Remember how just a couple of weeks ago I was all, Summer is going GREAT!?
Never mind. Forget it. I ran out of steam.
We’re still going to swimming lessons, but activities at the library have almost completely ceased (in many cases, because so many of them are scheduled at the same time as our swimming lessons, a conflict I’d thought we were avoiding by booking lessons at lunchtime), and today we have no swimming lesson and yet I don’t feel at all motivated to figure out something else to do—even though I know full well that if I don’t schedule something, everyone is going to end up bickering.
I seem to have lost both my “Hey, I can DO this!!” feeling AND my “Hey, I WANT to do this!!” feeling. In exchange, please accept “When does SCHOOL start?” and “Why did we have so many CHILdren?” and “There are not enough CHAIRS in this LIVING room.”
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Also, a school-related vent: the school supply lists. They NEVER WORK OUT. Either we don’t get the list until the first day of school, by which time all the back-to-school sales are over, OR, worse, we get a long list in the mail well before school starts and I carefully purchase everything on the list, only to be told by the teacher on the first day of school that “Oh, the office just sends those out—here’s my completely different list” and now all the back-to-school sales are over.
Here is what I want, because “asking for what one wants” is allegedly more mentally healthy than complaining about what one doesn’t want: I want each teacher to send out their own supply list, and I want it on the last day of school with the report card. That’s when we get the classroom assignments, so by the last day of school it’s already known what teacher the child will have—and except in the case of a new teacher, the teacher can use the same list year after year. The office can in fact combine this with the classroom-assignment sheet, since they’re printing out a million of those and custom-assigning one to each child ALREADY: top of sheet can say “Your next-year’s teacher is ____!” and rest of sheet can say “Here are the supplies you will need!”
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I just read Hilarity in Shoes’s post about post-break-up post titles (post post post), and I DO feel bad that it is DEEP MISERY fueling this excellent funniness.
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I bought a box of Drumsticks ice cream treats for the children to try, because I have a general summer policy of “a new fun treat each week.” Later that night, putting something else away in the freezer, I noticed my terrible error: FOUR Drumsticks per box. FOUR. The box was the same size and price as 12 ice cream sandwiches, 12 ice cream bars, or 24 popsicles, and I hadn’t even thought to check my unknowingly-held assumption that I would get enough Drumsticks in a box to hand out to five children.
Anyway, I was telling this sad tale to Paul, and he said that it probably wasn’t a big deal—that I should check beforehand with the children, because Edward didn’t really like meat, and Rob was squeamish about eating meat off a bone. And there was a long pause, and I said, “But they don’t have ANYTHING TO DO with meat! or bones!” and he said “…”, and I said, “DRUMSTICKS! The ICE CREAM TREAT! Did you never have a Drumstick as a child??”, and he said “I did! I did! But I thought you meant you bought a box of frozen chicken legs, for them to try!”, and I said, “BUT I SHOWED YOU THE BOX!!”, and he said “But I didn’t see it!”, and I said “BUT I WENT INTO DETAIL ABOUT IT BEING A CHILDHOOD TREAT EVERYONE SHOULD TRY EVEN IF IT IS A DISAPPOINTMENT!”, and he said “But I thought you meant CHICKEN!”, and I said “CHICKEN IS NOT A CHILDHOOD TREAT!”
Anyway, now we’re cleared up and we’re agreed I need to go by another box of them, even though 75 cents (on SALE!) for a Drumstick is more than I’d expected when I embarked on this mission. (Ice cream sandwiches are TWENTY-FIVE cents.)
hahahaha CHICKEN IS NOT A CHILDHOOD TREAT!!!
I so hear you on the “I showed you the box!” “I didn’t see it!” WTF? hahaha…. also t hat sucks and would annoy me greatly. I need 6 per box so I can give them 2 treats, but 5 works ok because there are 5 of us except ONE of us is allergic to nuts… soo.. two for me? Maybe that’s not such a bad idea hmm.
My children had never had them before either, but were greeted this week at the beach at their grandparents house with the Costco size box of them. They were gone in 4 days.
Yes, but if school supply lists were handed out the last day of school I’d totally lose it before the back to school sales.
Does your area not put the list in stores? Where I live now AND where I grew up, the lists are sent to Wal-Mart, etc. and stacks of them are kept in the school supply aisle in a display filed by school/grade. The list display goes up when the school supply sales start. It’s amazing.
