Hi, and welcome to Let Your Kids Watch TV All Morning Because You’re Too Wired And Want To Talk Online! Day!

Yesterday, our mail carrier delivered a package…to the side of the road. It was a large but lightweight package, and he left it next to our mailbox, in the dirt by the side of the road. I don’t think they’re supposed to do that, are they? He’s not our usual carrier; our usual carrier always brings the packages to the porch. I was almost mad enough to call the post office and complain, but then I was like, “Do I really want to follow through on this?,” and my answer to myself was, “No, I want to see if there is any fudge left.” So I went out to the road and brought in the package before someone could steal it, and then I ate the rest of the fudge.

Did you catch the Amazon.com toy sale? It’s a little frustrating because so many of the things in the sale category are not, in fact, on sale (apparently because they have only certain quantities available at the sale price, and then the item reverts to its usual price but somehow stays in the sale category–VERY ANNOYING), but if you’re all wired up and in the mood to shop, it’s the perfect opportunity to browse pages and pages of nothing you’re interested in. I did find a bunch of little handheld toys for Rob and William to play with at the hospital while they’re waiting for the baby to be born, and maybe those toys will even arrive before I go to the hospital, but it is not likely.

Yesterday I had my pre-op appointment with the OB. My PRE-OP. Because there are only EIGHT DAYS LEFT UNTIL MY OP. The OB and I discussed things such as whether I can have the epidural out earlier than usual, since I hate that “dead weight from the ribs down” feeling, and also, if you can imagine, that “tube in my spine which could leave me permanently paralyzed if I move wrong” feeling. I wanted to ask about this before, but I didn’t want to be one of those patients who thinks she knows better than the entire medical community. Finally I thought of a good way to ask about it: instead of asking if I “could” have the epidural out early, I asked if it “worked” to have the epidural out early. See, then he can be Expert Doctor, and perhaps then he won’t feel like showing me how much pain I could theoretically be in. He said that after the surgery was over, he could either do a “walking epidural” (the nummy narcotic part of the recipe without the numbing part), or he could take the epidural out entirely and do oral medication (again, that would be the nummy narcotics). Furthermore, it turned out he’s a big fan of shorter epidurals, because then the patient can move around sooner and that’s good for circulation and healing, so now he loves me even more! Which is good, because when someone is going to cut me open with a scalpel, I like as much love and goodwill in the room as possible.

The house was freezing this morning (I left the windows open all night), but I hate to turn on the heat when later it’s going to be overly warm in here and I’ll be puffing up. So William and I baked muffins, which raised the temperature a couple degrees of pumpkin-spicy goodness. Highly recommended tactic. And now the freezer is seriously out of room for muffins. Really: no more muffins.

I paid bills today, and it was exciting to think that the next time these bills are due, the baby will be here. Also, I paid a few of the smaller, more annoying ones a few months ahead, so that I wouldn’t have to mess with them soon after the baby was born. For example, we have this one credit card that we only use for a small monthly automatic billing thing, and I should really switch that to another card but I never feel like messing with it. And so this little bill arrives each month, and sometimes I put it aside because it’s a pain, and it has an unusually short time between bill date and due date, and so sometimes I end up having a heart attack because it’s overdue and the late fee is more than double the entire amount of the bill. Anyway, I paid that for the next four months, so screw you, tiny little pain-in-the-butt bill!