Weight

I have been exercising for one month. I have done it three times a week, faithfully. I have died at least ten times. My posture is improving, and I feel new muscle-type feelings here and there. And I am UP TEN POUNDS from where I was a month ago. OMG NO PONIES.

Sure, I’ve eaten the occasional post-jogging pan of brownies. But before I started exercising, it was a post-pan-of-brownies pan of brownies, so it’s not like I’m eating MORE now. Brownies + exercise is better than just the brownies, RIGHT?

I’m not going to weigh myself for awhile. Is this because “health is what really matters, not numbers”? NO. It’s because if I know my weight is going THE HELL UP, I am going to stop exercising. It’s the NUMBERS I care about, not some theoretical “health” (huge air quotes). And while muscle may weigh more than fat, it doesn’t weigh TEN POUNDS more after ONE MONTH.

Also, who am I kidding? Clearly I am going to be weighing myself, like, TWICE A DAY. Because, holy crap! This situation must be closely monitored! A watched pot does not boil, and a watched scale had better not go up–unless it wants to go down, very quickly, in the direction of the pavement below the window.

Here is another issue: the day I started exercising was the day I started the mini-Pill. Shall we blame the mini-Pill? But then what if I go off it and the weight stays?

41 thoughts on “Weight

  1. Ser

    Oh, I’m sure it is the mini-pill.

    But, too, I wanted to say that I trained for and ran a marathon a couple of years ago, and through that whole year-long process, I gained a few pounds. But now when I look at the pictures from that time, even though I weigh the same now, I realize that I LOOKED HOT back then. So you are exercising your way to hotness.

    And scales. I was so sick of my obsession that I put my scale in the crawl space on the top floor of my house. Now I haul it out of the crawl space at least once a day.

    Reply
  2. brandy

    Blame the pill! I definitely gained weight when I started mine.

    And it is a known side effect of most birth control pills anyway. You might have gained more if you weren’t exercising.

    Reply
  3. Devan

    agreed! Pill + more muscle = weight gained.
    Still sucks big time though. I finally had to put the scale away too, I was weighing myself every few hours. Total obsession!!
    Of course, now I’m thinking about hauling it out to see how I’ve done this week.

    Reply
  4. Wendi

    I sympathize!! The same thing happens to me whenever I exercise — I never lose weight, I always gain. I gained 10 pounds over one summer when I exercised more than I ever had in my life. Argh. I moved my scale downstairs so I don’t weigh myself obsessively.

    I think it’s fantastic that you’re doing the couch to 5k thing — don’t let the weight gain stop you! Even though I gain weight, I always feel better when I force myself to exercise so I focus on that now and never expect to lose weight from exercising. I just do it for the health benefits (when I actually *do* exercise!)

    Reply
  5. Jodi

    It could be the pill but you also have to remember you are building muscle and muscle weighs more than fat.

    And once that muscle is better toned, you will burn fat faster even when you are resting (or eating a pan of brownies). :)

    Don’t give up yet!

    Reply
  6. Black Sheeped

    Swistle!

    Okay, first, the framing post is up. I don’t think it will help you at all, but it IS very long.

    Second. Do you know what can make people gain weight? Being tired and stressed. And you are tired and have sounded stressed. And your body might be all OH COME ON WHAT THE HELL HORMONES AND BABIES AND I AM SO TIRED and retaining fluid and all sorts of annoying things. So maybe the pill combined with the being tired from the baby and the stress is just showing itself that way. So it is CRUCIAL you get that haircut and have some Swistle-time.

    Don’t stop exercising. If you’re feeling new muscle-y things, the running is working. And that is Exciting. It’s so good for you! Your heart, Swistle, think of your heart and lungs! They are so happy!

    Also, throw out your scale. Every time I put our scale in the closet I magically lose ten pounds because I’m not thinking about it.

    Reply
  7. Jess

    You know, they say that weight lifting increases your metabolism. Which everyone likes. So if you don’t have a gym and don’t want to work out on weight machines, maybe you could do some free weights? Like carry them when you’re walking/running? Not to suggest MORE torture, but it could make a difference.

