I have been up and down all day today, and it is only 9:00 in the morning. This is Paul’s first day back to work.
Last night started out well: I nursed Henry at 8:00, and he was still asleep in his infant seat at my bedtime so I went to bed, and he didn’t wake until after 2:00 in the morning so I got some nice by-myself sleeping done, and also it was encouraging to see him sleep a big chunk of time like that.
But what woke him was Elizabeth, crying, which she’s been doing a lot more of since we brought Henry home, especially at bedtime and naptime and during the night. And Paul let her cry for a long, long time, and I could hear him SNORING which made me feel like putting a stake through his heart. And when he finally went to her, he BROUGHT HER OUT to let her sleep snuggled on him. And then he said nonchalantly, “She’ll probably be up at 5:30 when I get up.” That’s what he said to his exhausted, breastfeeding-in-the-middle-of-the-night wife, who was facing her first day of five children on her own. So that was not a good beginning to the day.
Then he went off to work, clearly happy to be getting the hell out of here, and Elizabeth did indeed get up when he did, so at 5:30 in the morning I was watching a newborn and a toddler through bleary, uncomprehending eyes. But she was cheerful and cute, humming to herself and making little comments about everything, padding around in her pink sleeper feeties, and Henry was all alert and cute, and okay, I can handle this. Then the sudden awareness that the twins have a check-up this morning, and that probably means I should scrape a layer of dirt off of them first. And the discovery, in the kitchen, of a piled-high-and-squashed-down trash can, and a teetering-full dish rack.
I am always hoping, when Paul has to do (some of) my job for awhile, that he will be left thinking, “Oh my god, I had no idea how hard that was! I’ve got to help out more!” Instead he seems to be left thinking, “Oh my god, I had no idea how hard that was! Thank god I don’t have to do it anymore!”
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But THIS was a big Up: I took the twins to their doctor appointment (Oh, hi! It’s 11:30 now! This post is taking me forever!), and of course I had to take Henry and William also, and it went fine. Totally fine. I put Henry’s car seat and the less well-behaved twin Edward into the double stroller, and I let Elizabeth walk, and William opened doors, and it went fine. So now I feel better about the goddamned stupid department of vital records making that stupid-ass mistake little birth certificate mix-up, and I think it will be humanly possible to go this week to fix it. Not today, though. Today I’m all used up.
You are doing so, so well. I have said before, and will say again, the postpartum time is my least favorite time in all of maternity/babydom. I distinctly remember being so impressed with myself the day I took *two* kids to the grocery alone. You are my hero.
I agree with nowheymama up there. I was on top of the world when I took both kids to the store as well. Going out with 4….YOU ARE A SUPERSTAR!
I love reading your journal. Makes me think I could maybe have more kids some day.
sometimes when I’m downstairs and I hear my husband taking too long to deal with the kids, I wish I had a remote action shock collar on him.
Jen: *snorting a Kit Kat out my nose*
I have to admit that I enjoy hearing hubby woes – enjoy? – maybe that’s the wrong word. As much as we love them, their wee skulls can be so thick. Piled high squashed down trash cans are a trademark move of my hubs.
Hang in there – to me, it sounds like you are doing beautifully!
Sounds like you did pretty well handling all the kids this morning. Even through a hazy fog of no-sleep. You were already doing it all with 4 kids, so what’s one more, right? I hope the rest of your day goes just as well. I can’t even get a day to go that well with one kid and a dog. *sigh*
I had another thought all ready then jen’s shock collar comment removed everything from my brain except “hahahahahahahahahahahahah” and “well, it works for my parents’ dog….”
Awesome job with the doctor’s visit. :-)
What is it about men? Glad it went well today!! You did great. I melt at the thought of just my two…but I guess I hve it easy.
Off to the grocery for us today!
My husband also loves to smash the garbage down as tightly as possible and leave me with a gross, overflowing can when he goes to work. Nothing makes me quite so mad as that! Oh, except for when he puts wet towels and washcloths on top of our regular dirty laundry, leaving them to fester and mold for days on end.
It sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job so far… just making it to the dr. is a huge accomplishment!
Remember the ups and downs are NORMAL and hormonally based at this point, and not a symptom of your new life with 5 children. As your body balances back to its unpregnant state, as Henry sleeps more, as you adjust to functioning on less sleep, it’ll all smooth out. I know you know all of this already, but sometimes it’s nice to hear it again. =)
Give yourself a big dose of grace. You’re doing awesome!
First, I love that you’ve been posting pics on all your posts!
Second, I want one of those shock collars Jen mentioned.
Third, holy cow! I’m so impressed you made it to the drs. office and you’re sane enough to continue to post. Bravo! Bravo! I will remember you tomorrow when I have to schlep my two to the ped for our 1 mon appt. I have hope!
Nice work today! I’m totally humbled and very impressed that William is opening doors for his Mama and little siblings.
Also, I’m a bit relieved to know that even a very experienced mom still worries about the bad sleep habits (from the last post). I have a tendancy to get all stressed out about every little thing I do related to the baby’s sleeping, like I’m going to unintentionally launch us into a 18 years of broken sleep and bad habits. When really, you just have to get through that newborn phase doing whatever works for you.
Hope Elizabeth’s nights go smoother soon!
While I would give just about anything to have my girl back as a tiny newborn, I wouldn’t go back to those first two weeks postpartum for all the money in the world. I have never felt so honest-to-God out of control. My emotions were all over the damn place and once or twice, I considered suicide as a viable solution to the sleep deficit problem. I remember thinking, “What kind of hellish mistake have we made???” on several hundred occasions.
But, those snuggly little bodies make it all worthwhile in the end, don’t they?
Can you get shock collars for husbands?
Congratulations on all of the day’s accomplishments. I remain totally in awe of the fact that you so beautifully handle (and write about!) five children when my one nearly sends me over the edge daily.
Swistle, you’re a superhero. Small Grrrs in Paul’s direction for leaving the kitchen a mess. Hope you have family coming to visit for a while, to help you ease into the transition.
Vital records deserves another Grrr too.
I can’t believe you are functioning so well! Are you at least enjoying periodic doses of Percocet or something for the post-op pain and general post-baby letdown? ‘Cause wow- you’re posting almost every day, you’re getting pictures up there for us, you’re taking four kids to the doctor when just taking my one wears me out for the day… We are capable of so much more than we think, it seems. Why haven’t moms taken over the world already? (Oh yeah, ’cause we’re busy taking out over-full trashbags!)