Elizabeth’s tonsillectomy went just fine. She was the first patient of the day on a non-busy day, so she got a lot of attention and everything was done sooner than predicted. I barely had time to have a cafe mocha and a strawberry-cream-cheese danish in the coffee shop before they were calling me back to see her.
Our main nurse was exactly the style I do best with: she told me the whole story in advance, like this: “First I’ll do x, y, z. Then the anesthesiologist will come in, and he will ask you some new questions, but he’ll also repeat some of the questions I already asked you, for safety. Then the doctor will come in, and he will do the same thing, and also he will listen to her heart and lungs again. After he leaves, that’s when you should get dressed in your paper suit.”
After we went home, things were pretty rough. Elizabeth threw up a lot, and she tried to cry about how much her throat hurt but couldn’t cry because it hurt too much, and I lay awake that night fretting that she wasn’t keeping her antibiotic down, and that I didn’t know if I should wake her up for her pain medicine or if that would just make her throw up all over our bed, and that she might have to go back to the hospital (the ENT doctor said that if she couldn’t keep fluids down he would check her right back in and give her an IV). (A measure of my phone anxiety is that I was just as nervous about the possibility of having to make that phone call as I was about having her back in the hospital.)
Another thing making me nervous was all the conflicting information. The post-tonsillectomy sheet from the ENT doctor was different than the post-tonsillectomy sheet from the hospital. The verbal instructions from the ENT doctor were different than the verbal instructions from the nurses. I didn’t know who to follow.
The nurses, I’d think, would be more familiar with the practical effects: the doctor gives his instructions and then is gone like a summer breeze, while the nurses are there caring for the barfing patients. But the doctor is at least in theory the boss/expert of this show, and he’s the one I’d have to answer to if something went wrong as a result of me NOT following his instructions, and it’s hard for a layperson to tell the difference between the nurses who can wear the “Thank a nurse: we keep the doctors from accidentally killing you” t-shirts and the ones who really shouldn’t take that adversarial tone.
Oh, I could ask for clarification when I find differences in instruction? Genius! But often such questions don’t crop up until after I’m home and the potential complication mentioned on the sheet presents itself—so I would need to call. And more importantly, ask WHOM? If I ask the doctor, he’ll tell me to follow his instructions; if I ask the nurses, they’ll tell me to follow theirs. And both will have good reasons!
You know, maybe the professionals could work these differences out among themselves, rather than putting patients in the middle to figure it out and make guesses and “trust their guts” (which I find seems to work only in hindsight, during the self-congratulating/rebuking stage of a decision). I have EVEN LESS of a medical degree than either of the two groups, so I don’t really care how much “YOU have to be the ADVOCATE of your HEALTH!!” is going around, I am not QUALIFIED for that POSITION. Which is why the Large Checks go FROM me rather than TO me: I’m paying people with education, expertise, and experience to tell me what to do, because “my gut” doesn’t know anything ABOUT tonsillectomy recovery.
(She was way better on the second day, thank goodness.)
oh, poor elizabeth! and poor SWISTLE! was puking part of the *expected* recovery process?! because that sounds incredibly terrible for someone to go through who has just had tonsils removed. eeek.
(unrelated, but maybe-related-so-just-in-case-i’ll-mention-it: while recovering from surgery years ago, i learned [the hard way] that it was CRITICAL for me to eat some crackers or something w/each dose of meds, because them + empty stomach = puke city, for me. that wasn’t a universally true side effect of that med, though, so the dr didn’t mention it until AFTER the many pukages.)
Oh Dear! This is tough. I’d hedge towards the nurses because hospitals nurses usually are the ones that keep the doctors from killing us. But… It really depends on the info that is conflicting.
I hope today is much much better for you and for Elizabeth!
“so I don’t really care how much “YOU have to be the ADVOCATE of your HEALTH!!” is going around, I am not QUALIFIED for that POSITION.”
This! A thousand times this! They’re the ones with the knowledge, who am I to act like I know better? It’s all so very stressful.
We found out last week that my son has to have surgery, but barring any changes, we can wait until next summer so he doesn’t have to miss school. (He’d be out 2 weeks.) The idea of fretting about it from now until June? Ugh.
I hope you’re both feeling better today.
Complete agreement with everything you said. This is why I hate doctors. And calling.
Maybe Elizabeth has an anesthesia allergy/response? Did they give her Phenergan? I have a friend who gets violently ill no matter the operation if they don’t give her Phenergan or something similar. My tonsillectomy kid was miserable but no vomiting. That sounds horrific.
