Yesterday morning in the shower I noticed the fronts of my thighs just above the knees were blue-greyish. Then I noticed there were blue-greyish patches along my hips. I mean, you’d assume a Terrible Diagnosis, wouldn’t you? Because I did. Something grim about circulation, I assumed. I’d been lying on my stomach while I slept, and didn’t I read something in a suspense novel about blood…pooling? in a corpse? I was planning to finally call my doctor for a check-up. Which indeed I should do, just for general health, but later in the day I realized the blue-grey tint was from my new jeans. I’d washed them before wearing them, but they ARE a very dark wash. Dark enough to color the handkerchief I keep in the pocket, which is how I figured it out.
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I am opposed to camouflage stuff for children. Because I’m opposed to thinking about children being in wars. I know. I KNOW. But that’s how it is: I see camouflage for children and I picture my babies in the woods with guns and NO NO NO.
And that it why it was 11.75 years before I bought anything camouflage for a child of mine, and it’s because Rob MUST have rainboots for his 6th-grade camping trip, and there were NO rainboots in big-kid sizes ANYWHERE, and then I found them FINALLY at Target, and the two choices were (1) camouflage or (2) black with skulls. I paid full-price, for something camouflage, for a child. Note it.
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I gave blood this past week. I even made an APPOINTMENT, and still waited over an hour to start the donation process. That is…discouraging, I must say. I read the entire People magazine I brought with me, and the section of newspaper I found, and then I sat there feeling anxious about how close I was to the people sitting in the chairs next to me. I don’t know if I can be discouraged altogether, like so that I would STOP donating blood, but if I MAKE AN APPOINTMENT? Doesn’t it seem like? And I asked about it, and she said it was always that busy. Well, then…I mean, if I might make a suggestion: preparing for that many people? As opposed to a longer wait-time for people who are already volunteering THE BLOOD FROM INSIDE THEIR BODIES? I don’t begrudge it, I’m GLAD to give it, I even get a nice little high from it, but if I have a 5:00 appointment I’d like to…have a 5:00 appointment. Or, like, 5:30 at worst. Not 6:10 for STARTING the part where you answer questions about whether you’ve been to Europe or dated hookers. I had to pee SO BAD by then, because I’d been so diligent about drinking extra water beforehand as instructed.
But, all that time sitting there waiting, I came up with a new idea for what I might want to do for a job once Henry is in school. Phlebotomist? I need something with a short training time.
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I dreamed last night that I cut my own hair and was very happy about it. It’s so long now, I can’t wear it in my preferred French twist but have to bun it. And it gets tangled and it hurts to comb it, and Paul hasn’t given it the attention I’d expect a guy to give long hair, so I thought I WOULD cut it: I’ve cut it myself once before, and it DID turn out fine. And then THIS MORNING Paul said admiringly, “Your hair is so shiny and multicolored!” And I said, “I’m going to cut it” and he said “Don’t change ANYTHING!”
The way you feel about camouflage is how I feel about pirates. Why would I dress my sons up as pirates? They were terrorists and thieves. They were not off on a jolly holiday all the time. I don’t make a big deal out of it, but I avoid it. At least “pirate” is easier to spell than “camouflage.”
Your dire circulation problem — HAHA!
I’ve never met another mom who felt like I do about camouflage! Like Mairzy, I don’t make a big deal of it, but I just cannot bring myself to buy anything with camouflage for my kids (or myself or the hubby for that matter). I was raised to believe in non-violence and I just can’t get over the association with violence and war that camouflage represents.
You know, stuff like the appointment for donating blood drives me crazy. Crazy! You’re doing a good thing, and then you have to sit and wait. There needs to be a better system! Because someone less inclined to actually give blood could be put off altogether.
I do NOT like camouflage. But I too find it far superior to anything with skulls on it.
The twins are super cute!!
I’ve never had a problem with camo, because in our neck of the woods, camo means “hunting” not “army.” As in Cabela’s, rather than Army Surplus Store. There are very different camo patterns for each purpose, and hunting camo is actually kinda pretty, IMO, since it looks like fall foliage.
(Of course, now that my boys are all grown up, they’ve somehow developed a taste for army camo, but now I have no say in it… :P)
(P.S. Note how I get around the difficult-to-spell “camouflage” by shortening it to a hip nickname….)
Just chiming in to say I agree with you whole-heartedly on the camouflage. My son was given a (good quality, sorta expensive, otherwise cute) outfit in camouflage and I gave it away.
Also, I should take this chance to say I love all your blogs Swistle….you wirte so well. Thank you!
I with you re: kids and camouflage. Don’t see why people think it’s cute. The stuff for babies is the worst!
I hear you on the camouflage thing for kids. I promise. All I see is hunting and war. But my oldest fell in love with it when he was around 5 or 6. Know why? Because he decided at that time (and continues to want to) to be a Forest Ranger when he grew up. And this is what he thought Forest Rangers should wear. So they can hide. Right?
Anyway, because it means something different to him than hunting and war (he is a vegetarian/pacifist thing), it now means something else to me, too.
Misty- I’d be the same! Like, Henry currently likes CARNIVOROUS DINOSAURS. And carnivorous dinosaurs were, uh, not exactly pacifists. But now I buy tons of stuff with carnivorous dinosaurs. And “forest ranger” is the best use of camo EVER.
Personally, I would have gone with the skulls. Kind of an odd choice, though. You’d think there would be a death-neutral option.
StephLove- RIGHT? Like, a plain blue or something?
LOLOLOL. I had a very similar experience with my new indigo dyed jeans. I really thought there was something wrong with me!!!
The twins in their uniforms? ADORABLE.
I TOTALLY get the camo thing! So much that I had to type in all caps. I was this close to adding extra exclamation points.
I don’t buy camo for my kid either.
The blood donation thing must be annoying. I agree that if they’re always that busy, they might want to think about being prepared or limiting the number of people who can sign up for that time. You would think the solution would be obvious to them.