Pre-Travel Fretting at Last

Oh, okay, good, now I’m nervous about my trip. I leave around lunchtime on Friday, and right now it is Wednesday evening, and I’ve been having to talk myself through it. Like: “Even if one of your travel anxiety dreams came true and you forgot all about your flight until you had to leave immediately without packing, EVEN THEN, you would grab your purse and a book and you would board that plane, and when you got to Eric and Anna’s they’d take you to Target and you’d buy a package of underwear and a pair of the exact same jeans you like already, and a couple of t-shirts, and a clearance duffle bag to carry it back home with you, and some new books and snacks for the flight home and it would in fact be kind of a fun thing. SO QUIT WORRYING THAT YOUR TRAVEL-SIZE DEODORANT WILL BE TOO SMALL.”

Besides, I know perfectly well I will be happy as soon as I’m walking into the airport, my pink suitcase clicketying along behind me as I breeze past all the people waiting in line to check bags, pretending it’s because I’m such a savvy traveler rather than that I’m only going away for a few days. I love airports. Lovvvvvvvvvve airports. I will buy postcards, and maybe a doughnut to eat while I wait in the security-check line. After I go through (and I do hope I can avoid the pat-down this time, even though the security guard was very gentle and polite), I will fill my empty water bottle at a drinking fountain. I will calculate the best possible time for a Last Pee Before Boarding. I’ll be in the first boarding group (I paid the extra $10 for early check-in) and I’ll get my favorite seat (row 20, window, on the left side of the plane as you’re walking toward the back of the plane). BEST SEAT.

I will settle in and start reading a book and eating snacks, and then there will be the take-off, which I LOVE, and then I will take too many pictures out the window. And then there will be the layover and I’ll walk around ANOTHER airport, feeling all travel-wise because I! Am! Somewhere I’m usually not! More postcards. A weird-time-of-day meal at the airport Wendy’s. Onto a new plane with another take-off. And then it’s Eric and Anna and Niestle and whoooo!

Okay, now back to fretting, and to doing laundry as if everyone will run out of clothes in the four days I’m gone.

24 thoughts on “Pre-Travel Fretting at Last

  1. Emily

    We must be travel TWINS. Oh how I love it. I show up three hours early for flights not because I’m panicked or nervous (well, not MOSTLY panicked or nervous), but because I’m ALONE, FINALLY and also because I can eat and browse and pass time watching people. And there is no better excuse to eat a donut than because you’re “stuck” at the airport. Have a great trip!!

    Reply
  2. Lara

    You are the same travel type as me – fret, fret, fret, LOVE. I love airports too, LOVE THEM. So many people hate them and I love everything about them – I love having the excuse to eat crappy food, buy arm-loads of magazines and as many books as I want. And candy. Then I walk around all “Oh who me? Just travelling. Do this all the time. Going somewhere cool. Total pro.” And the last pee calculation – critical!

    Have fun!

    Reply
  3. Jess

    When I was six and my sister was eight my family took a trip to the beach. My sister and I shared a suitcase and packed it full of all our beach stuff. Then we all drove merrily off to the beach. When we arrived we discovered that our suitcase was not in the car. My dad had overlooked it when loading the trunk. So, we went to K-Mart (I think) and bought all new stuff. I had the time of my life. I got a bathing suit with Minnie Mouse on it and I loved that thing so much. At the time the forgotten suitcase was one of the highlights of my summer.

    Reply
  4. lisa

    Oh Swistle, I love how you make it all sound so exciting. And you even have a favorite seat!! (have you ever looked at seatguru.com?) My husband encouraged me, on a whim, to get a ticket home for my to-be SIL’s bridal shower next week and, get THIS, for the first time since becoming a mom I’ll be leaving the baaaybees behind for SEVEN days. And despite the fact that the flying time to NY is about 18 hours, I’ll be doing it by myself which makes the 18hrs of flying seem, dare I say, enjoyable? Would you like a postcard from Tokyo? ;)

    Reply
  5. Party of 5

    I love the line, “I am somewhere I am usually not”. I am leaving my three for a week in June and that is how I am looking forward to it. I will be somewhere I am usually not. Doesn’t get much better than that!

