Party Stats, Knee Socks for the Plump of Calf, Yellow to White

THE PARTY IS OVER. It is done! Everything was fine! Although I am still STEEPING IN EMPATHY for a boy who was still there when everyone else had been picked up, saying to me, “I’m sorry” and “You can just go and I can wait here.” *HEART CLENCH* This made me wish SO PROFOUNDLY for the knack of putting people at their ease in awkward situations. I TRIED, but he was still unhappy and embarrassed. I would have used that skill on his mother, too, when she arrived saying “I’M SO SORRY. I’M SO EMBARRASSED” (she hadn’t changed her watch for the time change).

For statistical use: we sent out ten invitations; we got five RSVPs, all yes; we got a sixth RSVP-yes the night before, apologizing for forgetfulness and asking if it was still okay and saying she totally understood if it wasn’t (full mercy awarded); we also had one where we didn’t get an RSVP but it was William’s best friend and she told him yes verbally, and it would have been such a colossal disaster if she COULDN’T come we would have expected an enormous kerfuff in that case, so anyway we felt confident she’d be there.

The three who didn’t RSVP didn’t come to the party. Of the four possible RSVP screw ups (RSVP yes but don’t show, RSVP no but show up; no RSVP but show; no RSVP but no show), that one is the easiest to let slide—but GEEZ I wish they’d have RSVP’d a “no,” because then we could have invited other kids to take those slots (the party package allowed 15 children maximum, and was still the same total price even if there were fewer children), because there were several that William had a very hard time deciding among. (William decided to invite all his siblings, so that’s the other four, plus William himself counts as one, if you’re doing the math.) I wish I could have come up with a good way of spelling out the “please tell us if you can’t come so we can invite a second-stringer” thing on the invitations. Well. Anyway. It’s OVER, and that’s the important thing.

Cake statistics: William wanted chocolate cake with vanilla frosting, so I made one 9×13 chocolate cake with vanilla frosting and one 9×13 yellow cake with vanilla frosting. Of 12 party guests, 10 wanted the yellow cake. THIS BLEW MY MIND.

You know what is working pretty well? “You can’t play with your presents until you’ve written your thank-you notes.”

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If you are both FULL and TALL (particularly FULL) of calf, but you want to wear knee socks, I recommend the “over the knee” style. Target has some at 75% off right now, and I bought some to wear under my air cast. The over-the-knee kind go right up to just under my knee, the way regular knee socks are supposed to. However, may I advise against the argyle? It seems the argyle is knit to look correct only on the unfilled sock; it would warp even on a narrow calf, but on my own calf there is comical warpage. Stripes! Stripes are good! And the diamond pattern (non-argyle, just teal/white/navy diamonds) works okay too.

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You are wondering how we went from intense yellow to white paint for our room. It was something like this:

Step 1: Swistle dithers for hours over various shades of blue, green, yellow, etc.

Step 2: Paul says he wants bright yellow.

Step 3: Swistle dithers for hours over various shades of bright yellow, feeling anxious about how yellow will go with the quilt, and also feeling anxious about how yellow allegedly causes anxiety and depression.

Step 4: Paul sighs discontentedly when shown Swistle’s preferred bright yellows, and says he wants the ones Swistle can’t tolerate. Then he says the most important thing is that SWISTLE chooses what SHE wants. But SHE was trying to choose among what HE wanted, and he still wasn’t pleased.

Step 5: Swistle goes into paint-color-choosing shock.

Step 6: Paul says he’s buying the paint on the way home from work the next day, and Swistle needs to tell him what to buy. Swistle declines to reply.

Step 7: Paul emails from work: he’s bringing home a paint color, and if Swistle doesn’t tell him which one he will close his eyes and choose one at random.

Step 8: Swistle emails back: “White. The same Sea Salt I felt the paint clerk showed insufficient enthusiasm for when I chose it for the dining room.”

Step 9: Paul emails back that this makes no sense and that Swistle should choose what SHE WANTS. What was that bright yellow she liked, again?

Step 10: Swistle emails back that yellow was what PAUL wanted, and that the ideal color with the quilt is a shade of Swistle Blue, but Swistle now associates that color with Swistleness and doesn’t want it in the bedroom, and also she likes green but there are no greens she wants, and also WHITE IS WHAT SHE WANTED TO BEGIN WITH, OH CAN’T WE GET WHITE? It will look right with the quilt AND with the pictures, AND will still look good if we change to a different quilt!

Step 11: Paul comes home with a gallon of Sea Salt and paints the bedroom with it. It’s great. Paul takes out the old icky carpet and Swistle makes the children wash the floor.

Step 12: This is not part of the paint-choosing process, but anyway we move our bed into that room and sleep there for the first time last night, and Swistle lies awake thinking THIS HAS ALL BEEN A TERRIBLE MISTAKE and she wants her old room back because THIS IS ALL WRONG and SHE HATES EVERYTHING.

Step 13: Swistle takes a sleeping pill and feels better in the morning, especially when it turns out we get morning light in our new room, which we didn’t get in our old room.

27 thoughts on “Party Stats, Knee Socks for the Plump of Calf, Yellow to White

  1. Party of 5

    My oldest is 6 and is just now having to write more than just her name on a thank you and I’m totally stealing the “you can’t play with your gifts until the than yous are written.” Thank you for that.

    Reply
  2. Elizabelle

    Glad to hear the party went well; I was hoping for a good report! I think you’ll be glad you chose Sea Salt. You can put whatever you want on the walls, art-wise.

    Reply
  3. clueless but hopeful mama

    Yep, I’m stealing the “you can’t play with your gifts until you write the thank you notes for it”, too. BRILLIANT.

