Ug, I had a Mental Turmoil Morning, waking around 3:00 to pee and then lying in bed suffering from weary mental churning. The dumb thing was, a lot of it was OTHER PEOPLE’S mental churning, a rehashing of stories I inadvertently tap into via stressy Facebook statuses and stressy Twitter posts—or, and this drives me a little bonkers, stressy RE-posts and RE-tweets. I like to keep up on the stresses and frets of people I know, but not with the endless endless crank-it-to-11 RE-tweeted fights and indignations of strangers. One re-tweet to spread awareness of the issue for people who would want to know what’s going on so they can get involved: SURE, of COURSE, I’m even GRATEFUL for that sometimes. But a constant re-tweet stream of EVERYTHING EVERYONE TWEETS ON THE TOPIC? No. NO.
I never know what to do in those situations when it’s chronic, do you? I don’t want to unfollow the re-tweeter, because I DO like THEM. But by following them, I’m also automatically following a bunch of other people I DON’T like and DON’T want to hear from, and/or hearing a ton about issues I don’t want to be involved with and/or have a strongly opposite opinion on but don’t want to argue/think about anymore. It’s a problem.
So anyway, that was one of the mental churning categories. Another is one of those pointless, can’t-do-anything-about-it ones, which is such a good use of sleep time. Our STUPID TOWN keeps voting for cuts in education expenses, and they toe the state line of Meeting Only the Absolute Minimum Requirements For Everything, which would already be annoying enough, except that this is the THIRD YEAR IN A ROW our school system has failed to pass state tests. But my GENIUS CO-RESIDENTS, most of whom are probably voting for education cuts on basis of “MY kids are already grown! Why should _I_ pay to educate other people’s kids?” (that’s right, I built that straw man right in front of you), keep voting every year for more cuts! because they don’t see the connection! possibly because they were educated in this school system! And what I would like to know is, WHY IS THE CUTTING-EXPENSES OPTION ON THE BALLOT?? “Would you like to pay MORE in tax money, or LESS? Your choice! Check box.”
*pant pant*
I also kept mentally working on a post I’m trying to do about how a nightmare about needing to run for our lives made me feel so so so lucky that we can just…live in our house and keep our things there, and go shopping for things we need without fighting off other looters, and not have to spend our entire day foraging for enough food to keep our kids alive, and not have to get in a knife fight to get an antibiotic. I don’t think the post is writeable, though. You know how you can get comfort by telling YOURSELF to be grateful that your life is so much better than if you had problems A, B, and/or C, but if someone ELSE tells that to you it’s just about the most pineholish move ever, assuming as it does that only the most miserable and worst-off person in the entire universe is allowed to complain (and even THEY should feel lucky they’re NOT DEAD)? So. That’s the trouble with the post: even though I’ve spent two days so far feeling wonderful feelings of relief that we have electricity and don’t have to reduce our belongings to what we can carry, it’s hard to tell YOU about it without sounding insufferably preachy and pineholey. PineHOLY, as it were.
We have a chronic re-tweeter and I think there’s a way in Twitter to follow a person’s original tweets but not follow their retweets. My husband has done this with our Re-Tweeter and I am about to…I’ll check and report back.
Yes, I did it and it was easy: click on the person in your following list, there’s a little retweet circle icon thing, click it “off”. When you hover it says “retweets will appear/not appear in your stream”
Thanks for the tip, Jess! One of the reasons I keep drifting away from Twitter is all the retweets… sometimes it seems like that’s most of my feed, and while occasionally they’re interesting usually I just want to follow the people I wanted to follow.
Swistle: I’m glad you mentioned the dream/post, even if you’re not going to write it up. I like to play the “Wow, my life is awesome compared to what it could be!” game, and that particular scenario is timely given that I’m currently packing for a move I resent having to make.
Oh, JESS. You may have SAVED ME.
The education cuts thing would drive me MAD. I don’t even have kids, but MAN. You’re right – there shouldn’t be an option for cutting expenses on the ballot at all.
Sounds like a horrible nightmare. I guess it’s good it left you with all these feelings of gratitude… but possibly preferable to just erase the nightmare from memory completely.
All the things you mention are difficult in and of themselves, and made worse by insufficient sleep.
Request: I would love to read more about your summers as a child. Your mom’s “regimen” idea was fascinating to me, and it had a hint of Anne of Green Gableseque type details.
Hope this doesn’t sound stalk-y!
I did not know that and have actually un-followed people because of re-tweets! Now I can follow them again!
Pineholier than thou?
