BAD NIGHT. First I ate a bowl of ice cream and crushed Oreos too close to bedtime, a delicious, delicious mistake. Then we got an email from Paul’s dad. It was his usual crap: one-third asking for reassurance that it’s okay that he’s been out of touch for nearly two years, one-third blaming everyone else (including us) for him being out of touch, one-third weird paranoid stuff about how he doesn’t update us on his life because people twist his words and he doesn’t know who he can trust. I find these infrequent emails adrenalizing. Half of me votes for fight (“Listen, bonehead…”) and half of me votes for flight (click delete and move on). My nighttime brain always votes for fight, and composes long and detailed emails.
It was clear to me that Benadryl was called for, and I took some. It was shortly after I did this that the twins started acting up. First one would cry briefly and go back to sleep; then the other would do the same. I got out of bed and went to the living room: I’m happiest if I just stay up to deal with sleep issues, rather than getting repeatedly yanked out of sleep. I stayed up for 2 hours. I went in a few times with the usual results: I soothe Elizabeth, she screams when I leave, she finally drifts off, Edward starts crying, Elizabeth wakes up again. Finally, finally, there was quiet. I waited ten minutes to be sure. I went to bed. The Benadryl had kicked in, and I went out fast.
Ten minutes later, both babies were crying. I handled it badly. I flung the sleeping cat out of my way as I got out of bed. I stormed into their room. I asked them what they thought the problem was. I checked their diapers once again. I offered them a drink once again. I slammed the baby gate AND the door on my way out. You can imagine how soothing and comforting this was to the babies. I stewed in the living room while they screamed. I wrote in my journal about how impossible it is to handle sleep issues: it doesn’t matter how many children I have, all I learn is that the issues usually have no one key to solving them, and that they usually resolve themselves after awhile, and that until they do resolve, everything I do will feel like a mistake and everything will feel like my fault, and some of it will in fact be a mistake and my fault, such as the door-slamming. This isn’t helpful when it’s 1:30 in the morning and everyone’s exhausted. Fortunately, the twins went to sleep shortly afterwards, and so did I–right in the recliner. I woke up a couple of hours later and went back to bed.
The best/worst part of the night was that I dreamed that John C. McGinley was my total boyfriend, and I was getting to pet his hair as much as I wanted to, which was a lot, but I kept getting interrupted in and out of the dream. In the dream: Oh, no, Rob is late for the bus! A baby is crying! No one’s had breakfast yet! Someone is here to talk to John! The phone is ringing! Out of the dream: “Mommy, I had a bad dream.” Baby actually crying. Cat sounding like it might be about to throw up. Cat trying to pick a door open.
When it was time to get up, everything seemed tired and dreary, and I wondered if I was even going to be able to get Rob off to school. I did all the things that can help at times like this. I turned on lots of lights. I dunked my head under the bathtub faucet. I averted my eyes from the mountains of laundry. I drank a big cup of water.
Luckily for me, it’s looking like the kind of day that’s going to go well. The morning routine went smoothly, and there’s a load of laundry in. I think I’ll bake cookies later with William, and then the house will smell all yummy, and also there will be cookies. My hair smells yummy because I used some of my carefully-hoarded Bath & Body Works lavender-vanilla shampoo last night. I have a bunch of yummy-smelling Yankee Candle candles I found at 75% off at Hallmark yesterday. I think I can guarantee a medley of yummy smells throughout the day, possibly in lethally bad combinations.
My only question is, where was Paul for all of this?
A wise woman once told me that sleep issues are the absolute worst. I agree wholeheartedly.
I’m sorry about your bad night. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for a good one tonight.
I had an oreo milkshake last night and had a bad night, too…what is up with that? But not as bad as yours. I’m glad the day is starting to go well. Darsie is eating a granola bar for breakfast, so I’m sure that is setting some sort of direction for our day.
I hope the day is much, much better than your night was! I am such a crab if Harper wakes me up in the middle of the night; especially when it is for no apparent reason.
I think I can smell the yumminess from here!
Penny– Snoring. He did come out once, right after I slammed the doors, but at that point there wasn’t much to be done. I don’t know how men sleep through these things. Especially if women are kicking them in their spines.
typical husband… mine sleeps through everything too.
I love Yankee Candles. They have coupons once or twice a year for buy one get one free. My aboslute fav is still Macintosh apple. Makes the whole house smell good.
I hate nights like that. I get so irrational and delirious when I’m tired and have been woken repeatedly. It feels like I’m trapped in the twilight zone and there will be no end to the craziness, ever.
Question: Any way you could switch around sleeping arrangement and put the twins in seperate bedrooms? It sounds like they are not so good for each other, sleep-wise.
oh I hate when I lose it like that. Later I tell myself they are just babies and I should grow up but for some reason in the middle of the night insanity takes over.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who loses it in the middle of the night. It’s hard to be kind and sweet when you’re sleep deprived.
I love oreos and ice cream.
Yankee candles are the only ones worth buying since that actually emit a fragrance!
Have a better night tonight.
Nighttime stuff is so weird, isn’t it? In the morning I can’t believe I got so worked up. But I think part of my brain is shut down at night. The rational part.
Aoife– My favorite is a Balsam & Cedar one they have in winter. It is SO YUM.
D.H.– I am begging–BEGGING–Paul to get going on the project of rearranging rooms. The new baby is going to room with Edward, so Elizabeth can have her own room–but it does mean some significant furniture-moving and also some big decisions about whether Rob and William have to share a room, or whether we share our room with the office stuff. I was hoping to get this done before I was hauling around a huge tum, but no such luck.
Jennifer– Have you tried the Yankee Candle room spray? Hallmark had a bunch of kinds in pretty brushed-metal containers, $2.50 down from $10. I hadn’t seen it before.
Ugh! There is nothing worse than falling asleep only to be awaken seconds later. I get all shaky and feel like I am gonna puke when that happens.
I hope you get a nap today.
Ugh, sounds awful!! Here’s to better sleep tonight for all of you!!
((hugs))
I know the middle of the night crazies all too well. I have slammed the door far too many times. *sigh*
I completely lose my mind in the middle of the night.
I had ice cream last night too and slept crappy. Weird.
Sleep issues are the worse I swear. Even 6 years into parenting, chances are I’ll have more nights of interrupted sleep than not. Isn’t that sad. And don’t you just LOVE the off-and-on crying for no reason all night. That is the one that will make me lose my cool in the middle of the night too. I feel for ya!
I heart yankee candles too.
Ugg. I’m sorry you had a crappy night, but the cookies certainly sound good. I swear, I can smell them over the Internet, or maybe that’s my delusional brain…
We dont have sleep issues, but we definitely have dinner time issues. For some reason my kids seem to lose their shit right when I am at my most stressed – dinner is half made, the kids want to go outside, the mail is calling me, the laundry needs to be started, the phone is ringing, my husband cant find something, etc.etc. Then I yell and slam doors and kitchen cabinets alot. It doesnt help. It doesnt even make me feel better.
An oreo sundae would make me feel better. So would cookies.