Multiple Choice

Let’s say I regularly read US Weekly magazine—I am NOT saying that, but let’s say for the sake of argument I did read an issue. And let’s say I was reading an article about how very, very lucky a female celebrity felt because her husband was so kindly supportive of her goal to be as hot as humanly possible. And let’s say I was perusing her sample daily menu, NOT that I would be interested in what is probably a PACK OF LIES.

And let’s say I came to the part where she says she would normally eat Splenda-sweetened desserts, but can’t because she’s breastfeeding. Would I:

A) Assume that someone who thinks it’s genuinely helpful and supportive when her husband says things such as “Are you sure you should be eating that?” doesn’t know her skinny, well-toned ass from a hole in the ground?

B) Panic and consult Dr. Google?

C) First A, followed by a furtive version of B, followed by feeling really stupid for not sticking confidently with A?

32 thoughts on “Multiple Choice

  1. Erin

    Definitely C. But then you HAVE TO REPORT BACK.

    Or no, nevermind. I can’t wait and must consult Dr. Google myself right now. Is Splenda poisoning my breastmilk?!

    Reply
  2. jennifer

    My husband makes Splenda for a living. It’s safe.

    So A is my answer.

    Splenda has actually been around since the late 1970’s but had to go through rigorous testing by the FDA prior to it being available for mass production.

    No fretting!

    Reply
  3. tulipmom

    Give me a break! If so then Splenda is poisoning my bun in the oven, too. Splenda is perfectly safe. In fact for many people with a history of gestational diabetes, the alternative would be MUCH more dangerous.

    Reply
  4. Erin

    You know, after I hit publish on that comment, I realized that you probably wrote option “C” as a follow up and silly me just went right into Panic Mode. (Typical)

    Thanks Jennifer!

    Reply
  5. AndreAnna

    Well, let’s put it this way: If the alternative is to gain 50 pounds and get gestational diabetes, or take the risk that some FDA approved artificial sweetener may have a 0.000001% chance of harming anything – which would you (not you, Swistle, but the royal “you’) do?

    I actually carry my own splenda in the event I cannot find some in a pinch.

    P.S. I have a post up about irrational fears you might get a kick out of.

    Reply
  6. moo

    Splenda was what got me through my gestational diabetes. So since it’s more likely to pass through the umbilical cord than through breast milk, I’d have to say it was safe.

    That sentence made no sense. To sum: it’s safe.

    But thank goodness for Dr. Google, who Is All Knowing. ALWAYS go with your first instinct.

    Reply
  7. Linda

    Let’s say that I also read US Weekly every week at work and also read that same article and PUKED IMMEDIATELY. She seemed to be trying so hard to keep her husband from looking like an asshole and it did not work. Plus, he does NOT look like an Adonis. What is she smoking?!

    I noticed the Splenda comment and thought, “Huh. That doesn’t make any sense.” and then went back to exposing my breasts to near-constant communicable diseases at work. I guess I am arrogant enough to just assume other people don’t know what they’re talking about.

    Reply
  8. Kristin C.

    First…that article made me want to kill. I haven’t read US in FOR-EV-ER….but I chose to pick up last weeks issue and I’m sorry I did. AS for the Splenda…I’d run screaming to Dr. Google.

    Reply
  9. Pregnantly Plump

    I have to admit, I’m one of those people who have sworn off nutrasweet and splenda until I wean Little Elvis. My doctor wasn’t keen on it, so I stopped drinking my beloved Diet Cokes. I was always so jealous watching other pregnant women drink Diet Coke. Maybe her doctor and my doctor are friends or something.

    Reply
  10. Stacie

    Splenda?! She was afraid of SPLENDA?

    I mean, I won’t eat that crap ever since I read an interview with a scientist who develops non-sugar sweeteners and he said he wouldn’t eat them, that they ran test after test and the stuff was safe, you could feed it to rats forever and there was no problem, but the chemical structures just looked too much like cyanide for his personal taste.

