Beautiful Spring Sunshine and the Incompatibility Thereof

I have been so cranky! So terribly cranky! I am moping around feeling incompatible with the beautiful spring sunshine.

I am working on soothing it through the acquisition of material possessions. Look at my pretty rings!

What’s prettier, the rings or the clearance stickers? Two of them are “cocktail rings,” and six of them are for everyday glamor. (I think it should be spelled “glamour.” Why is spellchecker arguing with me? Does it WANT to pick a fight?) I am wearing a deep plum flower ring right now. I am waiting to feel better. I do feel a LITTLE better.

I am also a little tipsy, because when material possessions didn’t work I turned to liquor. I mean, obv: first step shopping, second step booze, that is the sequence of events. Still cranky, though. Still feeling as if the world is populated by difficult and unreasonable people who honk when you’re stopped at a crosswalk because they assume you’re an idiot who would stop in the middle of the road for no reason.

How can I be feeling TOTALLY OVERWHELMED by children and really VERY GLAD to see the caboose heading through the milestones—and also still longing for JUST ONE MORE? I had a dream that I was pregnant with another boy, and that he was due on my birthday but we’d waited until just 2 months before the birth to tell everyone. I woke up thinking of baby names. Oliver Frederick. Simon Pearce. Oliver Pearce. Simon Perry. Sigh. Sadness. No one to use the names on. Paul says we can use the names on cats, but that doesn’t satisfy at all.

Soon we’ll get a kitten. That will help briefly.

I’ve wanted to increase my exercise with this diet I’m on, but instead I’ve decreased. I’m down to two times a week. And when I do exercise I feel tired and angry, before and after. I wait for the satisfaction of having done it, and instead I feel worn out and unpleasantly sweaty and like a pawn of stupid social pressure.

I took a pregnancy test today, even, because I’ve been so tired and cranky and queasy. Negative. Okay, I just went to the trash and dug it out to make sure it was still negative. (Still negative.)

What else could explain the tiredness, the queasiness, the salt cravings, the UNIVERSAL MALAISE? Oh no, is it Pre-Menopause?? Surely not yet. And yet the fact of it looming on the horizon, the hot flashes and the boob squashing, the knowledge that babies through biological means are no longer an option—well. I don’t want to think of it. I want to flush the Pill and add to my exhaustion and stress. No I don’t. Yes I do. No I don’t. Yes I do.

Giving things away: not working. Exercise: not working. Eating better: not working. Taking time away from he computer: not working. Shopping: not working. Cuddling the children: not working. Counting blessings: not working. Being mad at everyone in the world: not working. If you suggest religion or yoga I swear I will scream right in your ear until the ringing is permanent.

I have new shoes! I have warm cats! I have a solo trip to see my niece coming up in a month! I have eight pounds of chocolate-covered dried cherries! I have nothing to be sad about except what looms theoretically in my future! Yes, well, I told that to my psyche and it threw a vase at my head.

64 thoughts on “Beautiful Spring Sunshine and the Incompatibility Thereof

  1. Jess

    Ummmm. Time to get the hell out of dodge? Go visit Niestle? Sneak away for a weekend? Get an illness just serious enough to land you in the hospital for a night or two?

    Sorry you’re feeling this way. Sounds like PMS to me. NOT pre-menopause.

    Reply
  2. Elizabeth

    When a glass of wine doesn’t work I just don’t know what to tell you.
    Chocolate dipped ice cream cone from Dairy Queen?
    Shopping for something fun? I need a cute cheap bright fun doormat! Any suggestions?

    Reply
  3. Miss M

    I have no advice whatsoever. I’m in a horrible funk myself and absolutely nothing seems to be working. I am a complete beast to be around — in fact, I’m totally sick of myself. I’m going for a glass of wine (or three) tonight hoping that will at least take the edge off, but instead it will probably make me just tipsy and miserable. Hope this passes for you soon.

    Reply
  4. Today Wendy

    Great big virtual hugs. When I used to get into moods like this my ex would be all “We can choose our moods, and you could choose to be happy if you really wanted to”. Hence the *ex*.

    My husband on the other hand, just gives me a great big hug and goes and washes the dishes. Good luck. It’ll pass. Just keep breathing.

