My mom and I went out shopping today, and at lunchtime we went to McDonald’s. We were unloading the kids from the car when a man pulled up in a truck and said, “Can you call 911 for me? I feel like I’m going to pass out.”
For me (someone who lies awake worrying about handling herself in an emergency and is scared of telephones to the point of diagnosed phobia), this was like opening the door to a room where a child has had a dramatic and horrifying barf incident. When there is barf on the ceiling and in between all the intricately-carved rails of the crib, there is a time period during which one stares at the disaster and tries to deny what one is seeing, and then there is a moment where one gathers oneself up and thinks, “There is no one else to do this thing which must be done, and so I’d best get started.” The journey of a thousand loads of laundry begins with a single paper towel.
Right away there was a decision to be made: cell phone, or go inside? I went for cell phone. My cell phone was out of batteries. I took my mom’s. I didn’t know how to use it, or even how to unlock it, and I also knew 911 wouldn’t be able to track my location and that I didn’t know where I was either, and I tried not to think about how much this resembled one of my Anxiety Dreams. I thought, “911 is accustomed to people who don’t know what they’re doing. THEY will figure this out. JUST DON’T CRY.”
I called, and they did figure it out, and I didn’t cry until the end when she told me to “Take care.” I told them the wrong city (we were right near the border of two), but it was quickly and efficiently figured out by the people who knew what they were doing. It cost maybe 15 seconds of time. They asked me a bunch of questions, and I kept reminding myself to say “I don’t know” if I didn’t know, rather than panicking and/or guessing. They asked me to guess his age, and I did, remembering that they don’t really expect me to guess accurately, they just wanted his approximately decade, and that most people belong at least to a recognizable DECADE and that it was okay to give that decade (“in his 40s, I think”) rather than trying to guess exactly (“42 or so? Or maybe older. Or you know, his hair is thinning and that can make men look so much older, so maybe he’s more like my age? I’m in my mid-thirties. Or maybe he could be even older than that? I’m not sure.”).
This is when my mom suggested we go OVER to him instead of continuing to stand by my car in the next aisle, which I swear had never occurred to me. My mom said kindly later, “Well, it would have occurred to you eventually,” but no, it wouldn’t have. Or rather, it would have, and I would have NOT gone over: I would have thought we should give him privacy, or space, or something. But my mom was exactly right, because do you know what? If a 911 operator is asking you questions about someone you don’t know, the session goes better if you can ASK THE STRANGER for the answers! I know, right?? Emergency Medical Training right here, free of charge!
He was pale and sweating and shiny and shaking, and he was moving around really restlessly. It was a hot and sunny day and I opened the door to his truck, and my mom opened the passenger door, but it was still hot. I asked the 911 operator if we should do anything, have him lie down or help him out of the car or something, and she said no. I’m not a touch-oriented person (I have to deliberately remember to hug the children or I don’t think of it—that’s how non-touch-oriented I am), but I put my hand on his upper arm and it was obviously the right thing to do because he GRABBED for my hand with his other hand. I remembered some study I’d read where it said that nurses who touched their patients were far more effective than those who didn’t. I also remembered when I was in the hospital having my babies and someone offered a hand to hold and I was so grateful to have it and so reluctant to let it go. So then I held his hand with my other hand and left my first hand on his upper arm, and my mom said later she wished she had thought of it first. It was a good move.
He wanted me to call his girlfriend and so here was the phone/emergency situation to deal with again, but it went okay and I didn’t cry. This is when I thought to ask his name, another move that turned out to be a good idea. He was very eager that she know that his valuables were under the passenger-side mat. I was eager not to panic her or to make her feel obligated to come (she was 25 minutes away, and unshowered/undressed), because I was pretty sure (though NOT sure) that he could take those things with him to the hospital. But he was adamant, and he was saying it again and again. It reminded me of my one big car accident at 17 when I was trying to give the ambulance drivers my car insurance information.