    BUT, was this woman stupid? SPLENDA? She was avoiding SPLENDA?

    Reply
  11. Meegan

    I read that, too. And as a pregnant woman I scratched my head and wondered. Really? Splenda? Then I realized that I was getting my information from TRISTA, THE BACHELORETTE in US WEEKLY! Something tells me there are better sources. Duh.

    Reply
  12. Beth A.

    I think my first reaction would be that most celebrities aren’t famous for their brains. And I did a fair amount of research on Splenda when I was pregnant and decided it was safe.

    But I think my answer would be C anyway, partly because I would want to be able to point to specific pages so I could self-righteously say how right I am.

    Reply
  13. desperate housewife

    Whaaa? She thinks SPLENDA is scary? She would shudder to know that I regularly drink a cup of half caf coffee in the morning and that I eat REAL sugar on a daily basis. And yet my child seems fat and sassy and I myself am still steadily shedding the baby pounds, so, it must not be killing either of us!

    Reply
  14. MadMad

    OK, now I have to go out and get the US Weekly to see who you’re talking about. Also to Target to see if they still have all those sale things from down below. Oh well. I was going to be “bored” tomorrow anyway, what with the kids back in school and all… ;)

    Reply
  15. Linda

    Desperate Housewife,
    We’re not supposed to drink caffeine while breastfeeding? Hmmmm. This will pose a problem since I have 2 huge mugs every morning. And those ain’t no 16 oz mugs.

    Reply
  16. Penny

    I’m on the no artificial chemicals bench myself, but I agree with everyone here, celebs quoted in US weekly are not the best source of dietary know-how.

    Reply
  17. Katie

    God. I couldn’t even READ that article. I just looked at the photos and threw up in my mouth.

    I fear that woman has spent the first month of her baby’s life obsessing about HERSELF and her looks. That is jacked up. I am glad that baby isn’t a girl because…hello! Eating Disorder waiting to happen when you realize all your baby pics of yourself are with your mom in a bikini….

    And, I thought Splenda was the safest alternative to sugar! I personally think it tastes too “sweet” but I do eat/drink/partake even while I was pregnant or nursing!

    Reply
  18. Tessie

    Do you know that one of the search terms for my site yesterday was “Is it safe to eat RAW GREEN PEPPERS while pregnant?”. *Sigh* If you ask me, no one should be eating raw green peppers, EVER, but COME ON.

    Reply
  19. Alice

    haaaaa. i’m glad someone else called out that it was trista so i wouldn’t have to go look this up myself. because OBVIOUSLY i would have needed to. also: god i hate stupid people. i’m looking at you, trisa.

    Reply
  20. Vicky

    I stopped eating Splenda when pregnant because my husband was nervous but I use now when breastfeeding. I had a friend who had gestational diabetes and used throughout her pregnancy and her kid is great. I figure it can’t be that bad.

    Reply
  21. Stacie

    I drink caffeine while breastfeeding. I also drink wine. And raw milk. And I eat runny cheese. I draw the line at oysters.

    My children seem to have no issues. Of course, when they are 25 and in therapy I’m sure they’ll blame me. “I’d be FINE but my MOTHER had LATTES while she was NURSING ME, that SELFISH witch.”

    Reply
  22. She Likes Purple

    I would probably do C and not feel totally stupid for believing her because (and my husband and I are trying to get knocked up) I’ve discovered there is very little I know about childbirth and breastfeeding and raising a kid in general. Most days I’m told I have a LOT to learn. So, um, I wouldn’t be altogether surprised if some stupid Hollywood hottie knew more than me.

    Reply
  23. Miss Grace

    A, but I’ll admit that’s only because I don’t use Splenda, but I only don’t use Splenda because I don’t really care for sweets, not because I’m afraid of the toxins. :)

    Reply
  24. goingloopy

    The title of that article in Us magazine, which of course I NEVER WOULD DREAM OF EVER READING, might have been “How I Got My Body Back!” Did it go somewhere?

    Reply

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