    Reply
  5. Shannon

    Vitamin D? I just started taking 1000 units per day a few weeks ago and it has made some difference in my energy and mood (as evidenced by the fact that I didn’t murder my MIL during her recent visit). You can safely take up to 2000 units per day according to the internets. My only warning would be that I did experience some -er- “bowel issues” for the first week or so after I started taking it but all the symptoms went away after that and I am really liking having a little more pep.

    Reply
  6. Barb @ getupandplay

    Sometimes when I’m grumpy, I feel better just giving in to the grumpiness for awhile. Try destroying something- smashing something that was going to be donated or thrown away anyway? Posting an irrational rant? Crying in the shower? Screaming into a pillow in the closet? Putting on heavy shoes and stomping around the block?

    Reply
  7. Safire

    Me too! Totally in a funk. My psyche says to go and do something for someone else, but then the grouch says that I do enough for other people already and to just wallow in it. So there. Hmph.

    Reply
  8. Lisa

    I’m feeling exactly the same. Want a fourth, the big 40 breathing heavily down my neck, but 3 under 5 is already a lot of work, I’m donating baby clothes left and right but oh, just ONE MORE…do I don’t I do I don’t I….I’ve decided to completely redecorate the living room in order to quiet the “give me a baby” voice in my head. Spending money like a drunken sailor.

    Reply
  9. Maureen

    Sorry to hear you are in a funk, sounds like quite a few other people are suffering the same thing. Sometimes you just have to “embrace the suffering” and like someone said above, it will pass.

    I just read the book Lunch in Paris by Elizabeth Bard, and it put me in a really good mood. She is a very descriptive writer, and I almost felt like I had visited France!

    Reply
  10. aibee

    Is reevaluating your contraception is an option?

    The Pill’s effect on me was gradual, I didn’t go on it and suddenly find The Crazy, you know? It took time and the downward slide was subtle, so I never thought it was why I felt so Blah. When I eventually came off it (because of hair loss, which is another awesome Pill side effect), I was totally buzzed to find my default mood is a WHOLE lot brighter than the one I’d been living for YEARS.

    Reply
  11. Anonymous

    I’m with you, Swistle. I have nothing to be in a bad mood about lately and yet my tears will SPRING from my eyes at any given moment. Hope it gets better for all of us soon!

    Reply
  12. Mykal

    Bad mood day! I spent the car ride home in self wallow of “I’m not pregnant yet, I’ll never get pregnant” WHINE. When I arrived home there was a GIANT box of diapers from diapers.com on my front porch, it was depressing and hilarious all at once. (The diapers were for the previous owners of the house, they must have ordered them and had them shipped to the wrong address.)

    Reply
  13. StephLove

    I have been reading post-apocalyptic novels all year in order to convince myself things could be worse.

    It actually kind of works for me.

    If this appeals, try:
    Stephen King’s Under the Dome (okay, just one town gets wiped out but still…)
    Margaret Atwood’s Oryx and Crake, followed by The Year of the Flood
    Cormac McCarthty’s The Road (my current read)

    Reply
  14. Nicole

    Hey, it is spelled glamour, at least in Canada.

    Sorry about your bad mood. I can’t suggest anything because I myself am in a terrible mood because my freaking mother in law was here and showered attention on my youngest all weekend – showered – and nothing at all on my older one. Fracking frack frack. My older son actually said that he thinks grandma likes his brother better. Frack frack frack.

    Soooo..I have no good advice. Sorry. But I do think your new rings are pretty. And glamourous.

    Reply
  15. halloweenlover

    Love the new rings!

    Do you think it could be something like allergies? Or maybe just general funkiness. I took a weekend away and it helped for a bit, but then when I came home I had even less patience than before I’d gone! Very annoying.

    I totally understand the unreasonable desire to have another baby, though, even when you look at your current children and wonder how you could possibly add another. I am struggling with that now.

    Reply
  16. becky

    i am in a terrible mood as well lately, the only thing that helps is to leave. just go out on your own, leave the kids and man at home and go drive out into the night listening to loud music that you love and no one else wants to listen to. go out to a bookstore and wander aimlessly until you find something that looks good. or go to a movie. or go to a diner and eat pancakes. and pretend the whole time that there is no one at home waiting for you, pretend that you are the only one that you have to worry about. this can help even if all you do is walk around the block. go out and think like a single girl for at least a couple of hours. then come home and make a midnight cup of coffee (decaf if you must) or watch a movie alone or whatever you might do if you WERE a single girl.
    i do it at least once a month and it helps so much.
    also, it totally sounds like pms (and i can say that without being an ass because i had the EXACT same experience a couple of days ago. i thought for sure we were going to have another baby at possibly the worst time in our lives to do so, and then, of course. the nice thing is that the cloth pads make it almost exciting! like you get the chance to wear that fun accessory that no one else knows about!)

