My cousin is getting married next month, and I have been having fun looking at his registry. I love registries. Not only do I love peering at the things someone else likes and wants, I love choosing what I’m going to buy. I weigh each option for symbolism and practicality. Bonus points are given for items I own and like, or approve of in general, or want for myself. Points are docked for items that I am almost certain they are never going to use, or items I suspect they would choose a much much cheaper version of if they were paying for the items themselves. Shopping and knowing they’ll like it and judgmental thoughts! It’s win-win-win!
Now that I’ve chosen my cousin’s gift (I got them the cake pans I want for myself), I feel sad. All that’s left now is the endless revisiting of their registry to see what other people have bought, and that fails to satisfy. I want more: more wedding present talk, more registry talk.
I have two main things I’d like to discuss. I’m worried that if I put both into the same post, some people will answer one and some will answer the other, and we won’t get a deeply satisfying discussion going. And so my plan is to separate the two topics: we keep everything straight that way, and I get twice as much talk about wedding presents.
The first topic is wedding registries. If you had one, what are you glad you registered for, and what do you now look back on as foolish? What do you wish you’d registered for? Did you have a whole bunch of registries, or just one? Did you get most of what you registered for, or just a smattering? What approximate percentage of gift-givers used your registry, and what approximate percentage didn’t? What do you think are the most important items to register for?
Next up will be the non-registry aspects of wedding presents, such as what did you get ten of, what did you get none of, what did you get that you didn’t expect, etc. But for now, stick with registry issues and decisions, happy and sad.
Well! Essay time! I can’t really answer this question until after June 16th. But I can ramble about this subject anyway. For us it was hard to register, because we’ve both a) lived on our own for years and b) lived together for a few years. Therefore we technically have everything we need. But since people told us to register repeatedly, we have. We registered for things that we don’t have but have talked about wanting for a very long time, but just have not purchased yet (such as the pizza stone and electric skillet). We also registered for things we could really use new, since our versions are old and beat up. Hence new dinnerware and dishes and cookie sheets. And who knows where my measuring spoons are. I always just guess. I’m really fond of three or four specific items on the registry (namely, the new dinnerware, new glasses, and the big iron skillet), but those are also things we can just buy ourselves if we don’t get them. Living together has really given some insight on what we use and what we would never use.
I think registering is a little strange–I refused to put registry info into my invitations, and since no one threw me a shower, there was no registry word of mouth that way either. Therefore, I’m sort of doubting we get anything from the registry at all.
I like to pick out gifts for people. Sometimes the registry gifts are fine, but I’ve seen some registries with DVD’s and video game systems listed! In those cases I refuse to even give a gift card, and buy something thoughtful and useful. I’m a big fan of giving brightly colored tea kettles. It’s my favorite gift to give. And the young couple who registered mostly for DVD’s told me they use their lime green kettle every day, so I think it works out.
I’m pretty sure I didn’t follow the guidelines at all. Can we chalk this up to me being “creative”?
We had nothing so we registered for everything we thought we’d need. In hindsight, I would not have registered for bath towels, because we got tons of those NOT on our registry, all mismatched of course.
WE had aa large registry at target,a small one at WM and a tiny one at Pier 1. We got almost everything on our registry, especially at Target and Pier 1. I’d 75% of guests used theregistry, those who did not were the older people – from them we got a lot of random stuff. (crystal candy dishes which still sit unused, decorative wall crosses or stepping stones for our “garden”, even TWO (yes 2!) gold plated last supper wall hangings. (??) )
Most important to register for:
kitchen stuff! small appliances, and a few big things in case some people want to go in together for something.
We registered for some stuff via the wedding website we used (The Knot? Boy, I can’t even remember, but it allowed you to choose different things from different stores in one online registery) and I was downright surprised at how many people used it. We had a tiny wedding but extended friends and family found that registry and bought almost everything we asked for. We put luggage, a comforter, flatware, and a few other practical things on there, so that stuff was awesome to get. I can’t imagine what would be universally important to every new wedded couple — maybe just stuff you BOTH can appreciate (instead of a bunch of foofy crystal vases), or things your loved ones can actually afford (instead of having to take out a loan to buy one overpriced salad plate).