I wondered how her operation went. Poor little thing – barfing with such a sore throat, I can’t imagine.
When Jake had surgery last November, I also encountered the conflicting instructions. It was very frustrating. Do I take the bandages off in 48 hours or three days? Do I dovetail Advil/Tylenol doses or do I wait 6 hours between every dose? Add to that my husband and his thoughts that he is some kind of medical expert rather than a finance guy and I was ready to explode.
I am following the tonsillectomy story with great interest because my neighbor’s little girl has to have one a scant two weeks before her first day of kindergarten, and they have assured her mom repeatedly that she will be totally back to normal by then. However, my sister had one a few years ago (albeit at age 23, not six) and her recovery took… longer than THAT, so I’m going to keep track of Elizabeth’s progress to let my friend know if this two-weeks-to-normal promise is in fact likely to come true.
Erm, not that I think it’s likely Elizabeth will feel terrible for weeks and weeks! Because everyone always says these things are a breeze for kids, right? So don’t worry! I’m just keeping tabs on it to reassure my friend, not because I totally EXPECT Elizabeth’s recovery to be long! Gah. Moving on. The other thing I wanted to say is this: I totally agree that you can only take that “be your own health advocate” and “read everything you can online!” advise to a certain extent. It’s great that doctors are no longer on the same plane as GOD to the average American, and that we all feel a little more comfortable and knowledgeable about health related issues, but still. WebMD = not the same thing as ten plus years of college.
On the other hand, I still research stuff myself, because on several occasions my doctors have given breezy, snap prescriptions during pregnancies, which, after discussing it with their nurse and looking it up online, I was not comfortable with, and I ended up asking for a different drug instead. Awkward? Yes. But also kind of infuriating. I wanted to say, “Isn’t this why I pay YOU, to keep up with the most current medical research on this stuff? Not so I can go home and look it up myself?”
But GENERALLY, with the exception of being slightly prescription-happy sometimes, I do trust my doctors.
I’m sorry about your anxiety. I hate trying to figure out what the “best decision” is when my child is sick and might get much sicker if I do something wrong.
However, I simply adore your way of dispensing with Cliched Responses to a Real Cry for Help.
Darn. Get well soon, Elizabeth!
I think medical things are SO HARD to navigate and that no matter WHICH part of the medical industry you are trying to navigate, you’ll get conflicting information. One of the things I love about being a doula is helping people through it all. Like (this is for our specific hospital), breastfeeding info should come from the lactation nurses ONLY, THAT nurse always blows everything out of proportion, THIS nurse works with xyz all the time, so she knows what’s up, DEFINITELY ask your doctor about that particular situation, etc. It’s so NICE to know the ins and outs of a place and even NICER to be able to help others figure it out.
This is why I think doulas should be available for ALL KINDS of medical situations. There should be doulas for kids having surgery, doulas for cancer patients, etc. Wouldn’t it be WONDERFUL to have one person that you choose and hire (and therefore works FOR YOU) that could walk you through it all and answer any questions and say “yep, this is totally normal” or “Oh, that dr always says that, but it’s ok to listen to the nurses b/c of xyz.” And maybe people wouldn’t hire a doula for a tonsillectomy very often, but other bigger, longer-time medical situations (like cancer or a NICU stay, for example), it would be GENIUS!
I am glad the surgery went well, but I am stressing out just thinking about all the conflicting advice from the doctors and nurses. You would think there would just be Standard Procedures for this sort of thing, and they would be handed to you on a neatly typed sheet of paper. Perhaps even laminated. Sigh.
Oh, so glad everything went ok.
Get well soon, Elizabeth!
Ugh conflicting medical advice and be your own health advocate – sometimes infuriating!
I’m all about advocating for my health, but I’m not a doctor or any kind of medical professional and I don’t know squat other than to say things like “this medication isn’t working” or “this medication is making my kid barf.” What to do about it is the doctor’s area! And let’s be honest, the internet is the worst place to go to look for medical information because it is chock full of conflicting advice/worst case scenario stuff designed to give me a panic attack/just plain BS.
Am sorry you have to deal with this. Frustrating!
My middle guy was 4 when his tonsils came out. He threw up in recovery but it seemed to be from the anesthesia. He stopped pretty soon. He was so miserable :(
He ate a lot of ice cream over the next few days and gradually would eat other things. We were told that the more he ate the quicker he would heal and he is such a chow hound we figured he would do great but he was reluctant to eat without ice cream before and after each meal!
