Back From the Barfing Wars

I am back from the Barfing Wars—or at least I am on my way home from them. Last recorded barf was early this morning, and it was produced by a child who’d had very little to eat the entire day before, and since then she’s pinkened up and eaten a good lunch (without barfing) and is looking a lot better. Paul is back to work today, Rob and I are feeling better, Edward hasn’t barfed since that first time, William and Henry never got it at all.

While I was awake in the middle of Sunday night, resting my face on the insufficiently-cool bathroom floor and wondering whether I’d barf next or Rob would or Elizabeth would, or whether perhaps the baby might barf all over his crib, my main thought was, “I don’t think I can go through another pregnancy.” You know how when you’re not sick, you think it’s pretty bad to be sick, but when you ARE sick you can’t believe how bad it feels? I think this is why sometimes people say “flu” when what they have is a cold, and why sometimes they say “migraine” when what they have is a headache: it just feels SO BAD, and words like “cold” and “headache” don’t cover it—either for the sufferer or for the employer/spouse who is expected to sympathize and make accommodations.

When I was feeling queasy and weak, it brought back to me so strongly the first three months of pregnancy and how it feels like that THE WHOLE TIME. I remember being in the first trimester with Henry and thinking there’d be an upside to miscarriage. That thought SHOCKS me now, truly shocks me. But when I felt so sick and queasy and knew I had at least two more months of it, it seemed perfectly reasonable, perhaps even preferable.

I feel a little flattened by those thoughts now, because I REALLY WOULD like another baby, and it seems crazy to be dissuaded by a little short-term NAUSEA, and yet. Well. It just feels SO BAD. So bad! Stomach flu for 2-1/2 months! And yet here I am in the daylight, feeling better, looking at the Henry I got out of it (GOOD TRADE), and it’s hard to imagine how bad it felt.

Well. Let’s see. Other news. Oh yes! I’d paid for that fabric-protection stuff they offer you when you buy a new piece of upholstered furniture, mostly because I was too shy to say no, and so I called about the recliner Edward barfed on at the beginning of this whole ordeal. They sent someone out this morning, and (1) he was cute, and (2) he was non-scary, or as non-scary as any Stranger In My House can be, and (3) he made that recliner look nearly BRAND-NEW. I won’t know how good a job he did on the smell until the sun hits the fabric sometime this afternoon, but I might have to get my furniture cleaned from time to time now that I’ve seen how nice it looks. I wonder how much it costs? If I weren’t such a SAD WIMP, I would have asked him while he was here and he probably could have done our other recliner (a golden color that looks grubby now) at the same time. But I AM a sad wimp, and so here I am with one gorgeous recliner and one grubby.

36 thoughts on “Back From the Barfing Wars

  1. jonniker

    There are few things as physically miserable as having the barfies. Honestly, I have legitimately wished for death, so I am not the least bit surprised by the miscarriage pleas. I have BEGGED for God to just LET ME DIE ALREADY so that I don’t have to endure another barfy spell.

    Props for getting through it. Seriously.

    Reply
  2. Gina

    I completely understand your feelings about the “morning” sickness. I had it for 4 1/2 months for my first pregnancy and the entire time for my second – complete with barfing and 25+ lb weight loss from test day to the day before the birth.

    Reply
  3. Tessie

    I strongly disapprove of the entire concept of pregnancy nausea, because I cannot BELIEVE that it is really necessary for us to be THAT SICK to protect the baby. I won’t eat any tainted food! Pinky swear, Mother Nature! You don’t have to BRING ME TO MY KNEES on a daily basis. Total overkill.

    Reply
  4. Jen

    I feel so bad for women who get morning sickness! I never got it (don’t hate me, girls), and feel So Very Fortunate. Because barfing sucks.

    Stanley Steemer (carpet cleaner here and there, too?) cleans furniture. Just a thought.

    Reply
  5. Jess

    Normally your posts make me want to have kids. I will have to bookmark this one and come back to it and read it whenever I’m tempted to have a baby NOW NOW NOW even though I know now is not the time.

