My Boyfriend Target and I Had a Fight

Considering how often I speak of my love for Target (to the point of saying “Oh my Target” when I want to avoid taking names in vain), and considering how often I speak of their clearances and urge you to partake of them also, and considering I thought I might name one of my children “Target” in Target’s honor, and considering the way I call their competitor Suckmart/Hellmart/Lamemart and am willing to pay more money to shop at Target because I hate the alternative so much, and considering how often I have talked about going there for the therapy and the soothing Target-scented air—considering all these things I say that may have given you the idea that Target is perfect in every way, I think it is only fair that I should tell you about a bad experience I just had with them. Plus, I’m crabby about it and want to vent. And it’s the weekend, so there’s nothing else for you to read anyway.

I bought a Target brand Christmas tree last year, on clearance. I set it up this year and it gave me two vibrating electric shocks (the vibrating kind are the dangerous kind) that left me patting my hair to see if it had Einsteined. I took it the hell down (the tree, not my hair, which absorbed the shock in the same way it absorbs all light and color, pulling them down deep below the surface where they will never be seen again), and I contacted Target (remember Target? that was what I meant to talk about, not my hair), saying that I wanted to find out what my refund/replacement options were.

At first I thought Target was being their usual wonderful self, because I had an email back from them within a few hours (and this was on the weekend), begging me for more information and asking me to get back to them as soon as I could so they could help me. I had the box and everything, so I could give them every scrap of information they asked for. UPC? DCPI? Dimensions? Got it! (It’s a Target brand 7.5-foot clear-lighted pre-lit Slim Cashmere Pine, in case you were wondering.)

It appears they were only worried about lawsuits. When they found out we had sustained no injuries, they thanked me for my helpful information and dropped out of touch—no answer to my question about a refund/replacement. If they had said, “Sorry, no,” I would have been disappointed but at least I could have moved on and bought a new tree. Instead, I was stuck waiting, not wanting to buy anything if I was going to have a replacement soon.

I got back in touch several times, asking. I got either no response or a “thank you for contacting us, now what was the situation again?”-type response.

Finally, after Christmas, I expressed my disappointment with the way they were handling things. I suggested that perhaps I should have specified that we wanted to find out about a replacement tree BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

I got an email back thanking me for my “feedback” (my theory: customer service has macros that automatically turn words such as “bitch fest” into words such as “feedback”) and saying there was nothing they could do for me, and that perhaps I would like to contact the manufacturer. Who is in Hong Kong. And has a non-loading web site. Oh, yes, I am QUITE SURE I will be getting a replacement tree mailed to me from Hong Kong any day now!

So now I have to take my brand-new tree to the dump, labeled DANGEROUS just in case anyone sees it and thinks, “Hey, Christmas tree! Score!” And Target gets to keep my money. And the manufacturer is safe in Hong Kong, where I cannot reach them to poke them with the pointy, shocky end of the tree as I would so enjoy doing.

Now I am in the market for a Christmas tree. I wonder how this experience will influence my purchasing decision? Target saved themselves $25, but bought themselves a heaping helping of bad feeling. And from their BEST GIRLFRIEND, too.

34 thoughts on “My Boyfriend Target and I Had a Fight

  1. zdoodlebub

    I’ve always thought of Target as a girl.

    And. I would have hauled that electro-shocking mofo up to the customer service desk. Even though I’m sure it specified something on the box (like in capital letters as if shouting the warning at you) about not bringing it back to the store, I would have done it anyway. I’m not usually a rule breaker like that. But if we’re treating Target like a boyfriend, I was always a pretty bratty girlfriend.

    Oh, wait, you prolly bought the clearance tree online, huh? Nevermind.

    Reply
  2. fairydogmother

    Yikes! We bought our tree at Target 3 years ago, and it sounds suspiciously like yours (without the dangerous vibrating shocky factor…so far). I don’t remember which model, except that it was slim something-or-other. We haven’t set it up the last couple of years because of the dog….Now I’m wondering if we will ever set it up again. I’m totally checking out which model it is next time I’m at my parent’s house. (I store it in their basement).

    Reply
  3. Swistle

    Zdoodlebub- I bought it in the store, and I TOTALLY should have dragged it back, and then burst into tears (with children ALL AROUND ME, making tons of noise and trouble) until they decided it was easier to just exchange the tree.