Definitely got too many blenders- four, to be exact. Not sure how that happened. But got all our flatware, glasses, silverware, luggage, etc. So registering definitely worked out for us. If you don’t register for enough, you end up getting crap from old people- candy dishes and weird religious items! But on the other hand, if you don’t go crazy with that bar code scanner and only register for just what you need, a lot of people will just give you cash. Which is excellent.
We registered for almost everything we could think of since we were young and just starting out. Besides the regular kitchen stuff, we also registered for a few of the really big ticket items (silver, china) because my family is very traditional and these are things they considered important, though they really aren’t that important to me.
We registered at Macy’s, Williams-Sonoma and Crate & Barrel. We got just about everything on our registries, including the full set of china and silver (the crystal to complete the set was to be inherited from my grandmother). The only thing people didn’t buy us was probably the one thing I would have liked most, looking back on it all now: our everyday stainless. As it is, we have a mismatched 20-piece outlet sets, so anytime I want to have any decently matched flatware, I have to make with the silver, which just feels pretentious to me.
We did register. I have a huge family and many friend spread out throughout the country. . . as a gift-giver there are lots of people I don’t have close enough contact with on a day-to-day basis to know what they need, what would match their decor, what they would really use, etc. I would say at least 75% of people used our registry and lots of times we got gift cards to those places which helped us get the stuff we still needed. Neither of us had lived on our own the point of being well-outfitted, especially in the kitchen.
We were careful on our registry to put on lots of moderately priced items, including some things like board/party games, because they are fun to buy and we had lots of guests who probably didn’t have a ton of money to spend. I feel like we tried to be really careful not to seem greedy or register for super-expensive things. . . I wish we hadn’t been quite so frugal about some things. Especially the vacuum cleaner.
My problem with registries is that sometimes the things I can afford aren’t very much fun. I try to make up for that by adding a creative touch to the gifts. We bought some glass pie pans for a cousin of mine and I included some recipies with them and my tips for making crust which I’ve been told I do well. (Not so creative, but less boring than opening just the pans.) One friend registered for such nice stuff I could only buy her a muffin pan. I printed out quotes about love/marriage on pretty paper, tied them with little ribbons, and put one in each muffin spot. I try to put a personal touch on the generic items. Which probably sounds corny, but at least it’s more fun that way and the couple can tell I put some thought into the gift.
I’m a huge fan of registries. I like looking at other people’s too, AND what a brilliant idea to avoid that dilemma of deciding whether or not someone will like what you’re getting them.
The most useful we registered for was plates and silverware, since we didn’t have any to speak of. Unless you count the few topless tupperware containers and some plastic baseball beer cups, and of course some stolen cafeteria cutlery.
We didn’t register for any tools, which I’ve seen other people include. Good idea, too bad we didn’t think of it. Tools are fun to buy when it’s NOT YOU who will be needing them. Tools are a pain and way to expensive even for the cheap ones when you need them to make house repairs. But we all need some good tools, so they make a great gift.
We registered but I can’t say I remember all that much that we got other than towel sets. We were both 30(ish) when we got married, had been living on our own for many years and had already combined our household items, so there wasn’t really much that we needed. Our wedding was tiny (we ran off and got married in Hawaii with only 6 persons from our families there) and we had no reception, so basically we made it really hard for people to give us stuff. I don’t regret it one bit, though. & going away to get married was THE best idea we’ve ever had!!! I would highly recommend it!
I cant’ even remember all the things I registered for. The only things I do recall are the silverware pattern and crystal. I got enough of the silverware to serve 8 which was wonderful, and I use it all the time. I only received one or two of the crystal goblets I registered for, which is still disappointing to me. Not that my husband, two-year-old and I drink out of crystal everyday, but I enjoy pulling them out from time to time to enjoy.
We got married 7 years ago. We had two registries (Target and the store that is now Macy’s here). I’d guess maybe 75% of the people who bought us gifts either used the registry or bought us gift certificates for those two stores. We didn’t do fancy china and I’m still glad about that. I was surprised to receive all of the place-settings of the everyday type dishes we registered.