    Reply
  6. Shelly Overlook

    I love airports, too. Well, I should qualify that – I love airports when I am not traveling with my child. You know what I especially love? The smell of airports! Know what I mean?

    Reply
  7. jiveturkey

    Oh holy shit, I HATE TAKE OFF. That’s pretty much the entire source of my stress when I travel by air. Once we’re at cruising altitude, I can breathe. And landing is a breeze. But take off makes me white-knuckle the arm rest. EVERY TIME.

    Reply
  8. Kalendi

    I’m like you Swistle. I fret and worry before I go, but then I arrive at the airport waaayy early and the rest is fun! (usually, unless I miss connecting flights or whatever). I love airports and being in the plane (except landing and take-off).

    Reply
  9. missris

    Sounds about like what I freak out about. I once had someone ask me well, what WOULD happen if your travel nightmare came true? I’d get a new flight, buy a new whatever I lost/left behind, call whoever was going to pick me up and make new arrangements. The world would not end. It helps me to work all the way through my what ifs to see that if they happened it wouldn’t be that bad.

    Reply
  10. samantha

    Can I share for a moment? To ease your anxiety?

    (Backstory: Theo got the flu Monday night)

    Flew in to Arlington yesterday morning. On the plane, watching the safety video not yet up in the air but still moving down the runway, I puke. A LOT. Half in the bag and half out. Then I puke in the bag a few more times. Just then we start to take off. The puke bag RIPS. It goes ALL OVER THE FLOOR. And since we are at a severe incline at this point, IT STARTS TO RUN BACKWARDS a la The Blog, towards people’s stuff. So I have to catch it with my BARE HANDS to prevent this. When I’m finally able to get out of my seat to go to the bathroom, I stand up and have another accident of personal origin if you know what I mean and I think you do. So that’s great!

    I clean up the best I can (HA HA HA HA!!) and hang out near the back of the plane for the rest of the TWO HOUR FLIGHT, as I need to be close to the bathroom.

    My suit is ruined (did I mention this was a business trip?) and I went straight to the hotel when we landed and tried not to die. 24 hour travel flu FTW!

    So please rest easy and know that this will NOT happen to you so you can continue on to live a long and fulfilled life.

    Reply
  11. Nicole

    Oh, now I want to go somewhere. I love flying and airports. Especially alone. But I worry about the same things and my husband always says “They have stores there, you know.” Yes, I know.

    Reply
  12. SIL Anna

    When I was in college, I used to have a layover at the Charlotte airport around Christmastime. I loved the huge poinsetta tree and those rocking chairs everywhere. You’re making me appreciate it more, I think!

    Can’t wait to see you!

    Reply
  13. Sarah

    I had a comment but Samantha’s story of doom just completely erased it. W.T.F. Worst travel incident EVER, short of maybe being kidnapped or something. I can’t think of a worse place for the flu to hit.

    Reply
  14. lisa

    I have an irrational fear of vomit so Samantha’s story would be like living my own personal hell. Furthermore– if you were sitting in the next seat wouldn’t you, I don’t know, offer up the barf bag from YOUR seat pocket and help? Im SO sorry– what an awful experience!

    Reply
  15. Melissa R.

    I love airports so much that I just had to work at one for a few years. I loved my uniform (cute dress!), loved all the hustle and bustle and even had no problem with the crankies and late/cancelled flights because I was going home that night and could be calm and cheerful.

    I miss that job. It paid crap but the benefits were great and I worked with some of the most fun people ever.

    ENJOY!

    Reply
  16. Sam

    Before I visit my MIL for the weekend (5 hr drive) I wash EVERYTHING and clean EVERYTHING like I am never coming back and how will the world go on without a clean empty house?

    Reply

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