    Reply
  6. LoriD

    Ooooh… a professionally cleaned recliner! Our living room furniture is in desparate need of cleaning, but Homer always asks why we would bother when the kids will just wreck it again. Nice attitude, eh?

    But, why didn’t you ask when cute/not scary guy was there? Were you afraid that the price would be too high, then you would have to break cute guy’s heart?

    Reply
  7. Kristin....

    I agree with Jonniker. Remember the nasty virus that went around last winter? I got it, 37 1/2 weeks pregnant with the twins. I was up sick for 6 hours straight. Then the contractions kicked in and I went to the hospital. And spent the day there. And didn’t come home with babies. I had to wait a week. All because of the barfies.
    And migraines SUCK. having one right now. Makes me wish for the barfies at the moment.
    Glad you all survived. We all just have bronchitis and am thankful for that.

    Reply
  8. brenna

    I totally understand. It took me five years to decide to have a third baby, because of how sick I was with my second baby. And it was just as horrible as I feared it would be, as I seem to get sicker with every pregnancy. So awful. You can’t help thinking terrible thoughts, and then you feel even worse for thinking those things.

    Reply
  9. Maggie

    Glad to hear that things are on the up side; you are right, there is nothing worse than nausea and barf.

    But a professionally cleaned recliner? Now THAT is something that I am jealous of!

    Reply
  10. Saly

    Speaking from the perspective of having a husband whose home based business in carpet cleaning (which encompasses furniture), cleaning furniture is quite expensive because it’s a pain in the ass. I can’t even get him to clean our sofas and they look horrible.

    I’m glad the barfing is (hopefully) over. I was just thinking this morning about how sick I was at the beginning of this pregnancy and how I said I just didn’t think that I could do it again. But now I feel like I totally could, but it’s because I’m completely out of it. Perspective is a funny thing.

    And P.S. thanks for your comment—you are always so helpful, and great and awesome.

    Reply
  11. AndreAnna

    I think the entire world must be barfing at the same time.

    Glad everyone is on the up and up.

    Can the fabric guy come and fabric protect MY WHOLE HOUSE?

    Reply
  12. moo

    barfing is DEFINITELY something I do not ever want to do, never never never.

    I was another lucky one who never got a single day of m/s, so I know that when I get preggers again, I will be sick EVERY F’ING DAY. That’s karma, ladies.

    Reply
  13. Don Mills Diva

    There is nothing more discouraging than feeling physically sick – it’s easy to forget just how bad it is when we are well…glad to hear you’re feeling a little better.

    Reply
  14. the new girl

    I was so sick for my whole pregnancy that I can easily imagine those kinds of thoughts.

    For my whole life I’ve always wanted my MOM when I got sick. Funny. And when I’m sick, I always have this thought that I can’t believe how WELL everyone else feels. They just go about their days, going to work and eating and everything. Weird.

    Reply
  15. Kelsey

    I will be so happy for you if the barfing has passed! What a nightmare that is, for us, and for the kiddos.

    I am excited about the results you had with your chair. We were thinking we should probably get our furniture cleaned before we bring Michael home because it’s been years and we let the dog on it. Your results make me feel like, yes, that would be a good idea.

    Reply
  16. jen

    I want another kid, but then I think about having FOUR barfing small children and my head starts to hurt.

    Also, I got some kind of omg-I-am-going-to-barf bug in the middle of my last pregnancy, and I remember laying there, thinking, wuss, buck up, what are you gonna do in labor? And thinking it was just too awful and that I’d have a nervous breakdown if it was that bad, but honestly I think being in labor is easier than a barfing/headache illness. How sad is that?

    Reply
  17. Swistle

    Lori D- It’s pure awkwardness/shyness. I don’t know how to ask it casually, and I always choose the wrong way. So in a situation like this, I would either somehow manage to sound like I was asking him to clean the second chair for free, or else I would accidentally agree to pay WAY MORE than I wanted to for him to clean it. And then it always feels to me like there isn’t a Good Time to ask. See? AWKWARDNESS.