My oldest kid loves Hunger Games/City of Emberish post-apocalyptic novels, and he wants me to read them too, and I feel all grateful and then guilty because there are people in the world for whom that is more or less reality and WHAT AM I DOING ABOUT IT?
What do the people who vote against money for education imagine when they look ahead and imagine the medical care and the engineering and whatnot being provided by people with mediocre educations? And are these the same people who wring their hands every time the US shows out in international academic ratings?
Perhaps you need a break from all the social media stuff? So you can cleanse your brain a bit… ;.) I deleted my Twitter account years ago in an effort to not have to keep up with it and so many random thoughts (I need a filter).I don’t have texting on my phone so it was hard for me to send out my random thoughts anyway. I don’t think I need to pollute other people’s eyes with all of MY thoughts. AND if you want to know my random thoughts, I still put them out there on my blog.
I AM very entertained by some people’s tweets (@Sundry) so I do read them her also entertaining blog. On FB I have to hide some friend’s because they are so high maintenance (some ask for prayers every day for every thing and it’s a little annoying!). We all have our crosses to bear. I’m not insensitive, but I ascribe to ‘tough love’ more often than not. I don’t like it when people flick their shit on me (via social media or otherwise). That is the main reason we don’t have texting on our phones, too easy for sometone to flick shit….they are always welcome to call though…
I don’t think you are pineholey at all. You are one of the really real bloggers that I know (of). You don’t sound preachy, you are human. Happy Monday and hope tonight is better for your sleep (or that you get a refreshing nap in). 3am is the unholy hour and I HATE to be awake at that time. Nothing good can happen at that time, right?
I have had to un-follow some chronic RT-ers. It’s just too much. I follow them b/c I like what they have to say. It sucks, but I only have so much time!
Also, and Isay this all the time, but I’ve had to block the Facebook friends who constantly post cryptic messages that make me worry about their well-being. If you’re not going to just tell me what’s going on, please don’t make me worry!
What I want to know is, why is it EDUCATION that always appears on the local ballot? I mean, tax money is spent on SO MANY THINGS, and yet there’s not a box to check for all of THOSE things, but education? Why yes, it IS a good idea to let the town population decide if we should educate our kids or not.
You know of our personal struggles in Tiny Town with this very issue, and it gets me EVERY TIME.
Oh, Swistle, I love you so. :)
A big YESSSS to Marie Green’s comment. (Would you like police service? Check yes or no. How about fire & rescue. Don’t you think they’re overpaid? What about potholes? Sure, they’re annoying, but do you really want to pay to fix them?) (Only, I think our area actually does this sometimes, and guess what? It turns out that people don’t want to pay for this stuff, either. Oh, they want it. They just think *they* shouldn’t be the ones to pay for it–and the ones who should pay? The public servants, of course, by cutting any and all pensions, benefits, raises, etc. ARG. I can go from 0 to PISSED OFF on this subject in ten seconds flat, so I’d better stop.)
You know what I have dreams about that I wake from sooo relieved? And without the added pressure of feeling guilty? I sometimes dream that my husband has been elected to high office, like the presidency, say, putting me suddenly in the spotlight in all my frumpy (I like to call it “no-nonsense”) glory. GOD. NIGHTMARE. From which it is totally possible to awake, because luckily my spouse has no intention at all of running for public office.
Ugh I had a similar 3:00 am go around this morning about things I can do nothing about at that hour of the night. I hate it when my brain gets going like that.
I also hate the education thing. The state I live in has the second shortest school year in the country and yet they still fail to pass sufficient funding measures and keep talking about making the year even shorter. WTH?! Sooner or later we are probably going to have to consider private school and I have no idea how we’d pay for it (or how I will convince my devoutly atheist husband that Catholic school might be the lesser of two evils). Just thinking about it now is getting me riled up. Must go look at photos of cats or something to calm down. ARGH.
I’m glad you’re concerned about funding cuts to education. I come from a very pro-education family; however, it was a co-worker at my very first job out of college who helped me articulate my opinion on education funding.
He said, “these people who oppose paying taxes to fund education should try living in a society where the children AREN’T educated.”
Indeed.
The thing that most scares me is that the generation that is currently in school will be the decision-makers in healthcare, law, business, etc. when we are elderly. I, for one, would like to ensure that the doctors managing my geriatric case are WELL EDUCATED!
i have had to unfollow blogs and tweeters that brought a lot of pointless drama into my vision but it was never someone that i actually liked all that much. it’s def a problem. twitter should have a HUSH button where you can just turn someone off for a little bit. I wouldn’t want to turn off all retweets, sometimes they are good!
for the middle of the night thing… i keep my iphone under my pillow OR i keep a head lamp (i have one with a red light so it isn’t too bright) and a small book under my pillow and if i wake up at night and my brain starts doing that thing where it wont shut up i can start reading something fluffy and pointless. georgette heyer or some vampire book. This works like a charm an i can be back to sleep in like 30 minutes or less.