I kept telling him the ambulance was on the way, and that everything would be okay. It was a combination of Mommy Mode and things I’d seen on TV. He’d watched TV too because he said, “This is what they do, right? They keep you talking and conscious and they say everything’s fine!” I said, yes, they did, but that I really did think he’d be okay: that he definitely looked pale and sweaty and ill, but that he didn’t look like a man on The Way Out. That maybe he’d just had too much sun, and maybe they would cool him down and hook him up to an IV for awhile and everything would be fine. (He’d been working outside all morning, he said.) I don’t know if people who don’t know anything are supposed to offer worthless reassurances, but that’s what I did.
The ambulance seemed like it took a long time to get there, but I looked at my watch when everything was over and it was only 15 minutes later than when we’d arrived at McDonald’s so it can’t have been TOO long. They didn’t have their sirens on; shouldn’t they have had their sirens on? I’d thought we’d hear them coming. They checked him briefly and then put him on a stretcher and said they’d bring him into the ambulance where it was cooler. I told them about his stuff under the mat and asked if we should stay or if we should get out of their way now, and they said we could go. I went over and told the man that we were going, and he grabbed my hand again. I don’t think he ever once saw me: his eyes were moving moving moving.
We went in to McDonald’s but my mom said she couldn’t eat until she made sure the ambulance people got his stuff, so she went over to a window and watched until one of them went to the passenger side, got his stuff, closed the doors and locked them. I got her a diet Coke to sip while she waited, but she was at our table by the time I got there. We ate lunch, and of course his truck was still there when we left. What’s weird is we’ll never know what it was. Heatstroke? Heart attack? Food poisoning? Did he…die? Probably not. But did he?
I came out of this feeling relief. I worry a lot that I won’t be able to handle an emergency, because for one thing I’m not a fast thinker, and fast thinkers do better in emergencies. So I guess I’d started thinking I’d be BAD in an emergency, COUNTER-good in fact. But I was fine! I wasn’t perfect, I didn’t demonstrate a Natural Gift for Emergency Handling, but I was COMPETENT, and that was such a relief! And I felt like I LEARNED things from the experience (TOUCH! Find out the person’s name! Don’t let the fact that you don’t know everything throw you into a panic!) that would help me if such a thing happened again, and that gave me hope, too: some people ARE naturally gifted in Emergency-Handling, but probably a LOT of people get good at it from EXPERIENCE and TRAINING, and those are things I could get too.
These kind of situations are scary. You all handled it very well. I hope he was alright, chances are they caught what ever it was before something super serious happened. During the summer so many people work outside, and overdo it and can get dehydrated and then pair that with maybe having high blood pressure or something and it can put them over the top. Good job girl! Also unless something life threatening is going on, they don’t run the sirens. I’ve found this out from a couple cars accidents, and trips to the ER via ambulance.
Well done!
Very good job! As an ER/ICU nurse who is confused if a shift passes WITHOUT an emergency situation, I’d say you did an excellent job. I used to be terrified of emergencies until I had enough practice at them that my responses became normal. It’s like practicing at anything, really. Someone’s not breathing? Okay, here is 1st, 2nd, 3rd things I do, constantly re-evaluating to see if I need to do a, b, or c instead.
My money is on a heart attack – your description of pale, sweaty, restless, etc is spot-on. Might he have been ashen or grey? I hope they got him to a hospital with a good cath lab!
I think you did great, and now you know how to react instead of wondering and worrying how you would.
I was in a situation last summer that tested my abilities in an emergency and I was really relieved to know I was pretty good at it.
Good for you for keeping your head, and not only that, but for being the kind of person who stays and helps instead of walking away.
Nicely handled, Swistle! I think it sounds like you’re actually quite GOOD in an emergency. You thought things through, did the best you could, and held it together. That’s what I’d hope to do.
Go you!! That is a terrifying situation and one I DREAD but I can only hoipe I would do as well as you!
Listen to me, the fact that you got involved at all is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. Do you know how many people would have ignored him? You handled the situation perfectly, you called 911 and stayed with him until help arrived. You are a hero plain and simple.
I am so proud of you! What you did was brave because I know how hard these things are for you. Good job Swistle (and Swistle’s mom).
