I don’t know if any of you have experienced a good prescription painkiller, or perhaps the similar feeling–from what I’ve heard–produced by certain non-prescription substances. The feeling is familiar to me from postpartum, when the lovely lovely pills put a barrier between me and the other feeling, the one where I’m imagining my baby as an old man and weeping because life is so very fleeting, and then thinking about how I have made a terrible mistake to get married and have children, and then thinking about how I will never be able to cope with this new workload because it is too much and I have really gone too far this time. Then it is time for my painkiller and I see why people who have lives that are genuinely unhappy–rather than made temporarily unhappy by hormonal adjustments–might resort to such substances without the authorization of a physician.
Tonight I have that painkiller feeling, but with nothing to explain it. I was washing the dishes, and my hands and the bridge of my nose started feeling…tingly. And I felt distant from what I was doing, and inclined to admire the soap bubbles and wash the dishes more slowly to appreciate the roundness of the plates and the sparkly way the water was running over them. BUZZED. But why?
When I am 38 weeks pregnant, I attribute everything to possible labor. Crampy? Maybe I’m in labor! Lower back a little sore? Maybe I’m in labor! Not hungry? Maybe I’m in labor! Feeling buzzed for no reason? Hey, it COULD be labor.
Underneath the “whoaaaaaaaa! look at my hands!” feeling, I started getting stressed: if it were labor, I’d still have last-minute things I’d need to do–but darned if I could make myself do anything except look at the pretty bubbles. Then, suddenly, I was galvanized. I separated out the “fun things for the kids to do while waiting around at the hospital” stuff from the “fun things for the kids while Paul is trying to handle all four of them at home” stuff. I packed up a few more things that can be packed up now, such as batteries and a tiny screwdriver for the little games that will certainly run out of batteries ten minutes after we get to the hospital. I put a book of Sudoku puzzles in my hospital bag, and remembered to include a pencil.
And I calmed the hell down, because it’s not labor. Early labor feels very little like “yummy painkillers!” and very much more like, “Ouch ouch ouch damn it this hurts!”–as I remember it from my firstborn, anyway.
Now I’m lethargic again, but still with that strange high feeling. I think I’ll go sit in the recliner and admire the weave of the fabric until Thursday.
I actually remember having a similar feeling a few times towards the end of being pregnant with Owen–however, my likely culprit was a seven pound baby sitting just so on part of my circulatory system, thus cutting off important blood supply. It was kind of fun though (initially) to turn my head and have the whole room suddenly feel like it was moving too.
You’re so close to the end!!!
I am so jealous of your buzz! I was terribly bitter after my knee surgery that I didn’t get to experience any of that delicious narcotic high, not even DURING the stupid procedure, due to the ole’ pregnancy. I just had to lay there, completely numb but sober and sane, as someone operated on my body behind that sheet. And I actually thought of you right then, as a matter of fact, and every woman who has c-sections, and I gave mental props to you, because I think it would freak me the heck out!
I’m can’t even pretend to understand the hormonal craziness going on in you right now, but enjoy the buzz. :) I hope you get through this week as peacefully and comfortably as possible! I’ll be thinking about you.
Ooooh, free buzz!! Might was well enjoy it, right?
Oh, I remember the discomfort and impatience of those last couple of weeks. To me, at this point, 2 weeks flies by. But at nine months pregnant, they’re and ETERNITY!!! So, yeah… good luck with that…
Trena: Ha ha! I think that was probably it: baby cutting off blood flow to the brain. I felt weird until I went to bed, which is probably when I jostled him off whatever he was pressing against.
Oh how I love that floaty fuzzy painkiller buzz.
After having 2 csections myself, I know that painkiller buzz well! I also can totally see how people get addicted. I was so paranoid about that (addiction) that I only took them sparingly. Therefore, I still have plenty left, you know, for a rainy day! =) As far as your non-pain-killer-induced buzz, well, there’s so many hormone and blood pressure changes at the end of pregnancy. I remember feeling that way too, at the end. I’ll be thinking of you on Thursday!
I get that feeling now. I ttribute it to being Elise is sucking out every extra calorie from me that she can…which means I can eat more ice cream.
Don’t let them put torridol in your IV.
oh, you got my hopes up for a minute, i thought “labor is like painkillers? i can handle that!” oh, but no… well, maybe i can jostle this baby into position to give me a little buzz as well.
your new one is almost here!
Being buzzed sounds pretty good!
Hope that you are feeling all “prepared” now!