    Reply
  4. Tina G

    Yikes. Glad you are ok Swistle. Yeah, I think you get farther with real humans usually- most of the time they just want you to go away, so they will just take your defective stuff back with nary an eyebrow raised. My mom is the Queen of returns, too bad she couldn’t have done it for you. I surmise though, you’ll probably take Target(boyfriend) back and be all lovey-dovey again soon. Maybe just get a real tree and never get shocked again? Or just don’t get a pre-lighted fake one.

    Reply
  5. Laura

    Ooooo, that’s not good. I am not a big fan of Target because I grew up with them and they were just the “other Kmart”…exact stuff, exact prices. In fact, it was rather funny when they came to Michigan (I grew up in WI) and everyone was all kind of star struck and Tarjay-y and all. Although I love their baby and men’s stuff. I am sorry they stuck you like that…although I would do the go in sobbing with the kids all around thing and see what happens.

    Reply
  6. The Mommy Years

    Target boyfriend needs to beware the wrath of pissed off girlfriends with pointy shocky objects. He’s not normally so stupid ~ he almost always remembers to put his prettiest leather high heeled boots on a 75% off sale when he screws up ….

    Check the jewelry department – I’m sure your apology is waiting there!

    Reply
  7. Badness Jones

    Ooohhh that sucks! I would take it back to the store in question, with all your kids in tow, act all loud and let the kids eat chocolate and wipe their hands all over everything, and stand at customer service until they gave you a refund just to get rid of you. But I’m like that.

    Reply
  8. Sara

    I wasn’t going to say anything–but I dated him, too and he really screwed me over. It went something like this…I returned a lamp we got as a gift and they infirmed that i couldn’t get just any old merchandise credit…I would be getting a merchandise credit for another item from the lamp department. When I kindly put my hand on Target’s leg and explained that I didn’t need a lamp…that’s why I was returning this one…he explained to me that he was sorry but that was his policy. That is precisely the moment that I went postal…and made somewhat of a scene. Pretty sure I even screamed at a cart guy on my way out. I vowed to never take Target back EVER EVER! But as with all loser guys…they are just so hard to stay away from…..

    Reply
  9. donna

    It’s not too late! Take it back to the store and demand your money back. The harassed employees there will more than likely just do it to get you out of their hair. But for good measure, maybe go to a Target you don’t normally go to so you don’t have to be “that” woman at your regular Target.

    And I feel the exact same way about Hellmart. Like veal and fur, I refuse to spend my money at that store. No Sam’s Club for me and I don’t care how cheap they sell iPods or whatever, I do not give those bloodsuckers one penny of my money. Not that I have an opinion or anything.

    Reply
  10. amanda

    Purchased online or not, Target claims that returns can be made in the store as well. I would bring that tree into the store and stand at customer service until someone pays attention and does something about it. (It would be really effective if one of the kids had the chicken pox or something….)

    Seriously, if nothing else you should get the money back and they should deal with disposing of the death penalty tree……

    Reply
  11. Chelle

    Target and I also had a falling out recently.

    I purchased a very nice sex-ay nightie and, the first night I wore it the underwire in the bust escaped from the fabric and stabbed me in the chest.

    When I tried to return it they basically blamed me for the damage (my boobs obviously staged a coupe and attempted an escape) and refused to refund my money, asking if I wouldn’t rather exchange it for an identical one.

    Um, no. Boob pokeage is painful and I didn’t care to experience it twice.

    I didn’t break up with Target then but, I think we might need couples counseling before I feel right about us again.

    Reply
  12. laughing mommy

    That sucks! I love Target and I’m sad to hear about this bad customer service.

    My beef this season is with Eddie Bauer.com… I accidentally made a duplicate order… the SAME EXACT ORDER but twice (long story). I notified them immediately and they refused (REFUSED!) to cancel the duplicate. I even talked to a supervisor and they still refused to cancel the order. They said there was no possible way to cancel orders.

    Well, guess what Eddie Bauer… there is no possible way for me to shop from you ever again!

    (I still will shop from Target.)

    Reply
  13. Erin

    That so unfair! He should definitely take responsibility. You are right. But also, we all have our disagreements with our boyfriends. If he’s really worth it, he’ll do something to impress you soon. He’ll mark all ear rings down 75%, or he’ll carry dove chocolates buy one, get one. Give him an opportunity to win you back. Don’t give up yet!