Such a great post! I am like you with the phone hating and the not-quick thinking and I always worry if something emergent happened with my kids that I would not be up to the challenge. You have given some great tips here. I will reread your post and commit it to memory. Hopefully I will never have to use it. Oh, and way to go! Nice job! Scary, for sure, but it sounds like you were terrific.
(((hugs))) awesome job. I agree- you did the most important thing by helping in the first place! Hope he’s ok.
You did great!
I can handle other people’s emergencies just fine. My own, ay ya ya I freak the heck out. Lose my shit. Once the initial panic of my child swallowing a quarter wore off, I did okay.
Not really the most important part of your story to comment on BUT…when my husband took the ambulance drivers test in California I learned that emergency vehicles while ona call only HAVE to run their lights, not sirens. If there was little to no traffic or if they travelled through a residential neighborhood they wouldn’t need to use their sirens. :)
Good Job!
You did a wonderful job, but I have to admit you had me chuckling at things like “They asked me to guess his age, and I did, remembering that they don’t really expect me to guess accurately, they just wanted his approximately decade, and that most people belong at least to a recognizable DECADE and that it was okay to give that decade (“in his 40s, I think”) rather than trying to guess exactly (“42 or so? Or maybe older. Or you know, his hair is thinning and that can make men look so much older, so maybe he’s more like my age? I’m in my mid-thirties. Or maybe he could be even older than that? I’m not sure.”).”
Good for you! How did the kids handle it?
On a whim I came to your site, and I went through getting an ambulance to our home early this morning for our invalid mother who had fallen in her room steps away from her night time potty chair and broke a bone in her leg. Yes, I immediately called 9ll. She is allergic to morphine, so I had to tell a dozen people that in the course of the early morning hours. Trouble with older people is, they don’t recover as easily, they take pills that thin their blood, so they put a temporary cast on her leg until they can perform the actual leg surgery a week out from now. If the older person is incoherent, you have to be the one to handle the insurance cards, and most of the time you need to have the ‘power of attorney’ to admit them. Our mother was in ER for nine hours until she was formally admitted to a hospital room. Yes, I am exhausted as I did not leave ER for four hours until the doctor said they didn’t need me there anymore. Then mom’s other daughter came from three hours away and took over. She has experience in nursing, from working in a doctor’s office. So the situation is out of my hands now…and yes…you do what you have to do in any given situation where there is an emergency.
Thanks for your story…you and your mother did very well and filled in for any lack thereof. You were the man’s guardian angels for the day.
Bless you both.
posted from California
Whoah! I’m so glad you all were there. Lucky for him to run in to two of the sharpest women I know. Nice work.
Did no one ever ask if he were diabetic? I guess he would have volunteered that information, but my first instinct would have been to give him some juice even as I dialed 911. Or water to sip since you said it was unusually hot.
Sorry the kids were with you; I know that must have added to your stress level. At least your mom was with you!
Ack, I am having posting problems. Maybe because I slightly teased you about having your cell charged—you never know when there will be an emergency. But I guess I should focus on the great stuff you did do.
Wow! What a day! Good job.
Scary! Sounds like you did the right thing. Good Job!
DomestiKook- I’m VERY interested in ambulance stuff!
Jac- Luckily we only had two kids with us and they were both oblivious. My mom managed them while I was with the guy.
SIL Anna- HA HA! You should have seen us dithering and fluttering around! We need more practice with this.
Leslie- 911 had us ask him if he had any medical conditions (no), and he was already sipping water (which 911 told him to stop doing). Sounds like you’re better in an emergency than I am; managing the dialing the most I could handle to start with, and I don’t have any experience with diabetes or the treatment of it.
Hotch Potchery- Hee! My comment section is being my guard dog? I must have it dialed to Over-Vigilant. Teasing about cell phone is totally allowed, ESPECIALLY because I have been irritable with Paul about HIS phone not being charged, saying to him, “What is the POINT of carrying around a USELESS CHUNK OF METAL??” Oh, hubris. Assuming that’s what hubris means. (Cell phone charged as soon as I got home!)
Reading this post made me feel like I was watching one of those medical shows where they recreate the drama for TV. I was on the edge of my seat! And I think you handled things quite well.
