Hey, do you remember awhile back when Edward had to get blood drawn because he’d lost several pounds in the year between check-ups? Well, a reasonable number of days after that blood draw, we got a call from the nurse saying all the bloodwork came back normal, but that the doctor wanted to see Edward a month or two later for a weight check. I think weight-checks are a little silly if everything is otherwise fine, but I haven’t had enough therapy to be able to say, “Hey, why don’t I just weigh him at home and call you if there’s been a change for the worse?” After thinking it over, I decided it was worth the $20 copay to avoid swimming upstream.
So today was that appointment, and at the appointment it was revealed that the bloodwork was NOT all normal, that Edward is anemic. And I would have been mostly okay with this little surprise, except that I definitely got a “You must have not have been listening when we told you about this before” vibe about it, first from the nurse, and then from the doctor. Not a BIG vibe (they are both VERY NICE), but a definite SLIGHT vibe. Which changes things completely for me: I am as fine as I can possibly be with a no-harm-done misunderstanding (we are all HUMAN; occasional mistakes are COMPLETELY UNAVOIDABLE), but NOT for it to be assumed that I’M the weak link when I’m NOT.
In short: it’s good I was too much of a wuss to argue against the wisdom of having a whole appointment just for Edward to use a scale in front of someone with a medical degree, because I also ended up finding out something I was too much of a wuss to make clear to them that they didn’t tell me before.
Not that it would have done any good to make it clear they hadn’t told me: not only does it change nothing ANYWAY, but also they would have continued to believe that they HAD told me. In my experience, in every job there is a set of things people constantly claim are true, despite them not being true. Pharmacy customers, for example, claim to have spilled their narcotic painkillers down the sink, or to have received too few narcotic pills in the bottle. Occasionally, this is a true claim: it DOES very occasionally happen that a bottle of pills gets spilled; it DOES very occasionally happen that someone miscounts a bottle of pills; and it makes sense that of all those times, a small percentage would involve narcotics. It’s odd, then, that almost all of the claims are made about narcotic medications, and only verrrrry rarely about non-narcotic ones.
Similar Frequently Used Lies occur everywhere, and employees of those everywheres do get a bit HARDENED to their own oft-heard sets of them. It is tempting, then, for an employee to assume they are ALWAYS lies, and to act accordingly. Statistically, this is a solid plan. BUT: treating the statistically-unusual person who IS telling the truth as if they are lying is SUCH a bad move, it cancels out any statistical efficiency of treating everyone the same. And yet, I also understand the extreme reluctance to take blame and make apologies in the smug face of someone who KNOWS he or she is getting away with a lie, so I don’t know where that leaves us, except to say that it is almost impossible for me to protest the truth of the kind of claim I KNOW is almost always made as a lie to that sort of employee, and so I almost never do, and I didn’t do so THIS time, EITHER.
And also, they want to see him back in a month or two for another blood draw. If you have experience making that procedure easier for a child, I would be very grateful for the advice.
Grr, argh. I would tell your doctor what I tell my older boy when he argues with my younger boy on a fine detail (about which he is usually wrong, like how the sky is NOT made up of a lot of colors, but just BLUE, for example), and say, without agreeing or disagreeing with anyone, “Would it really harm anyone for you to just nod your head and say alright?” Because, seriously, WHY does this doctor or nurse need to disagree with you? Grr, argh.
Grr, grr, grr! I totally got that vibe from our vet when Penny was diagnosed with heartworms and I protested that she was on the medicine consistently and he said that there was NO WAY that could happen, and well… I just took it even though he was wrong. gah.
And no one actually returned thier books to the library on time and our computer just missed it. No one….except the ones who did.
Such a frustrating situation.
I make blood draws better by having the sucker already in the kid’s mouth while they’re setting up. It’s best if it’s a tootsie roll one AND you have a spare.
I always promise a treat after the blood draw and we always bring a lovie along to squeeze.
You’re a better woman than I am. I would have insisted they didn’t tell me and been enraged by the obvious fact that they didn’t believe me. Which reminds me of the infuriating encounter I had with my eye doctor’s receptionist that I have just recently been able to think about without spiking my blood pressure.
Sorry – I hope your son is okay, is what I should have started with instead of making it all about ME.