    But also, I concur with the others about the muscle and the pill. Weight Watchers suggests weighing yourself once a week, at the same time of day, in the same clothing. And no more than that. That has really worked for me because it keeps the freaking out over water retention, hormones, etc. to a minimum.

    Reply
  8. Alice

    just to reiterate what everyone has commented and you’ve already said you don’t actually care about anyway, i TOTALLY gain weight when i exersize. but seriously look WAY BETTER (like, sleeker! suaver! sexier!) with +8 lbs of muscle rather than regular smooshy but lighter self. and i really do gain 4-8 lbs within like 2 weeks of regular exersize. hell, i used to weigh myself before going into a squash court to play for 45 minutes and then when i came out again, and i swear to you i was 1 lb HEAVIER every single freaking time. which doesn’t even make sense, because i’m pretty sure you can’t spontaneously build muscle that quickly, but WHATEVER HUSH.

    Reply
  9. Marie Green

    Holy Sh*t, I just typed my brains out in a LONG comment and then I received an error and now it’s GONE.

    So, what was I saying? Basically it boiled down to 1) I quit weighing myself, because of obsession 2)I feel a bit more muscle-y too 3)You probably have tons of water weight- my Dr. says so. Pregnant/lactating women can vary up to 5lbs a day in water!! 4) Week 4 scared the sh*t out of me- I’m doing week 3 one more time…

    Ok, I’m pushing publish, and keeping my fingers crossed…

    Reply
  10. LoriD

    I think you scale is probably wrong. But also, I just saw something on TV that said birth control pills, depression medicine and steroids (like in asthma meds) can all lead to weight gain.

    Reply
  11. CAQuincy

    I never had a problem with weight gain and the mini-pill. However, I also have a small frame and most of my co-workers hate me, so that may not be the best gauge for you.

    However, I also do NOT own a scale because I found I was obsessing over every little half-pound fluctuation from weighing myself every day.

    On the other hand, not too long after I dumped my scale, I read some sort of study that said that people attempting to lose weight actually did BETTER when weighing themselves every day as apparently obsessing over every pound gained back really, really motivated them to continue their diet/exercise regimine.

    Who the freak were they studying then? ‘Cause I know WAY too many people who did just that and chalked it up to “WTF! Nothing I do ever matters!” and just gave up.

    DON’T GIVE UP! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!

    Reply
  12. Chelle

    Mini pill, totally. Also, water weight. And, muscle weighs more than fat so you are clearly gaining muscle. Ohh, better yet; the scale, it is BROKEN.
    Because, we all know that excercise of any sort cancels out the calories in a pan of brownies much like ordering a diet soda cancels out the calories in a cheeseburger. It’s only logical.

    Reply
  13. Farrell

    OMG I would be so pissed. Though I want to thank you for giving me just the excuse I need to continue NOT exercising. I DEFINITELY can’t afford to gain even one pound, let alone 10. *shudder*

    Reply
  14. Penny

    The mini pill might be part of it, but a lot of women report gaining a little weight early in a new exercise program. The theories are 1) muscle has been added, which weighs more; or 2) some additional water retention happens early on; 3) you actually eat more now then you did before, even though you don’t notice, because you’re hungrier.

    DON’T PANIC. It should totally come off soon, as long as you keep up the exercise and you’re keeping your caloric intake about the same.

    Reply
  15. Swistle

    Jodi- I love that I will be burning calories faster while eating a pan of brownies. I picture them being loaded one after another into a little furnace. Brownie WHOOSH.

    Black Sheeped- “…don’t think it will help you, but it IS very long”–so funny. All right, I WILL try to think of heart/lungs. I always imagine them going all pink and happy from exercise. When actually they probably look hideous and veiny.

    Jess- Oh my god, SERIOUS? MORE exercise, THAT’S the solution? NO! I DRAW THE LINE!

    Ser, and also Alice- I like this idea of weighing more but looking hotter. I mean, weighing LESS but looking hotter would be even better. But weighing more and looking hotter is better than just weighing more.

