Apparently you guys were just tapping your fingers impatiently through all the posts on baby names and recipes, dying for me to ask you instead what TV shows to watch.
I’ve watched Six Feet Under on DVD already; I found it almost too upsetting at times, but wonderful. The last episode had me sobbing—not just crying a little but snorting and heaving and choking. I think I watched the last part of it three times, and then had welling tears every time I thought of it for the next few days. And, um, also right this minute, writing about it.
On another topic, I told some people in my real life about my blog. It was a total secret before, and now it’s a mixed secret: I told Paul and my parents that the blog exists, but that they may not read it. This may have been a mistake. But I am not good with secrets, and I was starting to slip and have to cover it up, and also I wanted to be able to tell Paul and my parents when something awesome happened (“CATHERINE NEWMAN commented on my blog!!” “SUNDRY reads my blog!!”).
As you might expect, there have been mixed reactions to my sudden revelation. Paul was a little crabby, especially when I made him actually literally promise not to look for the blog or read it—but also made him listen to stories of blog happiness. My mom, who is the kind of mom who would walk right past an open diary, was just “Oh! How nice!” My dad is more, “If it’s a public blog, it should be public”–that is, he should get to read the whole thing, because everybody on the internet gets to. My argument is that it isn’t really public. Sure, it’s on the internet, but it’s anonymous. If it weren’t anonymous, I wouldn’t be writing as frankly as I write. And to my parents, I’m not anonymous. Therefore, they can’t read it. We’ve worked out an arrangement: I’ll send him links to the entries he may read, as long as he promises not to go poking around in the rest of the site. I can’t write if I’m thinking, “Oh, my dad’s going to be reading this–better leave out the part about pelvic rest.”
Semi-Desperate Housewife had a post awhile back on this general topic–basically, who knows about your blog, and how does it affect your writing, and do you leave things out because of the people you know are reading, and do you now regret telling people about the blog?
My blog isn’t anonymous at all. Family, friends and coworkers all read it. On one hand, this is very convenient for the dissemination of baby-related info and photos. However, I do regret the inability to talk about whatever the hell I feel like. I feel a self-imposed sense of censorship.
I’ve hopped through about 30 blogs in various places. It’s annoying. On the one hand you want them to read it so you don’t have to tell them 200 times but on the other hand as soon as you know they are reading it, it starts shaping how you write. Then you have the annoying lurking siblings who think you don’t know they are totally lapping up every last juicy bit.
Not to worry. I hereby pledge to the quasi-public here assembled that I won’t read any postings without permission. I figure this is good practice for the coming years, when Swistle is taking care of me in my dotage and can restrict my freedoms as she pleases, and I’ll either like it or get parked at the curb. (Payback for when she was in high school and I ripped her phone off the wall one midnight.)
My blog is semi-anonymous. My husband, best friend, sister-in-law and co-workers all know it exists but don’t know what the actual location/title of it is. Even though I don’t think anyone who knows me in real life reads, I’m hesitant to put pictures of myself (face anyway) up lest all doubt that it is me be removed. I’m rather private in my ‘real’ life–alot of what goes on I don’t or wouldn’t feel comfortable having other people read and pass judgement on (not that ‘real’ life is so exciting at our house). I do feel a bit censored at times though–there have been several occasions where I’d really like to write about something, more as a cathartic release for me, but fear that the person(s) I am writing about will somehow manage to find my blog on that very day stops me short. That’s what my actual physical journal is for I guess.
Overall though, I don’t feel like I write a particular way just to attract a specific (small and that’s okay) audience. I write what’s on my mind for those five or ten short minutes that I have to write. I like to think of my blog as a port-o-john for all those thoughts in my head that need somewhere to go. Maybe someday, when I have more time, I’ll make more of an effort to really develop it into something more serious.
I actually stopped writing my blog because my hubsand and mother in law were big readers of it. I started it out as journal for the in laws and friends that were out of town, but found myself frustrated when I couldn’t write something down without fearing my in laws or hubby would take it the wrong way. I’ve been thinking about starting a new blog, but I’m not sure how to work it in with 4 kids and the thought for going back to school. “sigh” I do miss writing though.
Catherine Newman commented on your blog? Can I be you please?
Sorry, Beth, I got to me first, I get first dibs on being me.
I think I should clarify that Swistle’s Dad was not in the habit of doing dramatic things like ripping phones off of walls. I’d say, in fact, that there was a dramatic gesture of that sort exactly once in my entire childhood. The rest of the time was filled with less dramatic events, such as tricking me by turning bread crusts innocent-side-out on my sandwiches.
Pretty much everyone I know is aware of my blog, including the company I do freelance work for (and used to work full-time for and therefore have lots of crazy stories and gripes about).
I do leave out my exact location and last name, but that’s about it. But I think 20 times before posting something to make sure I don’t include anything that might offend anyone, and I check with my husband when he’s the object of a joke (he’s a good sport, thankfully). I also leave out most really personal stuff. My blog is just a way to amuse myself, really.
My father asked for my link, though, and I had to tell him no. There are too many penis and sex references. And I prefer to believe he knows nothing about those things.
If I could write anonymously, boy, I’d have fodder coming out my ears!
Oh you brave soul. Best of luck now that you’ve revealed your blog to family members. I hope that it works out for you. I like that you kindly asked them not to go snooping. I think that will make them more likely to comply. I love your blog and would hate to see you censor it.
As for me, well, my blog is pretty annonymous right now. There is one person who’s blog I read (and I think she reads mine occassionally) that I know. But my family and husband and other friends for now are unaware that I even have a blog. My hubby knows I read blogs, though, and I don’t think it would matter to him if he did know about it. Like you, I just like feeling a bit of annonyimity.