Okay, let’s get to work naming this boy. Now that I know I need boy names and not girl names, I feel fresh enthusiasm for the task. This despite our boy name list, which is PITIFUL. I asked Paul, “Do we have ANY boy name candidates?,” and he said, “No.”

We actually do, but it is a far from stellar list. Most of them, we’ve rejected repeatedly with previous boys, and so the names have a worn, tired feeling to us. Others have serious flaws. Here’s the list, with their problems:

Alan: We’re afraid this is too old and not old enough: 1950s names are not a great choice right now. Also, might be geeky. I like it partly because of the character known as The Brain on the TV show Arthur (his actual name is Alan). I also like it because of Alan Alda, but he doesn’t help with the geek factor. (Nor does The Brain, I suppose, but I find him so appealing I can’t see it that way.)

Charlie: Both of us dislike the name Charles, but don’t want to use Charlie as the given name. And I don’t think the name Charles would grow on us.

Henry: We’re worried that this one was a late-’90s mini-hit that is now Over–without being Over enough to have regained its classic status. Also, until the late ’90s, I thought this name was the epitome of geeky and old, and I’m not sure I’m past that. My mother was horrified when I mentioned the name (during my first pregnancy), and with each pregnancy since has worried that I will use it. I think she’d get used to it, but I hate to torture her on purpose.

Leo: This is the frontrunner as far as I’m concerned, but Paul is still thinking of it as a blatant reference to Leonardo DiCaprio. I’m more worried about all the references I’ve seen lately to how great it is with the name Max, since I’m heartily sick of the name Max and other names of that sort, such as Sam and Jack. (All three of those names–Max, Sam, and Jack–were on my list in 1998 when I was pregnant for the first time. I think the reason I’m so sick of them now is that I thought of them as such Awesome Fresh New Ideas when I thought of them, and then experienced the crashing disillusionment of discovering that we all think of great names at the same time. Were Emma, Isabelle, Ava, and Abigail also on that list? Why, yes they were.)

Oliver: We have a cat named Oliver. We’ve had him our entire married life. I think that’s too much to get past. Plus, we often call the cat Olive, and I think that’s a bad sign for the boy’s name.

Elliot: We don’t like the way it can be Eliot, Elliot, Eliott, or Elliott. Also, we’re both sort of so-so on the name to begin with.

Riley: Really, really, really like it. And it is a vile clash with our surname.

Miles: I don’t know. It’s a noun. It sounds plural.

Oh, man, is there any hope? I’m looking through The Baby Name Wizard hoping to add to the list, but I just don’t like anything. Boy names are so b-o-r-i-n-g.