That so sounds like a conversation I would have with my husband. hahaha
I agree on the school lists. that way you’d be prepared and they could use 1 piece of paper. Win/win!
“Chicken is not a childhood treat.” So very true.
I hate those kinds of miscommunications with my husband. They are often over something very small and yet we are on such different pages as to be on opposite ends of a book and I find it MADDENING.
The school list thing also sounds maddening. I dislike when others’ procrastination messes with MY time/money, which is exactly what the late list distribution is doing.
I cannot imagine how much you pay to outfit FIVE children (or 5 next year) with school supplies. Be still my heart. I have two and nearly gag.
We have the exact same experience with school supplies except with this added attraction: the info comes out in dribs and drabs. A list of required supplies here, recommended supplies a few weeks later and all of it likely to conflict with the classroom teacher’s list. Argh.
I was going to say the same thing about the lists at Walmart. I don’t have kids (and when *I* was in school, we didn’t have to bring things like boxes of tissues and ziplock bags), but that seems like a nifty way to do it.
My husband does crap like that ALL THE TIME. It drives me insane. It will come out in the course of a conversation that he really had no idea what I was talking about and yet didn’t bother to clarify. Basically he’s just “Mm-hmm”-ing and “Yes, dear”-ing me. Bonkers, I tell you.
“BUT I SHOWED YOU THE BOX!!”, and he said “But I didn’t see it!”
Oh my gosh, I about snorted out my tea. Because this has never happened to me. At. All. Grr.
Chicken is a childhood treat to starving or neglected children who would also be mighty grateful for a trip to the library.
GIHOS!
Wow, I enjoyed that Drumstick exchange. CHICKEN is not a CHILDHOOD TREAT! Indeed. Unless maybe you were my youngest sister, who preferred A SLICE OF DELI TURKEY to a COOKIE. Freak.
Anyways, now you’ve got me wondering why on earth they called a frozen ice cream cone thing a DRUMSTICK.
So that ideal situation you laid out for school supplies?
That’s exactly what our school does. Near the end of the school year, the school tells everyone who their teacher will be, sending out a paper with the teacher’s name, a “this is what i like to do!” introduction, and a list of school supplies we need for that class. Each kid’s list is different, so we just bring the lists and all pick out school supplies at our leisure.
Have you suggested to the school that they do that? Maybe they’ve just never even thought about it?
Hee hee. The drumstick conversation is just too funny.
I thought I’d be all sadsies about my oldest going to kindergarten this year, and my middle going to preschool for the first time. But I think I’m excited to have them go. They bicker all the darn time when there’s nothing to do.
Oh.My. Your re-telling of your “Drumstick Conversation” with your husband made me laugh out loud. So funny!
The drumsticks conversation was hilarious! Also, thanks for the link to Hilarity. It rang a little too true for me, but if I can’t laugh at myself then what do I have left!
We did get one childs list at the end of the year. I never manage to have it with me when I shop, so I took a picture of it with my phone, and now I can check out the sale stuff and see what is on the list. But I still don’t have the list for the other child (different schools). I really want a drumstick now. Not the chicken kind.
This whole post pretty much made my entire week, but the Drumstick story actually had me actually produce tears of laughter. I bought a box of them not long ago and while four does work out well for a household of two, they are damn expensive.
Our local Wally World has the sheets sitting in the aisles about three weeks before school starts. I know you hate that place but did you try running there and checking to see if ya’lls is out?
I love the drumstick miscommunication–that really made my day! Chicken is not a childhood treat!
My supply list vent: When teachers combine the items that the children need and the items the the teacher would like donated into one supply list, giving the appearance that everything is necessary.
I am more than happy to make a classroom donation, and I usually send a note to the teacher a few times a year, asking what they need to most at that time. But I don’t like being manipulated in to making an unwitting donation.
An example: my son’s fourth grade supply list asks for 180 pencils. 1-8-0. One hundred and eighty pencils for one child. Where we live, that works out to a new pencil every single school day. Can even the most forgetful child lose a pencil every single day?
Oh man, at my son’s school they have started not even telling us which class the kids are in until the end of August. WTF? So, there is no choice but to run around like a maniac just before school starts after everyone else has their supplies already. Am dreading it and it’s only July. Bleh.
But this means there will be 3 for you.
