Fortunately it is not the least bit awkward to go through a checkout line with a 3-year-old, and buy whole-wheat bread, low-fat milk, Play-Doh, Elmer’s glue, and 3 bottles of wine and a box of condoms, and then find out the cashier is a friend of your mother. Not the LEAST BIT.
Hahaha! Sounds kinda like going thru the checkout at Target with 3 arguing and annoying children with a pregnancy test among your items.
At least you didn’t have flavoured personal lubricant.
“Oh hi! Just picking up the essentials!” :)
I was a cashier at a grocery store in high school, and even though I always ACTED nonchalant when people bought condoms, I was really thinking to myself, “KINKAY!! Gonna GET SOME, you are, tonight!!”
But that was probably because I was 17. Probably.
Oh, hahahahahaha!
(I’d write more, but I’m paranoid some friend of my mother’s reads your blog, or something.)
hahahaha!
(OMG–my word verification is “mating.” SERIOUSLY?????)
hahahahaha!
Heehee. Yep. I hate to admit it, but when I was a cashier, I pretty much always looked at people’s purchased and made guesses about their lives. ;-) Of course, that was TOTALLY because being a cashier is not exactly a stimulating job, and not because I’m just generally nosy!
-Dr. Liz (and not Fiona the dog who hasn’t worked a day in her life)
HAHAHAHAHA! Last year, I took my four year old to Safeway and was getting a few things plus condoms. I was taking my time trying to remember which ones I liked best– spermicide or no? when this old guy started to chat with my daughter and myself. I sort of smiled and chatted back until his wife came to rescue me. She was like “Herman Get. Over. Here.”
She and I were very embarrassed.
I went to the grocery store once and bought olive oil, a cucumber, and rubber gloves. It didn’t occur to me until later that it was an extremely odd combination.
I once bought vagisil, yeast infection medicine, preparation H, and pads. I felt super fun and awesome. I made sure I didn’t know any of the cashiers, you can’t have a student ring up that stuff for you.
Awesome!
Whenever I buy pregnancy tests, I run into this same kind of problem. And honestly, often if I’m buying a test, I’m a little unsure of the outcome and certainly don’t want someone in this (VERY SMALL) town jumping to conclusions about the state of my uterus.
And the people I run into? Are like, some elderly man from church, wanting to chat it up a little, while I’m standing there holding… ONLY a box of pg tests. AWKWARD.
The good news…you didn’t die of embarrassment! Maybe this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t tattled on me on Anne’s blog. You know, kharma and all. Ha ha ha!
This is why Al Gore invented the internet. I buy 100 at a time on Amazon for way cheaper than in the store. Most listings have guaranteed expiration dates, so you know that they won’t all expire in 3 months.
Wow, now I kinda feel like maybe I shouldn’t have admitted all that… oh well.
P.S. I buy pg tests online, too!
I’m so sorry… that is completely hysterical.
Oh Dear. I’m sorry. Thanks for the entertainment, though.
Colleen (Redhead Colleen)- Ha ha ha! And that is what I’m always telling the kids, too: that tattling will come back to bite them in the butt!
BAH HA HA HA!!!!!
Happened to me once when I was buying a pregnancy test (for what turned out to not be a pregnancy at all). Except it was a fellow mom and president of the PTA at my kid’s school. Joy.
It would have been worse with one bottle of wine and three boxes of condoms…just saying.
And along the lines of Maria’s comment, it can be kind of fun to think of crazy combinations of things that would freak checkers out.
I also live in a small town, so I always buy items of a sensitive nature ONLINE. How I love Amazon!
at least they know you’re responsible?
I tried..
A cousin’s wife worked the Express Lane (8 items or less) and the best combination she ever rang up consisted of just two things: Ex-Lax and a bucket.
I am crying with laughter at some of these comments! Great topic! I especially love the cucumber one and the one who said her word verification was “mating”…..hilarious!!!
“I’m in charge of Mom’s stocking this year!”
I always pretend I’m buying my embarrassing things for someone else. Even if the cashier is a stranger and doesn’t seem to be paying attention I’m concentrating on sending them a silent message: “that tube of monistat is for my roommate, not me.”