Very glad that you found out this important information and that you are keeping your focus on your son. You are a far better person than I am though- I would have FLIPPED about the phone call. Even though it wouldn’t change anything really, I would not have been able to suppress the urge to make that abundantly clear. If I catch any of the vibe, I get so defensive. Probably something I should work on!
We had to go for monthly weigh-ins when my daughter was a toddler because she grew so slowly. In the end they decided it was just that–she grew slowly. She’s still tiny, but healthy.
Also, I had such a hard time with that kind of statistical thinking when I was teaching college and grandmothers (always grandmothers and never grandfathers) perished in droves around paper due dates and finals. The thought that just one of them might actually be telling the truth kept me from showing my skepticism openly but I rarely gave anyone an extension for their real or fictional dead grandmothers.
Sugar is an analgesic for infants and I think it might kick over to the preschool years. I would load your kid up while waiting, preferably with a form that will remain in their mouth during the blood draw and perhaps stop up some of the wailing (say, lollipop rather than chocolate).
In the past it’s been very very helpful when I have my flu shot first with toddler on lap so I can narrate exactly what’s going on and how not-big-a-deal it is is apparent from the fact that I remain cheerful while the needle is stuck in my arm, and then the toddler is totally like “OK, my turn!” and he’s had some remarkably serene shots. I guess that’s not particularly helpful in this case unless there is some annual bloodwork that you might need that you can get them to do for you right before they do Edward’s blood draw. But perhaps you achieve some of the same by having read some books that feature blood draws or otherwise talking through it ahead of time, emphasizing that you do this all the time and it’s a big part of being a grown up. But I think it could backfire with some kids who might fixate and make it an even bigger deal than it needs to be?
We have an upcoming blood draw for the toddler, and my toddler has sat on my lap for my having a LOT of blood draws so I’m hoping that this very large volume of past experience of sitting on laps of people getting blood drawn will make the process less scary. But I’m looking forward to hearing other suggestions, too!
It’s not just doctors, it’s everyone. The other day I was in Target to buy overnight diapers. There was a note right below the diapers I was buying that said you got a $10 gift card if you bought two, so I did. It didn’t ring up so I asked about it and some ninny came over to check. The guy she was talking to said it was for another kind of diaper and I said to the girl, okay thanks, but just so you know, that sign is RIGHT below these Huggies Overnights, maybe they’d want to move it? I mean, I had LOOKED at it! She COMPLETELY ignored me, like, what did she care that I was too dumb to read a sign? Ugh.
My older brother used to get blood drawn every Saturday for, like, ever, but he was around 10 at the time. I don’t remember what they did but I know he went to lunch with my Dad after (this was unheard of in my family). I wish you lots of luck, I hope you have a great nurse who makes it pain free!
Just a quick thing from my sil the nurse, if you kind of pat or rub or smack lightly or otherwise stimulate that area before the draw, it keeps the pain receptors a little bit busy, so the draw isn’t felt so much. Either that or it is a distraction, but the placebo affect might work with that. I also am upfront in advance, that it will hurt a little but not for very long, and that it helps a lot to distract ourselves, and give option: do you want to sing a song, should we talk about something fun that’s coming up soon, do you want to hear a story, that type of thing. And yeah, lollipops don’t hurt. I also talk a lot about being brave doesn’t mean liking it or even not crying, but doing what you need to do.
Good luck!
Is he taking those gross iron drops they give babies? Those are awful…
One of my students last year (first year brainiac school) told me another student couldn’t come to class because he was snowed in. Obviously, living in the south of France (where it maybe snows once every 10 years, in January and at most a couple of centimeters) and it being the middle of March I was rather sceptical. But the student in question eventually turned up (2 hours late for a 3-hour class) and showed me a photo (on his phone) of him, with the day’s newspaper, standing in front of his house with (no kidding) 25 cm of snow on and around his car. I was deeply impressed – both with the snow and his reading of my (unjustified as it turned out but COME ON. March. South of France) scepticism. Man, I love me some brainiac students! So cute!
make sure he has had plenty of fluids and make sure you ask for the pet at doing skinny viens. and yes, there is always someone that they call when they have someone with bad veins. don’t let them sit there and dig around for a vein. there is no excuse for it.