Get the chocolate cherry or the ones w/caramel in the middle.
Our school PTA organizes an on-line school supply order system before the end of each year. No need to know teacher as they do it by grade. Delivered and kept at school. I well remember the store lists from my childhood though!
Jessica- They do put the lists in the stores—and then when we get to school the first day, the teacher says, “Oh, that’s just the one the office puts out. HERE’S what you need for MY classroom.”
Sigh.
Our schools send the next year’s supply list home on the last of school but we don’t find out their teacher until right before school starts. I would love to know that info sooner! Especially since our schools are strange and we aren’t even sure which campus our kids will be on.
My presonal rant about school supplies is that the almighty LIST has specific brands on it (the most expensive) which I go to greatlengths to buy, they don’t want your child’s name on ANYTHING and it all gets lumped together and parcelled out during the year. Then I notice my kids coming home with off-brand supplies instead of what I paid for. ARGH!!!!!
So I write my kids name in big black permamnent marker on EVERYTHING :)
Aslo! 4 in a box drumsticks = >:(
Jaime- YES, I LOVE the idea! I remember seeing it when my kids were still little and ITCHING to use the lists! But they’re the same ones the office sends home, so if I use those lists, I get a bunch of stuff that gets wasted and also have to come back to get more stuff.
Slim- I feel like whenever someone says “GIHoS,” there should be a reply of “GIHossssssssssssss!!”—like that thing, what’s that thing people say? “Hey-yo!,” but with the o extended (which if I write it out, looks like an “oo” sound instead of an “oh” sound).
Karen- You mean, ask for what I want from the people who have the power to give it to me? Pshaw! Crazy talk!
(Okay, maybe I will try that.)
My husband and I have “conversations” like that, too. Yours are funnier, somehow.
Nik-Nak- They do (er, not that I would know, ahem, okay fine I was there), and Target has them too—but they’re the same as the ones the office sends home. I do use them as general guidelines, but it’s so frustrating when I get there on the first day of school and the teacher says, “Oh, we don’t need any of that. But we DO need X, Y, and Z. By tomorrow.” (No. I am being unfair. The teacher never says by tomorrow.)
Brenna- YES. Last year we had lists that included wipes and hand gel and kleenex. And I’m happy to provide those, even repeatedly—but I can’t tell if I’m supposed to “PLEASE LABEL CLEARLY WITH YOUR CHILD’S NAME” like everything else on the list? or if I’m supposed to leave it blank, as I would for a classroom donation.
180 pencils. I love it.
We don’t even know who the teacher will be until the first day of school. This is to prohibit anyone from protesting, Methinks.
I always buy school supplies in triplicate and we USE THEM. They put the lists in the stores ’round here.
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you are a better woman than i ever enjoying summer. ugh. i remember when there were discussions about year-round school when i was in school (what ever happened with that?), and all the parents were for it, and i thought it was all about ME, that the parents all wanted their children to LEARN MORE or something. now i realize my naivete. totally not about LEARNING.
WHY DID WE HAVE SO MANY CHILDREN? and THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH CHAIRS IN THIS LIVING ROOM.
Bwahahahaaaaaa. Story of my life.
Our school use SchoolKidz as an option – the list for the next grade comes out in the spring and you have the option of ordering a box of supplies that will be sitting on the child’s desk on open house night. Prices seem pretty good – I was spending about $15 for first grade and about $25 for fourth grade supplies. The other thing I like is that we pay for them in March, not in the fall when we have lots of other back-to-school expenses. Everything comes in an awesome box with a handle that you can use for storage, plus some extra stuff – stickers with their names, fridge magnets. Best of all, I avoid the school supply aisle and the digging for a specific folder. My kids don’t love that they end up with plain folders, but tough!
Is it bad I labeled the baggies and wipes.. knowing full well they’d be classroom items… just to be passive aggressive I guess. Like, YES I AM ME AND I DONATED THERE TYVM
Also so far in K and 1 my daughter’s teachers asked for like 12 glue sticks, but we had to label them and we got the leftovers back at the end of the year.
I have no problem donating to the gen pop but I hate being “tricked” into it.
Chicken is not a childhood treat! I am going to laugh all day about this.
My favorite is when they SPECIFICALLY ask for things like the LARGE glue stick which costs 4 or 5 times the amount of the package of small ones, or the box of EIGHT crayons that costs a lot more than the box of 24, or some other type of thing that is way more expensive than and could easily be replaced with the one that is on sale for TEN CENTS.
