I dreamed last night that a VERY CUTE boy was interested in me. Unfortunately, when my dream mind discovered that the boy was 18, it did not do what _I_ would have done in ITS shoes, which would have been to assume _I_ was also 18. No. Instead my dream mind said to me: “Hey. Hey, wait. *counting on fingers* Aren’t you nearly TWENTY YEARS older than that? I don’t think this is AT ALL appropriate. Not at ALL. Seriously. Ick. And…wait. Aren’t you also MARRIED? We need to stop this right here.” Then my dream mind went and fetched Paul and had him take away my glass of champagne and make a pointed remark about my “boyfriend“—with heavy quotes, just like that, and not a very pleasant tone of voice, either.
Thanks a lot, dream mind. This reminds me of once when I was on a diet and I dreamed that I was very tempted by a bunch of candy but didn’t eat it. Come on, now, that is TOO STRICT.
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I recently gave up on a book after 220 pages, which I think may be unprecedented for me. Despite being very familiar with the concept of sunk costs (that is, that the amount of time I’ve spent reading the book is irrelevant to the decision about whether to KEEP reading it, since I can’t get that time back either way), I have trouble putting it into practice. And besides, with a book, it MIGHT pay off to continue reading it. Though, admittedly, probably this is more true at 50 pages than at 220.
It was bugging me because there was a ton of foreshadowing to keep the suspense going, but then the foreshadowed events were never as big a deal as they’d seemed like they’d be. Plus, most of it was made up. Which is to be expected of fiction, of course, but in this case the narrator was also making up a story: imagining what things were like for his parents before he was born, when he hadn’t been told those stories. So then I felt like I was reading fiction about fiction: the story wasn’t even true within the covers of the book.
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But then I read a book I liked very much: You Know When the Men are Gone, by Siobhan Fallon (photo from Amazon.com).
It is a TEENSY bit “you civilian wives have no idea how good you’ve got it,” and I’m not sure anyone can make that kind of statement about anything (parenting, working, location, relationships, lifestyle choices/non-choices of any sort) without it being kind of annoying. And since NO ONE experiences ALL life circumstances, it’s also kind of a duh thing to bring up: we ALL live a way that only other people who live the same way would understand, and ALL those ways include some things that would be considered disadvantages—and other things that would be considered advantages. If the book had instead JUST told the stories, without adding the little preachies about how much better things are for civilians, I would have received the message ANYWAY, but without feeling prickly about it.
Another problem is that it’s short stories, which I hadn’t realized when I checked it out of the library. And while I partly love short stories, I also partly hate them: they leave me stranded just when I’ve gotten fully invested in the situation. But these particular stories overlap each other a little, which I LOVE, so. Still, there are a couple where I thought, “No. You can’t just leave it without any sort of ending and and call it done.”
Boy, it sounds like I DIDN’T like this book, doesn’t it? But I DID. I liked it in an “I NEED TO SEE WHAT ELSE THIS AUTHOR HAS WRITTEN” way. (Nothing, sadly.) It is just, when I like a book, I don’t want to talk it up too much because then you’re BOUND to be disappointed, and also I want to make sure I mention the things I DIDN’T like so that when you read it you don’t say “She liked THIS?”
I have gotten ticked at my dream self several times for not making more adventurous choices. I mean, IT’S A DREAM, SELF. Go ahead and be bad! There are no consequences!
My dream-self rarely checks me, which you’d think would be a good thing but actually often involves me waking up feeling guilty and/or sheepish, despite the dream only being between my subconscious & me.
You MUST tell us the book you didn’t finish. Please.
have you read “I Was Told There’d Be Cake” by Sloane Crosley? Short stories, but memoir. I read it in one day while at the hospital with a kid and it made the time pass quicker. I really enjoyed it.
Clarabella- I don’t like to, because I’m afraid the author will search for himself and then have his feelings hurt /slash/ be mad! And with this particular book, I felt like the author worked SO HARD on it, and other reviewers LOVED the way we couldn’t tell what was true and what wasn’t. But I will say it in what I hope will be non-searchable: ooHowoo ooTooo ooReadoo ooTheoo ooAiroo by ooDinawoo ooMengestuoo.
I LOVED YOU KNOW WHEN THE MEN ARE GONE. Found it totally affecting and sob-worthy. I’m excited for her next book…
Jen- Ooo, that sounds good! I just put it on my library request form!
The Curmudgeon- YES! I CRIED! And were you DYING, as I was, to know what happened at the ends of a couple of the stories? The hiding in the basement one? The mother of twins one?
