Wedding Gifts, Day Three–And Why Not?

Oh, man, I loved the wedding present stories! The regifts with the original to/from card still in the boxes! The yard sale crap that cost more than a nice new present would have cost! The fake wooden book with a gold Jesus on it! The homemade toilet paper holder! The guess-a-size lingerie! The painted ice skate with a fake bird in it! Three-foot-long wall hangings of The Last Supper! The book helpfully advising you to consult the Lord before resorting to the divorce you’ll inevitably want! The suggestion that the colors you’ve registered for can’t be what you had in mind! Ha ha ha ha ha ha wheeeeeeeeeeeze!

It’s nice to know that people still get a ton of candy dishes, vases, and unusable silver/crystal. My mom caught a case of Registry Envy from my cousin, and is now fretting about all the silver/crystal she and my dad got almost forty years ago and how much better it would have been if they could have registered for other things. Presumably things in avocado green and harvest gold covered with little smiley faces and daisies, things that would at this point be even worse than the crystal and silver, and would in any case be broken or worn out by now. Just saying.

I’ve heard that thing about knives being a bad gift. I heard the “it cuts your love” thing for weddings, and that for non-wedding situations it means you want to sever a relationship. (What I usually do is stop returning calls, rather than dropping big bucks on a set of knives and hoping they get the expensive hint—but to each her own.) The year after I heard about the knife-gift symbolism, I gave my mother-in-law a set of knives for Christmas. She really did need them; the symbolism was merely a bonus. In fact, it seems like knives would make a nice wedding gift for a couple you thought shouldn’t be getting married. You’d have the satisfaction of the symbolism, as I did with my mother-in-law, and yet you’d be getting them a genuinely nice gift so you’d look like a nice person with good taste. Wicked.

Those of you who wish you had matched flatware, allow me to direct your attention to the Amazon.com kitchen sale, which is on until May 28th and includes some bitchin’ flatware sets. I think my favorite is the Oneida Banbury service for 12 for $49.99 down from $180.00, with free shipping–but it’s hard not to be tempted by the Reed & Barton service for 8: what little girl doesn’t dream of her first game-bird-themed flatware set?

So. Onward. Two people have suggested that the next discussion be about baby registries. Babies and registries? You barely need to touch my wrist, let alone twist my arm. I’ll do a post on that soon, so be thinking about the topic and composing your comments.

10 thoughts on “Wedding Gifts, Day Three–And Why Not?

  1. Anonymous

    Sorry, addding in a little late, but for us it was George Foreman grills (we received 4- and I’m a vegetarian! You know, really needing to drain the grease off my soy burger), and about 12 crystal vases (those things are heavy! I was afraid one would fall on my dog and kill her!). The strangest thing we got was a ceramic catholic/irish “symbol for marriage”- I think it’s like two intertwining hoops or something, I can’t ever remember, and a matching towel set with the same catholic/irish symbol on it. We are Lutheran, have been our whole lives, and the giver knows this. The giver was Lutheran too! AND we are not irish, and neither is the giver. HUH???? She’s not married either, so it couldn’t have been a regift. We also got a really nice print, but is was matted and framed in PINK. Yes, friends, the FRAME and MAT are PINK. I’m not a pink kinda girl, have never in my life had a single pink thing in my house, so WTH? And it’s expensive to have something matted/framed. And I happen to know it was done especially for us. We didn’t get much we registed for, but did get lots of cold hard cash, which we put into a “wedding account” and bought wedding present-ish things with.

    Reply
  2. Tessie

    Yeah for the forthcoming baby registry entry!

    I am definitely NOT scribbling notes on a sticky on my desk at this very moment. I mean, that would just be weird.

    Reply
  3. CAQuincy

    *sigh* I’m feeling left out. My hubby and I didn’t have a real wedding–just a jaunt down to the JOP. And that’s all I wanted back then (not to mention that we lived 8 hours away from family/friends and it just seemed like too much of a hassle to plan a long-distance wedding where only 10 people would be able to show for me–including parents and bridesmaids!) Anyway, it’s not until now–9 years later–that we’re realizing what we missed out on. No registrations! No gifts! No money! Not even a freakin’ honeymoon (we were poor–he was in grad school)! (I’ve heard of “the new gift” being a helpful payment towards the honeymoon reservations). What the freak were we thinking?! Sheesh! We sure could have used some new stuff! (And still can–is it too late to register now?!)

    I also did not register for my baby shower. I figured that I needed EVERYTHING so why do I care what they give me? And I gotta give everyone credit–they really did a good job with what they gave me.

    Reply
  4. CAQuincy

    Well, see part of the trick was that we didn’t TELL them when we got married. And then the focus became on the baby gifts–if ya know what I mean! ;-)

    Think I should go and demand my due?

    (Gee–maybe they DON’T love us!)

    Reply
  5. jonniker

    I loved the wedding registry talk. I can’t believe I got too distracted before I got to mention the mysterious three-foot tall martini glass we received from some relatives.

    And OH HOW GLAD I AM that I will get to see the baby registry laid out before I’m even at that point. OH YES. I will learn from you all.

    Reply
  6. laughing mommy

    I came over from Purple is a Fruit.

    I got 14 crystal bowls and 16 crystal platters for my wedding. Even if I threw the biggest dinner party ever, I don’t think I could use them all.

    My husband and I were fresh from college (living in dorms!) so we had NOTHING to set up our household… except crystal bowls and platters. Now that I think back, we should have used them for plates and cereal bowls!

    Heavy, expensive, highly breakable plates and cereal bowls.

    Reply

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