CHICKEN IS NOT A CHILDHOOD TREAT! heeeeeheeheehee. TRUTH.
omg, that school list thing would drive me innnnnnsaaaaane. you are a better woman than i, because i think i would write a lot of passive aggressive notes or something. infuriating.
Doing My Best– YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! ME TOOOOOOOO!!!! That drives me BONKERS. And I never know if they mean “No, really, the 8-count crayon pack, that’s the one I specifically want them to have for specific reasons” (in which case I’d be happy to oblige) or whether they’re just “8-count will be fine, whatever” (in which case I’d rather pay 24 cents for the 24-pack than $1.29 for the 8-pack, kthanx!). It reminds me of college professors who sometimes said we should buy the $60 slim paperback textbook because it was ESSENTIAL to the course, and sometimes said we should buy the $60 slim paperback textbook because they got to say what we should buy, and they thought that was a pretty good one to leaf through, and they had NO IDEA it would cost more than about $7.99 for a little paperback.
jen (melty)– YES! If they SAID, “If you would be willing, we could really use extras of X, Y, and Z, for the kids who don’t/can’t bring them, I would have a lot of fun exceeding their expectations by sending EVEN MORE than that. But if they’re like, “Yeah, all the kids need 180 pencils each,” I feel like I’m getting played, and I resent it.
Can I be the weird one to say that chicken, while not frozen, could be a treat when fried and served cold? I guess for me it was because don’t the ice cream drumsticks on nuts on them? I HATE nuts.
The thing that makes me nuts about hte school supplies is putting the kids’ names on every individual color, pencil, pen, etc. when it doesn’t even make a difference. I think my son came home with something from every other kid in his class EXCEPT something that had his name on it.
We won’t get the names of the girls’ new teachers till the first day of school (5 Sept, all sales well and truly over) but we did get the list sent to us in early July (school finished on 1 July). Last year, we got this standard list but my elder daughter had a teacher new to the school so certain things weren’t right, but usually the list is good. Also, we don’t have to buy notebooks or paper or anything as the school supplies all of that and bills me once in September for that and text books, whatever.
I’m intrigued about the Drumsticks. Why? Well, because OF COURSE I’ve never heard of them… I shall Google them posthaste. One thought though: surely, if there are only 4 in a box the same size as one that provides you with 12 whatever elses, these Drumsticks must be pretty huge? I know that doesn’t solve the “5 kids” problem, but it might make them feel a little less expensive (if you have to eat 3 of the 25 cent whatevers to get the same satisfied fullness feeling, for example, the price is the same).
And now I fancy an icecream Snickers (which we don’t have, of course, and it’s 4.30 am).
Mmmmmmm
If I was feeling lazy and/or evil I would solve the 4 drumsticks 5 children problem thusly: make it a reward for some behavior (a good one) or a reward for lack of a behavior (a bad one) that you know at least one child will or will not do. Make sense? Technically they can all earn one, but you know it is highly likely that one or more will eff it up and not get the treat. You still look good because hey-you gave them the chance to earn it.
I just found out that while your conversations with Paul are funny when read silently, they’re hysterical when read aloud to a husband. With proper dramatic inflection, of course. We were both howling. So thanks for that. :)
— Mairzy
In our school system, you can just pay a fee and they’ll provide the supplies. Perhaps not the cheapest way, but the extra money is worth the removal of the frustration, for sure.
and I said “CHICKEN IS NOT A CHILDHOOD TREAT!”
^just made my day.
We get a list on the last day of school for next year’s grade. What I CAN. NOT. STAND is “all supplies will be community supplies.” Oh no, they will not. I will pick out the type of notebooks and folders I want my child to have and THAT IS WHAT HE WILL HAVE. Yes indeed, I will break the rules and label so that my child does not have crappy supplies while someone else has the ones that I bought. Tissues can be in the community supplies. Some people don’t care about school supplies. I do. The school can deal with it.
I find the school supply commentary so intriguing.
Our school does a list for each grade that (so far) seem to be pretty accurate no matter which teacher you get.
Showing up the first day of school and getting differing information would make me want to throw my hands up in despair.
I am in love with, “Chicken is not a childhood treat!” IN. LOVE. That’s probably going to be title of your book…