    Reply
  17. Heather R

    My second child will be one in a couple of weeks and I just recently started wanting a third. For this whole past year I have been saying I was done. I had PPD really bad for 6 months! The baby still wakes to be nursed at night! why why why do I want to do that to myself again? I am only 32, not even actually for another 2 months. I have a feeling there will be a third in my future. I also take pregnancy tests randomly and then check them hours later, but it’s usually because I can’t believe my stomach is really just fat and bloated….there MUST be a baby in there!! Hope you feel better.

    Reply
  18. Sarah

    I gotta second whoever mentioned the Pill as a possible culprit. Based on my own experience and that of virtually every woman I know, I seriously think it is EV-IL. I’d say tell Paul that this particular method of birth control is making you pretty much nuts, and so he can take his dang pick: a wife who’s nuts, or a wife who’s slightly more likely to get accidentally pregnant. Condoms, rhythm method, IUD- there’s gotta be something better.
    Er, sorry if that sounded bossy. But I hate to see people suffer if there’s possibly an easy solution.
    And! It wasn’t even religion! :)

    Reply
  19. Michelle

    We’re trying for #2, two rounds of unsuccessful clomid later, I’m ready to take a break already. It’s not good. I’m of the opinion that bitching doesn’t do much good, but sometimes it’s hard not to be bitter.

    Hang in there and know you’re not alone.

    Reply
  20. Sally

    Two things: 1. Every time I see a post of yours in my reader, I go “Oh, Swistle! yay!” 2. I tried that same diet, and it made me MISERABLE. I started eating grains again two days ago, and now I am happy again. Sometimes the happy > the skinny/healthy. Just saying. Maybe the cranky began around the same time as the diet?

    Reply
  21. Party of 5

    OMG. I have a long-awaited appt. tomorrow morning with my OB-GYN tomorrow to discuss this very issue. I have such apathy regarding everything in my life. This came on gradually and although I don’t neglect anything, I let a ton of stuff go and have ZERO motivation to do anything from work out (which I need to do desperately) or put laundry away, or schedule appts. for the kids, etc. Just so apathetic… not laziness. It’s weird. I don’t have the weepies, THANK GOD, but an apathetic funk for sure. Will ask my Dr. to do whatever she sees fit. I’m game. I don’t have time for this sh*t. Hope you find something that works for you soon, too. I’ll be blogging about my experience soon. That will help. For that moment, anyway. xoxo

    Reply
  22. Anne

    I hate exercising if it is not something I like. Put me in some kind of dancing aerobics zumba sweaty room full of women and mirrors and I hate every single second. Send me out for a run and I have quiet time- no children, just me and maybe some tunes. Used to be a walk, until I worked my way slowly up to running. Exercise saves me from the crankies daily and sometimes I have to stomp my foot and insist that I get my time (like today).

    My point is- Swistle, find something you LIKE to do. A nice long walk? That’s exercise. Mowing your yard? Exercise. Shopping? The way you seem to shop I think it qualifies.

    Go outside, smell Spring, take some pics of your children and the Spring trees and flowers. Nothing cheers me up like kiddo smiles and sunshine.

    here’s hoping you get out of your funk soon! And love the rings!

    Reply
  23. Linda

    It’s such a beautiful spring where I live and I’m cranky because I can just barely keep up with all the INDOOR house maintenance/fix-ups and now I have to do OUTDOOR stuff, too? Planting and weeding and cleaning all the toys that spent winter in the garage and filling the sandbox, etc. And then I have to PLAY outside because we don’t have a fence. Blech.

    The only thing (besides some time) that helps me is to actually buckle down and get some work done. Once I actually weed the garden or spray down the toys, I feel better because at least I’m making progress. And the whole time I’m looking over my shoulder, hoping that we don’t get struck with some tragedy to teach me some perspective.

