GO RED SOX! YOU ROX! ALSO YOU ARE NOT ABOUT TO WIN ANY SPELLING BEES!

Hello. Did you know the Red Sox are so awesome, I ALMOST paid full-price for a Red Sox t-shirt this weekend? True story.

Here are some of the things said by my children this past week (I realize they are also Paul’s children, but if I say “our children” when I’m talking to you, it sounds like I mean the children belonging to you and me–and, unless I am very much mistaken in my memory of the details, that’s misleading) (I’m not saying I think you would actually go, “Wait–those are MY children too??”) (anyway, now I’m going to type what the children said):

  • “The Red SOX play SOCCer, right?” (Me: “No, they play…”) “Do they play BASKETBALL?” (Me: “No, they play baseball.”) “No they don’t! I remember that it’s NOT baseball.”
  • “Do they actually wear red socks?”
  • “Wait. I thought ‘socks’ was ‘s-o-c-k-s.'” (Me: “It…”) “Is ‘s-o-x’ ONE sock?” (Me: “It’s…”) “Do they wear ONE red sock?” (Me: *swigging wine*)
  • “Series of WHAT?”
  • “What are the other choices for Best Team?”
  • “So they beat EVERY TEAM IN THE WORLD?” (Me: “No, they…”) “But it’s the WORLD series.” (Me: *headache*)
  • “Who’s Matt Sooie?”
  • “The Red Sox think outside the SOX. The Rockies think outside the ROCKS. Get it? Get it? Think outside the ROCKS. Get it? Get it? Mommy, get it?” (Me: “No.”)

I think that our family is gradually breeding out more and more athleticism as we keep selecting instead for computer ability and for cuteness in glasses. We are now not even good at WATCHING sports.

30 thoughts on “GO RED SOX! YOU ROX! ALSO YOU ARE NOT ABOUT TO WIN ANY SPELLING BEES!

  1. Misty

    “we keep selecting instead for computer ability and for cuteness in glasses”

    Ahhhh! Mystery solved! *That* is why my eldest is not such a hot soccer player. Who knew?

    Reply
  2. Alice

    man, i SO CANNOT CARE about baseball. especially not the sox. i’m sorry.

    however, i did receive (ny) giants undies for my bday this year, and it might be the best present i’ve ever gotten.

    Reply
  3. LoriD

    Too funny. I was embarrassed when my kid was the only one at hockey practice that didn’t have a favourite hockey team… just gave a blank stare. At least they have good computer skills and look cute in glasses, right?!

    Reply
  4. Mommy Daisy

    Sounds like your kids are very smart to me. The funny questioning! Ha! We’re into football here at my house. We watch so much on Saturday and Sundays, that on Monday my son has a fit screaming “football football” at least once each week. We need to make the withdrawl slower, I think.

    Reply
  5. Erica

    My husband is a HUGE geek and I’m pretty geeky myself, so my daughter has NO CHANCE AT ALL at being cool/athletically inclined. But, she’ll probably be able to hack into some system somewhere and lower my credit card interest for me by the time she’s seven.

    Reply
  6. Jess

    I love baseball and Torsten has become a big fan this year as well. So perhaps our family will select for baseball loving attitudes, though not necessarily athleticism itself. The two are very different, I think.

    Reply
  7. Pregnantly Plump

    Those are so funny! The bad thing about that in our house is that the stupid baseball questions come from me. Ex: “Ooh, three balls and two strikes, that’s a full house!”
    In my defense, a full house in cards is three and two!

    Reply
  8. Nowheymama

    HA! I think my Boston-born-and-bred mom is hoping her grandchildren will be better sports fans than her children. She bought Eli a long-sleeved baseball outfit specifically for October.

    Go Sox!

    Reply
  9. Brooke

    I have a huge crush on Josh Beckkkkkkett. Yum. I think he might be a little young for me. Oh, and I’m married and pregnant. Meh.

    My 8 YO daughter wanted the Rockies to win, “Because I’ve never *been* to Boston.” But by the 8th, she said she was rooting for whoever won. I explained to her what a “fair weather fan” is, but she did not care.

    I am sad that Fox does not broadcast Papelbon’s Irish dancing and now I will have to find it on YouTube.

    I gotta give my baseball-challenged husband credit, though, for seriously trying to understand the infield fly rule.

    Reply
  10. Shelly

    “swigging wine” – that is so totally how I feel when Supergirl starts running on and on about something. And you should hear her play-by-play descriptions of movies!

    Reply
  11. Marie Green

    I love it that my husband is not a sports fan of any capacity. Our Sunday’s are totally free- year round.

    (Sunday IS the big game day, right? See? I’m not even sure of that little detail.)

    Reply
  12. Stacie

    I am technically a Yankees fan. I became such soley in order to annoy my husband, who is an annoying sports fan and who loathes the Yankees.

    Every year I ask something like ‘So, have the Yankees won the Super Bowl yet?” And he laughs. Of course, he also gets the last laugh because ever since I became a fan they haven’t managed to win the World Series either. Stupid Yankees. If they would just get more three-pointers they could win.

    Reply
  13. Banana

    Oh man, I’m so sports retarded that I don’t even get the Matt Sooie joke. Also, had no idea until today that the World Series was going on. But ask me what Paris Hilton dressed up as for Halloween! I know that!

    Reply
  14. Woman with a Hatchet

    Yay! for breeding more glasses wearing computer geeks!

    ‘Round these here parts, we don’t give a flying…fig! about sports. Nevermind that it was our state team in the playoff thingie. I only knew they lost by your blog. Heh.

    My children, however much they may not be bred for athletics may yet surprise us with hidden talents. Perhaps it’s a recessive gene?

    Reply
  15. Woman with a Hatchet

    Oh and I don’t get the Matt Sooie joke either.

    I fail to be embarrassed by my sports ignorance. Except for when playing Trivial Pursuit. My husband and I kick ass on the science and literature and totally suck at TV and sports. Ehn! *shrug*

    Reply
  16. theflyingmum

    Did baseball always stretch this far into fall? I thought they were the “boys of summer.” And how come there are no girls on their teams? And whay DO they call it the “World Series?”
    Got any wine?

    Reply
  17. Laura

    Holy cow Swistle, I had no idea. As someone who has lived 20 miles from Boston most of my life, and a born Sox fan, I’m proud to know that you’re a member of the Nation.

    I know you’re anonymous and all, but to be honest, I would be really happy if I found out that you were secretly my neighbor or something b/c I like you that much :-)

    Reply
  18. Swistle

    Oh, I wouldn’t have gotten the Matt Sooie reference either, before this week. There’s a guy named Kaz Matsui who plays for the Rockies. Every time the commentators mention him, they call him “Matsui.” But SOME PEOPLE might hear that as “Matt Sooie.” Like if they were in another room baking brownies. And then those people might be confused about why those dumb commentators were calling SOME players by their WHOLE names and OTHER players by only their LAST names. Etc.

    Banana- So what IS Paris Hilton going as for Halloween? Slutty police officer? Or is it slutty nurse? Slutty angel? Slutty nun? Prostitute? Playboy bunny? I CANNOT REST UNTIL I KNOW.

    Laura- I’m always wondering—wouldn’t it be weird if some of us lived in the same town? FREAKY.

    Reply

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