    Reply
  18. skiplovey

    Posts like this, particularly your posts, make me feel like such a wimp when I complain about caring for one baby. I cannot imagine how you deal with 5 kids. Especially when they’re/you’re puking. I am such a mess when it comes to nausea. Thankfully the morning sickness thing was pretty mild for me.

    Reply
  19. Woman with a Hatchet

    I’m sorry you were sick! The barfing sucks.

    I’m currently sick – no barfing though. Instead I have Influenza B. And you know? It really IS all that bad. No barf, though. So I suppose there’s an upside.

    Reply
  20. Stimey

    I hope there is not a recurrence of the barfing wars.

    Perhaps the only good thing about being sick is how good it feels when you are NOT sick again.

    There’s a short window of appreciation.

    Reply
  21. Sam

    Barfing is my least favorite thing in the world. Really. You have my sympathy, just buckets of it. I, too, most fortunately did not have morning sickness and was deeply grateful – otherwise I would have been totally wimping out and telling God that I took it back, who wants a baby?

    Reply
  22. Swistle

    Tessie- I agree: Mother Nature has gotten OUT OF HAND. Something should be done.

    SaLy- I’m going to pretend to myself that the price he would have quoted me would have been so high I would have said no anyway. That will make me feel better about being such a WUSS.

    Kristin C.- Ha ha! No, I think you were VERY SPECIFIC to the universe, weren’t you? About not ACTUALLY getting sick? This is totally the universe’s fault.

    Stimey- SO TRUE. All yesterday I was waltzing around going, “I feel GREAT! I can walk without feeling that tired-muscle feeling! I can eat food! What could be better than feeling WELL? I’ll never complain again!” Today I’m back to taking it for granted.

    Opus #6 & Sara- OH GOOD. I feel like such an idiot explaining my inexplicable wimpiness. It feels GREAT to find kindred spirits!

    Reply
  23. Erin

    Oh Swistle. Oh. I don’t know how you DO it. How do you survive multiple barfing-ness-es at the same time? You deserve a big fat medal around your neck. Or something better. Like award money.

    So, the pregnancy stuff. I hear ya. TOTALLY. Not about the nausea, since I never really had that. But about the insomnia related to pregnancy. It makes the whole thing barely survivable. But then the baby at the end. I can’t get enough of the baby at the end.

    Reply
  24. Mairzy

    Sorry about the sickness.

    Understand about the pregnancy-jitters.

    Am tired of changing horrid, horrid diapers over here.

    Have not been so nice to my three children so what am I doing thinking I want a fourth one?

    Yay for a clean recliner!

    Reply
  25. Heidi D.

    I’ve only been pregnant twice, but both times I was throwing up day AND night. I was so happy to be over it after a few months.
    And when my boys start getting a fever or complaining of a tummy ache, my first thought is “oh, please don’t throw up, please don’t throw up” LOL.

    By the way… when being asked if I want to pay $20 to have my furniture protected, I always decline too. All they use is Scotchgard that comes in a can that you can buy for a couple dollars in the store.

    Reply
  26. Misty

    I am sure someone has said this already, but that was in Waiting for Birdy. The feeling so awful and thinking about the ‘upside’ to miscarriage. It is a misery to be sick. We are all just human. It doesn’t negate that we love our kids once we get them or even while we are growing them!

    Also, I love having the carpets and the furniture cleaned. They do really look new when it is done. (But I don’t like scary men in my house either, cute or otherwise. Strangers are scary!)

    Reply
  27. Jen

    i wish i could type out that rewind-y sound they use on tv right here because, another baby? what?

    not that babies aren’t snuggly and great and you aren’t totally awesome super-mom and all but wow.

    i can’t even get back *ahem* on the horse with any regularity and i have ONE baby. how? wha? jeez.

    also, feel free not to blog about it but, when you had baby #2, did you feel guilt about what baby #1 would be missing out on mommy-wise? what about subsequent kids? does that go away?

    Reply
  28. Kristin C.

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
    I am running in circles ripping my hair out as my “diet” has gone south in the last few weeks and what clothing used to be loose is now tight again and all I want to do is eat and now there are delicious pecan rolls sent straight from the devil himself to taunt me.
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

    Reply

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