    Reply
  24. Rebecca

    Have you had your thyroid checked? I have hypothyroidism and so am well aware of the symptoms and you seem to be displaying several. Please see your Dr. about a blood test to make sure that’s not the cause! Hypothyroidism can be controlled by one pill a day (although it can take a while to get the correct dose) and you should begin to feel the effects almost immediately. Feel better!!

    Reply
  25. Saly

    “How can I be feeling TOTALLY OVERWHELMED by children and really VERY GLAD to see the caboose heading through the milestones—and also still longing for JUST ONE MORE?”

    This is exactly how I feel….every.single.day.

    Those rings make me wish I was more of a jewelry person. So pretty.

    I hope you’re feeling a bit better today.

    xo

    Reply
  26. sara

    Love the rings. The clearance tags make them even better.

    As for the rest? It = suck.

    Man I am really putting that psych degree to work….

    Reply
  27. Becky

    I KNOW! This case of the grumpies has been going around. I caught it last week and can’t seem to shake it – the only thing that made me feel marginally better was hearing “Mambo #5” on my way to work this morning. Singing along while the other drivers were probably looking on and laughing at me? AWESOME. So maybe try some music that makes you think of past fun times. A little MJ Thriller, perhaps? Anyway, good luck…

    Reply
  28. Buster

    I’ve been cranky lately too; I think the massive allergy headache is causing it.

    I always feel better after a chocolate chip cookie and a walk. Not “exercise” but just me, the ipod, and nobody else.

    Reply
  29. Anonymous

    I would agree with the pill thing too. 18 months was enough for me and then down the toilet! Maybe it’s that and a combination of diet. Hope you feel better soon; “funks” are definitely no fun.

    Reply
  30. larajean1

    I’m feeling the exact same. Seriously. The baby of four just turned two and I think about another all the time. Everybody healthy and happy etc. and I’m just feeling blah. The sun is coming out and I’m wanting to go shopping but I really SHOULD take the youngest to do something fun.

    Reply
  31. Alice

    ALSO JUMPING ON BOARD THE BAD MOOD TRAIN. am, in fact, in such a bad mood that i require all caps. have burst into embarassing hot tears SEVERAL TIMES already today, which is awful and not very adult or professional and serves to make the bad mood worse rather than relieving pent-up stress or whatever. maybe i’ll go buy some pretty rings. AND DRINK.

    Reply
  32. HalynB

    Seriously, is there a bad mood virus going around? I’ve been stalking around hating everyone and everything lately. Just last night, Husband informed me that we WILL be having a discussion about what the hell is wrong with me, because he can’t help if I don’t talk to him…well, hell, I DON’T KNOW what’s wrong with me! I’m just sad and angry.

    My theory right now is that it’s weather related…winter just keeps moving right along here in Seattle. It’s sunny today, so I’m gonna try to get outside and see if it helps, and I’m thinking about investing in a light box for next winter.

    Sorry..I seem to have used your comments as a blog. I wish I had an answer for you…I hate being sad, but I hate it more when people I like are sad.

    Also, your spellcheck is on crack. It’s glamour.

    Reply
  33. Shawna

    Hm. I haven’t had an episode like this in a long time, and when I did the only solution seemed to be to keep busy doing stuff (preferrably productive stuff that got me physically moving (I confess I liked the gym, yoga *ducks*, and dancing, but that’s just me)) and let time move onwards until I didn’t feel in such a funk. Staying still – even to watch TV or read a book – was just awful.

    Since last time though, I’ve had kids, so the mindless business of parenting wouldn’t permit me to effectively deploy this technique.

    Reply
  34. Farrell

    If it makes you feel any better, I feel the same way, but mine is attributed to that time of the month and the grey skies and the rain.

    Also, I always turn to shopping and booze, never exercise when I get in this mood, so already you have one up on me.

    Reply
  35. mommagoosenotes

    YES, Swistle, YES!!! (That’s what I say when I read your blog.) Yes for the honesty. Yes for trying to tackle your sadness. Yes for being so f-ing funny.

    (The psyche vase-throwing? I cramped with instant metaphor jealousy. Wished I had thought of that one!!)

    I’m with aibee regarding the pill. Oral contraception turns me into a cranky, cranky ball of tears and ambivalence.

    May I suggest a heartrate monitor (HRM) for your exercise? I was feeling that way about my workouts too, for a while. I could barely get the energy to do them, and after exercising, I wasn’t feeling better and I was resentful that I had wasted the time. Now I wear a HRM and I keep my HR at least over 150 for 25-40 minutes. This has made ALL the difference. Energy, happiness, yadda, yadda.