    Reply
  14. Natalie

    I hope you haven’t taken it to the dump yet. Stand your ground. They sold you a defective tree, it’s up to THEM to take it up with the manufacturer. PLEASE take it back into the store.

    Reply
  15. Trina N.

    So, I thought I would give Target a whirl for my baby registry. I didn’t register with them the last time I was pregnant, and the only reason why I did this time was because I really didn’t “need” much in the way of big ticket items. So, I had my baby shower. I got 35 burp cloths and about 7 packs of 2 Avent newborn nipples. Both things I registered for. I went to Target to exchange them for anything else that was on my registry and Target wouldn’t take any of the items back because I didn’t have a receipt. Even though it CLEARLY shows on my registry that these items were purchased there. I was very upset. Then, I emailed them and it’s their policy and there is nothing they are willing to do to help. So, I am hoping that this baby spits up ALOT and is actually willing to take a bottle. I told Target we were through. The problem is, there is nothing along the lines of Target in my area except Target. So, we are on a break right now. :) I think we will be making up soon because there are a few things I really need to get before the baby arrives.

    Reply
  16. Pann

    Knowing it was over (for now) between you two, I ventured out of the house and ran to his arms, knowing full well how he’d treated you.

    I was wooed by the large clearance section (though avoiding all fake trees) where there were Christmas Cards and other bargains too good to pass up. It’s entracing, sticking the clearance stuff under the price checker and having it come up absurdly low prices… $1.25 long sleeve tees… 24 cents for a pack of candy canes … Before I knew it I was practically hyperventilating…

    He is just not right for me.

    So I think you must take him back.

    Reply
  17. Anonymous

    I worked for Kohl’s customer service, and there is indeed a macro to change “bitch fest” to “feedback.” :) In all honesty, though, we were set up with “hot keys” that allowed us to press one button and “I apologize for any inconvenience experienced due to this matter.” would magically appear in our e-mail.

    Reply
  18. amber

    Um, I have to say, I agree with the people who said Target is more of a girl. I always thought of it that way. Ahem.

    Hope you had an awesome Christmas!

    Reply
  19. jennifer

    Target and I have had “issues” in the past, but I still keep going back for more. He always says things like, “oooh, lookey at this pretty housewares item! On saaaaallllle!” And I melt.

    Reply
  20. Pregnantly Plump

    That’s crazy about your tree! And really scary. I’m glad you weren’t hurt. We bought a tree on clearance last year that wasn’t pre-lit. I was bummed about it, but had waited until the last possible minute to get it (so I could save as much as possible.) After reading this, I’m glad it wasn’t pre-lit. Hope you guys make up soon, I thought you made such a cute couple.

    Reply
  21. Thirty

    I work for a Target vendor and even WE have a tough time with “Guest Services”. They stick hard and fast to their 90 day return policy.

    It’s highly likely that this manufacturer in Hong Kong is actually owned by (or is a subsidiary of) Target. They set it up that way so their responsibility is even less.

    If you want to pursue it further, e-mail me. I have a few contacts that might be able to help you.

    Reply
  22. Jen

    probably you’re way over it – and i see from the next post that you’ve maybe made up with your bnbf (bad news boyfriend) – but i have to pipe up and say, take that mothereffing tree back to the store and make a ruckus unlike any ruckus they’ve seen before. if i were you, i might even tell them it shocked my KID and throw in that you’re on your way to the pediatrician right after you pick up your refund and/or shiny target gift card.

    Reply
  23. She Likes Purple

    That whole first paragraph, I nodded along emphatically, so believe me this hurts to write, but we got our pre-lit Christmas tree from Wal-Mart last year, on clearance, and love it. Just looooove it.

    And I’m going to have a stern talking to with Target.

    Reply
  24. brenna

    I know I’m late to the party and I wouldn’t chime in if it wasn’t important, but you should notify Consumer Product Safety Commision anytime a product acts like your tree did. It could be a fire hazard, and if other people have reported it, a recall could be needed.

    http://www.cpsc.gov/

    (there is a link on the homepage for reporting unsafe products)

    Reply
  25. Jen

    I thought I was the only one who had a break-up-type experience with Target. Sadly, no.

    Love lost.

    I hate that I will probably be shopping back there by the weekend, as they have me so peeved! But what can a girl do without her boyfriend?

    Reply

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