I would say I wish we hadn’t registered for towels. We also registered for a bunch of wine glasses we never use. (Why did I think I needed all those different types of wine glasses? Who did I think was going to be throwing these crazy wine parties?)
My very favorite gifts were a couple of beautiful leaded crystal bowls. (I didn’t register for those.) One was an antique from my mom’s best friend (who has since died) and I adore that bowl. Such a great symbol of a dear woman. The other fancy bowl was from another friend of my parents’. She ordered it from Ireland for us. (So crazy and special!)
I love gift registries too Swistle. Fun topic!
We had two registries; one at Bed, Bath & Beyond and one at Target.
I’d say we got almost everything we registered for. Even the two sets of Henkels knives. We also got a lot of gift cards to B3 and used them to get whatever was left on our registry.
Did you know that B3 will give you cash for your gift cards? We got a $250 card about a month after the wedding and we had already gotten everything on our registry. The store traded us the cash for it. SWEET! So, now I tell everyone I know who’s getting married to register there. Because we can all use cash, right?
The one thing we didn’t get was luggage, and we still haven’t bought any. One of these days we really need to. Ours is an eclectic mix of his pre-marriage stuff and my pre-marriage stuff and it’s getting pretty worn.
The thing we registered for, and got. and is by far our favorite is a paper towel holder. I know, it’s just a paper towel holder. BUT! It’s wonderful and we love it. So much so, that the first Christmas after we were married, we bought everyone in our family one.
I always look at people’s registries and try to buy things on it. My favorite things to get are kitchen utensils. I’ll buy the spoons, spatulas and things that they ask for and get a cute holder for them, too. It’s practical and I know they’ll use them often. Oh! And I always get a nice, silver picture frame to give as well. Because they’re going to have tons of wedding photos (and maybe baby photos later) that they’ll want to display.
We registered at Crate and Barrel, Target and for ‘good china’ at Dillards. The china was such a mistake. We got married right out of college so we pretty much needed everything. I think we thought we were going to be entertaining “The Jones’ ” and would need nice china. Ha ha ha….so young and foolish. We are a ‘corporate couple’ turned military family and now all that nice china is boxed up in a storage facility because I wasnt moving it halfway around the world to Japan where I knew it would just sit in the box.
We got a fair amount of stuff from our registries but also a lot of stuff we didnt want. My husband comes from a ‘prominent’ military family so we had a lot of ‘who-be-who’s’ sending us Waterford crystal and stuff for which we had no use (or interest).
I think the registries are good because it takes the guesswork out of finding something that they will like. But on the same token it sort of feels like buying a gift certificate in that there wasnt a lot of thought behind it, you just found an item in your price range and had it gift wrapped. I think for close friends I’d rather buy something not on a registery- especially because I worry about them thinking “you only like me this many $’s worth?” Welcome to life on a budget.
So, how about baby registeries be the next topic?? My ‘baby’ is almost 2 and as we contemplate a second I know there is all kinds of new stuff that has come out in the last two years. What new stuff have you bought Swistle (hopefully on an end cap on sale at Target ;) )?
I wish we’d paid more attention to our registry, period. We were so completely wiped out from our wedding planning that we did a perfunctory glance through the store and picked out the saddest, most random items.
Honestly, I wish we’d been even a little strategic, and gotten things we’d actually use, instead of the vague mish-mash of stuff we ended up with. I was really self-conscious about registering – it felt greedy, somehow. Now that I’ve been a wedding guest a lot more, I realize how useful it is, and that unless you’re registering for all $400 items, you’re being helpful, not greedy.
Specifically (jesus, could this be any longer?), I wish we’d registered for china. I’m NEVER going to buy decent china for myself, and I get more shit about not registering for china from my relatives than anything else.
LOVE this topic. I, too, love other peoples’ registries; in fact, when I’m in the throes of “Ihatemyjob” sometimes I think working at Macy’s in the china dept would be the perfect job.