    Farrell- And what if I go to FIVE days a week instead of THREE? What THEN? Six or seven more pounds for Swistle? Noooooooo!

    Misguided Mommy- Snort! I think you’re right.

    Hello Insomnia- I know! Totally! The weight I thought was Astonishingly High in high school is now an Unrealistic Goal.

    Reply
  16. Me Today

    “I have died at least ten times.” and “(huge air quotes).Crack me up!
    How is that mini-pill working for you? I hope well. Mine made me go crazy. God, I need to start this running program. I never exercise and reading all of these posts is inspiring me. (I wish I knew how to do the word strike-through thing because I would have totally wrote, “making me feel guilty” and slashed through those!) It’s awesome that you are noticing some positive effects from the program. Keep it up.

    Reply
  17. Erica

    You know, it’s nice that all of your commenters are so supportive and encouraging.

    I was totally going to tell you to stop that running shit if it makes you miserable AND fatter, but I guess I’d better not.

    Keep it up, Swistle! Exercise is good. Yay exercise!

    Reply
  18. Swistle

    Me Today: I think the mini-pill is working okay. I feel about the same levels of crazy and emotional as usual. I asked Paul if he thought I’d become crazier or more emotional in the last month, but he refused to answer.

    Reply
  19. Jen

    I hate it when that happens. When you exercise, you should lose weight. Period. End of story. No matter that you eat brownies by the pan. You are exercising, dammit, and that should be enough.

    On a side note, it is this exact reason that I secretly sometimes do not take that mini-pill. I am certain that it will make me gain back the precious pounds I have lost over the last 7 months. Of course, nothing kills a diet like getting pregnant, so I guess I should re-think my strategy.

    Reply
  20. Anonymous

    Significant weight-gain from birth control is generally pretty marginal (bit of a myth, that one) – it’s rare to significantly gain weight from such in itself.

    It’s probably muscle which, while it can feel very sucky as far as numbers go, is ultimately great and will probably lead to a stronger, faster metabolism. Your body may also just need a little time to settle after giving birth.

    Bet you’re beautiful 10 extra pounds or not.

    All the best :).

    Reply
  21. AndreAnna

    I gained five pounds in two weeks. From the surgery, I couldn’t exercise and then felt sorry for myself, so ate junk.

    Mike and I joined a gym together today.

    This should be an event.

    I’m sure yours is from the pill. I HATE my pill, but just need to stay on a couple more months. It makes me feel fat, bloated, hungry, moody, and I have NO sex drive. Which kind of defeats the purpose of needing it in the first place, huh? Oh well.

    Reply
  22. Omaha Mama

    The weight won’t stay if you’ve gotten yourself knocked up! I’m just saying…

    But seriously, I’ve always thought the pill made me gain weight/retain water – whatever.

    I’d say monitor it, see if it changes. Maybe you just chose a really bad day to weigh in.

    Reply
  23. Swistle

    Jen- Oh, it’s an internet slangy thing. Like, when something is really awesome, people will write “OMG PONIES!1” (often with the 1 like that, in place of an exclamation point). So since I was on “suckage” end of the OMG spectrum, I changed it to “OMG NO PONIES,” and left out the punctuation to be more grrr-ish about it.

    Reply
  24. Katie

    Ask yourself this. Before you stepped on the scale, how did you feel? Did you FEEL like you were losing weight? Did you feel better? Did your clothes fit any better? Because if you answer yes, then that should tell you something.

    Ummm..if you said no? Then I say quit exercising. But, I’m a bad influence, so you probably shouldn’t listen to me!

    Also, don’t forget you JUST HAD A BABY. HELLO!

    Reply
  25. Swistle

    Katie- I DID feel better. Not so much THINNER as CUTER. Which is why the scale was such a disappointment. I will try to be happy with just the CUTER.

    Jen- My guess is that if a 33-year-old mother is saying “OMG PONIES,” THAT’S probably out of style, too.

    Reply

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