With my weird schedule right now (three schoolbuses to remember to catch/meet), I’ve been searching for a timer I could set to go off at the same times each day. I looked at medication timers, and they did look good but most had features I didn’t need and cost more than I wanted to spend, so then I’d think, “Meh, this is silly, I guess I can just remember.” But THEN, yesterday at Target I got William a Timex watch on 75% off, and I was reading the instructions to set the time and I saw that his watch can be set to beep at certain times each day, and THEN I realized his watch is the same brand as mine, so maybe…? And sure enough! Not only can I make my watch beep three different times a day, it even let me choose “weekdays” so it won’t beep at me on weekends. I love when things work out like this.
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I am in one of those dumb fits where I’m going over old conversations in my mind and doing them differently—suggesting, for example, that someone take a transcript of our conversation to his/her psychiatrist to see if the psychiatrist agrees with me that it’s time for him/her to get a big medication adjustment. I also had a long mental argument with a SPAMMER. And I delivered an entire mental SEMINAR on why it’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard of to say a stay-at-home parent doesn’t own an equal share of the household income. And I keep catching myself and telling myself to quit it, but then the next time my mind drifts I’m doing it again. This usually lasts a day or two. Perhaps you picked up on that tone in my post yesterday: touchy and responding to criticisms that haven’t happened yet? Yeah. I am a joy to be around when I’m in one of these fits. Speaking of consulting psychiatrists.
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I had a DREAM about Hershey Almond and Toffee Symphony bars, so I bought one yesterday and…disappointing. First of all, they used to be 8 ounces and now they’re 4.25 ounces and cost MORE than when they were 8 ounces.
I was so excited when I found out my cell phone could do this. I now have, like, 5 different alarms in there that I turn on and off constantly based on my schedule. It’s awesome.
I do this all the time, and I totally always sound cooler, more witty, and awesome the second time around.
I used to put symphony bars in cookies. This gives me a sad.
Bell- ME TOO, and ALSO, I never CRY in the rehash!
It sounds like such a small thing, but I am so completely in love with my alarm clock because of the ability to program only weekdays. I never turn it OFF off, just hit radio and snooze each morning to make it go off until the next weekday. It also is programmed to automatically change for daylight saving time, but since they shifted when that is, I have to change the time zone setting for a couple weeks every fall and spring. My husband hates it because I will not turn it OFF off when the little one is sick and I spend the night in her room, and he can’t figure out the radio/snooze thing and just keeps hitting snooze every 9 minutes until I come back to our room. Pffft….
Also, I do the imaginary conversation thing, too. It’s soothing when I need to feel in control even when I’m not.
Your second paragraph kind of describes my internal self to a tee.
I don’t think my psychiatrist is very good.
Your post reminded me of how when I was in college, Ben and Jerry’s chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream used to have swirls of dough as if it were actually stirred in, and you never knew what you’d get, but now it has these evenly dispersed nuggets of crap and it’s just not the same, dammit. And I’m sure it costs way more.
1. I have those internal dialogues all the darn time. Especially in bed just after turning out the light. They are a very good reminder than I need to chip a 1/4 of a Unisom off and go to sleep.
2. I don’t know if I actually say I’m a bad mom, although I will say I win “Crap Mom of the Day Award” or something to that effect when I screw up. I have always had unreasonably high expectations of myself (I was the kid for whom an A++++ was not quite as good as I might have done). And that has continued into motherhood, although being on ADs has helped tremendously with that (as well as good therapy).
3. The above is why when I read about a truly bad mom (like one who keeps child chained up in a pile of filth), I pat myself on the back and think, “Well, at least you haven’t done that.”
4. I use my blog as a vent….my own free therapy….like a journal. I keep it public in case any moms with OCD/GAD or postpartum mood issues want to read about my experience….and know they aren’t stark raving mad.
Anyway—sometimes friends disagree with my post, but since I know them I know we are having a “conversation” of respectful disagreement. But I really do hate it when someone I have never met (and especially when they post anonymously) makes a negative comment. I can handle it if they are polite, but when they are snotty, presumptive and, even worse, poor grammarians and spellers, my head just wants to pop off.
I re-hash conversations all the time. I’m always much wittier and A LOT more brave in my head.
There are certain activities I do where I am more prone to having angry imaginary conversations with The People In My Head (usually people I disagree with politically or with other Life Principles.) Mowing the lawn is one of those. Doing the dishes. Repetitive activities where my body is engaged but my mind is free. I think I need to find something pleasant to drift to. Maybe a good old-fashioned fantasy.
I hate having pointless conversations in my head. But I do it a lot! Next time I’ll try to remember that you do it, too. Maybe I will have on with you (in my head) about the futility of it all.
Ah, Swistle. You make me feel so much less alone in my crazy little world. ;-)
I have mental arguments all the time. Especially with The Hubs. Which is totally not fair because then I actually get irritated iwth him for something I think I “know” he’s going to say or has said…oops!!
And yeah, that is totally annoying about the Symphony bars.
Yes, yes, the rehashing of old conversations… It’s such a pointless exercise, and yet so IRRESISTIBLE, no? Sometimes I can work myself up into a froth about something that happened MONTHS ago. I wish I had some sort of cure-all, but lacking that, I hope that you find something else to distract you.
And I’m glad you mentioned the vast difference between candy bars now and “way back” in, say, the 80s or early 90s. Should there really be such a dramatic change in price and size in so little time? Although it does give credence to those “when I was a kid, a candy bar was five cents” claims my parents made all the time.
I’m so glad to discover that lots of other people rehash conversations in their heads. I do it all the time. It’s such a waste of energy, but I can’t help it!
Um, I have had so many mental rehashings/arguments with people who don’t even know I’m annoyed with them lately that I might have driven myself slightly CRAZY. Because sometimes when everyone’s out of the house I even have the conversations a little bit OUT LOUD. That means you’re going crazy, right?
Oh! Jen’s comment has reminded me of Ben n Jerry’s in the days of yore and now I WANT IT. Which is impractical, as it is no longer available.
I am generally pretty good with the zingers on my feet, but I am EVEN BETTER in hindsight, which is frustrating. Particularly when dealing with our cornhole neighbor, who treats my husband with deference and respect and yet somehow feels its okay to talk to me like I’m a dim-witted kindergartner. I have given him SEVERAL dressings-down in my head, let me tell you.