SO. I registered (I mean, ahem, WE registered) at 3 different places. Wms-Sonoma, Macy’s, and Dillard’s. I had both “everyday” and “fine” china registries and love them both. I didn’t get tons of serving pieces of the fine china, but they’re expensive so I guess that’s to be expected.
Beverage items were my downfall. From W-S I registered for pint glasses but now I’m mad because they’ve developed that dishwasher ring around the rim, which I KNEW would happen. So that was a waste; I’ll be replacing with plastic shortly, I think. And I have a crystal pattern for wine glasses, but it was very plain and not “cut” crystal, and I think it’s uber-boring now.
I wish we’d registered for a waffle iron, and for expensive pots/pans. We went with the store-brand (cheap, now flaking on the bottoms). Otherwise I think our registries were pretty comprehensive. I think about 80% of our guests used the registry (in my experience it was the older ladies who went off-list and got me something from the church gift shop).
Sorry so long! I can’t tell you what’s most important to register for. What you need most, I think, is the answer to that.
Oh, and my favorite gift to buy is 2 champagne flutes, either in their crystal pattern, or if they don’t have one, some pretty or unique ones. Because it’s not too expensive, and it’s special – every couple should have some special times when they need 2 champagne flutes. :) (Props to my best friend for sharing this idea with me!)
I have to go buy a wedding gift right now, actually! Fun!
This is a fun post! I love registry shopping too. I always work hard to get something that 1) I think is practical and useful and not something that was scanned because WOOHOO We’re getting nice gifts! and 2) something I have and use or would like to use. It is a big decision. My fave gifts to buy are crock pots (of which I include some of my favorite crock recipes) and beverage sets. I absolutely love the libby beverage sets I received.
I had 2 wedding registries. One was at bed bath and beyond and the other at target. We registered for most things at target and things that were fancier or target didn’t carry we requested from bbb.
Now swistle, you know how OCD I am so of course I didn’t register for anything foolish. I had a spreadsheet list of acceptable items we needed and wanted and they were categorized as what to scan at each store and we checked off as we did it. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who register for foolish items or get plain greedy. For example: you do not need the boxed set of your favorite tv show on your wedding registry. ask for that for your birthday, but it isn’t something you need to start your lives together.
I’m really glad I registered for the kitchen aid mixer. I was shocked that someone actually bought it for us. I thought it would be something we’d buy with gift cards. I also love my bamboo cutting board and knife set. The electric griddle/skillet combo is fabulous too. We didn’t register for new dishes because 1) we didn’t find any we liked and 2) I’d bought a brand new set less than a year before we were married and then kept collecting them when they were on CLEARANCE AT 90% OFF so now we have service for (ohmygosh) TWENTY FOUR! We also didn’t register for towels (although I really wanted to ask for several sets of brand new white fluffy luxuriuos towels!) because during the past year we’d collected nice ralph lauren towels of our own that were practically brand new! However there are the various shades of pink ones that were mine on one side of the linen closet, and then the blue/green/orange/khaki collectino that were my hubs on the other side. Don’t worry…I’ve monogrammed ALL OF THEM! :)
We mostly did receive items from our registry. There were a few random things not from our registry that were, um, interesting. However some items not from our registry were fabulous and I’m so glad we got them. My favorites were an engraved doorknocker (the m’s est.2006)and an engraved silver pic fram with our wedding date.
I think the most important wedding registry items are your kitchen stuff (glasses, silverware, dishes, appliances etc.), sheets, towels, and perhaps bed coverings if you need them.
I get annoyed when I see items such as foot bath, tons of pic frames and wall decs, candles, etc. Buy those for your freaking self! I think it’s rude and selfish.
We were registered at Target and Macy’s. I had a huge shower thrown for me and 90% of the gifts came from the registry. It was a blast (for me) and so many people said they prefer a registry because they dont know what people have or need. We also registered for fine china and got 11 place settings, and I rounded out the other 5 I wanted with gift cards and ebay. I have 16 place settings and I use it alot more than I thought I would. I would NEVER have spent the money on it myself so I get a huge thrill out of it.
Neither of my sisters registered and they got alot of weird stuff (along with the nice stuff). They both wish now that they had registered.