We had a scary setback about 10 days after the surgery and spent some time in the ER. Hopefully Elizabeth will do very well and be up and at ’em very soon.
Is her voice different? Clay’s was like a toddler voice and it was so cute!
OH boo this sounds awful! I’m glad she’s doing better the second day. Here are some things that may be helpful. If they are not, please disregard! If she’s still having nausea, there are tablets they can prescribe that can be dissolved under her tongue. These are pretty damn handy to have around so if you don’t use the whole prescription, save for a rainy day. If you can bear to do it, wake her up for medication, especially if it’s pain meds. I took mine with a small dose of liquid yogurt (Dannon probiotics, I think) and that seemed to be easy to get down and also mitigate any tummy trouble issues. It really helped the healing process/pain issues to have a regular schedule. That way I didn’t do from “I feel ok” to “MACH 3 PAIN ISSUE” the minute it started to wear off. Oh I hope she is doing so much better by the time you read this!
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You’ve just described one of the fundamental problems with modern healthcare: communication! There are some facilities where everybody (MDs, NPs, RNs, PT, OT, etc.) all sit down together and talk about the patients and what the best plan of care is and it works SO WELL because you get everyone’s perspective and recommendations. And in other places they don’t do that and things are disjointed and the docs are annoyed when the nurses make recommendations and the nurses are bitter because the docs are only there for 15 minutes out of the whole day. Uggggh. Frustrating.
Here’s the great news– uncomfortable or no, everyone made it out alive and almost well! I’m glad things went as smoothly as they did, and the recovery will surely go more smoothly every day.
Hang in there!
Seriously? They can’t even coordinate their written instructions? I can see how verbal guidelines might vary, but you’d think they have to know by now their written sheets differ. Do something about it, people!
Ugh sounds like a nightmare. Doctors are the reason I never go to the doctor. Go figure.
I’m so glad it went well. That’s a relief.
I’m so glad it went well and so sorry for that rough first night. FWIW I would call the nurse and ask for the doctor. People always act like I’ve called HEAVEN and asked for JESUS when I do that, but eff them, I figure. Even if I just leave a message for the doctor and get info from the nurse, at least everyone knows that I’m talking to everyone and I’m more likely to get the real story. I NEVER get all the info I need at the hospital, ever. It’s too hard to be that worried and also be so efficient that you can wade through 18 different sets of instructions. Here’s to better days ahead!
Of the 3 surgeries we’ve had this year, (2 for tubes, 1 for hernia) the nurses and surgeon/ENT all told us different things but said to follow the surgeon/ENT’s written instructions over the nurse’s general ones. Of course, that probably doesn’t help you now… but just for future reference, I guess.
I’m glad the 2nd day was a lot better!
I hope you both just feel better every day and that soon she’s enjoying her recovery playthings – if she isn’t already!
Awwwww. Poor her and poor you. I think it’s way more traumatic for parents, really. I remember the sore throat from my own tonsillectomy a million years ago–it really is awful. I hope she bounces back quickly.
If the advice is very conflicting then I would likely call whichever you are most comfortable with and find out why. It could also be that the nurses were giving you information that was more based on Elizabeth then just, “Everyone does this.” I don’t know. I always hate when I don’t completely know what the doctor means and they can’t explain it any better because to them it makes sense.
So glad all went well!
We had a similar thing happen when N had her tonsils removed in June. The ENT said to wait to fill the phenergren RX because she might not throw up. N threw up once but I couldn’t remember how many times throwing up needed to happen before I gave her phenergren or needed to go into full-blown panic mode.
So I called the nurse at the surgery center (since they said to call there with questions.) I asked the nurse and she said “Did you give her phenergren?” I told her no and what the ENT had said. The nurse replied, “Well you should have given it to her.” And then she told me how many times of puking before panic was allowed.
As it turned out, N only threw up once, but due to the nurse’s latent hostility I had my husband run out and fill the RX just in case. So now it is just biding its time in the closet until it expires and I can toss it.
Arg.
This DOES seem like something that people with advanced degrees would be able to figure out amongst themselves. It seems like the written instructions should be good because if it’s written down they could get sued over it so they should be very careful to get it right. But verbal instructions might be more specifically tailored to your patient, so maybe those are better. Ugh.
I’m very glad that Elizabeth is recovering well. Maybe she will become an ENT doctor or nurse and work this one out!
I’m glad it went well (all things considered) and I hear you on the conflicting instructions thing!