This morning I felt a little bad for using a Poor Tone of Voice when I said to Rob that the bathroom door was not locked. He was trying to get in, and I knew there was no one in there, so I KNEW it could not be locked. And I was right, it wasn’t, but it was stuck in such a way that he was not able to open it and it did seem locked, so it was not the right moment for my educational seminar on Logic & Reason: When a Door Can (and Cannot) Be Locked from the Inside.
If our roles had been reversed, I would have said something like, “Rob. I open that door many times a day with no problem. So if I say it’s locked, I don’t think you should jump to the conclusion that I’m suddenly for no reason unable to figure out how to open the door; I think you should assume there must be some Unusual Problem with the door.” But did I follow that very sensible advice myself? No. He opens the door many times a day with no trouble, but when he says there’s a problem I went into eye-rolling “he’s suddenly for no reason unable to figure out how to open the door” mode. NICE.
To be fair, this is a child who will repeatedly answer in the affirmative, even when I know it should be negative and am giving him plenty of opportunities to reconsider. He’ll be looking for his shoes, and I’ll say, “Did you look for them under the couch?” “Yes.” “Really, you looked under the couch?” “Yes!” “Are you sure you looked under the couch? Because I’m pretty sure I saw your shoes there earlier.” “YES! I’m SURE.” “Maybe you looked under there another time, or maybe you THOUGHT you looked under there but actually…” “I looked. under. the couch.” “Rob, look under the couch.” “*HEAVY SIGH* Okay, fine, but I DID LOOK……….Oh, HERE they are!”
We’ve even had a similar “locked door” problem with the front door, which has a tricky latch. He’ll say, “I can’t unlock the door!” and I’ll say, “It WAS unlocked—now you’ve locked it!” And he’ll say, “No, I turned the latch the other way and NOW it’s locked,” and I’ll say, “No, it isn’t, just turn the knob harder,” and he’ll say, “NO, it’s……oh.”
Rob once told me that his favorite thing was to say something back to someone else until they ran out of things to say and he won. Way to tip your hand, buddy. And also: NO KIDDING.
HA HA on Rob’s favorite activity. I’m still super amused that my little nephew doesn’t know enough to TELL A FIB to cover himself.
I go in and see my girl hand on her head, crying and I see my nephew with a toy in his hand and I say, ‘did you take that toy from the baby?’ and he says, ‘No.’ and then I say, ‘did you hit the baby with that toy?’ and he say, ‘Yes.’
Super amusing.
I wish I was always capable of taking the high road – using a calm tone and being logical when explaining things. I usually just end up screeching or yelling or something in between.
“Way to tip your hand, Buddy.”
HA!
haha! I find a TONE to my voice lately that I don’t care for all that much.
I am shopping for a ‘new tone’. The screamching one that came with my voice is wearing thin, even on me. Why do I have to scream, lose patience and be self righteous right off the bat every.single.time?? Do I get it from MY mother? (answer:yes!) Well I want to break the cycle!
Here’s to more patience! less self righteousness!! Better listening!!!
And finding child (il)logic endearing…grumble..grumble..eye roll…
I see these sorts of exchanges in my future as Harper is Queen of Stubbornland. The TONE gets the best of me with unfortunate frequency.
Seminars on logic are a good thing, though. Torsten grew up overreacting to things, and everyone chuckled about how cute it was, and now he still does it. If he can’t find his keys within 0.3 seconds of looking for them, he announces that they are lost and stolen. And he kind of means it.
The New Girl- I love this, too. The twins will even act as if they’re pleased with me for correctly guessing. Wow, neat trick, Mommy!
Crystal- I love “the one that came with my voice”! Ha ha! Me too! Factory-installed!
Jess Loolu- Ha! Yes. Paul’s parents thought it was funny if he said he’d do something and then didn’t follow through. Like, they’d tell him to mow the lawn and he’d say okay, and then he’d wander off with a book, and they’d say “Awwww!” and go mow the lawn for him. THANKS A LOT, IN-LAWS.
Haha on the tip your hand thing. Pie just tipped hers yesterday – she was crying and I tried to comfort her, so she said, “But I want to keep crying so I can have a soother!” (aka pacifier)
It’s so true that I come down hard (mostly on my son); and if the situation were reversed, I’d have to lecture him for jumping to conclusions or not thinking through. I don’t know why I qualified for motherhood.
My stepkids, 8 and 11, have no concept of “locked”. If a door won’t open, it is merely because they are not shoving/rattling it HARD ENOUGH!
Also, my stepson (the 11 year old) loves that game that Rob likes. Gah!
Good lord Swistle, that sounds EXACTLY like verbatim conversations that I have with my son! He’s only 5 yet I routinely look for ways to “trip him up” conversationally so he’ll quit the debating (whether he’s right or not). I laughed right out loud at your last sentence describing his fav activity – he will make an excellent attorney one day.
I love these glimpses into each individual child!
Love Rob. He’s going to be an attorney. Or in SALES.