    I probably should have prefaced that suggestion with imao. (In my assinine opinion…) :)

    Feel better!

    Reply
  36. mommagoosenotes

    YES, Swistle, YES!!! (That’s what I say when I read your blog.) Yes for the honesty. Yes for trying to tackle your sadness. Yes for being so f-ing funny.

    (The psyche vase-throwing? I cramped with instant metaphor jealousy. Wished I had thought of that one!!)

    I’m with aibee regarding the pill. Oral contraception turns me into a cranky, cranky ball of tears and ambivalence.

    May I suggest a heartrate monitor (HRM) for your exercise? I was feeling that way about my workouts too, for a while. I could barely get the energy to do them, and after exercising, I wasn’t feeling better and I was resentful that I had wasted the time. Now I wear a HRM and I keep my HR at least over 150 for 25-40 minutes. This has made ALL the difference. Energy, happiness, yadda, yadda.

    I probably should have prefaced that suggestion with imao. (In my assinine opinion…) :)

    Feel better!

    Reply
  37. Kristin H

    My inclination is to try and make you laugh, though my jokes never seem to come through very well in written form.

    Maybe listening to loud music? Or driving really fast? Preferably the two together, for me. My husband just got himself some happy pills and it has worked *wonders*. He was mad and grumpy for 2 months straight before that. Good luck…I hope it passes soon.

    Reply
  38. HalynB

    Ooh, I second the heart rate monitor. I work out a lot better with one, and I feel that high/sense of accomplishment a lot more when I can look at it and see that I burned 500 calories.

    Reply
  39. Anonymous

    Well, if this makes you feel aaaany better (it probably won’t, but worth a shot!) I myself have been feeling like an absolute MONSTER the last few days for no apparant reason, and so reading this post and the comments made me feel a little bit better! Because it seems as though these last few days/this week have been hideous for a few people. So I feel less alone.
    But I concur, I’m in a weird mood and feeling FULL of self-pity for reasons I don’t quite understand…I had about 4 or 5 items on my “HAVE to-do List” and for some reason it made me feel bogged-down and STREEEESSSSSED.
    Is there such a thing as the springtime blues??? haha

    Reply
  40. Sarah

    oops, I should’ve signed my name to that Anonymous comment a minute ago…I don’t comment often, but I’m Sarah.

    Reply
  41. Felicia

    I vote for getting a French press coffee pot. I love it so much better than my drip coffee maker, and it makes me happy every morning. Also, I make an extra pot then put the coffee in the fridge, so I have iced coffee for the next day.

    I am right there with you though. I want a third child SO BADLY but my husband is not on board at all.

    Also, I second and third the people about hormonal birth control. I was AWFUL on it, and it came on gradually too. When we switched to the Fertility Awareness Method (not the same as the old rhythm method that people make fun of so much) it was like night and day for me. Check out the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility.” Even if you end up staying on the pill it’s still an interesting read.

    Reply
  42. robin

    If I’m ever in a horrible mood/funk, and absolutely nothing seems to help (I mean, come on, shopping and alcohol usually do the trick for me, plus maybe drinking the alcohol while snuggled under a comforter while reading a good book), I think you just need to embrace the bad mood. Say to yourself, “yep, I’m in a pissy mood. I am the epitome of pissiness.” Own that bad mood. Often for me, taking some control over something that has control of me helps me out of the funk. I hope you feel better soon!

    Reply
  43. GoingLoopy

    Oooo, I was eyeballing that multi-flowers ring before clearance, may have to go back to Target & investigate.

    And I hear you on the shitty mood lately, sister, but have no advice. I’ve been trying to cure mine through Amazon.com, but so far, it’s not working. Maybe it’s time to bust out the dried chocolate cherries? :)

    Reply
  44. Anonymous

    OMG! That is all I have to say, because I also had a dream that I was pregnant with a boy (for some reason my dumbass dream self wanted to name him Sebastian), and I am dealing with the sometimes-I-want-one-more issue as well. Hang in there, and liquor can be your friend at times like this!

    Reply
  45. Kim

    I wonder if some unseen malaise funk is going around because you just described in great detail how I’ve been feeling for the last month or so.
    I am going to see my niece next week though I and I know that’s going to be like a big dose of Happy Pill.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.