Two questions I am not asking Paul this morning, because I don’t know how such a conversation would begin:
1) What were you planning to use for birth control, dumbass, if I hadn’t pushed you away? When people asked us if we “knew how this kept happening,” they were kidding–but now I’m wondering if I need to sit you down for The Talk.
2) Did you seriously think you were going to score in the middle of the night with a nursing mother? You’re lucky I didn’t leave for a hotel. And that all your parts are still attached.
Leave the brochure for wood chipper rental on his nightstand.
Har har. Sounds like a bad case of sexsomnia. Google it.
Poor, poor, deluded Paul.
So, I’m guessing you told him the doctor cleared you. That’ll teach you to tell the truth!
Oh, how I heart you!! lol.
Karly–I haven’t even had my OB appointment yet! (It got postponed–so very sad.) That makes it all the more outrageous, doesn’t it?
Poor Swistle. Stupid Paul.
Maybe Jeff and Paul are brothers from another mother.
Perhaps he figured, “Well, she’s awake all night anyways… Maybe she’d like ANOTHER person’s needs to attend to!”
I like shelly’s idea about the wood chipper rental.
and seriously, wth are men thinking. Screws their “needs.” Wait, let me rephrase that, we shouldn’t have to screw anything. FORGET their “needs.”
This is way off topic but I would like to state for the record that I’m am now officially obsessed with chocolate covered cherries. I think you may be able to achieve world domination, Swistle, just with the power of suggestion. I’ve just returned from Target with two brands to compare. The chocolate-covered-cherry-off? Emily’s brand are yummy. http://www.emilyschocolates.com/
I haven’t tried the Harry & David’s yet.
I think it is a very good thing I’m going to do the C25K thing given my current new obsession.
Tell Paul to talk to David. Maybe if the two of them got to talking, they could figure it out together… I have a handy flip chart, used in our teen childbirth classes, that I’ll leave out “accidentally”.
HAHAHAHA
And yet… it’s eerily familiar…
Poor, stupid, deluded Paul. But you are kind and generous as he still has all his parts…
2 words:
baseball bat
oh dear….
LOL! Oh man is he in trouble.
Oh and I have started a contest today in honor of my birthday! Go over and check it out so you can enter to win!
Way too funny! Helloooo you haven’t had your OB appointment…tell him the goods are still off limits until the Dr. says so!
Amen!
And tell him it’s 6 months. Not 6 weeks. But, being that you’ve been through 3 other pregnancies, I’m guessing he won’t buy it. Shucks.