I love to read stories about the Black Death because it makes me feel SO GOOD about my life, no matter WHAT is going on. Civilization! Family! No buboes!
Kristina- YES, me too! I “hide” them, so we’re still friends but I don’t have to see their “Feel like I want to die” statuses (followed by ten friends saying “What’s going on??” and “Are you okay??” and no answer, then finally a “Just something at work I can’t talk about…”).
Marie Green- EXACTLY!! “Should we cut the road-fixing budget Y/N?” NO. JUST education. And approvals for spending MORE on things like a fire truck or something—but for the education budget it’s “Do we give them what they say they need? or do we cut it by, say, $100,000?”
Nolita- I find I sometimes have to take breaks from it or, like, just read my at-replies but not try to keep up with the Twitter stream. I hate feeling left out, though, so I always end up going back to it.
Minnie- OOoooo, good idea! Like, if I click a button, it mutes that person for 12 hours—that’s usually long enough for a particular drama to blow over.
The “I’m so lucky because I realize just how many horrible things could happen to me that haven’t” kind of posts/comments don’t usually bother me. Some of them DO get kind of preachy, but for the most part they make me think, “Yeah, me, too. My life is actually pretty awesome, so maybe I don’t need to be sad about this one little thing.”
As far as I’m concerned, “It could be worse…” doesn’t mean that nothing is every allowed to bother me or that I can’t complain, just that with a little perspective, I might feel like my life is awful a little less often.
The education cuts would send me into an emotional and intellectual TAILSPIN. Do not even get me STARTED about people voting to cut school-related expenses. OMFG.
Also, I am pretty much certain that you could not be pineholy even if you TRIED (and you wouldn’t!). I know what you are saying, but I would also like to read the post about your dream. I, for one, have been having hugely stressful dreams in which I do something HORRIBLE and then have to deal with the DREAD of consequences, and oh it is such a relief to wake up in the morning and realize that I only have minor, manageable problems and am not being accused of a heinous crime.
“and not have to get in a knife fight to get an antibiotic.” Dying laughing here. Also, so get what you mean. I am currently reading The Bourne Identity because I wanted something fun and easy on my brain, and I keep thinking to myself “Man, I’m glad I know who I am! And don’t have people constantly trying to kill me for unknown reasons!”
It’s nice, especially on a weekend when my infant cracks her skull and all hell generally breaks loose.
PineHOLY…love it! While I am not on Twitter, I hear you about the stresses caused by that and FB. I completely blocked my niece’s husband (they are separated) because I was having massive anxiety b/c of what he was posting. Recently, I was looking at something while hubby was signed on to FB and checked the wall of above mentioned niece’s estranged husband and was immediately in a tizzy…so it’s good I blocked him altogether. I also have a 19 yr old nephew who I didn’t block off totally but I did block his feed so I don’t see it unless I purposely go to his wall. Effective compromise. It’s amazing how something that doesn’t even directly involve me can stress me out completely. The same for people who post links to “what’s wrong with our food/tv/water supply/air/everything” I don’t even look at them anymore b/c much of the information is suspect and this one particular friend is a bit too alarmist for me. Pennsylvania is suffering in the education dept too and I am wondering why so many people have their head up their a$$ and want to cut education down to crap.
I was waking frequently last night and then having to sit in the bathroom for ten minutes and then back to bed to try and go back to sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat. So at one point I started imagining what it would be like to be a “famous” blogger. I think it was the viral Bloggess post that got me wondering. Anyway, I was like, OMg’s that would SUCK!! I would never be able to come up with enough content! I have a bit of a rebellion issue and can’t do something if someone wants me to do it EVEN IF IT’S SOMETHING I WANT TO DO. It’s ridiculous. In college I took a class on the works of CS Lewis and did all the reading for the class the following summer.
Anyway, I woke up today grateful that I am not famous, not even blog-famous!
This post alone makes me anxious dude
RE: PineHOLY:
Wow, did I discover that the hard way on FB!! I was reading that latest Margaret Atwood post-apocalyptic nightmare book, and I wrote that as my status saying, “Things could be worse, people!”
Really I just meant I’m so glad I’m not one of two people alive being hunted by creepy, genetically altered farm animals gone feral.
But some people took it as a PERSONAL ATTACK, and I ended up having to delete it.
Anyway. I too am glad I don’t have to knife anyone to get an antibiotic for my kid.