Please Send Tranquilizers Kthanx

I am feeling frazzled and agitated and wish-I’d-said this morning. You may remember awhile back my phone victory where I finally, finally, finally made Rob the two appointments he needed: an orthodontic evaluation and, right before it, a thorough dental cleaning for his embarrassingly plaquey teeth. AND I made both appointments for early morning so he would only miss half a day of school, and then I arranged for my mom to watch the three littles so I wouldn’t have to sit for 2-3 hours in waiting rooms telling three small children not to lick the furniture.

Those two appointments were for this morning, and yesterday afternoon the dentist’s office called and said they had to reschedule because the hygienist had called in sick. What I SHOULD have said is, “I’m sorry, that’s impossible: I’ve arranged childcare for three small children, AND I specifically scheduled this appointment to be BEFORE his orthodontist appointment.”

But—how would that have affected reality? The hygienist would still be sick (or FAKING). Still, I wish I’d said it, because OMG MY LIFE IS NOW TOTALLY RUINED. My mom can’t babysit at this new time, and so I have to bring all three kids. The dentist appointment is now AFTER the orthodontist appointment, which makes no sense. And the timing/spacing of the appointments means he’ll have to miss the whole day of school. And all this after I had it SO CAREFULLY PLANNED.

I suppose I could have said no to the dentist, then called to cancel the orthodontist, then called the school to let them know Rob WOULD be there in the morning after all. But I couldn’t face having to make the appointments all over again when it was so hard the first time (for phone phobia reasons but mostly because it’s tricky to find two consecutive appointments with two unconnected offices), and also it wasn’t fair to the orthodontist, and also it would be EMBARRASSING since I had assured the orthodontist’s office not two hours earlier than we would be there, and anyway the odds of the two appointments being at a time when my mom could babysit were nearly nil, so if I’m bringing the kids with me I might as well get it over with.

Worse yet, I was planning that we could at least go to Wendy’s for lunch while we were out, but I’m reading Andrew Weil’s Eating Well for Optimum Health, and I just finished the section on fats, and basically he says that if you eat fast food you might as well give yourself an IV of wet radioactive cement. So that kind of puts a damper on things.

32 thoughts on “Please Send Tranquilizers Kthanx

  1. Slim

    I have baked some tranquilizers into a batch of brownies (made with organic butter and the Good Chocolate and Good Vanilla) and dissolved a few more into some organic cream. Am brewing a carafe of organic coffee and hunting around for that flavored syrup.
    I’ll send it ASAP: “Swistle / Somewhere in the Midwest, I think.”
    Good luck, Young Swistle! Our thoughts are with you– thoughts such as “Boy, I wonder if they’re done yet” and “Glad I’m not doing that today.”
    Our appointment (filling and extraction) is Thursday.

    Reply
  2. Amanda

    YIKES! My phone phobia would have kicked right in and I would have taken it too. I hope your day doesn’t turn out to be as sucktastic as you are now expecting it to.

    My word verification was “gogray” While your situation could certainly make me go gray I have a little box with my name on it that will prevent that.

    Reply
  3. MoMMY

    You can mention to the dentist’s office staff that had they kept the original appointment your children wouldn’t be hanging from the light fixtures now. Oh wait, is that just my kids when they were little?

    Reply
  4. Fran

    Ultimately there wasn’t much you could do about the dentist. I would totally mention something about the 3 little would not have been there at the original time though! Do you have a DVD player in your vehicle? Or a portable DVD player at all? If so you could use it entertain the littles. For example having them watch something they like in the waiting room, or perhaps even in your car?

    Reply
  5. Joanne

    If I have to bring my little kids because of something THE DENTIST did, I encourage them to behave as badly as possible and then I shrug my shoulders helplessly if I get any looks. I’m sorry it went down like that, after you did all that arranging. I am mad on your behalf.

    Reply
  6. TheGoriWife

    Once, at a scheduled dentist appointment, the hygienist was unavailable and the DENTIST actually cleaned my teeth. Not that I would have done anything differently, I share in your phone phobia also. But I also get hand-wringy and that little tidbit of information would help me to continue hand-wringing even longer. So, wait – why am I leaving this comment? To further your hand wringing with yet another possible alternative path that neither you nor I would have pursued so that you can think about this unpleasantness even longer? Well that’s not very nice. That’s not what I was planning for my comment. Sorry to be such a jerk.

    Reply
  7. Bethsix

    Oh, I so sympathize, with all of the above, down to the phone phobia and oldest son with the overly plaquey teeth and need for orthodontic evaluation. So sorry.