I buy from the registries of others about 80% of the time, unless I find something really fabulous on my own, or if it is someone I am very close to and have something more personal I want to give them.
I love wedding talk. I honestly think if we could afford it I would work in (or own) a bridal salon just because I love all that crap. I used to want to be a wedding planner but “Bridezilla” killed that dream.
What a fun topic! I was just at a baby shower so the whole registry thing has been on my mind. (All of the people who are moms bought the practical stuff off the registry. and the non-moms bought the wipes warmer and size 0 weeboks.)
I am glad I registered. Possibly, the only thing that made the wedding planning (and Inlaw drama) worthwhile was my Kitchen Aid stand mixer. I registered at BBB and a department store for pricier stuff.
I wish I hadn’t registered for good towels. We didn’t own a home then and now that we do I either have to decorate around the color the “good” towels are or I waste a perfectly good set of high quality towels.
We got about 85% of our Bed, Bath and Beyond registry but only about 50% of our department store registry. (Which had the china on it and many items would have had to be special ordered because they weren’t in stock.) I did have a bridal shower and that’s where we got most of the registry stuff. People mostly gave money at the wedding.
I think what’s important to register for is hard to tell. It really depends on the couple. Are they fresh out of college and have only one frying pan to their name? Or have they been on their own for years and have 2 of everything from toasters to beds? Do they love to cook? Entertain? travel? Actually, I guess that’s why people register.
I got married relatively late (33) and we registered for nice stuff, though not NICE stuff. For instance, we did not register for china or chrystal but we did register for nicer everyday dishes from Fiestaware. I was additcted to watching my registry. I noticed right away that someone bought my prized and coveted Kitchenaid mixer. However, after all the wrap was torn off and thrown away, no mixer sat among the gifts. Sniff. I ended up winning one years later at a work thing though, so all’s well that ends well.
Great topic and comments. We were pretty well set with household stuff, but we registered for some kitchen gadgets with the I Do Foundation (online only). One of the registry options is that you can choose from a list of charities and people can donate to the charities instead of giving you a physical gift. Also, a portion of the sale proceeds goes to those charities. We chose Doctors without Borders and Peace Brigades International as our charities. (We met in Peace Corps, so it seemed appropriate.)
An under-the-counter mounted toaster oven. Which was recalled shortly after installed. Such a silly thing. Who wants to make their toast in an “oven?” But we registered for it.
When we got married, we had NOTHING, so we needed everything from flatware to sheets to cleaning supplies. So our registry was very strange. I think the best gifts were a tv, a vacuum cleaner and a lawn mower – all off our registries.
Oh, this is a great topic!
I registered. I got married at 21 and moved directly out of my college dorm into my first apartment with my husband. We had NOTHING. We registered for EVERYTHING. Nice stuff for the relatives to give us, and “cool” (at the time) stuff for our friends to give us, because they all told us they didn’t want to think of us as being old boring grownups and wanted to buy fun stuff. We got a Super Nintendo, a wooden toilet seat (because the one in our apartment was horrible and I really did want to buy a comfy one) and a bunch of board games, along with 19 place settings of our everyday dishes and almost everything else on our registry. I loved it, although now I can see it was ridiculous to register for some of that stuff. Hey, people bought it! And we were so broke we couldn’t have bought any of it ourselves.
When I have to buy a gift I always buy something off the registry and then try to make a theme out of it. One time I bought the ice cream dishes and scoop from B3 and then bought a bunch of sprinkles and sauces and made an ice cream social basket. I’m big on themes. It’s more fun that way. Get something they asked for, and add more to it in the same genre.
I have no idea why we registered for an entire set of barware. Specific glasses for specific drinks type set of barware. We don’t have a bar, we’re not even big drinkers. But we asked for it. And got it.
I really wish we’d had silverware on it. We have this huge mishmash of flatware and it makes me crazy. And matching towels. That would have been nice too.
We had two registries. Nothing too high-end because we’re laid back.
We did very well with people buying what we asked for, in general. Or giving cash, that was nice. Not too many people went off of it. Thank goodness.
I think the most important things to register for are things you like. Things you’ll use.