I have given up trying to find something that will make me stop coughing. The OB gave me a list of medications safe to take during pregnancy, and the only one listed for coughing is “regular Robitussin,” which is an expectorant (to make you cough up gunk from your lungs) not a suppressant (to make the coughing stop). I tried it anyway, and of course it made no difference. (That taste, it reminds me of childhood. In 25 years they haven’t changed it. I still had to drink it fast so it would be down my throat before my mouth knew what had hit it.) I also tried a vaporizer, sleeping half-sitting up, breathing slowly through my nose, letting a hard candy dissolve slowly in my mouth—anything anyone said helped them to stop coughing. No good, any of it.

Here is the only thing that works: Benedryl, to knock me flat out so I don’t notice the coughing. It’s on my list for itching, allergies, and trouble sleeping, and I think this qualifies as the last one. I take two Benedryl about half an hour before bed, and I sleep almost all night.

I hate taking medicine when I’m pregnant. No matter how safe the medicine, no matter how many years pregnant women have taken it with no ill effect, I am always half-thinking that in 25 years we’ll find out it took 20 IQ points off the fetus, or that it causes the next generation to be born with flippers.