I’m always, like, “Hey, let’s talk about this!” and then I get everyone’s input and I make my decision and I never mention it again because it’s not on my mind anymore. Let’s see which threads I’ve left loose.
The Scale. I ordered the one Jess recommended, the Newline Well Balance. It’s supposed to arrive tomorrow.
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The Toddler. I cannot even describe how scattered and distracted I continue to be. It’s not just Henry, who has added biting, smacking, and lashing-out-with-a-fork to his repertoire. I feel like I am the CENTER of a WHEEL, and ALL SPOKES LEAD TO ME. EVERYONE has to talk to ME, so each of THEM is having ONE conversation but I am having FIVE. It is NO WONDER my mind feels like a metaphor for something else.
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End-of-Year Teacher Gifts. I had the kids write their usual “What I remember about this school year” letters. I also contributed $5 to a collection taken up by the room mother for one teacher’s gift.
As always when I do these teacher gift posts, I am simultaneously so grateful for and so sorry for some of the input I get about teacher gifts from teachers. On one hand, I can imagine how frustrating the gifts can be, and I think it’s good to point out that if _I_ only like one in twenty fragrances at Bath & Body Works and find ALL the others BARFY, the odds of choosing a good one for a teacher are slim. I also think it’s good to remember that in general, it’s good to buy a gift for a teacher as if the teacher were a REAL PERSON, someone who would prefer Good Chocolate to Chocolate-Flavored Candy just like the rest of us would.
On the other hand, I am almost flattened with discouragement hearing about baked goods thrown directly into the trash, non-giftcards referred to as “useless junk” or “crap gifts,” and the term “even as little as $10” (as if $10 is a tuppence, merely a thought that counts) brought up ANYWHERE AT ALL. In fact, I find those comments lead me to this train of thought:
1. It really is unfortunate that teachers get so much stuff they don’t want/need.
2. It’s too bad the gifts can’t be merely Representative Tokens of Appreciation (the way Teacher Appreciation Week is representative of the entire year), and that the teachers can’t compensated in some OTHER way for the work that they do, perhaps by their EMPLOYERS, perhaps with CURRENCY so that they could buy what they DO want/need.
3. OH WAIT.
So here’s what I’m doing:
* $10 or $15 Target giftcards (one per classroom teacher—nothing for assistant teachers, art teachers, music teachers, gym teachers, computer teachers, secretaries, directors, principals, assistant principals, student teachers, room mothers, cleaning staff, cafeteria workers, lawn maintenance team, head of the PTA, because OH MY BEEZUS THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS) at Winter Holiday
* a letter from the child at end-of-year, telling the teacher all the things they remember/liked during the school year
* a Target giftcard for the bus driver: $10 per child of mine riding her bus
* throughout the year, contributing disinfecting wipes, boxes of tissues, baked goods (I hope they’re not thrown away when they’re specifically requested), paper towels, hand soap, disinfecting hand gel, Box Tops for Education, and anything else the teacher or PTA requests during the year for the school and for school events
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Well, now I’m all distracted by teacher gifts and am no longer in the mood to discuss pens, or clerks who think it’s okay to reprimand my child, or the recent failures of muffin recipes using baby food. Hee! It is the downside of reheating leftover topics!
Edit 06-23-2009: I think MOST teachers are NOT icky about teacher gifts and that it’s just a vocal minority that says those mean things that get me all anxious. I kind of wish I hadn’t posted my little rant, because I think my attack on the vocal minority comes out sounding like an attack on All Teachers. Plus, it’s the kind of post that makes people nervous because it makes indirect references: SOMEONE is in trouble, but WHO?? (And yet I don’t have anyone in particular in mind, and can’t remember who posted which comments, and just sort of came up with representative TYPES of comments from all previous teacher-gift-related posts.) Considering how much I hate such posts myself, I don’t know why I succumbed to my pique.
Oh but you SHOULD talk about the pens. I read through all the comments and promptly went out and bought the Uniball Jetstream in various versions/colors. I really like the Premier (fancy pants one- to-a-package version). In fact, I gave one to my dad (with other stuff) for Father’s Day because he always appreciates a good pen. MAYBE you could give them as TEACHER GIFTS! Oh wait…
I imagine that you are in high-demand around your house. I feel overwhelmed lots of the time with 3 kids needing things from me, I suppose that with 5 I would be totally rattled. But I refuse to believe that Swistle is anything less than SuperMom!
I like these random updates. You should make them a regular feature and call them Swiftsles (or something more dignified).
i know what you mean about the teacher gifts. i don’t even HAVE teachers to give gifts to, and i always end up getting frustrated by the end of the comments on those posts all “WELL GOSH NO MATTER WHAT I GIVE SOMEONE WILL HATE IT GAAAH HARUMPH.”
i guess the thought is what *sort of* counts..?
