Siblings

One thing I found impossible to imagine when I had a toddler and a newborn and was melting with despair because I wanted more children but didn’t see how I could POSSIBLY manage more when I was ALREADY at MAX CAPACITY for this crap—-one thing I found impossible to imagine, as I say, was that the toddler and newborn would be OLDER than the new siblings. I was imagining adding MORE OF THE SAME, daycare-style.

This morning I was already up to HERE with Henry’s angry fussing and it was only 7:45 in the morning. I was mashing him a banana and I wasn’t even engaging with him anymore because I was discouraged and also kind of crabby with him for being crabby so much recently.

And then Rob came in and said to Henry, “Oh! Are you SAD? Oh, no! Why?” Then he said to me, “Have you seen an ORANGE BALL around here?” I said I didn’t think so. He elaborated, showing me the ball’s approximate size and describing more accurately the shade of orange (“bright”). I again said I didn’t think so, and asked (a little impatiently, if truth must be told, but I don’t see why we need the WHOLE truth) why we were looking for this ball. He said, “It’s Henry’s FAVORITE.” I suggested it might be in the playroom and he went rocketing off, coming back with the ball. “HERE you go, Henry! Here’s your BALL! Your FAVORITE ball!”

Then Elizabeth came in, and because we once told her to go sing the ABC song to a crying Henry, she thinks that’s what she should do EVERY time, so she launched into a vigorous rendition, really DELIVERING that song, ballpark-style.

Then Rob said, “Oh, no WONDER! Your NOSE is running!” and went rocketing off again to get a kleenex, which he used to wipe Henry’s nose.

Then William came bouncing in to tell me that Edward was getting into trouble in the living room, and on his way out he offered Henry a bite of his cereal.

Hm. Reading this over, I see a story of CHAOS, not of happy and helpful sibling relationships. You will have to trust me: this is a reassuring story about happy and helpful sibling relationships.

a little boy and a baby lying on their stomachs smiling

48 thoughts on “Siblings

  1. jen

    That picture of henry and edward is too sweet, and the last one just cracks me up!

    This is why I tell people that it’s easier w/more than one kid. Because they will always do those things, and the baby is way more receptive to them, than he would be if *I* was doing those things. And with more than one kid, I don’t HAVE to do those things hahahaaaaaa

    And I had a comment that worded that all so much better, but blogger ate it. Maybe you got it in email anyway and are laughing at me.

    Reply
  2. samantha jo campen

    Oh no, I TOTALLY got the sibling relationship part. No chaos at all.

    What a wonderful thing you get to experience.

    Would your children like to come over and entertain Theo when HE’S fussing? Please and thank you.

    Reply
  3. caley

    What sweet brothers and sister! They have given me some hope that the Hell Dimension will pass and lead to brighter (albeit more chaotic) days.

    Reply
  4. Marie Green

    Henry is getting so big! I want hime to still be a tiny, tiny, baby.

    My older two ARE helpful with our “baby”, but sometimes that quickly turns sour, like when she’s fussing in the high chair, and I’m scrambling to get her some food and they ask her “Are you all done? Do you want down?” and I want her to eat, but they’ve talked her into playing and *sigh*…

    We are still mastering the art of “helpful”, is what I’m saying.

    Reply
  5. Mimi

    Oh I love this post, Swistle. It makes me want to have several more children too. The pictures are so sweet… what a cute bunch of blondies you have!

    Reply
  6. Bunny

    Alright, you’ve convinced me. I’ll have my third. You totally and accurately put into words how I’ve been feeling about whether or not to have a third: it seems like adding more of the same daycare-style. But, you are right, it is not the same, and when I look at the relationship my two have, there is no reason not to have another!

    Reply
  7. mn

    that is the sweets. my six yr old saw the pictures and said if i had a baby (sibling) i would take care of it like them (as in the kids in your pictures) he loves babies.
    i see all the time, kids reacting and playing with babies in grocery carts, at the mall, helping to engage them and take care of them and it just warms my heart.
    good for the. thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  8. Anonymous

    I’ve been trudging along feeling absolutely burnt out, and wondering if I was going to have to draw the line at three children despite wanting more… and then I saw that wonderful shot of all your kids playing together and thought, “That’s what I want in my house!” Not that they’re always like that, but it seems worth the headaches for the moments you described in words and in pictures. Thanks.

    — Mairzy

    Reply
  9. raisingtheboys

    Oh my God these pictures made me cry and yearn to untie my tubes. I know how much I like when my older makes any kind of generous (you know, generous for a 3yr old is replacing a toy that he just stole) gesture to the younger.

    Reply
  10. JK

    Tell me what a morning without chaos is? Heh. I loved your post. My oldest can ALWAYS cheer up the baby. Sometimes it gets rather noisy as she does, but it is a thing of beauty. If I were 5 years younger I could see having one more… But I’m old and tired and it’s all I can do to keep up with 3. :-)

    Reply
  11. Misty

    That is AWESOME.

    Also. Not to detract from the awesomeness, (because I really love this post and think it is great!) but do they ever fight?

    Reply
  12. Stacie

    That sounds so incredibly sweet. I love it when my two take care of each other. It’s just so awesome to see their relationship and how much they love each other.

    Reply
  13. Farrell

    Actually, I just posted and ended with, “Seriously how DO people have more than one kid?” and then I read this and I thought, “Oh yeah! that’s why!” :)

    Reply
  14. Kristi

    That is awesome! Makes me want to have more (I think I may need a lobotomy first, but that’s neither here nor there).

    I LOVE your new tagline.

    Reply
  15. Tessie

    OH!! AHH!!

    I love your kids. SO. MUCH. SO EFFING MUCH. Even had to use pseudo-cussword there. That’s how much.

    Great PICTURES too! So awesome.

    Reply
  16. LoriD

    Your kids are so cute together. I read it as reassuring, not chaotic.

    My guys are the same. While it often seems chaotic, it’s just awesome when they all play together, or when the “big” guys tend to the baby.

    Reply
  17. Cass

    I don’t know if it’s possible to ovulate while pregnant but this post made me want to make lots of loving siblings for this baby girl.

    Reply
  18. Mommy Daisy

    I totally hear what you’re saying. I keep trying to explain this concept to my husband when talking him into having more (and more and more) kids. I tell him they start to help each other as they get older.

    Your children are so beautiful!

    Reply
  19. "Constance-1-M"

    I see you quietly whispering to my ovaries to get over their lazyness and work already.

    Don’t think I don’t hear you “squeeeee”ing all the way in my apartment.

    I know you posted those pics just to torture me with thoughts of multiple children playing happily together.

    Ok maybe it worked. Just a little. Maybe I could consider this whole “more kids” idea.

    Maybe.

    And the big kids with the baby kid … that’s just torture woman!! LOL

    Reply
  20. Amy

    Oh, how cute! I love the photos. Your children sound delightful, even though I’m sure they have their days, like everyone else.

    Reply
  21. The Gori Wife

    I’ve used this post many, many times since I first read it to reassured soon-to-be-second time mommies, and I still love it today! If you see someone google-ing “Swistle second baby siblings not that bad” or the like, you should know that it’s probably me again!

    Reply
  22. Swistle

    TGW, how FUN! I had forgotten about this post but came back and read it again because of your comment, and it’s so weird to see my kids looking so much younger!

    Reply
  23. Dr. Maureen

    Swistle, how could you forget about this post? This post is all I have to hang onto sometimes! You should add it to your “For easy reference” links, because I reference it frequently.

    Reply

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