You guys. You are not going to believe this. I emailed Tal, saying almost exactly my sample email but with more gushing afterwards about the baby to cushion the first sentence, which started with “I don’t think it’s going to work out to get together…”
He wrote back within a couple of hours, and he says: “Are you on bed rest? Why the grim prognosis for visiting?” And then he talks about how great it would be to get together and catch up sometime soon.
Whuh? Has he experienced severe head trauma? Does he not understand any social cues at all? First I put him off, then I tapered off the emails, then I took ages to reply to this one, and then I said it wasn’t going to work out to get together but let’s “try” to keep in touch via email. That’s pretty clear, right? I mean, it’s not as clear as “Look, idiot, I don’t like you anymore but you can email me with major life changes if you must,” but it’s about as direct as I get with these sorts of situations. And he wants to know if I’m ON BEDREST??
Dropped on his head as a baby. Repeatedly. That’s my guess. Or else a LOT of recreational drug use since I last saw him.
I think it is the too much recreational drugs or he is just soooo unhappy with his life that he is trying desperately to invade yours. Either way, you don’t need it. Just ignore the e-mail…or like Jen said in response to the earlier post, send him a mix tape of break up songs.
I agree that he needs something else to focus on other than his pathetic life. You’re pregnant, you have your own family and you owe him nothing. I’d ignore the emails, too. & next time be more selective about which old old friends you give your real email address to!
SO, you feel like switching email addresses? lol
Seriously, he sounds like a blockhead. I’d just ignore him now. He’s the kind who can’t take a hint. I know them well! (my IL’s!) You’ll either have to be extremely blunt or just avoid him…
This is a weird one. Why do the uncomfortable personal conundrums seem to stalk you, Swistle?! You need a break.
Do you think if you had dinner with him once, and sort of told your kids ahead of time to go ahead and throw food and pick their noses and break the breakables and consume lots of sugar, maybe his wife would be so appalled she would order him to sever the connection with you?
D.H.– You know, I don’t know. You know what I think, is that maybe SMART people get rid of these problems before they get to this point.
I think this man has a case of the crazies.
I wouldn’t even bother responding. You told him, quite clearly, that you can’t get together. No explanation needed.
Oh my gosh! Yeah, he’s seriouly FOCUSED on being friends with you, and that’s a little wierd. I would just ignore his emails from now on. And, is it his business whether you’re on bed rest or not?
“Look, idiot, I don’t like you anymore but you can email me with major life changes if you must.”
Oooooh, definitely use that one. I like. ;-)
He gives me the creeps. Lose him.
PS I’ve tagged you for the 7 songs meme: list 7 songs you currently enjoy with links to audio or video clips of them. Feel free to play or pass if you’d rather.
Send him a link to your blog. That oughta do the trick, assuming he can read. Not sure since he seems so dense.
I don’t know, some people just don’t pick up on social cues like that, they really don’t. I mean, if he likes you and thinks you’re nice, it would be hard for him to make the leap that you don’t like him, so he assumes you’re busy, and tries harder so you know – so you REALLY REALLY KNOW – that he’s willing to work at getting together.
I think that you will likely have to be more direct. Not with the wife or anything, but that look, your relationship was a long time ago, and while you wish him well, it’s not a time in life you want to revisit.
TheFlyingMum– You know, he’s giving me the creeps too. He’s seeming dense to the point of me wondering if he’s not dense but instead kind of…creepy.
Jonniker– And that’s my other theory: that he’s not really creepy, but that he can’t understand why we’re not friends anymore when HE still feels like friends. This is the theory that makes me feel a little sorry for him.
Lucy’s Mom– HA HA HA!
Ew, what a creep. I would definitely ignore him at this point. Let us know how that goes…probably not well, judging from his apparent total lack of awareness.
Dense as dense can be. I’d choose the ignoring route at this point. Maybe, just maybe, that will clue him in. Poor pathetic fool.
Speaking as a dense person who takes a while to pick up on social clues, if you ignore him long enough, he’ll eventually catch on. I have had this happen with two friends of mine – long-time friends – who kind of tapered themselves out of my life. It took me a while, but I eventually understood, and even harbor no hard feelings. Damn, I must be really annoying. ~Laura