I’d like to strongly advise against Leslie’s suggestion of giving someone juice “while dialing 911.” I suppose if you already had juice in your hand and if you were right next to the person who needed help, it wouldn’t be likely to seriously hurt anything to offer him a sip (though as you found, 911 will tell you not to), but most people wouldn’t happen to have juice in their hands. Even if you had some in the diaper bag, that’s going to delay you from calling, and time is the most important thing for an untrained bystander to maximize.
I’d also like to point out that diabetes is just one of many, many medial conditions a person might have, and that doing a treatment for every possible condition is not something you should be doing. Calling 911, that was your job. Treating unknown medical conditions of strangers without being instructed to do so, definitely not your job and potentially very dangerous. It takes only a few seconds to be connected to 911.
My first thought was…I hope if I ever need help, that you (or a close likeness of you) is nearby. You did an amazing job, and as a former nurse, your show of compassion through touch was JUST the best thing to do…after calling 911! Maybe you should leave a note for the man with the manager of the McD’s…I bet he will be back there checking to see if anyone knows who it was that helped him…just a thought…
The most important thing is, you handled it, and handled it well. Goob job!
Wow, the guy was very lucky to encounter you and your mom. Way to go!
It sounds like you did exactly the right thing. Good for you!!
Good for you! It made me cry, though, READING about how he grabbed your hand, if I had been there and it had been my hand, I’d have probably sobbed in his face. You’re a lifesaver!
It sounds like you were awesome!
I just can NOT believe that this happened to you. Seriously.
What a strange, surreal thing.
Well done!! Noone ever knows how they are going to react in a situation like that until it happens. The toughest part of any emergency situation is to stay calm and not panic. Sounds like you managed to do just that! Well done!!
Things like this can really make a life better Swistle, both that guy’s and yours. He knows now that there are two more honest and caring people in the world and you know now that you can get through an emergency, make phone calls and care for a stranger all at the same time.
I’ve had a few head injuries at my house, and know that I am calm in the face of blood and/or my children being hurt. It’s a good thing to know. Also though, last time my son fell and split his head, (just skin, not bone) once all the excitement and adrenaline were over and I was “off duty” I practically had a panic attack. I had to sit down and do deep breathing and keep touching him to make sure he was okay.
You handled this brilliantly. I would have been concerned about crying, too! It’s great that you stayed so calm and I am sure the guy was very comforted by your touch.
Well done, Swistle! How lucky for him you were there. YES, REALLY.
I once came across a guy totally tripped out on Special K (I didn’t even know what it was at the time). We had to call 911 from his cell phone because he was clinging to a stop sign and then just fell in the dirt. He never quite regained consciousness, it was scary. His girlfriend called to see where he was and I answered the phone and told her what was going on. She told us what he had taken, but didn’t bother to come get him. I was so shocked at the “I’m going to get busted if I come so I don’t care” thing that it kind of was surreal. We went to the hospital to see how he was doing a few hours later, but they wouldn’t tell us anything because we weren’t family. I never did find out if he was okay.
oh my, i am very proud of you :-) i do consider myself a pretty-good-in-emergencies person, but i feel very NOT GOOD in many other situations, and can’t imagine being thrown into one of those and handling it with such aplumb. yay for you!
I just wanted to say that this post, for some reason, touched me deeply. It sounds like you did everything right despite the anxieties of doing wrong or not doing enough (which I share, oh yes) and I am sure you appeared calm and in control to that man, and that he felt more calm because of it, and taken care of. Which is exactly what’s missing in an emergency.
sounds like you did everything perfectly! i was very worried that i would be a freak in an emergency too, so i just took a CERT (Community Emergency REsponse Team) class through our fire department. it was so empowering and i feel so much more confident now that i could do what is needed in an emergency. although…we live in an earthquake hotzone, so i’m not sure the classes are all over the U.S. but might be worth looking into. they are free! and a few nights away from the kids! oh…and also you learn a crap-load of stuff!
So many great comments here, and I especially like Lindsay’s. That man’s probably out there wondering who you are and wanting to thank you somehow too. :) I am slowly learning–and even more slowly accepting–that life’s not always about “paying someone back” but rather about “paying it forward.”