Well, I was a teacher (and may be again at some point) and while I understand that after 20 years you might be tired of apple decor, I would never turn my nose up at bath stuff or fancy chocolate or home-baked goods. I just love getting gifts–and the letters are priceless. And I still have some things (like a mug) that a student gave me 10 years ago.
That said, I did gift cards plus baked stuff for Christmas, and Miss Pink wanted to give her teacher flowers at the end of the year. I gave $5 toward the class gift, and later heard that the mom who made it (it was a photo quilt) spent over $200. It made me feel guilty, but I didn’t have enough money to give more. It’s not like I chose something that expensive, right?
Wow that is one crazy-long list of gift cards!
I teach high school, so rarely get anything. I did get a pizza gift certificate once and it was great appreciated. Also some teacher post-its, which I loved. I can’t imagine ever getting TOO MANY gifts. And would never think a single gift was junk.
I hope it wasn’t I who said “as little as $10” which I might say as a self-conscious thing because I give gift cards just that TINY.
:0)
Can’t imagine the five-part conversation thing. I find it draining with two. They just talk and talk and talk sometimes, not even really caring if I listen!
I know a few teachers and they don’t turn up their nose at any gifts. They’re just happy to be appreciated. Seriously. So, to those teachers: be grateful! She’s trying to do something nice for you!!
OMG! That would really irk me too (re: the teacher’s appreciation gifts). No wonder you don’t feel like talking about anything else.
We were very disappointed in the Monkey’s teacher this year, and did not have much to celebrate come the end of the year so we didn’t do anything. No only that, but the Monkey only just finished Kindergarten last month and we had no idea I was supposed to (or at least should have thought about) get his teacher something.
I guess I have something to think about for next year.
I would like to hear more about the clerk reprimanding your child though – I think it was crossing a HUGE line.
You know, I just thought of the most appreciated teacher gift card in our household (hubby is a 14 year teaching vetern) – gas gift cards! Feel free to tuck that away for Christmas. :)
Cheapo gift idea for teachers–the good smelling hand sanitizer from Bath and Body Works. Even if you don’t love the smell, it’s better than the smell of germ-x and I’ve never met a teacher who didn’t need some hand sanitizer.
I’ve also been known to give squares of ghiardelli from an assorted bag and cans of starbucks from target.
As a former teacher(in an affluent school) and now as a parent who has kids with teachers, I find it insulting that parents who put down a minimum of $10-$20 for a tip on one meal- a one hour experience- don’t consider doing something appreciative for a teacher who spends more time with children than the parents do. I did appreciate the nice notes from parents and the idea of your kids writing notes sounds wonderful. The notes I received I still have and look over them from time to time.
Oh God, I am so embarrassed on behalf of teachers everywhere to hear that you are stressing about gifts. As you point out, WE GET PAID, HELLO. There is no need for gifts. If a parent chooses to get/make something, anything, it is SO SWEET. People who complain about gifts are rude/ungrateful/overly-entitled.
Hmmph.
Must know about the pens! Please report back when revived!
I sometimes find it a little humorous that teachers are complaining about the gifts they get …
I’m a Girl Scout leader — and trust me, the parents certainly aren’t scratching their heads thinking of what to get us at the end of the year – zip, zilch, nada. In fact, I can count on one hand the number of parents that have even thanked me after spending all year planning and working with their girls – and obviously we’re volunteers. I don’t do it for gifts or appreciation (and I don’t have a daughter in the troop) — but it’d be nice if once in a while parents realized that teachers aren’t the only ones educating their children.
In my “centre of the wheel” diagram, I would have to add my husband. Seriously, he’s as bad as the kids! Sometimes I’ll turn the kids on each other: “Bart, talk to Maggie for a bit… mommy needs a break!”
My parents were teachers and I never remember them bad-mouthing a gift. They diligently wrote a thank-you note to each child (whether they gave a gift or not) thanking them for a wonderful year and sharing a memory with them. No wonder so many of their students still keep in touch so many years later! I did $15 gift cards for Pier 1 to the teachers, which will be placed in cards the kids have made themselves.
What Miz S said. And also – tossing out handbaked goods because ‘you just never know’? What kind of a paranoid worldview does that teacher have?!?
Miz S and Nic–I think Swistle’s recommending that teachers be paid MORE for all the work they do!
Love the flowchart.
One of my best friends is a teacher. The only thing she got a little sick of was all the apple stuff after the first couple of years, but it didn’t matter – anything she didn’t like, she had plenty of places to donate the stuff. She never knew going in that she would receive so much stuff and it shocked her.