Alice has to have quarterly blood draws, and she’s lucky enough to get specialized blood-drawers (ha!) who only work on small children— but the frequent experiences have taught me this: YES on sugar during the draw (a sucker works wonders), and YES on lots of prep and talking about it beforehand including being honest that it’s going to hurt a bit but not for long, and YES for distractions but not so many that it’s causes the kid to freak out (I actually bring my Ipod with a movie on it, and she will watch that while they draw blood). But what has worked the BEST is this little gadget they have called Buzzy the Bee, and I swear to you – it’s a little vibrating machine in the shape of a bee that they strap onto Alice’s arm, and SHE DOESN’T FEEL ANYTHING. The doctors say it’s a new thing, and that the vibration confuses their pain receptors. An amazing thing. I hate to tell you about it in case it’s something so new-fangled that it’s totally unavailable at any other medical establishment, but it doesn’t hurt to ask. And especially if it becomes something he has to go through regularly, it is a life saver. Good luck!
Agree with the above. Be honest it will hurt a bit (don’t say it’s like a mosquito bite, for eg), but say itll be over by th time you count to ten and “let’s count to ten out loud together while it’s being done!” Have a lollipop ready immediately upon ending (I mean, unwrapped and in font of his face, if not already in his mouth), and promise a fun treat afterwards (lunch out, buy a small treat, hire a DVD etc) and make a huge fuss to everyone you see about how brave he was, including to sibs (warn teacher also of potentially sore arm so other kids can try not to bump him there). Oh and lots of hugs as necessary. Totally agree with person above saying what bravery is and isn’t. In the end, it’s over very fast. Nice for you AND him to focus on :)
I have only one thing to add to others comments and it may not be helpful, because my daughter might just be weird.
She had a lot of blood draws starting around age 3-4. We got a kids anatomy book and talked about veins and how the blood flows through her body and carries the things she needs to the places it needs to go.
She finds getting her blood taken fascinating.
Other than that, be honest about how it hurts for a little bit and then it’s over, ask for the nurse whose the best at doing the “hard stick” cases, big treat afterwards for being brave, which as others said, is defined as putting up with this whole thing and trying ones best to hold still until it’s over.
I confess the secret for my daughter was playing the cupcake game on my iPhone durin blood draw. Didn’t even flinch.
Hope the blood draw goes well!
And I am SO SUSCEPTIBLE to the “assume the other person is lying” habit. In my job, I get lots of calls from people who “totally entered that information – the system must not have saved it”. And yeah, I think that’s a total lie EVERY TIME. The system has never not saved data that I’ve entered. However, I have seen the system do some pretty weird things lately, so I should really work on not being so skeptical about it. I usually try just say, “Well, I’m not sure what happened.” and try to keep the skepticism out of my voice.
Uggh I don’t know. We’re still in the stage where I have to physically hold Boo down to get her blood drawn or for her to get a shot. It usually helps that I cry harder and louder than Boo so it makes her look like a champ.
All I can say is yuck yuck yuck.
If it’s just an anemia check, can they do a finger prick like you get when you give blood? Or do they still need to check for other stuff & get a full blood draw? Might be worth asking about.
I am so righteously indignant for you just reading this. I HATE stuff like that.
I’m so sorry you guys have to go back for more blood. That completely sucks. :(
It is annoying when doctors claime to have told you stuff when they have not. I’ve been seeing a lot of doctors lately, and sooner or later they all do it.
We have valium for my dog (he has seizures) and my husband actually did knock the bottle in the sink! I was so worried they’d think I was stealing my dog’s valium like an addict that I fished out as many pills as I could and blow dried them.
Would the promise of some small reward for good behavior during the blood draw work?
wow
That makes me angry. I would have lost my cool because HELLO? I would have noticed you mentioning anemia…
In the meantime it has gone untreated, where if you had known you could have made dietary changes or givin him a supplement.
I am so sorry Swistle.
I had an anemic daughter and she really struggled with the iron supplements causing constipation. So I researched dietary ways to increase her iron instead.
At least next time they will probably just do a finger stick.
that is all
It must be tough not to be skeptical in a profession where you’re constantly told lies. When I used to work for the unemployment office years ago, everyone claimed they had NO IDEA why they were fired. Then the employer statements would come in, and it would turn out the employee crashed the company vehicle while drunk or something. It’s hard not to get jaded.