    Look at those glorious hardwood floors! (and the children working hard at cleaning them! LOVE IT.)

    Reply
  4. Marie Green

    WHEW about the party!! I’m glad that it went well and that it’s over.

    Also, did you have actual carpet on that floor, or more like a rug? I mean, was it attached on the edges? I have hardwood under ALL of my carpeted rooms (about 1/2 of our rooms), but our carpet is the “installed” kind, so I’m wondering how awful it is to take it up.

    Reply
  5. Halyn

    StephLove–that was the very same thought I had! Poor SwistleKids! All we need to complete the pic is Swistle in rolled stockings, curlers in her hair,brandishing a bottle of cheap gin.

    And I second the motion that this photo be used as your next Christmas card.

    Reply
  6. Naomi

    “and that the ideal color with the quilt is a shade of Swistle Blue, but Swistle now associates that color with Swistleness and doesn’t want it in the bedroom” LOL!

    Sea Salt looks very clean and crisp and airy with the hard wood floors. I like.

    Glad to hear William’s party went well!! Very adorable that when given a choice, he chose to have all his siblings there. Yay William!!

    Reply
  7. Heather R

    My 4 year old started asking to clean our floors a couple of days ago. I have non-toxic cleaners, so I was like, “Sure!!” She looked just like your kids in the picture. I like the white too…I wouldn’t have thought to pick it, but it looks good, especially since you have stained wood trim. My trim is all white, so that wouldn’t work for me.

    Reply
  8. Misty

    White really is so versatile. Now you can do ANYTHING and it will match the paint. Want a neon orange throw rug? Have at it. Decide that turquoise is more your speed? Commence forthwith.

    Good call.

    Reply
  9. Brigid Keely

    RE: socks–

    If you want socks that last longer than Target socks, or they stretch enough to fit your mighty calves, try Sock Dreams ( http://www.sockdreams.com/_pages/index.php ). They have a great selection, and a lot of their sock descriptions include measurements AND photos of the socks worn by people with different sized legs. If you’re not sure if a sock will fit, you can email and ask (it helps to have measurements of your legs) and they’re super great about responding.

    I really like bright, fun socks but I’ve banned myself from buying more Target socks because they are not high quality (what do you expect for the price?) and NONE of their knee high or OTK fit my fat legs. There ARE Sock Dreams OTKs that do fit, so I’m saving up for “real” socks from them, which will be cheaper in the long run because they don’t need to be replaced as quickly.

    BTW, thank you for the “party when you’re 10” idea. We have a 2 year old, and I brought that idea up with my husband, and we both like the idea of only doing one big hosted party instead of one every year.

    Reply
  10. Anonymous

    I have a question: I have three kids — the oldest 14 — and I have never, ever sent out a second round of invitations based on responses to the first, primarily because I’ve always assumed that it’s hard to keep the fact that a kid is a runner-up invite a secret if you’re drawing invitees from a common pool (e.g., a classroom of kids.) Am I bananas?

    Reply
  11. Frondly

    Yay! Time for you to have your own Post Party party!

    This photo is hilarious.

    Also, I’m glad you went with the Sea Salt. I had pictured more like a butter yellow or pale lemon and didn’t love either of the yellows in the last post. Sea Salt=waaaaay better! Plus, as everyone has said: versatile!

    Reply
  12. Swistle

    Marie Green- It was just a big piece of carpet. When we moved in, there was wall-to-wall in the living room and hall, and it was messy to take up. We had it done by the same guys who refinished the floors, but they had to first take up the carpet, then scrape off a layer of padding that had welded itself to the wood, then the floors looked terrible underneath and needed refinishing. BUT—those were 1960s carpets, so maybe more modern carpets just kind of PEEL UP!

    Reply
  13. Swistle

    Anonymous- I would need more info before confirming a diagnosis of bananas. We’d also need to collect data from people who’ve thrown more parties than I have: this is only my third, and both previous times everyone RSVP’d yes, so I’ve never actually DONE a second-string set of invitations. But IN THEORY, the first set is supposed to be secret from the non-invited kids, so it should work fine. IN THEORY.

    Reply
  14. Saly

    Oh my kids can join yours in their hard knock life…I made them dust the woodwork and wipe down the kitchen cupboards this weekend. If your kids are anything like mine though, they find this kind of work to be great fun, no?

    Reply
  15. Maggie

    StephLove – ha HA!

    It wasn’t until I moved to the NW that I ever encountered problems with the RSVP process. My husband who grew up here told me that some people seem to think RSVP means “Regrets Only” which makes me irritated because if I’d meant regrets only, I’d have said regrets only. Sigh. ANYWAY, glad it worked out.

    Anonymous – we did a “second string” invite once when my son was younger and we were having the party somewhere that strictly limited numbers. It wasn’t a big deal, but I think he was only about 6 and kids at that age don’t seem to care. As he gets older we haven’t faced the issue again.

    Reply
  16. lifeofadoctorswife

    Oh that poor kid!! I was that kid several times growing up and it always felt So Awful, no matter how kind or upbeat the person whose home I was lingering in.

    I love the white. And I love the photo of your children cleaning it. They look very… involved. And focused.

    Reply
  17. St

    White’s not bad, leaves you open for lots of other possibilities. Your floors are gorgeous by the way!
    And yes, like everyone else I’m totally stealing that “can’t play with presents until thank yous are done” that was a stroke of genius!

    Reply
  18. Kelsey

    Glad the party was a success!

    I’m still stuck on the idea that yellow breeds anxiety and depression – am I missing sarcasm here? Is that true? That would be hilarious as the interior walls of my elementary school were almost all yellow! What were they trying to do to us?

    Reply

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