Teachers are very hard to buy for and I just felt so BAD for the parents who felt they just HAD to buy something. I felt particularly bad because I was one of six teachers their child had and so they didn’t know me the way they might know their child’s elementary teacher. That said, I was thrilled with every gift I received, even if I thought them a tad unnecessary. And? I would have done a happy dance on top of a desk for a $10 gift card.
The letters though? Those were the best.
I think you’re appreciating the teachers perfectly! Stop worrying about it (:-D
And I too would kindly request a pen update but only when one child is talking to you.
Chin up! I’ll send you earplugs…
Not all teachers who commented were complainers! Most (including me) said that anything is appreciated, be it ever so simple, and that we aren’t in it for the tokens. Anything is appreciated and nothing at all is fine too. Support at home and a positive word to the principal here and there if a teacher has done something that sticks out would be plenty. The little things for the classroom throughout the year that you mentioned (wipes, tissues, hand gel, etc.) are great because I usually buy those out of pocket if my supply runs low. Don’t let the naysayers make you think ALL teachers critique gifts so much. I found the suggestions from other parents and teachers helpful since I’m both.
I’m a kindergarten teacher & based on the recipes you post, I would be THRILLED to have your baked goods:) Yum! Yum! My favorite gifts from students have been heart-felt letters and edibles!
I think you did great with the teacher gifts. The letters are things that teachers will keep in their desk to read when having a bad day. I know I did.
Okay two things:
First let me say that I completely understand the “all things lead to me” feeling that you are experiencing. I have two boys, ages 11 and 3, a husband who works at home, a cat who follows me everywhere wanting God knows what, and a dog who pees on everything in my house. Someone ALWAYS wants something from me and by the end of the day I don’t want anyone to speak to me. My ears are tired!
Second issue: Teacher gifts.
Okay, I was a teacher (middle and high school) and honestly, I was happy to get a gift at all. Maybe at that level teacher gifts just go by the wayside, but getting any form of recognition for doing my job, even if it was another damn coffee mug, brought a smile to my face. I really don’t think there is any room for complaint, only appreciation. ‘Nuff said.
So there you have it my two cents for what it’s worth.
Moxie Momma – http://www.moxiemomma.com
I left your post and visited Dr. Maureen, reading your “empathic” ribbing to her. And came back to say this: Imagine all five of those little circles INSIDE you. :-)
uh oh. My youngest just graduated from highschool last month, and I never, ever gave a teacher present. where the heck is that in the handbook????? no wonder why they all hated me.
I am a professor. I wish my students wanted to give me presents. I like Target gift cards and letters…send your kids to my school when they get older.
I wouldn’t stress about the EOY gifts! I am apparently in the minority, but my dad was a math teacher from the 1960s-1980s and he never got gifts. Since he got kids’ class photos and they asked for him to sign the yearbooks, I’m sure it wasn’t because he was really disliked ;) I in turn taught at pre-school and was a para-educator in a junior high during the 1990s, and none of the teachers got any gifts, either.
As for the homemade food gifts, though, I can completely understand the teacher who said she wouldn’t eat them. Absolutely. I can’t speak for the person who said that in the other thread, but I know from my own standpoint that it’s not at all a personal attack on those who give food. You just never know what an angry parent, disgruntled student, or even just a prankster might do.
If it makes you feel any better about teacher gifts – I think most teachers just appreciate being thought of and will like ANYthing you give them. It’s the thought that counts, right?
Random thing… Henry’s twin was at our park, playing with my kids last week. I was trying to figure out why the kid looked so familiar, then it hit me. makes me feel like a stalker (though I know that you don’t live in San Francisco) or that maybe I should have some real life friends?
I’m glad you got the scale! I will need an update on how you like it. (It doesn’t have to be on the blog. Email is fine!)
Re: teacher gifts, I just want to give you a hug and tell you it’ll be OK. As the kid of a teacher, I assure you your gift IS appreciated, especially the letter from the student. After 25 years, no my mother does not need any more Christmas ornaments, but if Student A did a diorama about cheetas and got really excited about it and gave her a cheetah-shaped ornament, you’d better believe that 15 years from now, she’ll still remember the student’s name.
PS — we eat ALL of the baked goods. Even though there are way too many of them. It’s part of my duty when I come home for the holidays now. ;-)
I look at teacher gifts as an investment. This person is with my child all day long for 9 months. I am extremely grateful for the care and attention they show my child each day and I want him or her to know that. If I’m going to spend money on anyone for the holidays, I can’t think of a more important person than the one taking care of my most precious possession – my child. I say skip the dollar store garbage and homemade food (because honestly, they don’t know you and people are leery about eating stuff out of other people’s kitchens) and buy a decent gift card. We all spend way too much at Christmas anyway. If you can afford it, send at least a $25 – $50 giftcard for a local restaurant or store. That will be remembered and it will be well spent money.