I was just talking about this kind of thing with my husband, who took two of our kids for well checks last week. The doctor talked to him like he was stupid (of course). He asked about an anomalous anger/defiance issue with our 4 year old, and of course was told it’s a phase. The doctor assumed we only had the 2 children and that we needed to be educated, even though we’ve been there forever with all 4, told us we should take parenting classes if we can’t figure out how to deal with the 4 year old, blah blah blah. All the while, we are trying to communicate that we think something is possibly WRONG with this child. I mean, we have 4 children. We’ve been through “stages.” We know what different ages look like. We know what’s normal and what’s not, and yes, this MAY be a stage, but it’s a stage definitely in the range of TWO STANDARD DEVIATIONS ABOVE/BELOW THE MEAN.
The doctor would never use the word “standard deviation” with anyone so stupid as a parent. Sigh.
/rant
It is completely frustrating when you are held responsible for information you didn’t receive. How were you supposed to know that? Your own home makeshift iron tests? You would have thought they would have talked your ear off about diet changes and/or iron medications or SOMETHING. And that they might have noticed if that DIDN’T HAPPEN AT ALL.
Have him drink warm-ish water on the way to the doctor, it helps the veins swell thus an easier draw. One of the tricks Kev uses.
I love the lollipop idea, that is genius. I think I’ll have one the next blood draw I have!
Do you have a children’s hospital in your city? They are experts at drawing blood from children (obviously!), and it might be worth the drive. Most have an outpatient laboratory where you can have it done. Double check with your insurance to make sure they can do the testing as well, because I don’t know if they will send the specimen to another laboratory.
Best of luck!
Angela
Our son has had plenty of blood draws and it usually goes well, but I think we’ve really just lucked out and it’s his personality. Things that do seem to comfort him are to sit on my lap (or his dad’s lap) during the blood work, and also to watch – I personally must look away during blood draws lest I faint like the delicate Southern Belle that I am, but he actually prefers to watch it. Probably the same reason he likes to watch people bashing each other with light sabers.
Someone above also mentioned taking him to a children’s hospital instead – this was great advice for our kid when he was a tot, but they only allowed kids to go there up until age 8 (but I believe Edward is younger than that, no?).
The comments others are making about iron supplements is making me want to plug my childhood staple of Floradix. It has a particular herbal flavor that one gets used to pretty quickly (I find it pleasant). The wife was veering into anemia and was recommended trying this by her midwives, before the perscription one, as being particularly well absorbed without being constipating. She stopped being anemic, so, worth its being rather pricey.
Also, cast iron skillet cooking!
What does FUL stand for? I can’t figure out the title of this post.
cakeburnette- Frequently Used Lies.
When Benny was small, he had to have shots in both thighs once a month. They gave him something called “Sweet-Ease” or similar, that was basically sugar water. The nurses squirted some in his mouth before the shots and again immediately afterward. They said (as someone above mentioned) that there is some research indicating that sugar is a pain canceler? killer? distracter? (can’t remember the dynamics of it) and that they now recommend using sugar before shots and sticks. It *really* seemed to help Ben.
Why this doesn’t happen everywhere at every stick/shot, I don’t know. But sugar that kid up, I tell you.
Also, I love the explanations here of what being brave means! I hadn’t thought about it that way before and will def. use that on my kids.
Hugs
corinne
I like the sugar water idea.
Telling my son “No one loves getting shots. NObody wakes up and says ‘Oh, good, today I get a shot.’ but it is pretty fast, right?When you think about it it really doesn’t take long and hurts less than say.. skinning your knee on the driveway.” He went in fairly stoic and when the nurse told him he handled it better than some 16 year olds he floated out of the office — and now considers himself something of a professional blood draweree.
Good luck!
I didn’t read all the comments, but just in case no one has said this yet – I told Harper the thing about how babies find injections less painful when they have something sweet in their mouths and she decided that sure, it couldn’t hurt to suck on a piece of candy while having a shot or having her blood drawn (which we do for allergy testing).
I don’t know if this is true but she believes it… I think it works in the same way my mom’s friend’s “Magic bee pin” kept bees away from me as a child.