnutritionist.com/
Another big dose of love for Swistle, sarahbb, and the fat nutritionist
I just stick to chocolate. It’s less confusing that way. And heart-healthy, too!
By the way, where have you been all my blog-life? Just clicked over here from Simcha Fisher…
RIGHT?!
This was funny is a TOTALLY REALISTIC AND CRAZY-MAKING WAY.
Don’t even get me started on SUPPLEMENTS. Grah.
I don’t worry too much about what I eat since I attempt to eat veggies and fruits and whole grains. What I do sometimes worry about is whether my children will turn into little piles of rubbish from eating Cheez-Its. But I think this is preferable to said children dying from starvation since if I tried to get them to eat veggies and fruits as much as I’d like they would go on hunger strikes.
Hi Swistle!
I read your blog all the time but have never left a comment.
I just wanted to let you know that the best way to eat (not diet but EAT) is this:
At every meal 1/2 of your plate needs to be veggies. That can be salad or grilled, raw or roasted veggies. The only exception on the veggies is that potatoes or corn do not count towards your veggies.
The next 1/4 of your plate needs to be a protein. This can be fish, pork, beef, chicken or whatever. The meat can be baked, broiled, grilled, etc…
The last 1/4 of your plate needs to be a complex carb. This can be fruit, whole wheat or whole grain anything, pasta or even a half a potato or ear of corn.
I am a diabetic and when I eat this way I feel good. I don’t have any of my usual stomach issues. I don’t feel starved between meals and it’s easy to eat this way anywhere because you are using your plate as a guide.
I am late to the game on this one, but:
AMEN.
Good point, Anonymous! When you follow your guidelines, I feel great! I hope you feel good when other people eat in the way that works for their bodies.