I think my little crisis has (mostly) passed. Thanks to those of you who reminded me that some people say stupid things for no good reason, and that it’s better to remember one’s own personal life philosophies than to automatically absorb everyone else’s. I am just a little too pregnant to see things in a balanced light right now.
One thing that helped was remembering when I was pregnant with the twins and reading a lot of twin-rearing books. All of them were like, “Um, you are totally going to need to hire round-the-clock help because twins are so, so hard.” Then they added, “And by the way, most twins are born early and have tons of problems, and also you could end up on bed rest for months.” Thanks, twin books! I had a totally uncomplicated pregnancy that went full-term, and the twins were born as big as singleton babies, and we’ve managed to take care of them without outside help, but thanks to the twin books I did it all with a hefty dose of anticipatory worry that came to nothing! Yay me for believing everything everyone else says as long as it’s bad news!
Anyway. I think if four children including a set of twins feels like no big deal, then probably five children including a set of twins isn’t going to be a whole lot worse. And if they’re a real problem when they’re older, I’ll send them to boarding school. There! *brushing hands briskly* Problem solved.
Twins are being extra cute, which helps. If I carry one twin out of the room, they wave good-bye to each other. Also, this morning they were sitting side by side looking at a book together and pointing to things and looking at each other for reactions: “Whoa! I wasn’t expecting that ending, were you?” And Edward likes to hold his blankie and lean his head on Elizabeth, and even though she hates it and makes loud protesting noises, it still looks really cute, especially because he’s so oblivious to her objections. Even though she doesn’t like him snuggling on her, she’ll alert me if he cries: she looks at me with wide eyes and raised eyebrows, pointing to him and saying her sound for his name.
By the way, last chance to post a comment on Delurking Week to make me send a dollar to St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital.
I commented about my mouse-to-battleship hair, and shall comment again now. I have a 14 year old boy, and he is actually a very cool, friendly, funny and loving big little guy. We like having him around, even if he won’t hug us in public. You’re going to have a whole house full of those one of these days, plus one very well-adjusted teenage girl, and I’m kind of jealous.
Ooh, yeah! I forgot to say that in my last comment. Sure, right now it will be sort of rough juggling all those little kids, no doubt, but imagine yourself in twenty years, all your kids (hopefully!) out of the house and involved in their productive adult lives, some of them probably married with maybe a baby or two of their own, and you in the middle of a big, happy family, the beloved matriarch with grandchildren who adore you. There, don’t you feel better?
Plus, if some of them settle in fun areas of the country, it can be a bonus. My soon-to-be mother-in-law seems to be pleased that one of her children lives in California, one in the mountains of Wyoming, and one on the east coast. They figure, these are all fun vacation spots and they’ve always got a place to stay. My parents are starting to feel the same way. :)
D.H., I like the “beloved matriarch” concept! I bet it comes with kisses on the cheek, boxes of chocolates, and new slippers at Christmas. I bet I get to sit in the best chair watching everyone benevolently and holding a baby grandchild. I like it!
B. Sheep, you are totally right: I had neglected to consider the road trip possibilities! With five kids, we should get nice national coverage.