    I hear Andrew Weil’s book is good, but I don’t want to give up my radioactive IVs.

    Reply
  8. jiveturkey

    Aw, man. I would have done the same thing (bent over and taken it from the dentist’s office). My husband, however, is always quick on the draw to say things like, “I’m sorry, that’s unacceptable.” And you know what? You’d be AMAZED at how easily people are able to accommodate you when they realize you aren’t just going to eat what they’re feeding you. Perhaps I should loan Brad out to you the next time this happens?

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  9. DCMomma

    Yes, next time say I’m sorry that won’t work. My ob’s office would always try to reschedule appts, and I had to explain I had moved my schedule around just to make that appt. Sending lots of brownies via internet to swistle. You are so strong!

    Reply
  10. missris

    Oh God, I can’t read stuff like that. It just gets too overwhelming for me. I try to eat a fruit and a veggie a day and you know what, sometimes I NEED Wendy’s nuggets. Anyway, I’m sending tranquilizing thoughts across the interwebs! Good luck!

    Reply
  11. artemisia

    Oy. Everytime I read books like that I get all twitchy and freaked out. The grocery store will send me into panic attacks. True story.

    That sucks about the dentist appointment. I would think if the dentist knew it was an appointment for a child they would follow that logic through that there are many, many nuances to that scheduled appointment and would say, assign another hygienist to the child? Irritating.

    You will get through the day. And you can at least get a chocolate Frostie.

    Reply
  12. Alice

    haha i’m with missris. i KNOW that stuff is horrible for me, i don’t need to read a book that will tell me EXACTLY HOW HORRIBLE it is. i can’t give up all bad food forever, it’s just not going to happen. therefore i’d rather remain ignorant and slightly happier :-)

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  13. Jess

    Ooh, this sucks. I probably would have said something but I bet it wouldn’t have helped, AND I think you are totally right with all your reasons why saying something wouldn’t have been worth it. I say damn the man, pretend you haven’t started reading that book yet, and go to Wendy’s!

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  14. cindy kay

    If the sooty lungs of smokers can clean themselves up after a period of no smoking, then I think ONE Wendy’s meal won’t kill you. Like Jess said, go for it!

    Reply
  15. Leah

    Oh I have so been there. Recently. The 20 wk ultrasound for this 3rd kid was made at the perfect time for the lawyer husband to be able to come and help with the other two kids. Then it turned out the midwife office scheduled it for a different month and so I had to do it the next month. So then my husband couldn’t come, my daughter missed a cool play at preschool, I had to deal with both kids and a 30 minute ultrasound by myself while they were both crying and throwing things – it was really freaking awesome. I wish the the consequences of these scheduling issues fell on the actual people who were at fault…

    Reply
  16. Lisa

    That’s exactly why I don’t read books such as “Eating Well for Optimum Health.” Sometimes it’s better to just bury my head in the sand … or the french fry container.

    Good luck with the scheduling snafu. That stinks!

    Reply
  17. Brooke

    Swistle, I’m so sorry. I don’t get anxious on the phone, but reading your post, I really felt your frustration. I have only one little (and three bigs), and keeping just him from licking the furniture is bad enough. I hope the Barf Fairy’s good half-sister, the Well-Behaved Children Fairy, visits you today.

    Reply
  18. Kate's Crazy Life

    That’s a great book! I read it years ago and have pulled it off the shelf to add to my “Read” pile as I want to re-read it now that I’m delving deeper into the whole nutrition thing. But I remember really liking it.

    As far as dentists go, this is why I specifically picked a pediatric dentist – so that they would be used to crazed children in the waiting room. And as it is, they have a waiting room full of toys, books and an old pac-man game. Perfect.

    Which reminds me…I need to call and make appointments for the munchkins.

    Reply
  19. Penny

    Well that radioactive cement sure does hit the spot once in a while. I don’t FEEL dead.

    I don’t remember the orthodontist really picking through my teeth, so the ortho may not notice (much). It’s more like examining the jaw and teeth and making an impression, at which point somebody (I think) comes and cleans rob’s teeth in prep for that anyway.

    Reply
  20. Miss M

    How totally crappy. Sorry, my dear. And while fast food is always soothing in situations like these, I can guarantee that you will feel much more virtuous and digestively sound if you forgo it.

    Reply
  21. Kristi

    People without multiple littles don’t get how horribly HORRIBLE that is. But oh how I get it. And I shall now make my coffee an irish one on your behalf!

    (sidenote: my word verification – ‘frettr’ ha!)

    Reply

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