By 7:00 this morning my ears were already TOTALLY FULL. The children are narrating their EVERY THOUGHT, and they talk over each other and then one of them tries to ask me a question about why it’s windier in daytime than in nighttime and another one asks me to get another cup of milk and a third one tries to tell me a joke, and I feel like I’m going to SCREEEEEEEEEEEAM. Combine that with the endless CRASHES and FIGHTS and TATTLING, and you have mommy putting vodka in her coffee. (You don’t actually have mommy putting vodka in her coffee. You just have mommy thinking about how terrible that would taste.)
This is the last chance to enter to win the $100 Visa giftcard over on the reviews blog by either praising the Fourth of July recipe I came up with or admiring the twins practicing for kindergarten. And really, I think you should praise my recipe, because when I got that assignment I didn’t have any idea what I was going to do. A RECIPE using POP-TARTS. And it had to be Fourth of July themed. I….that’s not really my….you know? And when I came up with my idea, I just about lost consciousness from the perfection of it (it uses exactly one box of Pop-Tarts!), and I worried that the other bloggers would all come up with the same idea because it was so perfect. But no one else did! And although some of them came up with pretty good ideas, I’m sure they were all jealous of mine. I’m imagining Pop-Tarts executives (“What do you do?” “I’m a Pop-Tarts executive”) sitting around a big table saying, “Did you SEE what she came up with? We had no idea this project would be such a success! We need to bring her onto the Pop-Tarts Executive Team RIGHT AWAY! Tell the Pop-Tarts pilot to warm up the Pop-Tarts jet!”
THanks to this post I now know what I want ot be when I grow up. A pop-tart executive. And I would totally have business cards shaped like pop-tarts and the number to get me would by 800-pop-tart…do you see how perfect it would all be?!
Vodka doesn’t really have a taste. I’m just sayin…
“What do you do?””I’m a Pop-Tarts executive.”
This? Is going to make me smile all day. People at work will be wondering if I’ve finally lost it. I may be looking forward to this just a little too much.
putting Baileys in your coffee is totally acceptable, I think. I mean, it’s practically creamer.
Also, I have some iced tea vodka that I considered putting in hot tea yesterday morning. I really should have…
Ugh I know exactly how you feel– all of their voices at once. Sometimes it is all I can do to stop myself from scream “SHUT UP SHUT UP JUST ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!!!!”
I don’t kill the pain with liquor, but sometimes a shot of heavy cream in my coffee does the trick.
Vodka in coffee, probably wouldn’t add much to it. Now some Bailey’s? Oh yesh. OR if you wanted to go lighter in calories, but higher in punch, vanilla vodka (just a touch!) and a little extra sweetner. You’re welcome.
I feel you. I can only imagine.
Instead of vodka, try kahlua or bailey’s. much tastier:)
Ditto the above poster. If you add Bailey’s then you’re not putting in liquor, you’re just adding “Cream.”
I’m with the others: I think that imagining the daily business activities of a PopTart Executive will be my happy place for the rest of the day.
Pop Tart Executive = what I want to be when I grow up.
Unless I could be a Cheetos Executive…
I know what you mean – teaching first grade was like that some afternoons – I would get to a point where hearing my name one more time was going to send me right over the edge. Heck, I only have two kids and we have plenty of days like that! Hope things aren’t going down hill.
Oh vodka has a taste: the taste of sanity…
Perhaps you should just sign them up for Twitter accounts and tell them to get it out that way.
omg I hate the jokes. Sometimes I wish they had a mute button.
Why do they always have to talk at the same time. Louder and louder. Even my husband does this, he talks to me about FINANCE or BUSINESS or something that requires concentration while the kids are telling me about dinosaurs or asking for a snack and then the dog starts barking….kill me.
I have never been a fan of pop tarts AT ALL, but reading those perky words over and over makes me kinda happy. poptart! poptart! POP! TART! So fun!
I like to imagine that the pop-tarts plane would start with a button that looks like a toaster’s…
Swistle – do you ever have a child over to play? I find that when one of my children has a guest over, my 2nd child plays with them too, and I get a break.
As long as the guest child is an EASY child – I find this works great in GETTING THE KIDS OUT OF MY POCKET.
Or can you get a child (or 2) out of the house on a play date?
Anyway – I feel your pain.
I was just thinking about you the other day and how exhausted you must be in the summer when all the kids are home.
Also, I kinda want to be the pilot of the PopTart jet.
I like the idea of vodka and pop tarts for breakfast. Should make the rest of the day really easy.
I’ve found that turning on my (insert your music player here), putting the ear buds in my ears, and applying hearing protection ear muffs over those works WONDERS for these kinds of days. The ear muffs are like a covering for a raw nerve; they dampen the noise just enough that you don’t want to smack the next person who talks to you, but you can still hear what is going on, and when they come up and try to talk to you, you just point to the ear muffs to remind them that you “can’t” hear. It also helps if you sit down with them sometime before using the ear muffs and say something like: “Sometimes lots of noise hurts my ears, so when that happens I’m going to put on my ear muffs so that I don’t get grumpy.” This idea SAVED LIVES on our last 14-hours-with-4-children car trip!
I love the pop-tart cut outs. I’m pretty sure even I could do that!
Very cute! Knowing myself, and the fact that I have sewing cuts currently on my fingers, my pop tarts might end up a bit on the bloody side. Just for curious, what is that flavor of pop tarts filled with?