I’m about 50 pages from the end of one of those “sunk costs” books – the whole way through, I’ve been telling my husband “I’m not loving this book” and then I keep reading it because I usually love the author, and then I’ve already invested so much time into the book, and surely it’ll get better Any Minute Now, plus it’s my bedside book, and by the time I pick up up, remember that I’m not loving it, I’m also not about to go downstairs and find something else to START at THIS HOUR because surely it’ll get better soon, and I usually really enjoy that author. But still. . . I’m not loving it. (But I’m almost done with it.)
Also, I did not finish the Sloan Crosby book – it was “OK” but I didn’t love it. (It was my dog-walking book-on-mp3 – much easier to switch to something else because it’s right there on the ipod.)
I used to finish every book I started, which could be painful sometimes. Finally I wised up and did the “life is too short to read what you don’t enjoy” thing, now I have no problem stopping. I give it 3 chapters, and if I am not engaged, back to the library or to the used book store it goes.
Swistle-it seems like your commenters are a well read lot-would you ever do a post of your 3 favorite books, and then have the commenters give theirs? I am always on the lookout for new material.
Maureen- Ooo, neat idea! Maybe so!
I have a really really hard time not finishing books even if I’m hating them, but every once in a while I ditch one and feel giddy with liberation. I love genre short stories, but literary ones can be dicey – I generally like ones that overlap a little too. And I agree that avoiding closure is sometimes okay and sometimes you get the feeling they just bailed because it was too hard to craft a real, satisfying conclusion. I love that you’re afraid of hurting the author’s feelings – I feel the same way (although occasionally I’m cranky enough to get over it).
My sub-conscious is always checking my dreams. It’s really irritating to have reality intrude into an otherwise good fantasy dream. Go away reality! Sheesh.
I also tend not to like short stories – just as I get into them, they are over. Bummer.
Once, I was reading Tess of the d’Urbervilles, and I stopped just a few pages from the end, because I Just Didn’t Care. Tess could have been dismembered by a (newly introduced) serial killer in those last few pages and packed into a lunchbox and I wouldn’t have given a flying toot at a rolling doughnut. Life’s too short.
I just read another review of You Know When the Men Are Gone that sounded just like yours! Disadvantage, problem, problem, and I LOVED IT! Funny.
I generally don’t like short stories because I cannot ever remember them, whereas there is a greater likelihood I will remember an actual 220-page novel because of its length (and the fact it took me 6 months or whatever to get through it.)
I didn’t like that book either, but I didn’t give it 220 pages. You are a better person than I, Swistle. I also like the 3 fave books idea Maureen mentioned! (Or you could do what Everyday Reading does and have a “tell me what to read” post–I loooove those.)
I always like Siobhan Fallon as an actress. I didn’t realize she was a writer too. I’ll have to check that out. I just finished reading Death Match after your recommendation and LOVED it.
HA! Oops just looked it up and it is a different Siobhan Fallon.
The part about your dream mind is so funny! My dream mind lets me do whatever I want and I sometimes wake up feeling really guilty!!
That is a truly tragic way to end what could have been an excellent, married-sex-fueling dream. I have a friend whose husband gets mad when she has dreams about other men. That’s like getting mad that someone is blinking into the wind. Sure, it’s probably technically possible to avoid it, but why would you want to? Blinking and sex dreams: refreshing.
Also, I love that you say “a cute boy.” I just turned 33 and I do the same thing, even when said subject is also in his thirties.
Something about this makes me wonder if you’ve ever read One Hundred Years of Solitude and what you thought of that?
Maybe you can let me know if you get a chance!
I agree that you shouldn’t stick with a book you aren’t enjoying at all. BUT it used to drive me crazy when junior high kids would read one or two PAGES and decide a book wasn’t for them… Especially since lots of YA fiction, even the good stuff, can be slowish at the beginning as things are set up.
I just finished “You Know When the Men Are Gone” – I bought it right after I read your review. I loved it. My husband is “gone” right now (to war) and a lot of it rang so true to me. The thing about being a military spouse is that sometimes you ache to know that there are people “out there” who understand/appreciate what you’re going through. Ultimately, my husband and our family (my two little girls!) are making enormous sacrifices for the greater good of our country…I just sometimes feel like the reality of our situations isn’t understood. I am going to order a copy of the book for a couple of family members and friends. I would have never known about it if you hadn’t mentioned it. THANKS!